The Peach-Pocalypse

by Dash The Stampede

Peachment Day

Twilight liked peaches. Rather, she loved them. She had come to know the delectable fruit and its savory new taste after Spike's endeavor in the market the previous week. Subsequently, said market vendor was currently rolling in what was Twilight's stipend. However, the stand, with its owner, Peach Fuzz, were empty, and no stock was coming, she had said.

So it came to be that Twilight found herself checking her modifications to her apple-to-orange spell, ensuring no negative results. Her last venture into transmogrification led to the creation of one very angry Orange Frog. Her past with Mr. Frog had been settled in a quiet counterspell, one which she would use if her spell did not have the desired effect.

"Come on, there has to be something I'm overlooking!" Twilight frantically searched through her notes, scattered through the bottom floor of the Library in a tangle of sticky notes and papers. She glanced around her, looking at the previous four attempts with a mix of anger and curiosity.

Her first attempt had been on one of Applejack's best Macintosh apples, the poor thing hairier than a barbershop floor, and tasting of bland apple with a hint of peach. Her second attempt had resulted in an explosion, caking the walls with apple matter and peach goo. Experiments three and four looked promising, the apple-shaped peaches tasting lightly of golden delicious and ripe, succulent peaches. She was on her fifth attempt, and her last apple she could get from Applejack earlier that day.

"Aha! I've got it! I just need to twist the matrix of the spell a bit and add in the modifications of peachy shape. Soon, the dry well of Peach Fuzz's stand will wilt no more under the barren skies of hunger!" Twilight felt overjoyed, she had finished it, the final test would have to decide if she would ever savor the sweet nectar of the Godesses or if she would need to revert to the basic of apple-dominated markets.

Twilight stood back from her notes and readied the spell in her mind. Her horn glowed a faint purple, which became brighter and brighter. "Just...a...little...more...power!" She grunted, the effort taking its toll. Suddenly, her sight was blinded by the light of the spell being cast, followed by the return of the dimly-lit Library to her peripherals. She glanced down at what was supposed to be her prize, a glorious peach, fresh from transmogrification, and instead saw that her apple had remained the same.

"If I didn't turn the apple into a peach, what did the spell do?" Twilight pondered aloud, moving to her window, attempting to see if there were any widespread effects.

Ponies bustled about on the streets, moving from destination to destination, going about their daily business. Twilight turned and began walking back to the center of the room, but something she heard stopped her. It sounded like somepony calling her name! Twilight opened her window and was met with the angered faces of the Apple sibilings.

"Twilight! Ah got a bone ta' pick with you!" Applejack was fuming, her face as red as the apples on her flank. She was carrying a...was that a peach? Twilight's eyes lit up at the sight of the fruit's sheen in the sunlight.

"Where'd you get that peach, Applejack? The market's been dry for days!" Twilight was drooling, leaning out the window a little too far, resulting in a graceless tumble into the bushes outside. She felt a strong hoof around her midsection as she was lifted out of the bushes by Big Macintosh. The stallion had a look of unrest and pent-up anger. Something was amiss.

"Miss Twilight, Ah'm sorry fer the interruption, but maybe ya could explain why all our apple trees are sporting these...aberrations." Mac spoke calmly, though his voice had an uneasy edge, as though he would lash out given the proper motivation.

"Aberrations?! How can you possibly-Wait! You said your trees are growing peaches?" Twilight rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. "I think I may have something to do with that..." She grinned sheepishly.

"Darn right you do! Ah want mah trees back! That there's a chance to lose profit, an' ah won't let it go unfixed!" Applejack stomped her hoof in anger, leaving a nasty mark on the earth under her. Big Mac held a hoof in front of Applejack.

"Sis, maybe y'all need to calm down just a mite. Yer causin' a scene." Mac spoke with embarrassment over his sister's reaction.

"CALM DOWN? Ya want me to calm down, when Twilight here just ruined this year's cider crop? Ah'll tell ya what. Twilight, ya fix this today, or ya can just see yourself back to Canterlot, where ya can't mess another pony's crop up again!" Applejack stormed off, headed toward Whitetail Woods.

"I...I...I didn't mean..." Twilight was on the verge of tears, having ruined her friend's livelihood, and possibly her friendship. "I just...just wanted...p..p..peaches!" Twilight broke down in the street, beside Big Mac, who regarded her with a saddened look.

"Miss Twilight, while ah can't vouch for mah sister, ah believe ya can bring back our apples. They disappeared in a flash of purple, and AJ got carried away. She was throwin' a right old fit, almost broke mah favorite tree. Please, Miss Twilight, whatever you've done, try to undo it before mah sister does something she'll regret. Ah trust ya to do the right thing." Mac shrugged, gave Twilight a quick hug and turned to go find Applejack, Twilight presumed.

