Coping Skills (Danger Zone!)
Chapter 1337
Coping skills
My mom was always proud of how I would always be unaffected by all the shit that would happen to us. When my dad got in that accident, or when we got kicked out of my childhood home, I always had a positive attitude and just said, “Everything is going to be alright.”
“My Rock.” She would call me. I never had the heart to tell her that it wasn’t that I was strong enough to persevere through our hardships, but that was only me being too absorbed in my books and games to actually look at how bleak our situation really was.
The world would just pass me by while I just sat there, doing nothing.
~~~
Stupid stupid stupid! You should never tell the god of chaos that you have a fair grasp of what he will do next. That’s like heckling a comedian, or telling the secrets behind a magician's trick! Shit, why did I even think I could grasp the concept of chaos? Just because I’m crazy doesn’t mean I’m clever. I remove my face from my hands and take a quick look around me.
There isn’t anything to look at, however. Not even the usual mind-bending spectrum of colors that had accompanied trips through this place; only black nothingness. What was this place, anyway? The afterlife? I’ve been popping up everywhere in ways no human being should. Teleporting does destroy the thing being teleported, after all. Quantum entanglement and the like. I’m going to put that in the ‘maybe’ drawer.
Out of the nothing comes a metal filing cabinet. The top drawer slowly slides open, and a manilla envelope labeled SCIENCE slides up from the unlabeled pieces of paper. That’s one perk about this place at least. It is completely based off of thought. Kinda like a lucid dream, cept... no wait, yeah it’s basically a lucid dream. Whatever I think here, will happen. Probably explains why my last trip here was trippy, Discord was my copilot after all.
Alright, how about a different dimension? Am I tessering right now? I better not have to fight a giant hate brain or something. Another folder pops up, labeled KICK-ASS BOOKS.
“Ah, screw it,” I say, exasperated. It’s not worth getting my mind in twists to decide where I am. It’s not here and it’s not there. Guess I’ll go with... Nowhere. I bet the answer lies in MLP fanon somewhere. This is basically Discord’s place, after all. Then again, this could probably be the place that Pinkie uses... No, it’s much too lonely here for her.
Maybe this is what it was like for Discord during his imprisonment. Just twiddling his thumbs while he thought to himself. I’m running out of petty questions to think about. I want to get out; no, I need to get out! Okay, it’s not hard. You just need to make your own way out. I will away the filing cabinet with little effort. It evaporates into a haze of smoke and rejoins the nothingness around me.
I think of a door. This door has a bright red exit sign and a bar for a handle, like most fire exits. It comes into existence right where the cabinet was. It was much better than my first door in this place, but only because I’m a tad calmer than when it felt like I was hurtling through this place like a cannon ball. It’ll probably take me out of this place, but what would happen after that? I have nowhere else to go. My home is burned down and Discord pretty much abandoned me. I rush through the door before I have a chance to keep thinking about my crummy situation.
I am nearly blinded by the bright lights as I stumble onto the cobbled streets. Yep, it worked out. Now, where am I this time? Well. An alleyway, obviously, but where is this alleyway located? I cautiously walk out of the gap between two gray buildings. The road is full of people scurrying this way and that. It’s all reassuring until I notice that something is a bit off about everyone. What could it be though? Oh! It’s their faces, or lack of them, rather. In place of the usual vacant look the working class had were gray blurs.
I moan and rub my eyes with my hands. This metaphysical mumbo jumbo bullshit is so tiring. I think really hard about nothingness. Going back to square one then. When I open my eyes I’m still in the same place. Shit. I hope this isn’t the twi-
“Ashton Thomas, a solitary young lad of 18, finds himself in a strange place, surrounded by strange people, during a strange time in his life, and it is about to get much... stranger. But that is what happens when,” Damn it, I am in the twilight zone! “you are a total twat.”
Oh, I thought that voice was familiar. I turn to see a man with long gangly arms wearing a tiki-mask and a black suit, looking like a Hawaii-themed Slenderman. He was sitting by himself in a wooden chair on a colorless patio. He gestures toward the other chair beside him. I have nothing better to do, so I walk up the steps to the patio and take a seat.
