How My Life Got Flipped Turned Upside Down
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie sprinted across the field. “Come on. We can’t let them catch us,” Dash said. Behind them, far off in the distance, were two stallions in security uniforms charging at them. The sound of their hoofsteps grew closer by the second. In front of Dash was a bush next to one of the many roads on the outskirts of Ponyville. “There. Quickly.” Dash and Pinkie made the final push to the bush, giving it their all, and jumped in. The hoofsteps of the stallions drew closer and stopped in front of the bush. They were so close that Dash could hear their sweat drip and hit the grass below. She held her breath and stuffed her hoof up Pinkie’s mouth. Pinkie didn’t fight back.
“Where’d those two go? They have to be here somewhere,” one of the stallions said. His hooves couldn’t have been more than an inch away from the bush. Dash contorted her body to better fit inside.
“I don’t know man. Don’t see em,” the other said. He stomped the ground and growled. “Let’s just go back. We probably would’ve gotten fired anyway.”
They both ran away from the bush. Within seconds all sound of them was gone. Dash lifted her head out of the bush. The stallions were now nearing Ponyville and yelled at each other. “Suckers,” Dash said. She chuckled. “Come on out Pinkie. The coast’s clear.”
Pinkie dug underneath the bush and came out of the ground. She spit out some dirt and worms. Dash didn’t react. Seeing Pinkie do things like this was normal for her by now—too normal actually. She chuckled. “Now was that a prank or what? Told you we’d do it, and boy did we do it,” Dash said.
Pinkie laughed and jumped in place. “And don’t forget about how fun it was. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time. We should do this every morning.”
Dash was lost in thought, reliving the prank. The fact that it was all over nearly brought a tear to her eye, but she had no regrets. “You having any luck getting Mayor Mare’s face out of your head? Cuz I sure as heck can’t. Not that I’m complaining though.” Memories of the prank came flooding back and Dash collapsed to the ground. The barrage of laughter caused her stomach to cramp. She reveled in the pain. “I didn’t even think it was possible for a pony to get that mad.”
Pinkie stopped laughing. She frowned. “You don’t think we hurt her feelings though? I don’t want her to get sad because of what we did.” There was a genuine concern in her voice.
“Naa,” Dash said. “The mayor’s a big girl; she can handle it. I just hope she doesn’t kick us out of town though.” She took a deep breath and stood still with her eyes shut. Mayor Mare’s face was out of her system, or at least as much as it’d ever be. Dash put on her serious face. “But enough about the past. It’s time to focus on the future. Pinkie Pie, bring out…” She paused for dramatic effect. “The List.”
Pinkie looked around. “Hmm. Now where’d I put that?” She paused for a second. “Oh yeah.” Pinkie dug through the ground and came back with a rolled up piece of paper in her mouth.
“You’re pushing it Pinkie,” Dash said.
“Sorry.”
Pinkie spat out the paper and allowed it to stretch out on the ground. It stretched across the road to a nearby tree. Dash walked to it. The List had the names of what had to have been every resident of Ponyville and beyond. It even had names like Princess Luna and Discord. Some of them were crossed out, while others were circled with red marker. Dash turned to Pinkie. “So tell me. Who’s our next victim?”
Pinkie ran to the end of the List and picked it up. “Let’s see…” She began reading. Ooh. What about Cheerilee?”
Dash reviewed a plan of attack for Cheerilee in her mind. “Naa. I just can’t see it being that funny. Trust me, I know my stuff.”
“Okay…” Pinkie went down the List. “What about…Lyra?”
“Done it already,” Dash said.
“Cloudkicker?”
Dash growled. “Come on Pinkie, give me a good one. Think big. It’s gotta be somepony that deserves to be graced by one of my pranks. I don’t just prank anypony ya know.”
“Hear you loud and clear,” Pinkie said. She continued reading. “And I think I got just what you’re looking for. I know you’re going to love this one.” Dash listened with suspense. Choosing always was the hardest part.
