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(dis)Like what you read? Tell me why! ~Super
While practicing flying, Twilight looks back on the wonderful life she's lived so far, and wonders what the future holds.
Inspired by a line in Obsolescence's blog post On Being Prolific. If you haven't checked out his stuff, you probably should.
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Jesus, that ending felt rather sudden. What happened to all the friendship? Although it does raise the question of an alicorn can die by falling.
Overall, the story was rather consistently written throughout and pretty decent. In paragraph four I saw once instance of "wish" when the word should have been "wished."
You have GOT to be kidding me...
~Skeeter The Lurker
3567534 Well, hitting the ground does occur pretty suddenly., and fixed the typo, thanks.
3567552 You better believe it.
Honestly I didn't like it. Ending was sudden and considering all we've seen on the show nonsensical. Two seconds after this story ends Twilight gets back off with a total damage rating of freaking nothing.
3567600 Thank you for sharing why you didn't like it. I do however disagree with you regarding implausibility. The show writers have indicated that Twilight is not necessarily immortal, and we see in A Canterlot Wedding and The Crystal Empire that Cadance can definitely get bruised, worn out, strained, hurt, etc. Most of the crashes we've seen Twilight in were from a hundred feet at max. Here she is falling in a downward spiral from several thousand feet at terminal velocity. I'm sure that could kill her.
But, that's just my opinion.
3567604 No problem, as a writer myself I thinks it`s good to receive some critical reviews. Also Rainbow Dash has hit solid rock at incredible speeds and Twilight has had pianos smashed over her skull.
Absolutely wonderful. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we like to call "The Suckerpunch". Excellent work, sir.
3567860 I'm glad you felt that effect! Thanks'
Gee I wasn't expecting that!
Good work, but I noticed a few mistakes.
3568183 care to mention where you saw them? maybe give me a little hint?
Had to re-read the last parts and think about it for a minute before it clicked that the injured wing was from the current flight and she was in free-fall due to her injury. Then it made sense.
Though I'd nitpick that she should still be perfectly fine. Twilight could self-levitate even before she ascended. In fact, since she grew up as a unicorn, I'd even suggest that using magic to recover from the free-fall would be her first instinct.
But we'll handwave that with the idea that her injury left her too distracted for magic. And once we set that objection aside, my thoughts just come down to it being somewhat stronger if you had cut some of the "Past" section, or otherwise shortened that part in favor of the others.
3583103 Thanks for the feed back. I'll admit, this is a pretty gimmicky piece. I suppose a more skilled author than I could have made it more powerful perhaps. And yes, you aren't the first to take issue with Twilight going splat. Have a nice day!
You had me at "Inspired by a line in Obsolescence's blog post". And the lone tag, tragedy, that was a great way to grab readers' interest.
3568664
Ooh, I've got it! "Laying" should be "lying", and I don't think you can use "earthpony" as an adjective—well, I don't think I've ever seen it as a single word at all. For how you want to use it to describe the word "strength", I'd hyphenate it as "earth-pony". Then you've got a perfectly cromulent compound modifier! 
why does the description say she wonders what the future holds
all she does is note to herself what the future cannot hold
what the future holds is pretty darn apparent
3599988 thanks. I fixed those.
And yeah, that description mayyy be a mite bit misleading.
we know
distance=.5(9.81m/s/s)(time squared)
so
after 10 secs
the d traveled would be
4.905(100)
or 490.5 meters
or 1609.25 feet
so about 80 stories.
clouds usually form about 14km above earth. Therefore...
you get the point she's not dead. they've seen worse.
3795146 dude that's cool you actually worked out the math I was too lazy to do. However, in the show often times the Pegasi (mostly rainbow dash) hang out on clouds much closer to the ground.
3795146 also, I never said she was dead. Maybe a sequel is coming. ;)
This...
I love one shots with punchlines like this. I absolutely love them. This one, especially, is awesome.
I don't think anyone would really be thinking so many things in ten seconds as they fall to their deaths. Maybe one thing, or two things. Maybe the thing they most prominently regret. But I imagine that the first thing they'd feel would be 'confusion (I'm falling?)' then either 'panic' (OH MY GOD SOMEONE HELP ME!)' or desperation ('Fly up, fly up, fly upppp!!!'), then 'horror' ('I DUN WANNA DIE!!!') then splat.
Those sorts of thoughts are the thoughts people think during calm. Like before an execution, or when one is starving to death.
None of this hurts the story in any way; it's just an afterthought/realization I had after reading it.
5487219 thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
look for a longer sequel to come out... Sometime in 2015, hopefully?
I suspect she's not dead. Fluttershy survived a fall from a much greater height (most pegasi hang out closer to the ground, but Cloudsdale is waaay up there) by falling onto a swarm of butterflies.
That being said, I'm sure she's unconscious, she's probably broken most of her bones, and she probably thought she was going to die, so it still works.
6813494 someday I'll finish writing the sequel where she becomes first a brain in a vat and then a cyborg because of her injuries