Rarity has been struggeling with extreme Mysophobia for a while now. Choirs like decontaminating her body and mopping the entire boutique whenever she feels the need to do it, are now normal tasks for her during her everyday life.
This story may be hard to understand this for people without Mysophobia, but I would appreciate your thoughts anyway.
Picture edited by me, from Bird in the Hoof.
I don't own My Little Pony Friendship is Magic.
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Great story!!!!! I hope you go on with it!!
358020
Wow, thanks. And yes I will certainly go on with it.
Rarity being germophobe is certainly an interesting idea!
Your style is, however, a bit... well, your sentences are quite short and devoid of emotion. You know, the thing with 'showing vs. telling'? Show us more, tell us less. Also, some parts are a little repetative.
Please, don't take this as an attack: I'm trying to give constructive criticism.
You did good on this. I agree with Lucky Roll that you need to maybe put a bit more emotion to it, some grammar needs to be fixed and that it can be a little bit repetative at times too. Also the "happy - mode" thing needs to be fixed as Rarity wouldn't stand that.
Overall, it is an amazing story with an interesting concept.
You could save the more detailed chapters for later to emphasize Rarity facing her fears and overcoming them.
good story.
Thanks for the comments. I know this is amateuristic compared to some of the masterpieces on this site, but you gotta start somewhere. I'm now focusing on including more emotion and making longer sentences.
Update:
Chapter III had some small fixes regarding the spelling of some names.
The end of Chapter IV has been changed a bit, nothing major, so you don't really need to read it.
Again, my thanks to the people who follow this story.
Sorry for posting so little chapters lately. I really lack motivation is all.
I think that Rarity's mysophobia deserves its own episode. It wouldn't be as sad as this, because the show is meant for little kids, but it would be interesting.
Great fanfic!
641120
Thank you. I hope to be able to continue this some day.
641725 Please do!!! I love this fanfic.
Meh. Everything seems to be a bit too easily covered.
I understand that sweetie has her intelligent moments but the therapist idea she offered seemed a little much for her.
The title. Sweet Celestia the chapter title. I almost didn't even take a look at this chapter because of that grammar problem.
It should be Hard to Live This Way.
Otherwise it reads weird and sounds completely wrong.
I know this may sound stupid buy I'm new to Fimfiction so can somepony please tell me what "On Hiatus" means?
above average 7/10 so far.... But it's on a hiatus hope it continues.