Chapter 5
It took... Well, it took a while for Lex to stop screaming. Each of his hands finally moved down from the side of his bald head to take a deep breath.
“Smallville?!”
It was impossible! This didn’t make sense! Why here of all places?! You need to calm down and think, Lex. It wasn’t the end of the world. At least, he was back in Earth, and he could be free of this stupid land of-
“Something’s... Wrong.” Lex turned his head to the side, looking back at the sign. The population number made the robotic master frown. That was digit count was wrong. Maybe a few years ago, that number made sense. In fact, the population number was the exact same number when he was much youn-
“Not again!” Lex shouted again, finally realizing what was wrong. But that made no sense! How could it?! He looked down at his clothes to confirm it. Both eyes opened wide in shock. The clothes were dated. Even the expensive watch he wore looked antique by his standards. Both hands moved quickly to pat down his body frame. It felt smaller than he was used to as well. He quickly turned around, looking around for the others.
They were nowhere to be seen.
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“What just...” Kefka raised his eyebrows, looking around himself. The air was different, as the rest of the atmosphere. The magical energies he was used to were now gone. The clown emperor quickly looked down at both hands and found that his attire had changed as well. Gone was his colorful outfit, replaced by a cloth of a very soft material. It was much like a standard winter coat, the color of orange, but something was off from it. His pants had changed, much resembling the style of Wesker, save they were gray. And a ridiculous belt buckle. His shirt had black stripes, with buttons
“Well? What are you waiting for? You can go inside school now.”
School? What school?
Kefka opened his eyes wide, lifting his head up to look around for any kind of mirror. Unfortunately, there was none to be had since he was outdoors. He was in a parking lot, and the voice was coming from a female coming from some sort of vehicle. The teenage form of Kefka turned to look at the voice, hoping for a clue.
“What’s wrong? Why are you looking around?”
Kefka quickly relaxed his body, going into a hunch position and try to calm down and face Principal Celestia. Quickly, he reverted to his non-threatening stance, both hands moving to his chest and let his eyes relax.
“Um.... Yes?” Kefka answered, hoping he sounded meek enough.
“Honestly. You are becoming more like your father. Come on, can’t have my son late for school.”
Mom?!
“Er, Mom?” Kefka’s brain quickly begun to think of anything that could be useful to ask. And not sound weird or stupid. “What do you mean like Dad?”
“I’m sorry Norman,” Celestia sighed. “I bet you are anxious over the competition against your father’s school.”
Huh? Norman? Who in the name of Chaos was that?
_________________________________
Gilgamesh released a groan. You would think that world dimension hopping would have prepared him for such portal traveling. The right hand moved to hold his stomach, trying to sit up from his prone position.
“Are you ok?!”
“Huh?” Gilgamesh opened both eyelids slowly, trying to get used to voice. A female? What was going on? “I have had better days...”
“Can you get up?”
That voice again... Gilgamesh picked himself to stand on his feet, only to feel, straw? Gilgamesh lowered each of his hands down as his eyes were steady again.
“What manner of foul abomination is this?!” Gilgamesh squeaked out in hamster tongue. For a hamster, he was huge at least. At least his scarf was still on. But what was going on?
“Curtis? Did you eat too much pellets again?”
“Curtis?” Gilgamesh squeaked out, turning to look at the female hamster speaking to him. “My name is Gilgamesh!”
“I think Curtis is sick...”
A new voice? Gilgamesh turned to look as a hamster begun to crawl towards him. He finally turning to look around himself, seeing a giant city made of plastic. Straw lay all about, and dispensers of food and water hung from the side.
“Let’s hope Miss Fluttershy come back from school soon...” Another hamster spoke. “Maybe she can help him.”
“I will not be contained by this prison!” Gilgamesh the hamster squeaked out, running to tackle his large frame against the plastic.
“No, Curtis, don’t!”
To no avail, the warning of the female hamster went unheard as Gilgamesh rushed head first into the plastic tube. The resulting ‘bang’ sent the large hamster to bounce his head off and land on the ground of the hamster cage, passed out.
__________________________________
“That... That is a new one for me,” Xehanort spoke, trying to keep himself from falling over. He fell through a purplish portal, landing on his feet. Each hand rested on his knees, trying to keep steady. “What was... Hm.” Xehanort stopped himself, feeling extra weight on his shoulders. “A backpack, and glasses?”
The former sage had his left hand up, touching the large black spectacles on his face. A plain khaki colored backpack, with apparently purplish skin color. That was also unexpected. Xehanort quickly turned his head to the sides, looking around the area. Some sort of educational building, or so he guessed. Plenty of smells and clues that he was used to as a sage. A few students walking around though.