“Hello, Ashton.”
Alright, so apparently I am kinda stuck here for a while. I’m at least 90% sure that I am still in the Nowhere, so if I just keep- The chair is suddenly pulled out from under me. I bang my head against the featureless wood flooring. The manifestation of my crazy self stands over me, holding the chair in his hands like a club. Regardless of his lack of facial expression, he gets his point across. Anger.
“You won’t be ignoring me this time, Ashton,” he says. He swings the chair down.
I see stars. Even they are colorless in this part of the Nowhere. Where I would have felt pain, however, was only tingly numbness. Small mercies, I suppose. “Alright, you have my attention.”
“I hate you, Ashton,” he says in a matter-of-fact tone.
“I know. You always have.” He slaps me. More pins and needles.
“You will never truly know the depth of my hate for you, Ashton.” His voice toneless, much like this place
Great, gotta face my issues to get out of here, then? If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s introspection. Gotta do what you gotta do I guess. “You are only an extension of myself, the symptom of my psychosis.” I clench my teeth in an attempt to add conviction to my words. “You are not real.”
He slams his gloved fist into my gut. It knocks the wind out of me. I hardly notice, breathing doesn’t really work here in the Nowhere. “I was a part of you,” he hisses with equal parts disgust and hatred. “But after that dream with Discord, I have slowly become more... aware. I wasn't a two dimensional figment of your imagination, created by your self neglect and loathing. I became my own ‘voice’, if you will.” He gives a harsh laugh at his inside joke.
“Wait... what dream?” My head buzzes, and I start feeling the first bit of pain I have ever felt in this place right in the back of my skull.
“Ah... yes, you don’t remember that. You never will, either. Well, a while ago, Discord found his way into that miserable cesspool you call a mind. Unfortunately, before he could replace your mind with one of a pony, you...” He grabs me by the throat and holds me up in the air. He starts punctuating each of his words with a punch to my face.
“Somehow!”
Punch.
“Managed!”
Punch.
“To!”
Punch.
“Trap!”
Punch.
“Him!”
Punch. Punch. Punch!
I am too engrossed in this impossible tale to notice him waylaying me. I ask as he continues to punch me.
”How?”
Punch.
“Did?”
Punch.
“He?”
Punch.
“Get?”
Punch.
“Out?”
He stops punching me like a redheaded stepchild and calmly says, “He accepted the deal you gave him, of course.”
“What deal?”
He just stares at me, the red embers located where his eyes would be glaring through my very soul. “No.” He lifts me over his shoulders and flings me off the patio. I roll and tumble in the air until I decide to stop and land on my feet. He hops off the patio and walks to me. “No.” He says again. “I will not let you waste our part of the bargain!”
What was this deal I had with Discord? Why can’t I remember any of this dream? Did it even happen? There’s one thing that I can think to really ask, however, “What do you mean ‘our’ part of the bargain? I’m the one in control here.”
He screams, he screams such a hateful scream. His shaking hands are raised to the heavens of this bleak, godless world. If this were not the Nowhere place, my eardrums would have been irreparably damaged. He slowly quiets down and lowers his arms after what seems like hours of yelling. “Get out.” he says quietly.
“What I say?” I ask. An iron door materializes behind me. It quickly opens inward, bathing us in dazzling bright colors. He grabs me again and shouts in my ear.
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” He tosses me through the portal head first.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! I wildly flail my arms as my brain is assaulted by scents, bright lights, and heat suddenly rushing to greet me as I fly out the Nowhere. My hands and feet find hot rocky ground, but my momentum forces me to frantically swing my arms and legs forward to prevent myself from falling face first onto the boiling hot stony floor.
My hands are starting to hurt from the heat of the ground. I can’t keep up anymore! Something is wrong with my legs. Why can’t I stand up!? I fall over my hands, tripping nose first on to the hot ground. Gah!
