What's New Pussycat?
“Mom?”
“Huh?”
Rainbow Dash looked up from her book at Temporal Spectrum, as Tank sat on her head.
“I have a question about you and dad.”
“What is it?”
“How did you and dad meet?”
Rainbow Dash blinked before slamming the book shut and sitting up.
“You wanna know? Well it started like this….”
---
“I can’t believe that you followed me here,” Rarity rolled her eyes as she and Rainbow Dash entered the restaurant. Both mares were clad in dresses that matched the fancier outfits of the other occupants.
“You said you were going to meet someone that I’d like to know,” Dash shot back, “So I came along.”
“That was not an invitation.” Rarity huffed.
“Whatever, they still took my reservation.” The pegasi shrugged.
“How do you even have the money to do that?”
“I got my ways,” Dash chuckled as the fashionista rolled her eyes. The two ponies separated as their waiters lead them to their tables.
“I’m still waiting for my date,” Rarity explained as she took her seat, “He should be here soon.”
“I understand, Madame.” The waiter nodded.
Across the room, Rainbow Dash continued to flip through her menu, her confusion mounting as she read the names of the items on the list.
“…So uh…What’s Pela?”
“Potatoes, Onions and Rebloncha cheese,” her waiter informed her; “You fry the potatoes and onions and lay the cheese on top. As it melts, it spreads across the dish.”
“…So it’s like really fancy Cheese Fries?”
The waiter’s mouth twitched at the comparison, “…Of a sort.”
“Cool, I’ll take it…” Dash’s eyes flickered back to the menu, “What’s a Brushitta?”
“Its pronounced Bru-sketta, and it is toasted bread with Olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper. You have a choice of tomato and basil or mozzarella.” The waiter continued on.
“Can it get both on one?”
“…You could get one of each, madam,” the waiter sighed.
Dash shrugged, “That works. Also, can I get cider?”
The smile quickly faded from the waiter’s face before being replaced with a scowl.
“We do not serve… cider.”
“…What do you have?”
“We have wine.”
“No whiskey?”
“No.”
“…I’ll just stick to water.” Dash sighed.
“As you wish,”
“Stupid fancy restaurant and their booze choices,” she muttered under her breath as the waiter left.
The pegasus craned her neck to look around for Rarity and her mystery date.
“Still not here…”
---
Rarity took a sip of water as the waiter and another pony approached the table.
“Madam, your date,” the waiter chuckled, “If he has time, I would like an autograph.”
The stallion laughed while Rarity rolled her eyes.
“Not the first time I’ve heard that one.” Soarin chuckled as he took his seat across from her.
“I’ll give you some time to figure out your order, sir.”
With that, the waiter turned around and left the couple alone.
“You’re late.” Rarity scowled
“Least I made it here without bein’ mobbed by the pap,” Soarin shrugged.
“True,” Rarity sighed.
“Anyway, I’ve never been to this restaurant before, how’s their pie?” Soarin flipped open his menu and began to scan it.
“Is pie all you think about?”
“No, its split between work, pie and you,” Soarin paused, “Although I think it’s slightly skewed towards you.” Rarity frowned as he continued on, “Old habits die hard.”
“You have five words to make that less of a backhoof complement.”
“Pie’s not as important as work, and you’re more important that work,” Soarin chuckled.
“Over the limit, but I accept it.” Rarity warmly replied, “Try the Pate aux pommes de terre; they add onions, leeks, garlic and feta to it.”
“I like the sound of that,” Soarin grinned, “What are you getting?”
“The Banh mi, with tofu,” Rarity responded, “They’re quite good.”
“Isn’t that from…Saolaos?”
“Indeed. The French were heavily influential there, so it makes sense that they took cues from their cuisine.”
“Huh. We’ve never performed there,” Soarin paused, “Heck; we’ve never traveled anywhere since Spitfire took over as Captain.”
“Really?”
Before Soarin could respond, the waiter returned.
“Ready to order?”
“I’ll have the…Rarity, how do you pronounce it again?” Soarin asked.
“He’ll have the pate aux pommes de terre, and I will have the Tofu Banh mi.”
“And to drink?”
“Water’s fine.” Soarin shrugged.
“I’ll stick to water.”
The waiter left, leaving Soarin staring at an annoyed Rarity.
“What?” the stallion shrugged.
“You can’t say ‘pate aux pommes de terre’?”
“I never took French, I took Ibexian.” Soarin blushed.
“…Fair enough.”
----
As Dash bit into her Pela, she slowly stopped chewing and stared at it. She spat out her mouthful and made a disgusted face.
“What is this crap?”