"What have I done?" Twilight face-hoofed and began the long walk out to Sweet Apple Peach Acres, as she had heard ponies gossiping and referring to the farm in town along the way. Twilight arrived at the gate and opened it, and when she crested the hill, her eyes expanded wide.

The entire orchard, from field to field was completely dominated by peach-growing apple trees. Twilight's stomach rumbled while she fought the desire to eat till she burst. A short trot later, and she stood under one of the larger trees, bearing peaches the size of grapefruits. She shook her head in awe, and used her magic to pluck a peach from the tree. Twilight opened her mouth and bit down.

A flood of flavor entered her mouth and she was overwhelmed by the sheer juiciness of the peach she held in her grasp. Before she could get a hold of herself, the ground around her was littered with peach pits, and the tree was sadly bare. Her stomach grumbled again, clearly not satisfied with the meager supply it had received. Twilight's eyes settled on the next tree over, and the process began again.

On and on, Twilight rendered the trees free of fruit, leaving a flood of peach pits and fallen leaves in her wake. Her belly had been expanding slowly since her journey to PeachLand began, and she was feeling the effects now. "Ugh...it feels like I could burst at the seams! But those peaches...So good..." Twilight mumbled, rolling onto her hooves again. As she was standing again, a rustle in the leaves behind her revealed a slightly redder Applejack than previously. She had her lasso in hoof and meant hell for whatever pony or creature was eating her crop. Her face lost some of its color as she smirked at the bloated unicorn.

"Well, it seems ah found the culprit of the missing crop! Twilight, ah thought I made it clear ya were supposed ta fix my trees, not eat all my fruit!" Applejack still sounded sore, but she chuckled as she saw Twilight's belly. "Ah reckon you've sated your peach hunger, sugarcube?" Applejack smirked and scowled immediately after. "Still ain't fixed mah trees yet, Twi', ah reckon you've got a spell to fix this...right?"

"Er...yes, I actually have a counterspell in my head but I can't guarantee it'll work." Twilight shrugged and lit her horn, casting the counter and attempting to return the peaches to the bountiful apples they had once been. A quick flash later, and Applejack was still staring at a field of peaches. "Wha...But I did it all the right way! I quadruple checked my facts and tested it at home even! It should have worked...unless...I got it!" Twilight lit her horn and a parchment, quill, and ink floated before her.

The quill scribbling away, Twilight found herself lost in calculations. She almost missed what Applejack had said.

"Ah..Ah'm sorry sugarcube, ah shouldn't have told you to go away, yer one of mah best friends. Ah'm sorry I let a silly mistake almost cost us that friendship." Applejack glanced away from Twilight, her cheeks tinged with embarrassment. "Let me make it up to ya, sugarcube. Whatever ah can do to keep you as mah friend." Applejack was teary-eyed, looking at the bookworm. The scribbling had stopped, the quill positioned above the inkwell, never dipping into it. Twilight dropped her parchment and supplies, their purpose long forgotten.

"Oh Applejack...I could never hold it against you! I mean this was entirely my fault. I cast the spell, it's up to me to fix the mess I've made." Twilight hugged Applejack softly, letting the mare get her frustrations out. "In fact, I have an idea that just might work for us both." Twilight grinned a Discordian smile, plotting away at another plan.

"Well, sugarcube? Ah ain't got all day!"

---

Applejack counted the bits in her money chest, letting the golden pieces fall back to the myriad more already accounted for. "Three thousan' fifty five...Three thousan' sixty!" By Celestia's beard, we can afford Granny's new hip and build a new silo. Shucks, Twi', Ah never pinned you as a business mare!" Applejack patted Twilight on the back, who was gorging on a succulent peach straight from the orchard.

"Well it was simple, really. The market had no supply of peaches, and Peach Fuzz's stand wasn't bringing her any more income. Now, she has stock, your apple trees have their crop growing back, you get a large portion of the funds, and I get to eat peaches! All! Day! Long!" Twilight found herself giggling like a schoolfilly. "It's the perfect win-win-win!"

"Ah reckon so, sugarcube, ah reckon so." Applejack smiled at Twilight. The situation had fixed itself quite well. Applejack profited from selling the peaches in market, through Peach Fuzz. Applejack would receive 70% compensation, in return for discounted apple prices for Peach Fuzz. All in all, Applejack considered it a victory. A strange, yellow-red, fuzzy victory. With a sigh and a tip of her hat, the two mares watched the bits roll in and the sun make its majestic setting in the west.

The Peach-Pocalypse, as the town would call it in later months, was over. Many brave fruits had lost their skins to the ruthless mouth of Twilight Sparkle, their lifeless husks deposited all across Sweet Apple Acres. Their bretheren would thrive and continue on, growing on the tree that now sat in Twilight's backyard. It had been a fight to get Applejack to let her keep one, but Twilight was a tough stone to budge.

Ponyville had survived 'The day Twilight Sparkle ate peaches.' a day filled with fruity casualties and sore stomachs, a day that would find itself written in history as Peachment Day.