“Shit!” I hear someone yell the words right out of my mouth
I finally open my eyes to see a 2007 Holden Barina sedan barreling at me. Hmmm... why do I know what kind of car that is? Its tires squeal as it does a half-assed job of trying to avoid me. I stare at the driver, a bearded man with a strained expression on his face. There are two girls in the back seat, screaming loud enough that I could hear them quite clearly through the windows. Figures I’d be run over by a family man. I sigh and accept my fate.
Thunk.
Ow! Son of a bitch my... my... ouch? Wait! I’m still alive! Hahahahaha! Euphoric doesn’t even describe how I’m feeling right now! Screw you crazy voice! Screw you Discord! Screw you fluffy ponies! You can’t keep a good Ashton down! Note to self, stop referring to self in third person.
The car pulls over behind me. Oh, so I landed on a road then? Not the best spot to get flung onto, I suppose. At least I wasn’t hit by a psycho or something like that.
It’s so freaking hot! Am I wearing coat or something? Trying to yank the offensive garment I come to realize something crucial about my current person. Where are my thumbs? Where are my-
“I’ll go check on it,” A somewhat gruff and hardboiled voice said. “Just stay here.”
Two of the cars doors open and two people step out and rush towards me, from what I can hear. Yuck! I can smell them from all the way over here! The man smells like he slathered himself in bacon and eggs, after which he tried to hide the stench by emptying an entire can of strawberry scented Febreze on himself. The girl doesn’t smell that bad, though. Still smelt like a leaking tanker of cleaning solution in a strawberry field, but I could make out the smell of a garden too, and fudge?
“Just keep your distance,” The man says to the girl warily. “Remember, animals aren’t as friendly here as they are in Equestria.” Oh! Now the lack of thumbs and fur coat make sense. I’m an animal. Wait... I’m an animal?!
I swear to god, if I’m anywhere near anthropomorphic, I’m going to strangle Discord! Chaos god or no, no one ever makes me a furry. No one!
The man gets nearer. Time to go to my stand-by, pretending I’m knocked out.
~Oh, because that helped you so much last time.~ Crazy voice speaks up in disdain.
I was wondering when you were going to say something. Might I remind you that I was the one that came out of that situation the least scathed?
~You are a pathetic little man.~ Crazy voice trails off, hopefully leaving me alone for a while.
The man kneels over me. Oh god the stench. My poor nose! Well it’s not my real nose, but still. Wait... what if it is my real nose? What if I’ve been an animal the whole time? Have I only been dreaming that I was a human? Like that one poem? With the butterfly and shit?
That’s stupid. The man prods me with brawny hands. Ew, I can feel his arm hair brushing up against me! Oh my god, I’m not a furry! He is!
“I don’t understand, it looks fine to me. I can’t see any real injuries.” He says, stopping the hirsute pokerinaing of my poor new ribs. He stands up. “Maybe it just got knocked out. We’ll need to move it away from here before any more cars show up, though.” Oh dear lord, he isn’t going to pick me up, is he?
He kneels back down. Oh no he is going to pick me up with those hairy arms. He leans over me and gently slides his hands under me. He slowly lifts me into the air and holds me against himself. This is actually the first time I have felt so secure in a while.
~So gay.~
You shut up. He starts walking off the road. Hmmm, what’s the worst possible thing that I could do to this man for nearly running me over?
~Wait. That’s oddly vindictive of you, isn’t it?~ Crazy voice asks, completely out of character from his usual assholey self.
Meh, I feel unusually dickish after our little confrontation, got it? So, what to do? Biting his face would be a little too much, wouldn’t it? Then again, slobbering would be nasty on my end. Let’s go with a subtle freaking out. I open my eyes. Hot damn that is one rugged face. Is he a pirate? Wait, no ear-ring. Lumberjack? Nah, his arms aren’t that big. Actually, they remind me of my dads arms, so... a painter?
