Turquoise "T" Blitz, the son of Rarity and Spike, and Anthea "Annie", Fluttershy's adopted daughter, have been friends for a long time. Now, they're getting married, but Nidra, the Princess of Slumber, has had a crush on T for quite awhile as well, and she's not taking this lying down. Instead, she forces everypony else to take it lying down by casting a powerful sleep spell right before the couple takes their vows. Her mother is forced to intervene, but can Princess Luna teach her daughter what love is really about?
*Based on the Kilala97 Next Gen.
*Cover art by Kilala97.
Chapters (1)
Ehhh.... the story is written well, no doubt about that, but the moral really bothers me. Nidra backs off because she can still get what she wants, not because she respects T's decision. I know love makes you do crazy things, but as far as she was willing to go?
It really does not sit well with me that Nidra never has the epiphany of love not being forced, and accepting love as it is. Maybe she did learn it, but her change in demeanor happened when Luna reminded her that Anthea would die well before T would. If you intended to portray Nidra learning to accept their love, then it was overshadowed by her initial remark.
It isn't a bad story, but it does kind of leave a bad taste in my mouth with how you played Nidra.
Nevertheless, I'm giving in a thumbs up and placing it in the appropriate groups. It's nice to see someone else writing stories for this fandom.
-Lumino
Good job, bro. I welcome you to the kilala writer's club with open arms. Oh, and a like too.
3843005
It was kind of my intention to write her backing off as being selfishly motivated and the answer to the question posed in the description actually being "no." I see her from reading the description in her bio and her frankly opportunistic hitting on T in the story after Annie's death as being a bit spoiled, and her acceptance does come from that somewhat morbid viewpoint. She does come off as distasteful, yes, but I kind of like that about her. Anyway, I feel like if she does learn what love really is, it's going to be closer to Annie's death than after one conversation with her mom (I might even write that story, too). However, I did hope to show that now she can at least let herself be more open and friendly with Annie now that she doesn't view her as a rival, which may set her on the right path to learning that lesson.
3843006
Thanks. You saved me the trouble of making that group myself, which I was actually planning to do the very same day you did it.
Nice king of the hill reference.
3843314
Ha, I couldn't help myself. It doesn't even make sense, but then again Discord is her uncle in this universe.
Good Story. Shows a jelous girl and Luna in a fight. Great job. I hope you next story is as good.
3843364
Hopefully. I do try. I kind of liked to portray Nidra and Luna like this because it really shows how Luna has grown from her own days of jealousy which led to Nightmare Moon. In this case she helps her daughter avoid it, even if it's not exactly the way she intended.
Amazeballs.
3843590
Hahahaha-hiss-change the rules.
I'll read this in a bit. The use of the qoutation from Corinthians 13 is either going to please me greatly or make me go eh at you aggressively or something
3844501
Y'know, I actually never liked that verse. Kinda unrealistic description of the disease, if you ask me, but it kind of fit the basic idea. Feel free to eh as much as you like, though, I can meh right back with the best of 'em.
3844956
That's when you know it's true love.
Wow, this is slowly making its way up the popular stories list. Two more slots will put it in the Featured Box. You fools! You're only playing into my hands, can't you see that?
3846000
Sorry to burst your bubble, but the popular box is in no particular order. It cycles with every refresh.
-Lumino
3846715
That would explain why it makes no sense.
soooo apart from nidra not really learning anything at all, i only have one question:
why does luna's speaking revert to "old style" after being hit by nidra's laser blasts? like, the entire time she speaks normal everyday english, but suddenly she switches to "thou","yon", etc. any particular reason?
3850515
In-universe explanation: getting electrocuted shocked her enough that she reverted to old speaking habits. Out-of-universe explanation: I wanted an excuse to make a Joseph Ducreax type joke.
Luna just owned Nid.
Surprised we didn't see Rarity or Spike crying during the wedding scene at the end.
If I read the story you based Nid off of correctly, it had actually been some time since Anthea had passed, at least a few years.
3877404
The Sparity fan in me wanted to give Spike and Rarity some "screentime," as t'were, but I was trying to keep it as focused as possible, aside from the reference to Clairllusion which I almost didn't include.
Yeah, Annie's death was some time ago in Kilala's story, though I would say recent enough that the wound is still fresh. I assumed no more than five years. Given that Spike would still seal himself off inside a cave on the anniversary of Rarity's death which was probably decades before Annie's, that would probably still feel pretty fresh to T.