A glass case caught his attention, and he quickly turned to walk to it. Great, the glass case told him the name of the school along with other information regarding the academics and athletes. Nothing better to fit into a school than saying “Go team!” Afterall. After a second of studying though, he got a chance to inspect himself.
“I have hair?” Xehanort spoke out, confused by the turn of events. Glasses? Oh, for a scholar that was not strange. Think, lanky complexion? Also to be expected of a scholar. The odd color choices for his clothes? The 88 symbol on his coat? Nothing too strange, the number must have a special significance to this boy. The hair though... A beeping noise made the teen turned his head to the sides and look around. Inside his shirt pocket, a beeping sound along with a red light beckoned for him.
“A message for Poindexter? Is that my name?” Xehanort looked down at the text on the cellphone. “Who is Sunset? And why do I have an erection?” Oh wait, he had an erection?! When was the least time he had one of those?!
“Ah, it’s good to be young. Hmm, I’ve forgotten how to get rid of blue balls.”
____________________________________
“Where am I?” Wesker asked, lifting his eyebrows. So far, everything was ok. He felt the same height, the clothes on him felt comfortable, and even the shades were welcome on his face. The added sounds of a city that was alive also helped with his mood. The portal traveling did shake him up a bit, true, but he was Wesker damnit. He was a god! These normal plebian filth walked by, only smiling and giving him a nod. Let them live in their own little worlds.
“Well, at least this world doesn’t have colorful poni-”
Wesker visibly frowned behind the large shades, spotting humans with odd skin colors. And hair, while he was at it. Was this Japan?
“Hi officer!” A little child greeted the police officer.
Wesker sighed, forcing a smile on his face. At least in STARS he didn’t have to be a crossing guard. “Hello, little girl,” Wesker replied. He had no guns or weapons as a traffic cop. Also, his superior powers had left him, that much he could tell. Also, there was no telling who or what had control in this city. Did Umbrella exist here? Best to try to fit in until he could-
“What is with this infernal racket?!” Wesker shouted. That stupid music! It touched his soul! His entire body was forced to move with the grove. Each of his directing batons moved, his hips gyrating unconsciously to the mysterious sound.
A teen girl wearing headphones walked by, making the city flow with the funk.
“Damnit,” Wesker said as he directed traffic and danced.
____________________________________
“So... Nothing from your end either?” Twilight asked. Gathered around her, some other female and male students wearing the same school uniform as her. Octavia and Lyra were already with her, but a few others were gathered to practice before school for the decathlon.
“And no sign of the Principal or Vice-Principal,” Mr. Kratos added. The young history teacher had both arms on his chest, looking down at the students. Octavia though, couldn’t stop staring at his trimmed soul patch and face. “It’s not like them, and I can’t come into contact with the captain of the decathlon team.”
“So no answer from Dan either?” Lyra added. “Anyone have GPS on their phones for these guys?”
“Um, I’m not sure that would be allowed or legal,” Mr. Kratos added, eyebrows raised.
“Actually, are you guys missing some guys too?”
The new voice made them turn to look over at two girls. One had black hair tied on buns on the side of her head. The other girl had dark tanned skin with orange hair tied in a braided tail. Both were wearing cheerleading uniforms. With them, a young man with hair tied in a wolf tail and a male cheerleading uniform of blue.
“Sokka?” Lyra asked, tilting her head to the side.
“Morning Lyra. We’re missing Terra. She’s was supposed to meet with the rest of the cheerleading team for practice.” Sokka turned to look at the school gates. “We had to jump over the gates to get in.”
“This is really strange,” Twilight frowned, lowering her head in thought. “No one tried to call them?”
“I’m getting no answers from Terra,” Toph sighed, eyes closed. “And-” Toph opened her eyes quickly, blinking twice and frowning. “Wasn’t Mr. Kratos here a moment ago?”
__________________________________
“Curse portals! Curse the Gods!” Kratos shouted at the top of his lungs, landing on the floor in front of Canterlot High. “Where in Tartarus?” The greek demi-god moved to stand on his feet, looking around himself. “What a strange garb...” Kratos looked down at his clothes, wondering what material this shirt was made from. It... felt really good against his skin. He went topless normally, but this garb felt comfortable against his skin. Still, the pants had to go. Real men wore skirts.
A beeping sound made him pick up both eyebrows, looking down at his left pant pocket. What was this thing? He reached inside, looking at the display. “Octavia?”
“Kratos?” Sephiroth spoke, walking out of the portal. The last Cetra then frowned, looking around Something was definitely off. Besides the hair, but he assumed that was due to the portal traveling.
“Why do you look like a clown?” Kratos spoke. The Greek ‘man’ raised his left eyebrow at his fellow warrior. Sephiroth was wearing a sleeveless denim jacket, with a peace sign on the right side. He still had a black shirt, but he wore red fingerless gloves. Gone was his silver white hair, replaced by orange tufts that parted on the front of his forehead. Each side covered his eyes from view though.
