Nyx's Redemption

by MaskedPony

Epilogue

Author's Note:

sorry if this chapter is short. It's the epilogue.

A few days have past since the what is now called “The Zelarfar war” began. Through the past days, Twilight and Lunar had time to catch up on dates they were planning. In Canterlot, a funeral was being held for the fallen new Dragon hero, Blaze whom Celestia got his will and send it to Spike. But not only that, all members of the children of the shadow were arrested and sentenced to death for treason, and various of crimes. Even at Canterlot Castle, a glass panel was installed and it showed Nyx and Dark Nyx facing down Zelarfar and Onaga.

Nyx and Dark Nyx shared their story to the whole entire class at school. To the class, even Diamond Tiara, couldn’t believe they made it out alive and took down Zelarfar and Onaga. They even showed their emblem they will hang on the balcony of the library. Cheerliee felt very happy for both of Nyx and Dark Nyx that she gave them immediate A’s in history for not only for their story, but going to the vault and seeing what Zelarfar looks like.

At the library, Twilight was in the basement. At that moment, she called Spike to the basement. As he headed in he noticed huge stash of gems in the basement, from diamonds, to emeralds, to rubies, all kinds of gems. It turned out that in his cousins will, he wanted Spike to have all of his gems. Knowing Spike, he then decided to split it and give Rarity half of the gem stash so she could make dresses.

Now, they were sitting at the table. Even Nyx and Dark Nyx were at the table also. But Dark Nyx was shedding tears. Twilight even notice. “Darkness, what’s wrong?” Twilight asked as she called Dark Nyx by her nickname Nyx came with to make it less confusing.

“I’m...I’m just happy mom. I’m free. I no longer have to fear about Onaga.”

“I’m happy for you too.”

At this point, Twilight began to wonder. She remembered Nyx only having one creator, and that was Spell Nexus when he was under the blessing of Nightmare Moon’s Shattered armor piece. But, this was new, at that point Twilight smiled at Dark Nyx. “Relax, don’t worry about anything, but for now, why don’t we just relax.”

A new foe(?)

In the now sealed vault of Zelarfar, a life form appeared in the vault. As it formed, it showed it had a torso of a pony, and a body of a dragon which showed that it was a Iponate. It then walked up to the dead body of Onaga. As it looked at the body, he checked Onagas pulse and it turned out he was actually dead. "First Dark Nyx betrayed us, and now you are dead." it said calmly.

At this point, the being stood up and looked at the remains of Zelarfar. He couldn’t believe that this happened. He then looked up at the sky and grin evily. “You may have won. But soon, this world and the parallel world will bow down to “us”.”

Comments

[MaskedPony]

5140869 I added in that reference into the fic. I had it planned to be added to the fic.

[Scootareader]

4256523

"No harm No foal. Anyway, you wonder why I summoned you?"

foul

You missed the de-capitalization of that second N.

As they were walking Twilight had her wing over Lunars back.

Lunar's

You forgot the comma after "walking."

by moderating from a distants where she can see clear.

clearly

You missed their usage of the word "distants," rather than "distance."

Just then, the approched the library.

they

Also missed "approached" there.

4260167

Twilight decided to have Nyx miss school for a couple days so she could recover from what happen, Cheerilee even allowed it. Twilight and Lunar knew Nyx would hate missing school, however due to what happen

happened

"Twilight and Lunar knew Nyx would hate missing school, however due to what happened" is still really bad English. It should be, "Twilight and Lunar knew Nyx would hate missing school; however, due to what happened."

Should also change that comma after "happened" to a semicolon.

"I am, can ask mom if she can make me a daisy daffodil sandwich? Please Tex."

can you ask

They should also be capitalizing the M in "Mom." They also need a comma after "Please."

Can you make her one, shes hungry?"

you forgot the apostrophe

You're whining about the apostrophe in a broken sentence? Also, it's, "You forgot the apostrophe."

Diamond Tiara, for the first time, hope Nyx recovers and she never knew this would of happened

I'm not sure what this is

Allow me to help, then.

Diamond Tiara, for the first time, realized how she felt. She hoped Nyx would recover. She wished Nyx would forget this had all happened. She just wanted it all to be over.

Also, you forgot the period at the end of your sentence.

As they hung out, They were wondering what Applebloom and Glowing Auroras talent would be,

"They" doesn't need to be capitalized and you forgot the apostrophe in "Aurora's"

Once again, you're missing something else that's kind of a big deal.

As they hung out, they wondered what Applebloom's and Glowing Aura's talents would be,

Wind Gust should be capitalized, if it is a name

Missed a period at the end.

You forgot the apostrophe in "Onaga's"

Missed another period. Just make sure you put it inside the quotes.

where is the-oh it is on the next line

Where is the--oh, it's on the next line.

clarify that

Clarify that.

The spell caused a look alike to come and started running around.

start

You missed the fact that "look alike" is improper as well. It should be "look-alike."

Being a half-assed "I'm so amazing at English that I can point out a handful of minor issues while still missing the entire point of editing a story" kind of commenter doesn't help the author. If you really want to edit his story for him, then actually help him edit. Don't just point out a few poorly conceived corrections, actually try to help. As it is, you don't seem to have helped much, if at all.

The one thing that irritates me more than bad grammar is people with bad grammar trying to tell other people that they have bad grammar. If you're going to try to be an editor, at least know the rules of the language you're trying to correct, lest you further prove that you're being a dick just to be a dick.