One thousand years ago, Luna was taken over by Nightmare Forces and sent to the moon. She left her sister, their parents and a two week old daughter behind.
Now the seal is about to break and Nightmare Moon will be free once more. Will Twilight be able to free her mother from the Nightmare's grasp?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I've read several stories where Luna is Twilight's mother. However, I wanted to put a slightly different spin on mine.
*WARNING* The Prologue has a death scene in it. I haven't selected the "Death" tag because the description isn't graphic at all . . . and there is none of that in the rest of the story.
Main Original Characters (OC)
Sundance- Celestia and Luna's mother
Midnight Armor- Celestia and Luna's father
Solae- Spike's Mother
Bern- Spike's Father
Emerald- Sundance's Mother
Ocean- Sundance's Father
Honey- Midnight Armor's Mother
Dark Flame- Midnight Armor's Father
10/5/2018 *It's in the Feature Box!* Thank you so much!
10/6/2018 It's still in the Feature Box! Thank you. I'm glad that everyone likes my story.
Cover art belongs to Evehly and can be found here https://www.deviantart.com/evehly/art/C-I-m-Here-Now-581883274
If the author asks, I will take it down.
I'm torn between leaving this story as is and adding more to it.
Thoughts?
9211690
I mean you only have three chapters and I haven't gotten to reading this yet I just saw your comment I'll get back to you when I find time to read it.
You could let it stay like this and if you wish to push the story further, you could make a sequel then, just an idea
Anyway its a really good story so far, well done
Great story my friend. I really enjoyed reading it. More please...
This hits me right in the feels. More please
Nice twist with twilight
9211690
Keep going but take your time please
9211690
Well i just read all the chapters and i would love to see more, but if you think you should end it i would be fine with that as well. Either choice you make I will be happy with.
Well I read it it's pretty good I can see you have a prologue to tie up a few loose ends of this arc then you could possibly write a sequel for the start of a new arc.
sayingimages.com/wp-content/uploads/do-it-emperor-palpatine-meme.jpg
What's this? A story dealing with Luna's daughter that then time-skips ahead a thousand years? Color me very interested!
(because, well... I'm doing something similar, so I had to read) You have a fun concept. Good luck in your continuance. Maybe we can trade comments on our stories? Let me know, or PM me if you took a look and have some interest to reciprocate.
-Sparkle Cola
I'm more interested now in how Cadance fits into this. Unless you retconned her out of existance.
Little do they know that, because of Zecora’s potion, Twilight’s older self is watching the whole time. Also, a powerful gem that disappears somewhere once it’s used in it’s most powerful form? I’ve never seen that before. *cough cough* Chaos Emeralds. *cough cough* Yeah, I know that was probably unintentional. Just making a joke.
this story is good i think you should have more of it
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That was completely unintentional . . . I actually had to Google Chaos Emeralds because I had no idea what you were talking about. As for the part about Zecora's potion, I never thought about that. Its an amusing thought, but I don't think I'll go that route.
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Be interesting if she's the one we see ascend instead of Twilight.
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A lot of people have been saying that, so I will be continuing this. However, I plan to write the next chapter of my other story first.
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cool this story is worth it good luck with the next chapter in your other story
Very well done, I see a lot of potential here and I definitely see a lot more work that can be added on, even some new adventures if you so choose.
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Yes, yes the whol Celestia/Palpatin joke is old.
But you should be asking yourself;
"Do I feel Troled?"
Well do you, punk?
9211690
You should add more chapters it's really good so far :3
why the story is nice i think some tme spent in the past would help like did Twilight ever call Clestia or one of the maids mom
I absolutely love this story
I would like to see where you go with this
While this could be ended here, it also feels so wrong to think that way. MORE PLEASE!
This is very interesting for sure. I was honestly hoping you would have made Spike older. I mean if Twilight have been around for so long and even Celestia kept his egg for hundreds of years I was hoping Spike would be around teenage dragon level or something. Also is Spike more of a pet to
Twilight or a son? I just mean I thought Luna would see him as a grandchild when she heard it all. Lol idk I guess even tho this is a really good story I just wanted to see more of Spike or have him have a larger role this time. I mean he is more or less a Prince this time think how epic it would be for him to be in a love triangle with Ember and Rarity lol. But with how old you made him that might be hard..... On the other hand I mean dragons and alicons are pretty much immortal so age isn't really a issue for these two races. Even more so since Spike was hatch/super charged with alicorn magic at that.
Good start. I like where you're going with this. I'll be reading more as soon as Ive had the time.
What is it with TwiLuna and also being ok with them as mother/daughter..?
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I joined this site because I liked the shipping stories. I've read other pairings for Twilight, but TwiLuna is my favorite. However, I've also read a few of the stories where Twilight is Luna's daughter. For some reason, I like that idea as well . . . just not at the same time.
9211690
After reading this, and enjoying it much, I do not believe more needs to be added to it regardless, as I said this was an enjoyable little thing, and I fun reading it.
