Victims of Diamond Tiara

by Tessa

Dinky Do

Chapter 6: Dinky Do

"Hi Dinky. Can you tell me about Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?" Alons-ypony said greeting Dinky.

"Yes I can. Let me start at the beginning." Dinky said.

Diamond and Silver where playing princesses. Dinky saw and walked over to them. "Can I play to?" Dinky asked Diamond and Silver.

"No you blank-flank!" Diamond said. Dinky walked away sadly. Every day Dinky would ask to play with Diamond and Silver and their replies would get nastier and nastier. Dinky felt so alone in the great big world. After several weeks Dinky gave up. "Well Silvs another happy customer. Well done." Diamond said.

Author's Note:

Hi everypony! I was wondering if you guys could help me. I have two things. 1. Names for ponies and types of bullying. 2. I want to try and get this story up on the 'Home' page so if you know how to help with that please do. (I want everypony to know about bullying.) Thank you! ~ Tessa :3

Comments

[Battle154]

This is interesting.

[Mix-Tape Mare]

I want to try and get this story up on the 'Home' page so if you know how to help with that please do.

You mean, the "featured" box? The way to do that is to write a well-crafted story that prompts a large number of people to read it, "favorite" it, and upvote it.

Which, I'm sorry to say... this story is not. This barely even qualifies as an outline for a story. There's no detail or description of who anyone looks like, where they are, or what they're doing; the characters are nothing but cardboard cutouts without even the slightest bit of depth or motivation; and there's just nothing here to engage the reader's interest at all.

And 100-200 word chapters simply do not get the job done when it comes to telling an engaging story, love. Chapters should be in the thousands of words, not a mere couple of hundred. 200 words doesn't even make a decent blog post. (Looking over your other stories, they all have this problem, which is why almost certainly a big reason why you're getting more "dislikes" than "likes".)

Examples of well-written, engaging stories:
Pinkie Pie vs. The Souffle, by Estee
Triple-Strength, by Cirrus Tail
Light the Sky on Fire, by EquesTRON
Breaking the Sound Barrier, by SusieBecca
Past Sins, by Pen Stroke
Princess Luna and the Cotton-Candy Sugar Rush, by TheSlorg
A Taste of the Good Life, by Eakin

That is what you need to aim for if you want to make the feature box. Sorry if that seems harsh, but that's the kind of competition you're up against, and that's the standard most people are going to expect before they'll judge a story worthy of being faved and liked into the feature box.

[Tessa]

3930005
Thanks! :3

3930054
Well I'm trying my best. And that's all I can do.

[ParadoxPony]