“Twist,” Pinkie said.
“What?” Dash screamed. The birds and animals all evacuated the area. Dash felt like facehoofing until her skull cracked. “Really Pinkie? Of all the ponies you could’ve picked you pick Twist?”
Pinkie frowned so hard that it actually scared Dash. Tears formed in her eyes and she hung her head. She didn’t say anything, but instead moved further down the List. “What about Twilight?”
Dash paused. She reviewed the plan of attack for Twilight. The options, the possibilities—it brought her to tears—the beauty of it all. Dash rubbed her hooves together and let out an evil laugh that would’ve scared Sombra. She ran to Pinkie and embraced her with full force. “You sure know how to pick em Pinkie.” She dropped her and stared into space. “I can see it now. I ‘ve always wanted to prank Twilight big.”
“Oh really?”
Dash froze. There was no mistaking that voice or where it’d come from. Dash lifted her head. Twilight hovered over them. Her hooves were crossed and she did not look happy. “How long have you been there?” Dash said.
Twilight began her descent. “Long enough.” She touched the ground and walked to Pinkie and Dash, stepping right over the List. “Where have you two been? I’ve been looking all over for you guys. Don’t you know how late you are?”
Dash and Pinkie looked at each other in silence. “Late for what?” Dash said.
Twilight stomped the ground and growled. “Are you two serious?”
Dash and Pinkie gave a blank stare.
“Why am I even surprised? Princess Celestia is visiting today. That ring any bells?” Twilight said.
Dash and Pinkie gave the same blank stare.
“She wanted all of us to meet her at Sugarcube Corner at noon sharp.”
Dash and Pinkie’s faces were unchanged.
“Seriously?” Twilight yelled. “I reminded all of you thirty-seven times yesterday. I counted.”
Pinkie’s face began to show movement. “Oh I remember now. I baked a cake for it and everything. And it was thirty-eight times, not thirty-seven.”
Dash was still lost in thought. She was unsure if she had forgotten or had just not paid attention to Twilight the day before. Knowing herself, it was probably the latter, but that didn’t mean she was going to admit it. She smirked. “Alright then. So what did we miss? I mean it must’ve been something important if the Princess wanted us there at noon sharp.”
“Well, actually…” Twilight tilted her head down. “She isn’t here yet.” Twilight lifted it back up with an angry look on her face. “But you’re still late.”
“Relax,” Dash said. She put her hoof over Twilight’s body. “Like you said, the Princess ain’t here yet. So what’s the problem? We’ll be there.”
Twilight just stared at Dash with the same angry look. “Just hurry up and get there.” She took off from the ground and flew away. Dash and Pinkie watched as she disappeared from view.
“We better get going then. You heard Twilight. We don’t wanna be late,” Pinkie said. Dash turned around so fast that her back nearly snapped off. She shot towards Pinkie.
“Y-You’re leaving?” Dash shook from excitement and smiled. She tried to control herself but found herself bouncing around like Pinkie.
“Yeaaah,” Pinkie said. “The visit sounded super important, and I can’t just let all that cake go to waste. What kind of pony would that make me? Aren’t you going?”
“No.” Dash titled her head away from Pinkie. “I…uh have things to do. You know, pegasus stuff.”
Pinkie didn’t look like she bought it. She gave Dash a piercing glare and moved her head towards Dash’s. Dash moved her head back and put up the best smile she could. Sweat dripped from her face and she made sure not to look Pinkie in the eye.
“Okey dokey then,” Pinkie said. Her face had returned to normal in an instant, smile and all. Dash sighed with relief and wiped away the sweat from her forehead. Pinkie merrily skipped away and bobbed her head from side to side. “See you at the party then. Don’t be late or all the cake’ll be gone.”
“Wait,” Dash screamed at the top of her lungs. The scream was so loud that it scared the birds out of their trees a mile away. Pinkie stopped and turned around. “What path are you taking?” Dash struggled to keep a straight face.