His jaw clenched as he tosses me off the side of the road into grass. Alright, that was good enough for a start. Now lets put on my thinking cap on how to really screw with this guy. Wait a tick... can I talk? The man and a girl with what looks to be the softest shade of pink hair flowing down her back stares at me. I stare back, mostly at the pretty girl.
“I thought you said that animals weren’t sentient here on Earth.” The strange pretty girl says. Foreigner? Doesn’t look Asian, and not a hint of a Chinese accent either. Crazy? Meh. I’d still like to hang out ar- wait, she knows that I am sentient?
The dude raises his left eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
Pretty girl walks up to me and kneels down to scratch behind my ears. So that’s what it feels like. Wait, so if I’m being scratched, does that mean I look like a dog? Well, I do have paws and I think I’m a bit bigger than a cat. “It’s okay.” She says soothingly. “Doug didn’t mean to hit you.” I got hit by a guy named Doug? Doug?! That's it, I call shenanigans.
~Chill the fuck out.~
No! I am sick of this shit. First I get smacked upside the head by a dude named John, then I nearly get ran over by Doug. What’s next? Shanked by Max? Molested by Mary?! “Why don’t you tell me your name?”
Does she actually know that I was human before? It may just be that she’s crazy. Can I even talk? Probably not. Just need to play it cool. I give a casual- Not a whistle! Nowhere near a whistle! They’re staring at me again. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Dog things can’t whistle. I probably can’t even talk. This is just awful!
“What was that it just did now?” He asks. His voice that implied that he didn’t have enough time for this silliness. Not when there were steaks to eat and hippies to punch.
“Aw, the poor thing is scared,” she replies. Am I scared? The guy is kinda big, but I have teeth and claws. “It’s okay, we’ll make you all better.” The other chick and a pale kid leaves the car. Wait... is Doug an archaeologist? It only makes sense, what with all the ladies and token little kid.
“Well, I guess you haven’t lost your touch at all,” Dr. Doug says. “It really does look like it knows what you’re saying.”
Well, his guard is down. Now is the best time to try to speak. Worst case scenario, it comes out as a horrifying abomination in the face of language. Best-case, I’ll sound like a particularly pissed off wolverine. So a win-win situation! Try to go with a silly accent? Definitely, “Excuse me, but did this pink-haired young woman just call you ‘Doug’?” A bit deeper and growler than usual.
He just stares at me. My guess is that he’s refusing to accept a talking dog. This is quite hilarious. I would probably have done the same thing and just think I only thought I heard a dog talk to me.
“Oh yes, this is my good friend Doug. I’m sure he would never mean to hit you on purpose,” Pretty girl says.
Hmmm. Lets try to guilt this asshole into apologizing for running me over. I sniff, saying,“Hmph! Well, he hasn’t said that he’s sorry!” I glare at him. I wonder if I look scary.
He flings his hands into the air and walked away a couple of steps. He leans against his car and slowly slides down to the pavement. He whispers something to the other pink haired girl. I could have easily heard it, but that really wouldn’t be polite, would it?
Getting a better look at the other pink haired girl, I noticed that her hair was a much darker shade of pink. Oh, and she couldn’t seem to keep still. She’s kinda familiar, really almost like-
“Hey dingo, Doug says he’s sorry!” She yells, and turns to the other girl “Oh, and he said you need to tell the dingo to go away.” Well, there goes my self esteem. Time for more guilt tripping!
Frowning, or frowning as much as a dingo can. Wait, I’m a dingo? Does that mean I’m in Australia? How am I still alive!? Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, frowning.
“You know what, I don’t think he’s sincere at all. I finally decide to speak to one of you and it turns out nobody wants to listen. Well fine, whatever!” Now lets milk it with the ole’ limp away and moaning. It’s not that hard when you don’t know how to walk on 4 legs.
“Fine! I’m sorry we hit you,” Dr. Doug Hale calls out behind me, “You just kind of tripped in the middle of the road, and I couldn’t swerve in time to avoid you.” It wasn’t my fault that I got flung out onto a road! “Are you okay? Come on back here.”
