Of course Rainbow Dash would have saved Fluttershy if she knew her friend had fallen off that cloud during the pegasus race. But was doing the right thing the wrong thing? Has Rainbow Dash doomed all Equestria to eternal night by being herself?
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Oh my fucking god, i read the description and immediately thought :
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTBf0a2qqAu7FVyO_iNS7J6IJSD9kjYz22AQfdMaFp2X7QhsJ4G
That is a difficult choice! If Rainbow Dash saw her fall or if those Butterflies weren't there... THE MANE 6 NEVER WOULD HAVE MET IF SHE CHOSE TO SAVE HER... But if she didn't saver her they wouldn't be the MANE 6 They would be the Mane...5... Are our favorite ponies only together by sheer coincidence?! Was Chance and pure luck that brought these ponies together?!
Were those butterflies really the only factor that lead this Equation to its positive outcome? Would the mane 6... (or 5, depending on the choice that was made) have met differently because them being the elements of Harmony, they would met and be friends simply because of destiny? Would Other ponies become the Elements of Harmony if our 6 friends had never met?
WHAT WOULD FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC BE LIKE IF IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE BUTTERFLIES?!
Cheers
~iralqobstah
As the years go by, a brown colt with an hourglass cutie mark is found dead, Luna takes over Equestria, and the sun fades forever. Then, Rainbow Dash is approached by a secret government organization and is sent back in time to make herself finish the race instead of saving Fluttershy.
For anyone who doesn't get the reference, it's Turn Left from Dr Who.
ΔΓ
Poor poor Twilight and RD.
You're off to a great start. Equestria is in for a big surprise just before dawn.
Watch out for your punctuation, it sorta threw me off a little bit.
>>IraqLobstah: I almost made an even smaller change to the continuity to get the result I wound up with. You'll probably get a hint at it next chapter. I do though think that the best changes are always the smallest because they can have such a surprisingly large impact
>>Delta Gamma: So would that make Discord a weeping angel?
>>ianmoone: Yeah they did get the short end of the stick in this story. But when I watched Cutie Mark Chronicles a few times to really plan all this out it just kept leaping out at me that they were the ones who would lose the most if Rainbow Dash never did the Sonic Rainboom.
>>i_am_the_jam: Punctuation is my Achilles Heel. I've gotten much better at it over the years, some of my earliest writings make me want to hurl now. But if I'm ever driven to get a pre/beta reader it would be because of that. Not that desperate quite yet.
Well, this is an interesting turn of events. I do wonder why no one associated Nightmare Moon with the Nightmare Night celebration...
"Celestia's personal student Trixie." I like it.
357055
If trixie somehow manages to get the element of magic instead... i would be so disappointed in this .... but seeing twilight dragged along on the adventure with trixie in the mix could be interesting.... Kinda hoping for some awesome discovery scenes with RD and Twilights cutie marks too... and love the portrayal of worried twilights thoughts...
>>i_am_the_jam: No one in Mare in the Moon seemed to recognize Nightmare Moon aside from Twilight Sparkle so I just rolled with that. I suspect it's probably that Nightmare Night is rather stylized. If you took Halloween costumes and put them up against the origins of their legends I think it could happen that the real deal walks in and nobody recognizes it.
>>Flutterkiin & sarokcat: I want to respond, but spoilers! I do promise though that you won't be left hanging for long.
You seem to jump a little in the action.
And where did the posters come from?
>>i_am_the_jam: Not quite sure where the jumps are. Parts of it are supposed to be a bit jerky since Twilight Sparkle has no clue what's going on and is getting large parts of this dumped on her. And like I said I originally drafted Twilight sneaking into and out of her apartment. It was repetitive, kind of boring, and didn't add much to the story so it died a horrible death at the hands of the delete button.
You've caught me in kind of a bind with the posters question. I do plan to bring that sort of topic up next chapter and answer it but now it kind of sounds like I forgot it this chapter. And I can't prove it definitively without sending you my whole outline and spoiling the whole story. So I'll give you half of the answer that cropped up this chapter. Nightmare Moon already has lots of adherents among the lowest classes of pony society. They're uneducated in large not stupid. So she can get her followers to step into lots of roles as needed. There's another half of the answer but it would spoil part of next chapter so you'll have to wait for that.
ok this is definitely starting to get interesting now. Seriously enjoying this story and can't wait to see where it goes from here now that the elements are all together at last. Also loving the interaction between the elements and looking forward to seeing how that develops now, especially with Reporter Applejack and the others.... And the blank flanks Twilight and Rainbow...
