Chapter 15: Welcome to Ponyville (Part 6)
Spike and I had spent longer talking about comics than I’d expected. I’m almost late for my first scheduled task for the day: setting the table for Twilight’s friends, who are due to come over for lunch. The cooks just kind of waive me away at first when I ask what kind of dishware I’ll need. So I decide to just grab a large hooffull of unnecessary plate ware and balance it precariously on my way out.
After the yelling subsides, they give me a very specific list, written rather quickly, of all the dishes I actually need, with instructions on how many not to carry at one time. After that, setting the table is rather simple.
A few maids putter around the dining room while I set out place settings, some of which give me some rather impressive side-eye. I make a point to push a few potted plants around as I walk by, only to hear grumbling and the scraping of pottery on crystal as they put it back while I leave the room.
The next thing on my list is to collect some… stuff from the study and bring it into the map room, as they have some kind of activity planned for the afternoon. The list Twilight left is rather interesting, although after Blueblood’s demand for a thousand rubber duckies and a trebuchet last month, nothing surprises me anymore. Although that is an impressive amount of confetti she’s asking for. I have a small idea why, but I make a mental note to stay out of the room for awhile afterward. That stuff gets everywhere and it clashes horribly with my shade of brown.
I run into Spike a few times during my rounds, but we both seem to be keeping ourselves busy, and only make passing conversation. Soon, though, my work for the moment is done. I have a feeling Twilight doesn’t want to give me too much responsibility, for fear of me finding something new and interesting to do with it.
So, given my free time, I decide to explore Ponyville proper for awhile. I have a couple of hours before I’m due back to help with cleanup and setting places for dinner, and I’d taken a moderate amount of bits with me to do some local shopping. Small towns like this always have that home-made can’t-find-anywhere-else vibe to them that I’ve always loved. Canterlot may have some excellent craftsmareship, but these kind of cozy suburbs always have something new and interesting, because they don’t have to compete with some giant company or famous designer. They can just be them.
I’ve also heard that there’s a wicked party supply store nearby, and somepony stole all of my noisemakers. Now how am I supposed to wake up my boss every other other day without those?”
I stop and ask a few locals for directions, and find that the atmosphere is much like I expected. Welcoming, joyful, eager to meet new faces. Basically a town full of ponies who haven’t met me before.
Well, except one. I notice a familiar mare in the crowd, giving some serious consideration to a stand selling oats. “Hello, Derpy!” I call out. The blonde looks up and gives me a jovial wave, so I trot up to join her. “What are you doing?”
“Hi Schaden! I’m just trying to figure out what the best oats are for my new recipe. I’ve done oatmeal muffins before, but I really want to try something new,” she explains, returning her intense gaze to an assortment of oats.
The pony running the stall seems rather patient. I raise an eyebrow at him. “Is she a frequent customer?”
The stallion, sporting a purple coat and green mane, nods enthusiastically. “One of my best! She’s got a wicked eye for oats! She’s a great baker, too! Not like the Cakes, but I always try her new stuff!”
Derpy smiles widely at the praise, and points a wing at a bag of oats that, to me, look like all the others. I assume there is a bit of difference, but I’m not a trained eye when it comes to these things. “I’ll take this bag! And two more of it!”
The stall pony nods, gathering up her order. Then he tells her the price. Her ears droop a little. “Oh, I thought that said fifteen...”
The stallion shook his head. “Sorry, love, it’s twenty-five. Do you want to do just a partial order?”
Derpy thinks about it for a second, bt I’m quicker on the draw. I drop a bag of bits on the counter. Apparently Canterlot’s version of ‘moderate’ is Ponyville’s idea of ‘independently wealthy’. “Nah, this’ll cover it.”
The shopkeep gives me a nod and a knowing smile, while Derpy is all smiles, giving me a hug. “Awww, thank you! I’ve been wanting to try this recipe for weeks!”
I wait for a second so she can get all her energy out. It takes more than a moment. “Well, just as long as I get to try some when they’re done.”
She nods fervently. “Of course! You can come over for dinner tomorrow!” She smiles again, fits her new purchase into her saddlebags, and waves goodbye. “Bye!”
“Of course,” I say happily, giving a small nod. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
She takes off as I wave goodbye in return, only to turn around a few moments later. “Um, it was clear I was asking you out on a date, right? That’s how you do it?”
I find myself in a rare moment of being dumbstruck. “Um...”
“Just wanted to make sure! Ok bye!”
I take a few moments while the gears in my head grind back into place, watching her fly away. “Huh. Well that’s… new.”
Dawwww! This was so cute!
What? I mean.... What? Oh, man, this is even better! Ha!
You don't.
HAH! Laughter aside, I'm glad to see Schaden getting along with Derpy.
Not used to ponies actually liking you, huh?
The outstanding line of this all too short chapter. Oh, and congratulations on the new art! Also, Derpenfreude! Woo!
... I always pictured Schadenfreude's attempts at romance being something like this...
I can see Schaden being a step-father to Dinky if this goes on.
And there we go. Schaden stumbling upon whole new ways to make ponies who know him either irritated or paranoid... Romance! The shipping is real.
I want to imagine them going on a double date, but I'm not sure with whom. Discord and silly putty only really sounds funny on the first glance.
I'm now looking forward to Twilight's reaction to Schaden having a date with Derpy.
Awww this is gonna be good. I have a feeling twilight is gonna be stalking him, making sure he dont hurt poor derpy's feelings. not that I think he really would
Derpy being Derpy just slides past Schadenfreude's natural defenses like a grey, winged cheer ninja.
8421097
WHAAAAAAAA *faints dead away*
Spike: I'll get the ice cream.
Freude: I'll grab a book.
Schadenfreude Has no idea how to react
he has likely never met anybody who is interested in him in that way
which will make this next chapter better
good
I have binged read this series and have laughed so hard that I now have a headache.
Poor Twilight... Discord + Derpy + Schadenfreude cannot end well
I just binged the whole series I need more this story is truly a work of art
I mean if there are no noise makers, he have to do with ice water, or setting fire to any butane based spray, like hair spray, or deodorant thats set on fire over her bed. Those are the most popular alternatives where I live.
Ha, well lest see where this go- wait, where's the next button?
OH GOD THERES NO NEXT BUTTON!
In all seriousness I can't wait for the next chapter.
If there's one pony that can make shaden be a proper father and break family tradition is Derpy. Go, you crazy mare, go and make shaden less of an asshole!
8421713 And that was how Equestria caught on fire...
Man, if Schaden and Derpy have a foal, it will be the cause of a new type of insurance premium. But I can see Schaden dating Derpy and wrecking unholy vengeance against anyone who messes with her or Dinky.
8421027 Not Pepé Le Pew?
8421030 Oh yes indeed.
That was sweet with Schaden and Derpy. He is like a reverse Robin Hood of Irritation: he takes from the underclass and gives liberally to the nobility!
This is sooo good. 10/10, follow, fav and put in special folder. Moar plz.
Very cute with Derpy and Schaden! Excited to see where this goes!
You know it's FANTASTIC to see someone FINALLY get one over on our Protagonist, and without even TRYING!! <3
Derpenfreude
Frudenderp
Well Shadenfreude, don't screw this one up, or all of Ponyville will just straight up murder you without remorse.
Because nobody messes with Derpy.
EVER.
9047786
Fixed that for you.
8421713
Schaderpencord
8421027
That has always been my favorite line!
I swear. Derpy is so clueless at times. But that is why we love her. Never change Derpy.
Derpy is best pony.
Absolutely getting combo'ed right here