Equestria was created by Night Eyes and Wildfire. From darkness came the light of the kingdom. But the Two knew that Equestria could not exist with out darkness. So they created Him.
Many eons past since the first day. Night Eyes had two little fillies, Celestia and Luna(honestly, did I really have to tell you their names? 
). It was a happy time for the kingdom, and everypony celebrated. But the Darkness was to come forth for his turn to rule. Night Eyes and Wildfire knew that. And so was the greatest tragedy of Equestria yet to come.
Author's Note:
Despite the cover art, this has very little (if not nothing) to do with King Sombra.
Chapters (1)
Not bad.
I noticed a few errors, but they were small. Easy to fix.
The story did feel a bit rushed in some places though.
Like here;
I would stretch out the sadness they felt. Try to really convey that feeling. That gets people hooked; the ability to relate or feel.
Oh, and those little emoticons kill the flow a bit. Just describe their feeling of being overpowered by their parents instead of using Applejack.
On the other hand, the idea is fantastic. I'd love to see the next chapter.
3614537 Thanks for the feedback I'm still new at fanfics and I'll try to edit it a little. I also wrote nearly the whole thing on my iPhone so auto-correct was a problem as well along with small keys and screen. Also, the next chapter won't be until maybe the 20th as I have to focus on mid-term exams and winter ballet recitals. Expect chapter 1 to pop up around the 21-22 weekend
Well I like how this puts that darkness wall ghost into a viable character, and you seem to want to want to exploit this character as a way of embodying the fall of equestrian society if I'm understanding the alternate description right. Seem like a tangible plot, if somewhat stretched. It did feel really rushed at the part where their parents got killed. I didn't realize the do net and flight lasted all of the night they must have ran miles and miles. I dont onow if that was the impression you were trying to give that's but what I got. And I can emphatize with typing on small screens, I swear I'm getting arthritis due to fimfiction on my thumbs to make it worse my screens cracked but screw it some stories on here are good enough to publish.like harmony theory.
3629902 didn't mean to give you that impression that they had run that long so far. Can't explain how time works in cartoon worlds