“Path? I just usually skip around through the fields. Sometimes I don’t even go in a straight line and end up who knows where. Those are the really fun days,” Pinkie said.
Dash’s mind went into overdrive. She thought for a few seconds and gave a warm and comforting smile. “But you don’t wanna be late do you? If you go through the fields you’ll be wasting time, time you could spend at the party, and I’d hate for that to happen. Take the east path to Ponyville.” Dash pointed to it. “Trust me; it’s the fastest by far.”
Pinkie smiled. “You really are a good friend Rainbow Dash. I know I can always count on you.” She bounced away towards the east path, one of the many roads that connected Ponyville to the rest of Equestria.
“Remember. The east path,” Dash shouted. She waved goodbye until Pinkie went out of view. With Pinkie gone she let out an evil laugh, one even more terrifying than the last. She took out a rolled up piece of paper and stretched it on the ground. It was titled The REAL List in bigger letters than the other one and had only one name written on it, circled over a dozen times in dark red—Pinkie Pie. Dash looked up at the sky and felt a thrill not even racing could give her. “Time for the best prank ever.”
---------------------------------------------------------
Dash flew over the east path and looked down at the scenery below her. She twisted her head in every direction and slowed down to a near hover. “Come on, Pinkie’ll be here any second. Where’d I put it?” Below her was a sea of bushes and trees, all indistinguishable from each other down to the leaf. Dash focused on every one of them and tried to remember which one was her destination. There was one that seemed familiar, a series of tall bushes and a tree that covered them from the top. Dash accelerated to it.
“Got it,” she said. She skipped the celebrations and touched down, going through the tree and behind the bushes. A box stood in front of her. It was almost as big as the tree and was hidden by the vegetation around it. Dash pushed it onto the road, going around the bushes. With the box in the center of the path she sighed and patted herself on the back. She kicked it, and the box split on all four edges and opened up from the top. Inside, and now the only thing in the area that wasn’t green or dirt, was a cake twice the size of Dash. On it was written The Best Cake Ever, and from one look at it anypony could tell that it was worthy of the title. Its pure white frosting, its artisan level decorations, even the candles on top—everything about it was on a level that could drive anypony into a frenzy of temptation. Even the wedding cake of Princess Cadence and Shining Armor looked like a sloppy mess compared to it. Dash wasn’t tempted in the least, or even made hungry by it. She just stared at it and chuckled with the same evil tone as before. “And so it begins,” she said.
Humming came from the road. There was no doubt in Dash’s mind to who it was. She jumped into the bushes that had before hidden the box and held her breath. The humming grew louder by the second and its voice more distinctive. Dash stuck her head out of the bush. On the far side of the road, opposite from Ponyville, was Pinkie Pie, skipping along towards her. Pinkie’s eyes were closed and she bobbed her head from side to side, no doubt lost in her own little world. Dash brought her head back inside. “Perrrfect.”
Dash reached deeper into the bush and pulled out a remote with a big red button on it. “Sorry Pinkie, but you had this coming for a while now. That’s what happens when you mess with the master.” She kissed it. “I can see it now. Pinkie’ll see the cake on the ground and won’t be able to control herself. She’ll go right for it. And then, just as she takes the first bite…BOOM! She’ll be so sad that she’ll never get to taste the world’s best cake. It’ll drive her crazy.” Dash pressed her hooves against her cheeks and squeed. “It’s gonna be so awesome.” For a second she felt a sense of guilt at what she about to do. She brushed it off though. It was just a prank.
“I do feel like an egghead after having to read so many books to make all this though.” Dash chuckled. “Not like I wouldn’t do it again.” She stuck her head out again. Pinkie was closer, now less than a hundred feet away. Dash disappeared back into the bush and tightened her grip on the remote. Her hoof on the button shook. She closed her eyes. Pinkie grew closer with every passing second. Dash put more pressure on the button and waited for the perfect moment to strike. Thoughts raced in her head. A million voices told her to just do it, and a million others told her to stick with the plan and wait. Her whole body shook with anticipation.
