In Which SPark Attempts to be Slightly Less Verbose.

by SPark

Hey, baby.

Pinkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!

Pinkie Pie awoke with a start, nearly falling out of bed. She lay tangled in the covers, completely disoriented. Her vision was split between seeing her own, ordinary bed and seeing the town of Ponyville going by in a blur.

She shook her head, waking enough to realize what was going on. She was alone in the bed. Sweetcake was somewhere else. He was, in fact, running through town in a panic, and his mental cry of distress was what had woken her.

Hey, calm down! What’s got you all in a tizzy?

Help! I can’t change! I’m stuck! And it’s all wrong! Sweetcake was still running, but he slowed a bit as Pinkie mentally reassured him.

Okay? What’s all wrong? Pinkie climbed out of bed as she spoke through their telepathic bond.

Me! Sweetcake seemed to be hyperventilating. He was also nearly to Sugarcube Corner, so Pinkie decided that just going out to meet him in person would be quicker and more helpful than trying to get a coherent answer out of him. She trotted downstairs and out through the shop, which was already in chaos even this early. The sun wasn’t even up yet, but the Cakes were dashing around madly. It was Hearts and Hooves day, and even if Sweetcake hadn’t woken her with his mysterious emergency, she would have been rising shortly anyway to help with the immense load of baking required.

Outside, even in the pre-dawn gloom, it was easy enough to spot Sweetcake. He was the pink pony dashing towards her at a frantic pace. But as he drew nearer, Pinkie started to notice that something was wrong. He seemed slimmer, for one. And there was something about his mane, was it longer? He skidded to a halt in front of her, and Pinkie couldn’t help but break into startled laughter.

He was a mare. Not just a mare, he was a fashion-model-gorgeous mare, with long, lustrous hair, dark eyelashes, and wide, blue eyes. His usual pink coat had lightened to a subtle shade of pinkish cream, while his hair was more of a dusty rose than his usual candy pink. He looked, in short, as much unlike himself as it was possible to look.

"It’s not funny," he wailed. "I can’t shift anymore! Help!"

"Hee." Pinkie still couldn’t help but giggle, even though she knew he really was upset. "It’s okay. Whatever it is, I’m sure we can fix it. We have Twilight and the Princess and lots of other super-smart friends. It’ll be fine! Just tell me what happened."

"I, well... I know how important Hearts and Hooves day is, and you’re my special somepony now, and I wanted to pick some flowers for you, since you’re my special somepony, so I snuck out last night to pick them, and while I was on my way back, this happened!" He gestured at himself, and Pinkie could feel his obvious distress clearly. She reached out and patted him reassuringly, while he continued. "I thought I’d just accidentally messed up my shifting, so I tried to change, but I couldn’t! I was stuck! I’ve been trying most of the rest of the night. And I still can’t!"

Pinkie cocked her head to the side, thinking. She thought about how silly he looked, and about flowers and about silly things like pogo sticks and rubber chickens and the one time that her tongue had turned all spotted and she couldn’t even talk which had been really annoying and very silly, just like this and of course! "Poison Joke!" she said, bouncing happily. She’d figured it out!

"Huh?" Sweetcake looked confused.

Pinkie bounced again. "Poison Joke likes to make people look silly and it’s a flower so I bet that’s the flower you picked!"

"Does that mean you can fix it?"

"Yepperoni!"

Sweetcake went nearly limp with relief. "Thank Celestia."

"Follow me!" Pinkie called out, and started bouncing across town. Sweetcake trotted after her through the still-silent streets until the came to the spa. The door was firmly shut, but a light inside showed that somepony was there already.

When Pinkie knocked, Aloe opened it. "Sorry, we’re not open yet, and we’re booked solid all day long," she said, without even pausing to see who it was.

"Aww. But it’s a spa emergency!"

"Sorry Pinkie, not even for emergencies." And Aloe closed the door again, while Pinkie’s mouth was still open to reply.

She scowled at the door, then turned and marched off. "Okie, dokie, lokie" she said, with more than a little annoyance creeping into her tone. Sweetcake followed, hoping that Pinkie knew somewhere else to go to fix the Poison Joke. She led the way out of town and into the Everfree forest. Sweetcake walked with caution, wincing when he caught sight of a patch of the blue flowers that had caused all this trouble.

Soon the pair reached Zecora’s house. But Pinkie didn’t even get a chance to knock there. A note was pinned to the door, reading, "Out of town, be back next week." Apparently Zecora didn’t need to rhyme in writing. Pinkie scowled at the note. "Okie, dokie, lokie," she repeated. "So the spa is closed and Zecora is gone. Twilight has a book with the cure, though, so we can still fix this."

She headed back the way she’d come, with Sweetcake still trailing hopefully behind. The sun was nearly up now, the eastern sky light with a pre-dawn glow, when they arrived at the library. Pinkie pounded on the door. A sleepy-looking Spike opened it. "Pinkie? What’s wrong?"

"Spike! Where’s Twilight?"

"She isn’t here."

"What?!"

"She’s visiting Canterlot, she had some project that needed books we don’t have here, so she went to borrow them from the royal library. She'll be back tomorrow."

"Arrrrgh!" Pinkie stood there, huffing with frustration, as Spike went wide-eyed and stepped back from the door.

"It’s okay," said Sweetcake soothingly to her. He’d gotten over his initial shock a bit by this time. "We can fix this later, when the spa isn’t so busy, or when Zecora gets back, or when Twilight returns, right?"

***

So that’s what happened, you see? I’m not new here, and no, I won’t go out with you, I have a marefriend, and tomorrow this will all be over. And please, don’t call me baby.

Author's Note:

The last of last week's PPPE shorts, prompt by Crescent Quill. (Though I took some liberties with his initial idea, which was to have the poison joke cut Sweetcake's bond with Pinkie. I thought it would be funnier if it removed his ability to shape-shift and put him in a pony form he would never have chosen on his own.)

Comments

[PhycoKrusk]

Ha!

[Nyerguds]

That last line totally makes this one

[SPark]

4969066 A little bit of personal experience speaking there.

[BenRG]

Of course, Pinkie is going to have to deal with the Ponyville rumour mill about her having a 'marefriend'. "And where's the Changeling gone? Did she finally wise up and kill it?"

Poison Joke is no joke, IMHO. More interestingly, I'll bet that a Changeling's biochemistry is different enough that the normal antidote won't work.

[Themaskedferret]

I'm a bit baffled by the ending paragraph, but the rest of it's great fun.

[SPark]

5581414 The ending is implying that he's still at work at Sugarcube Corner on Hearts and Hooves Day, having to deal with customers, who are hitting on him relentlessly.