It's an interesting idea, but unless Twilight is aging really slowly, some parts make it seem like she is 20 instead of 1000.
9214798
Thank you. As for Twilight's personality, she isn't aging slowly and is a thousand years old. That's just how I wanted to write her in this story.
Nice tie-in from 'Winter Wrap Up'.
Did her hooves even touch the ground?
Interesting so far. Let's see what happens next?
Ooook O_O that's a really interesting prologue, 0u0 you have all my attention with only the prologue, I mean ... hey, Luna married and her daughter is nothing more and nothing less than twilight?
also the fact that she would not let herself be corrupted by envy, as is the typical thing, but because of pain ... and to remedy her screw-up, she lets herself be banished ... 0u0 that was a nice touch
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Understandable. It's a good story and I look forward to more.
It's just... She's a 1000 year old scholar. Wouldn't she be the family teacher by now? Wouldn't she remember when cameras were invented and thus know they weren't around when she was born? And in all that time she never once asked to see what her mother looked like?
What you have works well for the story, but several times I had to remind myself that she's much older then she seems.
xD Twilight could have a thousand years if she want ... but she is terribly kaway ... I mean, all excited about her classes ... and I thought of her as a tender little helpless animal when she realized she would not have them.
and it was a detail that, in fact, she knew well that she had a mother but she did not know her, instead of something like Celestia is your mother Twilight.
and I liked how you treated the issue of the meeting with all and others, it was not the same as we are tired of reading in the series, but rather you relied on it to organize them but you gave them another focus.
xD Did anyone else think that Celestia, Midnight and Sundaze were more like the commentators of soccer games than the royal family? is that really, they gave all the paint, just missing, and Messy scored a goal !!!!!
0.o and give it that Twilight is a good beast to fight head-on against Nightmare Moon ... ¬_¬ and the other crazy do not stay behind ... I mean, applejack a tremendous kick in the jaw, rainbow took it from sack boxing, flutter with birds with rabies, -u- Pinkie shot cupcakes, xD and rarity made a coat to her horn ...
0-o the only thing that I should stress is that the reunion of Twilight and Luna was very bland ... I mean a thousand years without seeing her and nu more than the a hug and caress ... sincerely i was expected a super talk between mother and daughter at be that amount of time separated, and more taking in count that Twi almost did not know her ...
although maybe I'm getting ahead and that comes later.
0u0 but it was a nice chapter
I know I know, but I'm kind of glad we don't have to deak with a father in this story.
Before Luna started to talk again I wasn't sure if it was worse or not that Celestia banished her when she was not even really Luna in this story, now I guess it's okay.
Well Are the parents dead as well in the future? I just don't want to deal with them maybe being turned into NIghtlide and whatever Twilights mother was called again this time.
To be blunt, I found this hard to read, and couldn't get past the Prologue. The structure is a disjointed mess, and I had to reread parts just to understand what was going on.
What really broke it for me was the author's need to hold my hand to warn me that a death scene was coming, when a simple death tag would have been sufficient. That brought me right out of the story and broke my suspension of disbelief and totally ruined what little flow the story had. If you feel the need to do something like that, there are better and less patronizing ways to do it. Not all of us are special snowflakes in need of a safe space.
And if you are of the very small minority that would actually need a warning like this, then you have issue that should be addressed by a professional.
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Good enough.
I read that as "Celestia turned white"...
My thoughts went into the direction of 'that's rasist' to 'wait... Isn't Celestia white?'
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Um . . . it clearly says that Celestia's eyes turned white. Please don't insinuate things that I never intended.
Kinda funny since a pony's eyes are already fucking HUGE!
I do believe nightmare Moon has found herself in a sticky situation
I really like this :000
It's really good and the concept is amazing imo!
Am I the only one that finds it funny that Twilight was sent to make sure the Summer Sun Celebration was on time (at least that is what Celestia told her) and due to circumstances, the celebration is still late?
Mother and daughter having Tuna snuggles. Cute place to finish
Great set of chapters so far. Nice spin on the mother/daughter story I’m looking forward to more.
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I agree. I finished the prologue and 1/4 of chapter 1 but, well, it's just a mess. =/ Things seem to move too quickly with too little explanation. The pacing is just... all over the place. It feels really weird to just jump forward 1000 years in a story like this where Twilight is actually around the whole time. She's a thousand years old but still acts like a child? Her aunt and grandparents all speak to her like she's a child too. Did she not grow up at all? What were they doing during all those years? How did Twilight's presence affect things? Spike is mentioned, but there's no info about who he is, why he's there, or what his role is.
I really wanted to like this, since Twilight and Luna are my two favorite characters and I find the "Luna is Twilight's mother" angle to be an interesting one when handled well. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case with this story.
9211690
I have never been the best at giving advise, but you should only continue, if you one have an idea and, most importantly want to continue. I don't specifically write fanfiction, but I have found it easy to get talked into something you regret ether immediately if not shortly after.