A gust of wind blew through the bush. It knocked Dash back a few inches, but she gave it no attention. The only things in her universe were the button, the cake and the sound of Pinkie’s hoofsteps. The wind stopped, and a second later the sound of clanging metal and what had to have been rocks shattering came from in front of the bush. It almost caused Dash to press the button, but she snapped out of it and reminded herself of the plan.
Hoofsteps now came from in front of the bush. They sounded different than Pinkie’s, as they were too organized and heavier, but that could’ve just been due to Pinkie eyeing and drooling over the cake. Dash put more pressure on the button. The steps got closer to the cake and stopped. The voices in Dash’s mind spoke up again and all said one thing. “That’s it. I can’t take it anymore,” Dash said. She pressed the button.
The explosion nearly rocked Dash out of the bush. It was as loud as a bomb, and from the force of it just as strong. Dash pictured Pinkie’s face and laughed with her mouth shut. She pictured Pinkie on the ground, confused and trying to lick the cake off the ground in desperation. Dash couldn’t wait any longer to see the fruits of her master plan. She jumped out of the bush. “Ha. Got ya.”
Dash’s heart dropped. She collapsed to the ground as the scene around her came into focus. Cake gunk was everywhere, and in the middle of it all—covered from head to hoof—was Princess Celestia and her royal guards.
Hope you all liked the story 
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The title of the chapter kinda reminds me of the fresh prince of bell air
"I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I got banished by Celestia."
It doesn't really rhyme but it doesn't sound that bad... does it?
did you need both of those?
but other than that, it is good, It kept me guessing and engaged. I am surprised this is your first story on Fimficion. I want you to know I am adding this to my favorites, and that I do not take my favorite's list lightly.
I hope to read more of this.
Good story :)
I wouldn't be that worried. Celestia seems like the kind of pony who can take a joke.
4073815
That's EXACTLY what I thought of first. /] brohoof?
Anyways, this was pretty funny. How'd Pinkie get past the cake though, Pinkie Sense?
4073957
Ah but you forget, she just destroyed the best cake ever. Right in front of Celestia before she even got to take a bite.
Not to mention I think the guards are going to be a bit pissed off, due to a BOMB exploding right next to their charge.
well... you done screwed up now dash! can't wait to see celestias reaction, wonder if shes gonna troll the heck out of dash?
Oh my god... Dash... You're dead...
Oh, so you think YOU'RE the prank master, my little Dashie? We shall see about that once Trollestia takes control -insert evil laugh here-
4073957
It wouldn't be surprised if the story ends up being just Dash worrying over being banished revenge pranked etc. for days thanks to Twilight's overreacting while Celestia is just back in Canterlot going: meh.
After all, the best prank is usually the one that is always feared, but never comes.
TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
4074126 The Doctor, IS FABULOUS.
You done goofed, Dash.
4074238 he is so. So. SO. SO. FABULOUS!!!!!
4074305 9 Doctor is Best Doctor.
4074307 None of them were really bad (except maybe 7...) but I personally love Matt Smith. The hipster Doctor who merely longed for a fez is the only Doctor for me. But don't get me started ;)
4074323 Fezzes are cool, 3-D glasses are twenty percent cooler, and Bad Wolf is li- BOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!!!!
(brain explodes from the awesomeness that is Rose Tyler)
4074339 Rose...I was always more of an Amy person.
Oh snap...
4074360
Come along, Ponds!
Nothing is ever truly forgotten, not really.
Your Scottish! Fry something!
Geronimo!
This isn't what it looks like.
Bow ties are cool.
All of time and space; everywhere and anywhere; every star that ever was.
Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall.
I'm the Doctor; I'm worse than everybody's aunt!
Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically...run.