I'm glad that Nidra made the right choice in the end she did love T.
3883684
Well, she only has to wait another sixty or seventy years, no big.
who is nidra's father?
3975708
It's one of the unnamed bat-ponies in Luna's guard. So far Kilala hasn't really fleshed him out.
3976020 I figured as much
Onto the read later list it goes.
Oh my goodness, I swear! Even though I run on a different head cannon universe than this next generation story, we must function at the same level (shipping wise).
You had:
-Celesticord
-Sparity
-amazingly accurate (to my head cannon for this story) heir shippings
And also, I love the fact that Snips is the one marrying T to Annie. I understand this!
By the way... That line "give up their ghost" I understand it, but I have only heard it from a particular group of people. Are you LDS? If that means nothing to you, ignore that statement.
Any way awesome story!!!
It reminds me of how MLP is just...awesome!
4141445
Glad you liked it. I'm not LDS though I've been friends with several who are. "Give up the ghost" is actually a phrase I've heard quite often, so I wasn't aware of it being particular to any group.
And from that day forward, every day she visits the two of them and goes: "Heya, is Anthea STILL alive? Alright, just wanted to check."
This is quite sweet!! I love how well you had Luna and Nidra resolve their dispute, it worked very well.
And now I'm picturing Celestia and Discord having a slap-slap-kiss style relationship...
4376150
I definitely view any kind of relationship between them as consisting of much ball-busting on both sides.
26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmoznxIonq1qf7ohqo1_500.gif
4718416
Haha, because she's literally blind.
I give this story a good 7/10
5175086
I can accept that.
I started crying half-way through it.
5216908
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/141/197/ba8.jpg
I can really relate to Nidra here.of course, it wasn´t my friend who "steal" him.heck,I don´t even know the girl who "steal" him! but I still enjoy seeing that I´m not the only one who constantly says to herself "HE´S NOT THE ONLY FISH IN THE WATER! STOP CRYING AND BE HIS FRIEND!" I love this story, I love this characters
The message is awful and Nidra is even more awful. I love it. You captured Kilala's characterization of Nidra so well.
5391284
5393429
I like the respective cuts of your gibs.
5395757 thanks....I think.
I may not be as powerful as you or aunt Celestia or even my royal cousins, but I'm still an alicorn princess." She looked back at the sleeping bride and groom with a tight smirk. "I can ensure that their sleep... will last... forever."
A sigh escaped Luna's lips even as her gaze turned to steel. "Daughter. I'm afraid if you won't listen to reason... I shall have to subdue you, myself." Her horn flickered to life and she approached her daughter with purposeful steps.
Nidra backed away, her own alicorn magic burbling to life in black and gold as the whites of her eyes turned green. "You can't stop me. You think you're so great?"
"Young lady!" Luna barked, fury seeping through her stoic visage. "I have obviously been too light-hooved in your upbringing. To brandish such magic against me..."
A harsh laugh burned from Nidra's throat as her mane whipped above her and mottled light shone from her eyes and horn. "You haven't seen anything, yet, Mother. My fury gave me the power to put all of Ponyville to rest. Now I'll use it to try something else I've never done: shroud you and all of Equestria in slumber eternal!" Her mane exploded into a starry nebula, much like her mother's, as she fired her spell.
Like mother like daughter How does NIghtmare Nidra sound?
5882654
Could go that route, but since Nightmare Moon was basically English for Luna, I feel it would be interesting to do something similar for Nidra. My favorites are Nightmare Slumber and Nightmare Lullaby.
Hmm... Nightmare Somnia? As in insomnia, lack of sleep. Nightmare Nidra works too. My unicorn OC, Cortina, used too much dark magic and got her own nightmare form. Even though NM isn't her mom, she would be so proud! I called her Nightmare Shade, as Cortina is Spanish for shade.
FML BRUH Y U DO DIS TO ME THE FEELS.
This story was recommended to me as an introduction to Nidra. I hope I was not meant to like her, though, because she comes off like a spoiled brat. :V
7309528 As the author, and the OC's creator, points out, that's exactly what she is.
7334740
Now I want to see her become the Nightmare-fueled villain Equestria needs...
You can has review!
3845016
For romantic love (the "disease")? Yes, it is inaccurate.
For Agape? It is the definition, by the creator of the concept.