There we go, I guess we’re even now. He seems like a cool enough dude, anyway. At least cool enough not to rat me out to Australian scientists bent on weaponizing talking dingos. Now... right paw, left paw? Er... yeah, it’s hard to walk when you have to think about it. “So, you are called Doug, right?”
“Yes. My name is Doug.”
The hyperactive girl kneels beside me and loudly chirps in,“Hi, I’m Pinkie!” Oh my god! “This here is Fluttershy.”
~What!?~
WHAT?
“And the white-haired one is Angel.” She says something else, but all it does is slam against the pure ball of anger pin balling around my skull. This man, this stable Australian family man, has found not one, but both! Both! Of my favorite ponies! That’s it!
~His punishment must be more... severe.~
For once we are in agreement. This is some serious bullshit! I don’t care if it isn’t his fault that he found them. I don’t care that I didn’t have to let Discord into my life and have all this shit happen to me!
What would have happened if I had found one of them instead of Discord, anyway? Would it have been an idyllic Pony on earth situation where they would have turned my life around? A bit cliche, but if only that had happen. I’d still be living in my apartment, that’s for sure. Worst case scenario, it would be lined wall to wall with streamers or full of animals
This guy will suffer! Alright, so I can’t just leap at him and bite his face off. Not with Fluttershy here. I bet she’s been through a lot. Pinkie Pie probably did the same as Discord and just rolled with it when she woke up to Doug.
Alright, lets check out his mental state. He seems to be a down to Earth guy. So, I bet his faith in the way things work in the world are pretty fragile. A talking dingo would piss me off now that I think about it. Just more chaotic bullshit that I don’t feel like dealing with. What would be the final straw for this guy, though? He’s already seen people who were supposed to be fictional ponies already.
Wait... waaaaiit. Oh, my god. Convince him that he is a fictional character! But what kind of fictional character? It doesn’t have to be that believable, does it? Wait, I’m slightly bigger than most dingos are, aren’t I?
I turn to Pinkie Pie. “Okaaay, nice to meet you, strange person who I absolutely have never heard of before in any way ever,” Smooth. Real smooth. I turn back to Doug. “So... I have finally found you then! You have no idea how long I have been searching for you!”
I savor the look of confusion on his face. “Well, how long have you been searching for me, and why?”
Okay, now to pretend to think about his question. “Well, gee. It hasn’t been all that...” Pause now, worried expression. “Wait. You really don’t know?” Gasp. No, that’s not a gasp. Whatever, it’s good enough. “You mean to say that you don’t remember me?”
“Uh...” He looks back and forth between me and the Equestrians. Yes! Squirm in your confusion! “I guess I don’t?”
Alright, now let’s have some despair. Think of that one pet shelter commercial. I bury my nose under my paws. “Oh no. Oh, this is not good at all...”
He walks closer to me. “Okay, so I don’t remember you, but you can still tell me why you are looking for me.”
Alright, gotta pretend to have a difficult time explaining this. “Well, this is going to be really hard to explain,” Hmmm... let’s give him a new name while we’re at it. “Dougery.” Teehee. “But this isn’t your world. You don’t belong here.”
“Um, I thought you said you were born on Earth,” Fluttershy says in confusion. D’awww. Pinkie is strangely quiet.
“I... I was,” He says in false macho confidence. “I have the baby pictures to prove it. What do you mean?”
Serious business time now. “Winter has come!” I bellow. “Winterfell is being overrun! Don’t you remember? Only a Stark can fight and hold off the Others, but they have all fallen!” I stare straight into his eyes. “All but one. The last remaining Stark: Dougery Stark.” I step closer. “I’ve come to take you home.”
He gawps like a fish, completely speechless. “I... can’t go home just yet,” I can’t resist smiling for some reason. “Listen, if I really am a Stark, then I can’t go back right now. I need to take care of these young women and escort them back to their own world. They, too, don’t belong here.”
Bah. Oh well, what was I going to do with this bit anyway?
~Arrgghh!~ Crazy voice screams in frustration.
Blah, let me guess, you hate me because I’ve let this go already?
