• Member Since 18th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 21st, 2017

Klonoahedgehog


I'm from Puerto Rico and Mlp is one of my favorite cartoons, my favorite Video Games are Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokemon.

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This story is a sequel to Digimon Crusaders


A week after the events of Digimon Crusaders, things seems to be back at peace in the Digital world, and the trio of Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie belle look forward to spending some down time with their Digimon friends. But all is not what it seems, suddenly insect like creatures that can change into anyone, the changelings! Begin attacks on the Digital world and it's up to AppleBloom and Coronamon to rise up to the challenge once again and take on the challenge!

But in order to stop them they need to unlock more powerfull Digivolutions, the Champion and ultimate levels, maybe even further beyond!

This story was originally written in 2012 so some things might be outdated. But i enjoyed writing this anyway and i hope you enjoy it.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 10 )

Alright! Looking good so far! A few problems, but I think we can fix that with a little checklist. Please don't take this as mean or anything, but rather something you can use to better your story. I'm actually making a Digimon story myself (you can check it out by clicking here), so if you'd like to see that for reference, be my guest!

- Spelling is good, so no fault there, but grammar could use a bit of work. Having a small sentence before a quote isn't a great idea, but that can easily be fixed. I'm slightly more concerned with some of the unnecessary commas and periods in a few places. Look over your work and you should find a few of them here or there. Easily fixable stuff, no worries!

- Always indent your paragraphs. If you don't know what an indent is, that's okay, I only recently learned of them myself. Basically, press tab whenever you begin a new paragraph. You don't HAVE to to this, of course, but it does look nicer on your story.

- Have your quotes in past-tense. If you also don't know what this is, I again don't blame you, this is pretty advanced stuff. Basically, a past-tense is a phrase that takes place after an event, whereas a pretense is something that happens currently or in the future. For example, instead of "Twilight looks back at him with a glare, and then she picks up the egg", try "Twilight looked back at him with a glare before picking up the egg". This makes your story look, apologies for lack of a better term, more professional.

I know I've been seemingly bombing on your story this entire time, but I can safely say that you have a great grasp on what you want your plot to be, and this is good! An author with a plan is a good author. And hey, don't feel bad. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has to start somewhere. I mean, just look at me and MY first story "My Little Pony: The After Years". I mashed together everything I could into it, and it was terrible. :rainbowlaugh:

Keep up the good work mate, and I hope to hear from you soon!

6543553
Thanks for the tips, i'll try to make use of them in the future. :D
Honestly i never noticed the pointless comas and stuff before thanks for pointing that out.

6822342 I have some stuff i have to do first, but i'll start working on it soon.

That is a great chapter my friend and I can't wait for more uploads to this story soon I'll be waiting my friend and keep me posted about the story chapter

7812994 Thank you, sorry for taking so long. I kind of lost motivation for a while but after seeing Digimon Adventure Tri and Digimon Universe reinvigorated me to work on this.

7813253 that's great news my friend and I can't wait to read the next upload for this story I'll be waiting my friend and keep me posted on the story

I know it's been a while but is there any hope of this story continuing?

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