The pegasus took a swing of water and swished it around her mouth in a feeble attempt to rid herself of the taste. Several of the ponies at the other tables shot her a dirty look. As she swallowed, she waved down a waiter.
“Where’s the bathroom?”
“Follow me.”
Rainbow Dash got to her hooves and followed the waiter, glancing around every few steps as she looked for Rarity and her mystery date. Finally catching Rarity in the corner of her eye, she paused, waiting for another waiter to move out of her view of her friend’s date.
“Enjoy,” the waiter grinned and remained next to Soarin. Before taking a bite, the celebrity sighed.
“You’re not going to go away until I give you an autograph, are you?” Before the waiter could respond, Soarin pulled a pen out, “You got something better to write on than this napkin?”
“Here.” The waiter pulled out his order pad and placed it on the table, “Can you sign it for my son? He loves your shows.”
“Sure, what’s his name?” Soarin bit the end of the pen and prepared to write.
“Write it to Featherweight, some thing like ‘Dream big’ or something,” the waiter gushed and Rarity rolled her eyes. Soarin continued to writing and eventually finished.
“There, ‘Hope to see you with us one day’, that sound good?”
“Yessir, He’ll love it.” the waiter pocketed the pad and began to leave.
“Finally,” Rainbow Dash muttered under her breath, as the waiter left her view, revealing Rarity’s date. As realization sunk in, Dash’s eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped.
“Heh,” Soarin chuckled, “the kid’s name sounds fa-”
Before he could finish the sentence, a blast of wind knocked their food off the table and sent other dishes flying through the air. A plate of pie landed on Rarity’s face, while a plate of ravioli like pasta landed on Soarin.
“OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! Soarin! Why are you here? Do you remember me?” Rainbow Dash squeed.
“Um… Hi,” the stallion confusedly greeted her, “This is kind of a bad t-”
“RAINBOW DASH!” Rarity screamed, snapping the pegasus's attention back to reality. Dash shrunk back as she turned to face the livid unicorn.
“Um... Hey Rarity, how’s it goin’?” she flashed a nervous, awkward smile.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” Rarity hissed through gritted teeth.
“Well…” Before the pegasus could respond, somepony else tapped her on the shoulder. Turning, Dash came face to face with a waiter. Behind him, other ponies stood with angry expressions on their faces, along with food.
“…Ohlookatthetime,IjustrememberedIhadtopickupTankatfive, bye!” Dash dropped a small coin purse and fled.
---
Berry Punch rolled her eyes at the mortified pegasus's story.
“I can’t believe you, Dash.”
“Shut up and fill my cup up.” Dash muttered.
“Way to mess up in front of your idol and his marefriend,” Berry shook her head, “I need to get another bottle.”
Berry left the bar counter, leaving Dash behind. A chuckle brought Dash’s thoughts back to the bar’s only other occupant: a brown earth stallion with an hourglass cutie mark.
“That’s quite a story,” the stallion chuckled.
“Shut up, Time Turner.” Dash groaned again, “I’m an idiot.”
“Can’t argue with that, but…” the stallion placed his mug down, “Don’t dwell on what you did, think about how you’re going to make it up to them.”
Dash pulled herself up before responding, “Well what the hell should I do?”
“I don’t know, you figure it out,” he shrugged, “Soarin’ should be easy, just get him fresh pie from the Cakes, or Applejack.”
Time Turner paused amused at what he just said.
“If their family name is ‘cakes’ and they make pies, does that mean there’s some sort of fundamental paradox there?”
“There’s still Rarity and she’s still mad about when we accidentally left her and Pinkie in Dodge.”
“That one’s up to you,” Turner shrugged again.
Berry returned to the bar and poured out another drink for Dash. The mare downed it and slammed the shot glass back onto the top.
“Another?” Berry held up the bottle.
“Actually, I’ll buy her a drink,” Time Turner offered, “something a bit fancier, how about a couple of Tremblement de Terres?”
Berry responded with a frown, “You sure?”
“Well, unless Dash wants something else…”
“Bring it on.” Dash perked up.
The bartender sighed and pulled two new bottles out, “For the record, I do have the things necessary to make you both Appleloosa Oysters if you need them in the morning.”
---
Rarity and Soarin continued down the street.
“I’m terribly sorry about how everything turned out,” Rarity apologized.
“It’s alright, this isn’t the worst date I’ve been on,” Soarin chuckled, “that prize goes to the time I tried dating Fleur de Lis…..let’s just say there’s a reason why I’m not welcome in Baltimare anymore…”
“…If you say so…” Rarity’s response drifted off.
“C’mon, just because dinner was ruined, it doesn’t mean the night’s over. Look, how about a couple of drinks?”