---

Celestia cackled with laughter at the latest letters sent from Ponyville, particularly the one from Applejack. This 'Peach-Pocalypse' as they were calling it, had been the latest of ridiculous afflictions the town weathered. "LUNA!"

"Yes, sister?" Luna poked her head into the throne room.

"Come, sit Luna. Have I told you about Peachment Day?" Celestia's laughter only got louder.

Author's Note:

Well, Obs, you sly mod you. I don't write at 3 am for just anyone!

Here's my shameless Twilight Eats A Peach story.

It was coming regardless, you all know it.

The Peachpocalypse is upon us!

Comments

[Cerulean Voice]

YES!
All bow before the mighty juiciness of the incredible Sweet Peach Acres!

[Dash The Stampede]

3645254
I did say soon, but dayum. And it was approved by Obs no less! I have the big man's approval!

Let the Peachpocalypse begin...

[Cerulean Voice]

3645258
Obs won't be getting any sleep tonight...

[Dash The Stampede]

3645270
Self-brought Peachment Day, bro. He understood the risks involved. And he's doing it like a champ! Taking the brunt of the peachy goodness so we don't have to.

We praise you, oh great Santa man, for you have shown your favor to our peachy overlords!

[Antor]

dayum, peaches are out of season, and now I CRAVE for one

[Dash The Stampede]

3645287
Blame Obs. Well not really. Blame me for writing about a fruit I don't even eat! Hah, well if you mosey down to your local supermarket, I believe they'll have some. I've seen some at my work.

Hopefully your peachy hunger was sated by my tale

[Enix]

Needs more peaches.
More...
Peaches...
MORE!

[Dash The Stampede]

3645315
Soon, my child...Soon.

The Peachy Overlords send their invasion craft posthaste, this is but the beginning!

Teach the Peach!

[Antor]

3645307
I think I'll head on to the supermarket and get one can of peaches... the soft meaty texture, the swEet flavor mixed with the joy of the syrup in which they bath gaily... my taste buds are crying tears of joy at the sole thought

PS. I read the blog post, it may be the one singular event that changed ponydom forever!

PPS. peachlight is now in third position as my favorite ship

[Dash The Stampede]

3645334

the sweat flavor

Gotta keep up those bodily salts, eh? that or stop working your peaches so hard

[Antor]

3645338
let me just... edit that
my only excuse is that at some point after the party yesterday night I decided it was a good idea to read pony instead of sleeping

[Dash The Stampede]

3645341
I'm up all night too! I've been up since 8am yesterday! Damn adrenaline rushes from posting new stuff
anyhoo..
Thanks for reading!

[Antor]

3645345
I'm caressing a short story idea from quite a while, if posting stuff is half as good as a canned peach I should just get to it and write it down!

[Lag Incarnate]

Man, I don't even like peaches, but damn if they aren't funny.

Now for a crossover with a certain Roald Dahl story...

[Dash The Stampede]

3645372
Hey, man I feel you. I don't like peaches. But that just makes it funnier to write about. If I've done well, I blame it being 3 am at time of posting.

I could've thought of that but this was much funnier.

[Lag Incarnate]

3645388
I doubt she would have made it five miles out, let alone the whole ocean.

[Moonshine The Brony]

364537
You beat me too it!

[arancaytar]

"Ah reckon you've sated your peach hunger, sugarcube?"

MORE. PEACHES.

[Dash The Stampede]

3645635
Where was this guy? I haven't even been here for 90 weeks yet! I'm so confused.

[Dash The Stampede]

3645392
...I don't..
Ah dunno..

Oh. OH! AHA you sly fool you! had me goin for a minute there.
What makes you think she'd let it hit the water in the first place? That fruit's day is over.

[Seether00]

Well that story was just peachy.

[Dash The Stampede]

3646614
Aren't they all?
Watch out, I've got a fourth installment in the Twilight Eats Peaches universe working its way through the mods as we speak. It's a darrrrk one though, Be warned.

I can't believe I've Still got ideas for PeachVerse fics running through my head!

[Moonshine The Brony]

3645681
Im confused too.

[Dash The Stampede]

3647250
Well, you replied to a guy who apparently commented 90 something weeks ago to some other story, but I don't know how that happened! Thanks for the praise, though, if that was the intent.

Ah well, Peaches to write, fics to post

[Moonshine The Brony]

3647260
Oh. Doesn't say 90 weeks anywhere for me. Anyways, I'll be reading your other stories now!

[Moonshine The Brony]

3645665

Buy some peaches!

[Fugly Duckling]

Getting reeeeeaaaall tired of your peaches, peachy

[King Pandarius]

Soon my friends...Soon we will burn this world...Burn it with Peaches! It will RAIN Peaches! We will rule...With the peach...

[Dash The Stampede]

3650934
Be warned,
The End Is Near..

Every Peach For Itself!