This is one of the better 'no Sonic Rainboom' stories I've read. Keep up the good work
Dark story, man. Fairly grim fates they've had, especially poor Twilight. But I have to say it's a very interesting twist on the story you've made. I'll be watching this one.
???
What happened?
Awesome chapter though
Dream sequence, I bet
Sweet, new chapter. I love this story, it's nice to see an alternate reality story with out the sonic rainboom. And I'm glad you didn't just go like 'no sonic rainboom=nopony gets a cutie mark' like others did. It keeps things fresh.
Keep up the good work!
Oooo... another missed opportunity at a Sonic Rainboom. then again, this is probably a bad time and place for it.
Granny Smith is best apple!
I loved the scene with her and Twilight.
I am so very sorry that your story is so under read,
its an amazing one!
I think that perhaps some of them would have heard of a zebra ambassador in Canterlot, maybe...
Now there's a showdown I've been waiting for. Go Rarity!
I swear i have no clue how this has so few likes. still one of the best takes on this type of story i have ever seen.
Not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but adding a [ h r ] between scenes would be very helpful. I caught myself having to go back and reread several times when a scene changed and there was nothing to indicate that. Other than that, good story so far.
Okay, lesson learned: DO NOT PISS OFF RARITY!!!!
Real intense battle scene between those two, I really like it.
I guess no one knows that memory spell...
Whoo! Backstory! I really liked the flashbacks, it gives Twilight's story some backbone.
an interesting and amusing finish. be kinda fun to see an epiloge or two for this.. but just leaving it here is awesome as well. Great story and quite entertaining!
Awesome. I am quite partial to the alternate universe stories because I had an idea for one a while ago, so it makes me happy to see one so well written, and even happier when it ends. Good job, Tortfeasor. I hope to see more good stories from you.
Interesting what would have ahappened if .. whoa
Excellent. And here I thought Twilight was going to defeat NM by convincing her that no one hated or feared the night anymore
awesome
Wow... It's over? Too bad actually, because I've greatly enjoyed this story. Thank you for writing such a compelling story.
This could definitely do with an epilogue or two, tie up loose ends here and there.
I really hope you end up writing another adventure story, because if it is even half as fun to read as this one, then I will be one happy person. I really liked how you didn't pull many punches when it came to what could have happened to everyone had things not gone as in the show. Very fun and exciting to read. Thanks for the awesome story!
Good story, wish trixie could have been redemed though.
Zis is surprising... I thought there would be more readers of this story.
Tis good to read something so refreshing.
When does Twilight start being badass?
760816
She'll do a rainboom before the end of this story
Good job, and great work. But one question of something I may have missed. Who hatched Spike since it was Twilight that hatched the baby dragon? I assume Trixie, but I wonder how since she never shown that advance form of magic as a adult, let alone a foal.
4032553
Honestly, I did not give much thought to that during the writing process. I assumed it away by figuring that either a: Celestia hatched him, or b: Spike hatched naturally.
This is amazing... Not only does it present an intriguing alternate reality, but this version of Equestria is much more mature (which is very refreshing) and (even if only a bit) less sheltered, there was more time for personality development, awesome fight scenes, and frankly, the story was overall badass. Dare i say it's better than the episode it's based on...
5595405
Thank you very much for the praise! Ironically, one of the things I would do if I had this story to do over again would be to add on a few more chapters to lengthen some of the character arcs that, in retrospect, I think I didn't make long enough. Hindsight, however, is 20/20, and, like I said, I appreciate the praise very much.
5598946 you know i love this story the main reason is trixie is portrayed as complete and total CUNT who is ungrateful ignorant and stuck up just the way i like her
th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/201/3/7/trixie_returns_by_blackamena-d57z7jo.jpg
357055 no you wont one word spike abuse
i know this is late and in the wrong chapter but this question i love when asked at interviews
where do you see yourself in five years if you get this job?”
my answer : living in your house, sleeping in your bed and F#@%ing your wife
908635 yeah its weird this story is really good if i had to complain about all i would say is its not long enough
306708 NAH it was all harmonys doing in getting flutters to live in cannon
760816 eyup nothin says HELLLLLLOOOOO NIGHTMARE MOON WE ARE HERE -----> quite like a giant halo of rainbow light and persistent rainbow contrail