~...~
I take your silence for a yes.
I cock my head to the side and say,“Okay then.” I jog to the car and say, “I’ll just chill with you guys until you can get that sorted out.”
“What?” He barks. Shit. “No... no no no! I can’t take in any more visitors from other worlds or dimensions, and I surely can’t...“ He pauses. Double shit. “Wait, what did you just say?”
Okay, I don’t think I said anything incriminating. “I said “I’ll just chill with you guys and...”” Oh... shit. I give a nervous little smile as I turn and look at Doug. “Uh, you know. Chill. You’re a Stark, I thought you’d appreciate the pun!”
“I may not be a Stark,” Damn damn damn damn. “But even I know that they don’t use the term ‘chill’ in that manner. Who are you really?”
Maybe I can still turn this around! “Oh... oh! Wait, you’re not the last Stark! I was confused by that amazing beard of yours, and...“ Damn it, this isn’t working at all. “Oh... oh come on!” I give another smile. “Can’t we just forget about this and maybe enjoy a few cold Cokes together?”
“Yes!” Pinkie shouts gleefully. There we go, Doug couldn’t refuse Pinkie, could h-
“No!” He shouts angrily. This sheep slut just refused Pinkie Pie!
“Last chance.” Oh, he’s getting serious. “Who are you, really?”
Pffft, Fine I give up. “Bah! Fine, the name’s Ashton. Nice to meet ya, Doug.”
He gets down to eye level and stares into my very soul. “So, Ashton. Were you always a talking dingo?”
Meh, I’m already in deep with this guy. A little sarcasm won’t hurt. Probably.“Oh gee, I wish! It’s just so fun getting run over by crazy Australians. We’re in Australia, right? Anyways, no. I’ve only been a dingo for ten, maybe fifteen minutes.”
“Right. Yes, we’re in Australia. No, I probably won’t believe anything you tell me anymore.” It’s like he can read my mind! “But, seeing as you’re the only talking animal other than a bird that I’ve met, I’m willing to hear your story. Just don’t lie to me again, or else.” Oh yeah, that’s definitely fair.
Hmmm... I don’t think it would be smart to tell him about Discord since he has Pinkie and Fluttershy, so lets try to change the subject. “Yeah, yeah. I won’t lie to you again,” Going to act like I’m still angry about nearly getting run over. “I think we’re even now for the whole You-Running-Me-Over-Like-a-Madman tidbit, anyway.”
“Wait, so you just made that up to get back at me for hitting you?” Oh, that probably wasn’t a good reason either.
Meh, he wouldn’t do anything with Fluttershy here right? “Yes, that’s all me! I did that. Also, I’m pretty jealous that you found Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. You lucky dog.” There’s a little truth for yah.
“Yeah, about them. I don’t know who you are, other than someone or something that was turned into a dingo, but I think it would be best to forget you ever saw them.” God, so serious. “Understand?”
“Yeah, yeah. We’re kind of in the same boat, dude,” I say. I’m kinda insulted that he didn’t know it before then. “How do you think I got turned into a dingo in the first place?”
“Well, with all that has happened lately, I suppose it could be any number of things. Were you a human before this happened?” Didn’t he already ask me that?
Whatever. “Yes.” Expounding on my confirmation, I say, “I was in America, too.” I‘m boiling alive. Being a dingo in Australia sucks! I want to get in the car with Pinkie and Fluttershy now. “Wait, this seems a little weird. Do we have to discuss this on the side of the road?”
“Fine,” He says, opening the rear door to his car. Yes! “Hop in and we can discuss this on the way to my camp.”
“Thanks!” Oh my god, Angel, hurry the hell up! It’s Satan’s asscrack out here!
Just as I get comfortable, Doug looks at me through his rear-view mirror. “Oh, and Ashton?” His real question is obvious in his eyes. Don’t even think of fucking with the girls.
How dare he even suggest that I would do anything to Pinkie and Fluttershy! “Yeah, yeah. As if I would ever do anything to Pinkie or Fluttershy. Sheesh!”
