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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It's a nice intro, but...
That grammar... oh god
330257 Yeah sorry about that I did this on my bullt IPad it'll get better I promise cross my heart and hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye.
Pinkie: Forever.
Well a little grammar issue, but except that I would like to see where this story is going
Oh dear god the grammar
Uh, an ok start I think. Hard to tell really.
330357 330425 Like I said to the last Guy I did this on my bullt iPad also what exactly IS wrong with the grammar? Please tell me so I can fix any problems.
330606
The issue lies with the wording and punctuation. A couple words are spelled incorrectly, one of its sentences is nearly a paragraph long, and the punctuation really, REALLY needs work.
But I really do mean what I said when I mentioned how it was a decent idea.
346063 Okay I'll fix up the paragraph long sentence and try to fix my punctuation when I get the chance.
It's not just the grammar and spelling that is bad. The writing is, as well. Also, it really doesn't make sense that Celestia would pick up a creature that she knows nothing about and call it her son.
You may as well find a dog on the streets, bring it home, and call it your daughter.
You really can't have sentences that take up 5+ lines without at LEAST a comma. Break it up into smaller sentences, please. This will make it easier for people to read your story.
Get a beta-reader to catch these mistakes until you can write just as well without one.