What was suppose to be a simple camping trip for four friends has an unexpected turn into a colorful new world. Will they adapt to this new world that is filled with mythical monsters and creature and talking... ponies?
Warning! Story may include: Bad jokes, idiotic comments, random encounters and ponies. Lots and lots of ponies!
This is a universe where mlp does not exist! This takes place a bit after the events of the Season 4 premier.
If you want the GDocs for this story click here for the table of contents.
(Rating and Tags may be subject to change)
Rated Teen for:
Language
Violence
And other stuff...
Chapters (16)
LOVE IT!!
Love it!
EPIC
oh buck! DIS GONA B GOOD!!!!!
epic chapt man keep it up!
liking it so far keep up the good work
cuckoo
Legend of Zelda reference?
Yay for the mac n' cheese!! Also, not telling them is so gonna bite them in the ass.
nah they would understand telling herbivores that they eat meat, would go over bad, and see why they were afraid to let that slip... now the deer they killed, that... that will go south for them
also im suprised they did not get sick from lack of protien especially leo since he is healling, and trust me ive tried a protien free diet and in just 1 week i was really feeling it i likely would have needed to go to the hospital for malnutrishion in 1-2 weeks more at the most
But the Liver dude what about the Mothefucking Liver
After reading this chapter, I'd like to thank you for one thing. Some think it's minor, but it's major in my eyes:
You specifically mentioned the girl safetying the pistol before turning around, and the guy holstering his before turning to leave. I'm more than a bit of a stickler for gun safety, and too many fics ignore it, just like too many movies / tv shows do.
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Thanks for reading the story. Although I don't usually comment on my own story, your comment really stuck out to me. Yeah it might be something small that you like the most but to me, it's another detail.
Details, I'm a stickler for them.
I spotted a Lord Of The Rings reference. Gandalf's most famous quote
Wait!!!!!! Who's Rosa gonna be with?
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Rosa’s ship will be revealed later (because I still sorta haven’t decided on who to ship her with)
This is a good start, I'm liking this so far.
Guys get ready im about to break the fifth wall
-Felipe
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Shhh... not yet
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But meeeeeeem i want myyyy cheeezy pooofs
4460214 oh ok
So let me get this straight, in order to trust them. The princesses are sending them after 4 items, that are not only powerful but can rival the elements. Don't you see the stupidity in that. And one of them is still injured i think.
Dammit, Twi, why the fuck are you so judjamental of other peoples eating habits
Also FIRST
im so sorry
well now im hungry for more, i do love a good bit of conflict..
Good start so far. Desperation makes them go back to the ponies.
I hate dream sequences x.x
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Yeah, I'll have dream sequences every once in a while but that chapter is only one that is just a dream sequence. I promise that everything will make sense as the story progesses
I Pinkie Promise!
Telling them is both good and bad. They might freak at first, but I'm sure fluttershy would understand. Rainbow dash might understand as well since she used to be friends with Gilda. Twilight might as she is science minded and understands different creatures biologies. The rest might take it kinda hard.
Well I'm caught up, and I hope you read my comment about their meat reactions before you continue. I could of seen twilight not reacting like that, but this is ok I suppose. But rainbow should totally be at least familiar with the idea. Anyway, keep on keeping on!
No EqG in this world I assume?
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That is TBD but the human protagonists in this story are from a universe like ours but where MLP doesn't exist
4718736 Fluttershy should be OK with it since she gave otters fish in "Dragonshy" and the bear is also an omnivore
Are they going to make use of that armor later on in battle?
more please
Better have him say POR LA MIERDA
I swear to Dog if this is a Twi ship I'm gonna have to kill a bitch.
Humans... Just a dime a dozen back-stabbing scumbags... Like you! Ugh, you giving me these feels. Damnit...
5371669 Bingo, babycakes.
you better make him kiss twilight
This requires a new chapter.
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HELL YEAH
I'm noticing a very obvious lack of punctuation in your dialogue. You're probably gonna want to fix that.
My cabbages!!! Want more!
Oh how stupid my jokes and references are.
This story is... It's meh. I kinda like the premise, but it isn't written in the best way. I mean, It's better than most of the crap that floods this site on a daily basis, but it isn't straight-up novel quality. You might wanna get someone to help you out with your writing skills. All in all, I'd say it's a good story, just needs some polishing.
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Alright well firstly thanks for at least giving my story a read I always appreciate it. And as for punctuation and how it not that "high quality", I cannot pass this off as my "first story" as that would be a lie. But it is a story that I have more effort and I am still an amateur so I won't disregard any advice so thank you for pointing out what you believe can be fix and I'll fix any grammatical errors as soon as possible, and hopefully I can get a break for the chaos that is life to continue to work on this story.
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On the contrary I love your references keep them up! And don't worry, as soon as I get some things straight in my life I'll pump out some more chapters for you guys to enjoy!
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All will be revealed soon enough Don't worry I will... or will I?
Now for the obligatory bathroom scene!
4460214 Ship her with ... Mr. Cake!
ok, changing my comment a bit here, I re - read a few chapters back because of the new update and I had no idea what was going on.
I call Bullshit.
that reaction is out of character for BOTH Twilight and Applejack, first off Twi is too level headed to asume that because someone eats meat he/she/it is/are automatically a monster, she is a princess after all, so she must have known of the Griffin's alimentary habits
and Appejack would have noticed if someone isn't trustworthy.
Good that you are back and can continue the story.
And hoppe you an good luck to keep it upp
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Your comment really stuck to me. It's quite distracting really
And I went back the chapter in question and realized that it was somewhat poorly written. As I speak I've woken up my editor via blowing up their phone with repeated text messages and are discussing or at least I'm asking for a bit of advice. So please bear with me as I fix this... Hopefully...