“If you insist…”
Soarin pushed open the door to a bar and the two entered…
“WHAT’S NEW, PUSSYCAT? WOAH-WOAAAAH!
Pussycat, pussycat, I got flowers
An’ lots of hours to spend wiiiiith you…”
The two were assaulted by a drunken, off-key duet. As the continued into the bar, a completely hammered Rainbow Dash and Time Turner clung to each other as they continued to sing. Berry winced as the two continued.
“Might want to take a booth, it’ll be quieter.” Berry motioned towards the back room, “Be there after I make sure they don’t fall off the chair.”
Rarity and Soarin turned and headed into the back.
“This is humiliating,” Rarity fumed.
“I didn’t even know she liked Thunderball,” Soarin chuckled, “Learn something new every day.”
---
“…and that was the first date your father and I went on,” Dash concluded.
Temporal Spectrum continued to stare at her mother, jaw hanging. The filly quickly shook her head before speaking.
“Mom, you went to a bar, drank too much and started singing ‘What’s New Pussycat’, how is that a date?”
“You’ll understand when you’re older, Temp.” Dash smiled.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- dramatic_spoon · 1.8k words · 75 2 · 2.5k views
- dramatic_spoon · 1.6k words · 92 2 · 2.8k views
- dramatic_spoon · 10k words · 84 3 · 2.3k views
- Lychee · 1.2k words · 64 1 · 1.6k views
- dramatic_spoon · 1.8k words · 32 1 · 989 views
- dramatic_spoon · 1.5k words · 78 1 · 2k views
- dramatic_spoon · 2k words · 110 4 · 2.9k views
- BrightIdea · 3.9k words · 120 11 · 3.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.139 seconds
Total duration
975 users online
22,299 hits today, 1,892,089 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The story is hilarious, but what's the significance of the story title?
Hmmmm... no.
*quite
Random capitol.
*see
Aside from that, I enjoyed the story.
I liked it and the cover art.
I liked this story! I have put this story in my group Romance is Magic! Cute idea! I loved the ending! Did you come up with the daughter's name on your own or is that from something?
Cute time burner, this one. Favortie part had to be the pairings nobody ever sees around, though... That and drunk Dash. Drunk Dash is best Dash.
Second time I've seen Rairty/Soarin and the first I've seen TimeDash. Only glaring problem would be the use of "French" sorry man but this is Equestria and unless they have more contact with humanity than a High School they wouldn't have French foods. Still well done and it does leave itself open for more
3743689
I know some people prefer "Prance" and "Prench," but they did say French in the show...
3743843
But that's not punny
3743862
Well, if you're looking for a pun... Rainbow's line in the opening theme song is "Big Adventure."
Cross that with Time Turner and what do you get? Adventure Time!
3743689 I've seen time-dash. I can't remember where. Maybe dramatic spoon wrote it :P
3743948
He did
Ponies sure do like getting drunk.
3742865
Tom Jones.
Resurrection Beat is a line from Resurrection Shuffle.
I'm using Tom Jones Songs when I write TurnerDash.
3743463
Came up with it on my own, from a previous story.
3743689
On the contrary, during The Cutie Pox Applebloom says "Why am I speaking French?"... In French.
So, because of that, I don't use anything Punny for France.
3743948
Probably was "It's Not Unusual."
Nice story, first time I've read a timeDash
3743689 3744189 3743843
I think the reason they didn't use a pun for that word in French, in the Cutie Pox episode, is because they didn't pay enough money to get a translator who could create a good French pun involving that language and equines. That and in English using Prench for Fluttershy's line sounds weird, though Prance is cute IMHO.
Personally, I think it may only be the ponies calling these locations by puns and the other species might not use them or they use their own puns. There's really no telling, since they haven't looked at the other continents and most of what we know is from a few lines scattered here and there! We don't even know if their Europe equivalent is mostly ponies. It may be mostly griffons and species other than ponies.
Of course, what all of the official names actually are, we really don't know. These places clearly aren't meant to be direct substitutions for the real France or Saudi Arabia, although they are equivalents or inspired by those countries in some respects. Manehatten, Baltimare, and Fillydelphia are also equivalents, but while that continent may be similar to America, it isn't exactly America. There are many differences.
I think one of the biggest problems with all of these puns is that clarity should stand before humor, but the show is naturally inconsistent about that, and that's why we have these different issues of "French" versus "Prench".
3744439
Point, and honestly I'm not much a fan of the puns... it took me a long time before accepting Prance as place in the MLPverse because of the puns
3744464
Well, that and Prench itself isn't really a pun. Prance is, but Prench is just... an off-shoot of that, so it's just weird. Sometimes this stuff works and sometimes it's awkward.