I hope it won’t be a long trip to wherever we’re going.
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YESSS
Yes! Get to read this from Ashton's perspective! This will be so much fun!!
I once convinced a friend of mine that they were The Doctor, and I was his companion. We set off on an epic quest to retrieve the TARDIS, which conveniently also contained the sonic screwdriver and fob watch. Isn't it funny how aliens on Doctor Who always look so much like humans? It was the best con of my life.
Well, this is going quite well, now catch up with The Slorg so that the chaos may increase to untold levels.
1172814 What, you're crazy... that's crazyyyy... how can anypony fall for that?
1173740 Yeah, you keep thinking that, but don't tell anypony, it might mess with them, LIKE OTHER PONIES MESS WITH ME!
1173762 You need not my info, fool, ya fool, you only need to know this, THAT I SHALL SAVE THE FUTURE YET TO COME! FOR HUMANITY!
1173782 This is quite illogical, now when you are done, my suggestion is to morph all these comments into one.
1173719 I'm not sure. I kinda feel bad about it, I think he might be special.
1173750 Thank goodness I've found you, Richard! It's your destiny to SAVE THE FUTURE! Just give me all your money and credit card info, and we can be ON OUR WAY!
TO THE FUTURE!
WHICH YOU NEED TO SAVE!
1173775 Future events such as these will affect you in the future.
1173719 That's a terrible idea. You're clearly an idiot. How the hell are you The One, anyway? Why can't we have Keanu Reeves or the kid from Terminator 2? I'd even settle for Marty McFly at this point. In fact, you know what?
Dear Morpheus,
The future is screwed. I'm going back to the 40s so I can show that Ingrid Bergman how we do it on Alpha Centuari.
Later, snatches.
kingtiger666
P.S. If I could just cram a few more sci-fi references in here... Allons-y, all those moments like tears in the rain, I am your father, embrace eternity, get that tin man away from me!
1173806 The only two references I got from that were allons-y and I am your father.... but i've never heard anypony say allons-y.
1173849 Only got Mass Effect, Star Wars, and Doctor Whoozles n' boozles
1173870 I care not about porn.... or this Blade Runner... By Celestia, I think i'm going to watch Dexter.... I tell you, it's like 5:38 in the mornin' here
1173880 Just watched the trailer... and i'm not seein' what you're believing.
1173842 Doctor Who, Blade Runner, Star Wars, Mass Effect, A Droid In The Bush Is Worth Two In The Hand (Not porn. Okay, fine, it's porn. Classy porn, like Caligula. Not like Caligula.)
1173862 Then go watch Blade Runner. Right now. Right goddamn now. Yes, it's the middle of the night, but it's required watching and YOU WILL WATCH IT NOW. And we can just forget about the... Other thing, right?
1173875 It's 2:36 over here, and it's always time for Blade Runner.
Seriously though, it's widely considered one of the greatest films of all time. Google it. Google it now.
1173842 There are lots of trailers. Just google it. Here, just look on IMDB. If you still don't wanna watch it, I guess you'll just be missing out on Harrison Ford at his Harrison Fordiest.
So much yes!
OH MY GOSH SO AW3ZOM3!!!111!!1
Seriously, though. You're getting better.
Keep this up and I might dislike you less.
Yes, that really worked out well last time.
And when John's school is bubblegum, you have my permission to... to...
I was not planing on the dingo.
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Will you eventually do the part where you eventually get taken away again in the reverse DeLorean? IYKWIM. And which Ponyfall story will you be in next?
"oh my god Angel, hurry the hell up!"
OK, so now we know that Ashton has a completely separate conciseness living in his head. And it despises him. And as if he wern't unstable enough already...
Also, I was wondering if you were going to add Tom back into the story. He was a very deep character full of emotion and feeling. I think he would add a lot to the story again.
Keep up the swag.
Oh my God. You just referenced "A Wrinkle in Time". I don't even know anyone who has read that series, besides myself. You, my friend, are awesome