Hello, sweetie.
Yeah? Well, it's boring now, isn't it? They're boring-ers! They're blue... boring-ers!
We have no need of comfy chairs.
I like the bit when someone says "It's bigger on the inside!" I always look forward to that.
The question of the hour is, "Who's got the Pandorica?"
It's a fez. I wear a fez now.
Because if I was climbing out of the window, I'd be going in the wrong direction. Pay attention.
4074360 I pulled all of those out my ass, by the way. BTW: 9 is still Best Doctor!
4074360
Finally, someone who agrees with me!
*intrudes on conversation, awkwardly looks around and slinks back into shadows*
Matt Smith is best Doctor.
4074408 you have made my day
4074410 *breaks fourth wall and hugs through screen*
Play it cool, Dash -- you MEANT to do that. Don't run. I mean Celestia WAS on your list, you just got to her sooner than expected.
I'M THE 80th LIKE!! NEEL BEFORE ME BITCHES!!!
4073957
But the guards aren't.
4074425
I like you. Consider yourself followed.
Oh dear... Well,I hope you like the moon Dashie, BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING THERE!
*pow*
*zoom*
4074410 You are a Fucktard. Class dismissed.
4074534
jpegy.com/images/uploads/2012/05/you-amuse-me-i-will-kill-you-last.jpg
roxanegay.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/at-me-bro-you-come.jpeg
4074558 M'kay. Fine then. I'm coming at you, bro.
I'm sorry, the TARDIS doesn't seem to translate stupid.
Yo mama is so ugly, the Silents try to forget HER.
Yo mama so fat, she's the new Adipose breeding planet.
Yo mama is so useless, even K-9 calls her, "The Tin Dog."
The only thing I've seen uglier than you is your mum!
Yo mama is so dumb, she thinks time is strict progression of cause to effect.
Yo mama is so stupid, when she had termites, she called the Daleks to exterminate them.
Actually, the most impressive thing about you is that after all this time, you're still bone-dead stupid.
(Beat THAT, Fucktard!)
TO THE MOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh hell. Well, there is only one thing to do now...
4074605
This should be "Silence".
If you're going to insult me, please spell your aliens correctly.
4073984
how about:
"I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how Celestia kicked my derriere"
PRANK WAR!!!!!
4074638 The "Silence" is a cult, not a species. Their species doesn't even have a name, but they have no mouths, hence, SILENT. You get your shit right.
(Who's stupid now, dumbass? (Don't believe me? Go to the TARDIS Data Core.))
4074711
But plural for "Silent" is still Silence.
And stop calling me that. That's just plain rude.
4074717 You can't use "Silence" twice! No one would know which is which!
(Stop being a Fucktard, and I'll stop calling you a Fucktard.)
4073815
The chapter title actually is based off the song for Fresh Prince. Such a great show.
4074484 Yay! Consider yourself to be followed as well, mate!
4073861
Fixed the error. Thanks for pointing it out.
And thanks for the kind words. Means a lot.
4074471 I like Moffat, his stories are intricate and riveting, they make you think, but be warned, mortal, he is indeed merely one HELL of a troll. As for Doctor number 7...meh his stories weren't very good.
4074605 the irony is how many David Tennant and Matt smith references you used while trying to defend your opinion of Doctor number nine to be the best
4074724 EVERYONE SHUT UP ABOUT FUCKTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!
@everyone
Thanks for reading and liking the story. I'm surprised so many of you liked it. This being my first story I thought it was going to be downvoted into oblivion lol.
And for the people who favourited this.
THANKS!!!
I'd thank all of you individually, but at this moment there are 105 of you lol.
Bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush...and bush.
Thesaurus?
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iqan8XR9hvQ/TWVS_qtsaXI/AAAAAAAAAvA/nXJsxMhBgAE/s1600/what_the_fuck3.jpg
i had this in my meme section of my bookmark library. i figured it would work perfectly.