The Question

Let's Make You Known!3,108 stories ·793 members

There will come a time in every parent's life, when there kid will ask them "Where do babies come from?" How will Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash be able to explain this to their kid, when they're both the same gender?

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Comments ( 9 )

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Jlargent

Jlargent #1 · Feb 20th, 2014 · · ·

Umm...Flutters why don't you take this one?
We'll tell you when you're older.

DragonLady

DragonLady #2 · Feb 20th, 2014 · · ·

All these downvotes? Come on, it's not bad. It could use improvement, but it's not terrible.

Jake The Army Guy

Jake The Army Guy #3 · Feb 20th, 2014 · · ·

3974745

Uh... it kinda is. It's confusing to follow the action, because so little body language or blocking is present, and since speech tags are absent from a good deal of the conversations. I read it twice, and I';m still not sure who is the parent of who, or what pairings are present beyond FLutterDash. Also, the "question" is never answered, which I would think would be the point of the story. The whole "two mares make a baby" is kind of a big plot hole in the story as shown, and since the characters never even allude to it, it leaves me with big questions marks and a good deal of frustration. That, and every SINGLE one of the Mane Six—as an aside, you really should never refer to them as such, it reeks of amateurism—are shipped with ANOTHER member of the Mane Six. Bad enough that they're all conveniently lesbians. Again, it just feels contrived and forced.

So... yeah, not a really good fic. You have some decent elements here, author, to be sure. But this is just a bit of a confusing mess. Not trying to be mean or harsh, just honest.

EDIT: Just saw that you're in the military. Always glad to see another service member writing pony fiction.

Forum Explorer

Forum Explorer #4 · Feb 21st, 2014 · · ·

3974838

I will admit it's a tad confusing. For example I took it to be only Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash who were lesbians and Rarity in fact is with an unknown Crystal Pony.

Zanem-Ji

Zanem-Ji #5 · Feb 21st, 2014 · · ·

3974838 I'll be sure to make the needed changes to it. And I understand the honest and greatly appreciate it!

Jake The Army Guy

Jake The Army Guy #6 · Feb 21st, 2014 · 1 · ·

3979867

Also, the whole lesbians/ Inter-Mane Six shipping thing isn't really a valid criticism. That's just a personal pet peeve. You may ship whatever you like.

There At The Close