I prefer the word French for the sake of expedient understanding, even though I'm not sure I like the direct use of the word French, because I don't assume they're actually speaking English either. The amount of countries they'd need to have modern English is just a bit much, for one, and this world isn't exactly ours, so it seems strange to assume they'd have actual English. I'm assuming it's some kind of equivalency... though that goes deeper into world-building than I have the sense to handle. I'm assuming the French is also an equivalency, but since they have called it French, and it's just more straightforward that way, I don't mind using that.
I still have misgivings about saying English too, but for the sake of not hemming and hawing during a language discussion within a fanfiction itself, I'd be willing to use that as a short-hand. Besides, I don't think there is a good pun there that would still be easy to get.
Equuish maybe... but that has issues as well.
Bánh mì... is Vietnamese for bread (specifically Vietnamese styled baguettes). Sometimes, it is alternately used to describe a Vietnamese sandwich.
Although, I do understand the confusion here because Laos and Vietnam were colonies of the French, and a lot of their cusines were influenced by them.
3747679
I am aware of that.
I couldn't think of a suitable name for a Vietnam counterpart, but had one for Laos due to worldbuilding from another thread.
It's a cheat on my part.
3747694
Sorry, I didn't realize that.
Have you tried 'Vietneigh' or something like that?
3747703
It sounded too unoriginal and corny to use.
*Snerk* Nice.
I love how the pony equivalent of Tom Jones is named Thunderball. Any James Bond fan should know why.
So, Rainbow Turner, huh? That's a new one. And he's not the Doctor?
Also, love the name Temporal Spectrum. Awesome.
3767970
Eeyup. I almost went with "Tom Pones", but looked over his discography one last time.
I'm not a fan of the "Time Turner as The Doctor" fandom.
But it varies from universe to universe.
It is a badass sounding name.
smile
Interesting Ship! Never heard of TimeDash before...Also I couldn't tell if that was true love or Dash and Time and too drunk to notice they were makin' love together.
This was weird.
First off, I felt that the descriptions did leave a little bit to be desired. I felt there could have been more depth with Rainbow Dash's thought process with how she feels about her date showing up and her impatiently waiting.
And quick question, how does Rainbow Dash know what happened at Rarity's table? I know they are at the same restaurant, but that just seemed a little odd that she would remember Rarity's and Soarin's conversation.
Maybe I'm looking too much into this, but I really don't get the significance of the ending. Maybe I just don't get the song reference or the joke, but I really didn't see what was funny at the end. Maybe it was the kid's reaction, but I felt that wasn't explored upon very well.
Overall, I felt that the story left me without much too say. It was pretty boring, at least for me. I didn't get the joke really, so that hurt the story, again for me. And I felt the story could have used a bit more depth with Rainbow Dash's thoughts.
Maybe this is just a ramblings of an idiot, but there you go. Thank you for letting me read it and I'll catch you later. Take care.
3913772
It's fine.
As for how she remembers Rarity and Soarin's conversation, it's basically flashback sitcom logic.
These sort of stories are a bit hit-or-miss, especially since it's a sort of jokey thing that doesn't hold up under close inspection.
But most comedy is like that.
It must be because I've read too many Dash X Soarin fan fictions, but I kept thinking that it was going to be those two getting together again. So imagine my surprise when it's Time Turner who is now married to Rainbow Dash!
While this has a lot to be desired and a lot that needs to be worked on, for the most part it was not a bad story. It shifted from first person narrative to third person omni-present so quickly I literally got whip lash; that chiefly came from the cliche "How I Meet Your Mother" lead in. If anything I suggest keeping it first person narrative, all through Dash's view point, and either expanding on the story so we learn about what happened that she didn't personally see of just leaving it up to the readers' imaginations.
Character: B-
Plot: C
Style: D
Total Point: C-
4293141
In retrospect, the perspective shift was probably a really bad idea.
4293191 Indeed, but not something a bit of an edit cannot fix.
really awesome job. funny too.
Pegasi is the plural of pegasus, but as we're talking about one pegasus, it should be pegasus throughout the entire story, even here:
That is a possessive apostrophe for one pegasus, so it should be "[...] Snapping the pegasus' attention back to reality." (Or "pegasus's")
Also
Fashionista should have a lowercase 'f'.
4357366
Fixed.
Well, now I know.
Oh yeah that was pretty bad of you I remember that
This was a pretty interesting story and a little bit brush but very good so her kid was asking how rainbow and the doctor met each other and yeah it was a very interesting story to say at least they found love with each other like I said Love is Strange even though they got drunk really badly well again this was a pretty good story keep up the good work