This story is a sequel to Nyx's Time with Rainbow Dash
For a long time, peace has been going on in Ponyville, however recent nightmares have been hitting Nyx hard. What's worse is that it turned out there are more children of Shadow members and they are out for revenge. What's worse, their leader wants the group that eliminated Dark Shadow dead. It's now up to Nyx, Rainbow, Nyx's family, Tex, the Mysterious Dragon Blaze, and Nyx's alter ego, Dark Nyx, to take down Onaga
Nyx belongs to Pen Stroke and this isn't a sequel/side story of the original Past Sins.
with help from Nightmare Nyx
Chapters (8)
Dropping the apostrophe is a recurring error.
with concern
foul
an area
finished
Lunar's
When
Nyx's
clearly
they
This surprised them, until Twilight remembered.
happened
can you ask
you forgot the apostrophe
I'm not sure what this is
"They" doesn't need to be capitalized and you forgot the apostrophe in "Aurora's"
Wind Gust should be capitalized, if it is a name
You forgot the apostrophe in "Onaga's"
a lone "I" should be capitalized
where is the-oh it is on the next line
clarify that
start
relieved sigh
You should really take some English writing and composition classes.
This is interesting but I want more
You just took the ending of Borderlands 2 and shoved it into your fic like a toddler trying to put the square block in the round hole. Do you even care about your story, or plot, or writing? Or is it just I PLAY VIDEO GAMES! LA LA LA. Does the fact that you just copied something matter to you at all?
5140869 I added in that reference into the fic. I had it planned to be added to the fic.
4256523
You missed the de-capitalization of that second N.
You forgot the comma after "walking."
You missed their usage of the word "distants," rather than "distance."
Also missed "approached" there.
4260167
"Twilight and Lunar knew Nyx would hate missing school, however due to what happened" is still really bad English. It should be, "Twilight and Lunar knew Nyx would hate missing school; however, due to what happened."
Should also change that comma after "happened" to a semicolon.
They should also be capitalizing the M in "Mom." They also need a comma after "Please."
You're whining about the apostrophe in a broken sentence?
Also, it's, "You forgot the apostrophe."
Allow me to help, then.
Diamond Tiara, for the first time, realized how she felt. She hoped Nyx would recover. She wished Nyx would forget this had all happened. She just wanted it all to be over.
Also, you forgot the period at the end of your sentence.
Once again, you're missing something else that's kind of a big deal.
As they hung out, they wondered what Applebloom's and Glowing Aura's talents would be,
Missed a period at the end.
Missed another period. Just make sure you put it inside the quotes.
Where is the--oh, it's on the next line.
Clarify that.
You missed the fact that "look alike" is improper as well. It should be "look-alike."
Being a half-assed "I'm so amazing at English that I can point out a handful of minor issues while still missing the entire point of editing a story" kind of commenter doesn't help the author. If you really want to edit his story for him, then actually help him edit. Don't just point out a few poorly conceived corrections, actually try to help. As it is, you don't seem to have helped much, if at all.
The one thing that irritates me more than bad grammar is people with bad grammar trying to tell other people that they have bad grammar. If you're going to try to be an editor, at least know the rules of the language you're trying to correct, lest you further prove that you're being a dick just to be a dick.
The title of this chapter reminds me of this song
I like that you stopped Celestia from making the same mistake twice.