Hi my name is Max. Long story short I came home from work to find 12 mares from the show My little pony. Ya im a brony,so this was a dream come true,or have I gotten into something way over my head?
QUICK! DISLIKE ANY COMMENT THAT SAYS ANYTHING POSITIVE ABOUT THE STORY!
ACTUALLY DISLIKE EVERY COMMENT WHY NOT!? DISLIKE MINE TOO! DISLIKE OP'S! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LOVE AND TOLERATE! I USED TO WONDER WHAT FRIENDSHIP COULD BE!
You use "I" at the first word of every sentence way too much. Also you have way too many grammatical errors and it's really hard to read, both content wise and grammar wise.
I think my only complaints are a few small grammatical errors that can be fixed by a once over, how the ponies were just okay with ending up in another world; which adding a few more chapters in the beginning showing how they were adjusting to the new world, and the last is just kinda how fast this story is going; other than those the story is fine.
incorporating the title in to the chapter clever devil
QUICK! DISLIKE ANY COMMENT THAT SAYS ANYTHING POSITIVE ABOUT THE STORY!
ACTUALLY DISLIKE EVERY COMMENT WHY NOT!? DISLIKE MINE TOO! DISLIKE OP'S! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LOVE AND TOLERATE! I USED TO WONDER WHAT FRIENDSHIP COULD BE!
good one!
what next chapter life after people?
You use "I" at the first word of every sentence way too much. Also you have way too many grammatical errors and it's really hard to read, both content wise and grammar wise.
Um, *nervous chuckle* that escalated quickly...
3677672 yes I must agree but come on you made me wake up everyone in my house with the did you like my banana part sigh until next time
Judging by the way this story is written you are about 13
Your grammar sucks ass
That was a awesome read and funny to.
I think my only complaints are a few small grammatical errors that can be fixed by a once over, how the ponies were just okay with ending up in another world; which adding a few more chapters in the beginning showing how they were adjusting to the new world, and the last is just kinda how fast this story is going; other than those the story is fine.