The Minotaur, the Princess and the Train Tracks

by Beware The Carpenter

7 - What a Woman Wants

Cadance trotted merrily through the town center; completely unperturbed by the fact that she had absolutely no idea where she was going. She took the time to enjoy the sunshine, look around and plan her next moves.

Years ago, Shining had shown her Twilight’s first letter after coming to Ponyville, telling him about her new friends. At the time Cadance had made plans to visit them; but things kept coming up and the goal was gradually deferred. When Rarity and Rainbow Dash moved to Canterlot, Cadance resolved again to try and get to know at least two of Twilight’s friends but that also fell through. Rainbow Dash was always too busy training with The Wonderbolts and Rarity… fell.

Cadance had been to a couple of Rarity’s shows and watched as the aspirant fashionista cut and tailored everything she did and said into the molds of the ponies around her. Cadance had seen the same thing happen to other ponies who gained overnight fame; and it didn’t surprise her when Rarity started acting no different from her brother Blueblood and his cronies, what had surprised her was, how little time it took.

Growing up in Oatlantis; Cadance had secretly maintained a ring of friends with the proletariat that had protected her from being infected by the den of snobbery around her; and she had made it a point to not learn to exude the strict, secretive display of authority of her parents. This wasn’t the first time that someone had mistaken Cadance for a servant, nor was it the first time Cadance had gone along with it. She had always enjoyed a good prank, and been good at acting. She’d pull on the charade for as long as she could, have a good laugh and teach Rarity a thing or two. Hopefully Twilight wouldn’t mind.

Finding the town center for the third time, Cadance finally what looked like an ice-cream parlor and trotted in. She was already ‘late’ compared to a ‘good’ servant who knew the area and Cadance made a mental note to forget the crushed walnuts and strawberry icing on Rarity’s cone. Rarity’s reaction when she learned who she was would be more interesting.

The store interior was standard for most small towns, clean and vacant except for herself, and three cute fillies who were surrounding a large minotaur, who they were whispering to in hushed tones; probably pestering him to buy them something. The earth pony pointed in Cadance’s direction, the minotaur glanced at her and then shook his head causing the little pegasus to give him a light kick in her direction. The minotaur stumbled towards her, caught his balance, began humming some foreign tune, did a back flip, summer saluted into the air, by-passed Cadance and crashed into a set of tables on the other side of the store.

Cadance walked by very slowly and placed her order with the shop assistant while the owner berated the minotaur and picked up the fallen chairs and table. “Here, allow Iron Will to buy that for you.” The minotaur was suddenly beside her, leaning over her actually, laying a fistful of bits onto the counter.

“That’s OK, thank you.” Said Cadance uncomfortably.

“No-no Iron Will insists; it’s no trouble at all buying cones for a mare as beautiful as you, even if it is three cones, it's noce to see someone with an appetite, not that you have a problem with your weight of course, you’re perfect just the way you are; but of course I’d still buy you the ice-cream even if you were fat, because I’m not interested in you just for your body; but not because its fat, it’s not, really it’s… beautiful.”

“…Keep the change” Cadance said to the store assistant before glancing to the minotaur, “Have a nice day, goodbye.”

“Wait!” Cadance’s swift retreat to the door was countered by a s swifter block by the three fillies, “You can’t leave yet; not until you promise to be Iron Will’s marefriend!”

“Yes I can.” Cadance shook her wings out from under her tunic, jumped over the fillies and tried to fly for it, but the unicorn filly jumped forwards and latched herself to Cadance’s foreleg bringing her to the ground.

“But if you don’t help him, Iron Will’s brother is going to kill him! Iron Will does the best assertiveness seminars in Ponyville, the only reason he’s in danger now is because he wouldn’t kill Spike, and then he saved the three of us from a bunch of angry pigs. You gotta help him out!”

Cadance paused, and turned carefully; the storekeeper was doing his best to pretend he wasn’t seeing anything, Iron Will was standing a few yards off, not exactly looking threatening, “What does this have to do with Spike?”

Iron Will started talking, slowly at first, then picking up pace as he covered having fled some battle against a dragon as a young minotaur, his brother’s quest for honor killing him, deciding not to kill Spike, his plan to survive, and his failed attempts to recruit a mare so far trailing off with a vague description of being attacked by some kind of zebra-vampire-witch- leviathan… thing.

“You're brother wouldn't happen to be dark red and wearing a heavy gray cloak made out of animal furs on it, would he?” Iron Will nodded, “He's outside.” said Cadance softly, watching Iron Will tense up in a way she knew wasn't acting, “I saw him there when I came in; watching the store like he was waiting for something. I don't think he can see us now, but he will as soon as we leave the store.”

Iron Will swallowed hard; “Will you help me?”

“OK.” Cadance surprised herself with how quickly she had taken to Iron Will’s plan. While it was true Cadance usually tried to help people who asked for it, somehow the pleading fillies had convinced her that he deserved it and… it was nice to be needed. “So how do you suggest we fake your death?”

“Iron Will… hadn’t thought that far ahead. My brother will be hard to convince; if I leave a body he will check my pulse and I don’t know if there’s anything in Ponyville my brother will believe was dangerous enough to kill a minotaur.”

“Twilight could do it.”

“Who?”

“The librarian. She’s one of Celestia’s personal students; she’s been trained as a combat mage and once defended Ponyville from an Ursa Minor.” Cadance thought, “She’s also capable of teleporting, very few unicorns can do that so your brother wouldn’t expect it, and she has a large basement underneath her library. If you were to pretend to fight her in front of her library, she could teleport you to her basement, make an explosion where you had been standing, and make Stone Resolve think you’d been vaporized. All we need is a reason for you to pretend to fight her.”

“Would she be willing to help us?” asked Iron Will excitedly, “Is she any good at acting.”

Cadance thought for a brief second as memories of Twilight’s fanatical attempts to pair her with Shiny as a filly, always pretending she had nothing to do with the coincidences that arose any time the three of them found themselves together, “No, she can't act.”

“What if… Iron Will were to challenge her to confrontation in public, raise her to anger, and then once she has accepted my challenge to a duel in front of her house, you can tell her to truth on the way. Stone Resolve will be looking for signs of me trying to escape, so any large commotion should draw his attention quickly, but that means once we start arguing we will have to just go with whatever happens. Is there anything I could do that would make her hate me enough she’d act as though she wanted to kill me?”

“…I can think of something.” There was a flash of purple from outside the window, Twilight emerged from it and began galloping into the store. Cadance might be angry at Shining Armor, but Twilight hadn’t done anything wrong, was Cadance really going to do this to her, on her birthday no less?

Yes.