__________________________________
“Why do you have Mr. Kratos’ phone number?” Twilight asked Octavia, her left eyebrow raised.
The brunette only blushed, grasping onto her phone with both hands. “I... Homework?” She offered weakly. “He’s at Canterlot High!”
“Why do you have his phone on your GPS?” Lyra asked, suddenly not liking the implication. “He’s not picking up though...”
“Well, he can’t be at Canterlot, there’s no way he magically teleported in a second,” Twilight sighed. “Think someone stole his phone? And I bet he simply went to open the school. Students are starting to show up.”
“Uh, guys...” Sokka raised his eyebrows. “I’m checking my contacts list.” The teen turned to look at them all. “A lot of the guys are here at Canterlot.”
“What? How can you possibly know that?” Twilight walked up to Sokka, narrowing her eyes. The girl looked small compared to the much larger boy, but Sokka shied away from Twilight. Reminded him too much of his sister.
“I was looking through the social status pages on some of the guys,” Sokka lowered his phone, showing it to the others. “When I checked for Otacon, I saw a hashtag. Please don’t throw a tantrum”
“Sunset Shimmer is... IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH OTACON?!” Twilight yelled out. Both of her eyes opened wide and bulged out, vein thickening in her hands and snatch the phone from Sokka’s hand..
“Who is Sunset?” Toph asked, turning to look at Sokka.
“She’s the captain of the decathlon team of Canterlot!” Twilight shouted, her hands balling into fists. “That HUSSY!” The purple haired teen breathed deeply, making her chest suck in and out as she snarled. “Not only is she toying with my beau, I bet she’s trying to sabotage our decathlon team!” The phone was destroyed by now, crumbling to the floor.
The teen moved both hands out, trying to salvage what was left of his phone. “I named it Hawky...” Both eyes teared up a bit, growing larger as he cradled the remains into his chest.
“Why would Otacon cheat on Twilight though,” Samus asked, the other cheerleader with Toph and Sokka.
“I’ve never seen Twilight so angry,” Lyra whispered in Octavia’s left ear. Octavia merely nodded, glad the attention was not on her anymore.
“But what about the others?” Sokka asked. “How were-”
“WHO HAS A CAR!?” Twilight shouted, grabbing the end of her bangs into to pull her hair. “We are going to Canterlot!”
Bonus:
So, where is Vegeta? Well...
“I’ll never go through a portal again!” Vegeta shouted, hands balled into fists as she shouted into the air. Both eyes were closed, building up his power level. “I am going to-”
“Woah! Where did that power level come from?!”
“Huh?” The voice made Vegeta snap out of his rant. “Kakarott? What am...” Vegeta’s eyes narrowed a bit, noticing something was definitely wrong. His field of vision was low, even for him. Too damn low. The saiyan prince looked down at himself, spotting a yellow and green robe on his form.
“Gohan! Since when can you do that?!” Chichi raised her eyebrows, looking down at her son.
“No....” Vegeta whispered in a low voice.
“That’s my boy!” Goku shouted, a big stupid grin on his face.
“NNNNOOOO,” Vegeta spoke, his voice getting higher.
“Huh? What’s wrong, Gohan? Do you want mommy to hug you?” Chichi said, walking over to toddler Gohan.
“Please, in the name of all that is good and fair in the universe, not this!” Vegeta shouted, seeing Goku come over to pick him up from under his arms.
“What’s wrong, son? Where is the power level you had before?” Goku asked. “Show daddy your power level again!”
“Bwaa waa waa!” Vegeta started to bawl his eyes out, unable to handle what just happened.
“Look what you did Goku! You made Gohan cry!”
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I can imagine him trying to wear one from the cheering squad.
Eh? This got featured?
4601054 Duh, it's a good fic.
By the way, the bonus was hilarious
Never expected to have some of the heroes and villains cast as the background students seen in Equestria Girls
Meanwhile, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned 
...i can never look at principal celestia without thinking about her relationship with kefka.... THATS HORRIFYING.
So lets get started on this incredibly complex web of relationships
reads story again
Well frak the idea of mapping out relationships i just left high school bs last year so i have no interest in mapping this out like i did with the other one so i will just enjoy this as they come out
Gilgamesh gets loose. So does all of hell. Meanwhile confusion reigns supreme among our cast, with the displaced humans wondering what they did to deserve this and the ponies just utterly confused, especially by Kratos in his hippie man-skirt.
Kefka is Celetia and Distant's son.......please don't tell me Terra is his sister.
4630373
Ok, I won't.
The hamster part with Gilgamesh was quite funny...
(funny thing is, my name is Curtis, so I laughed even harder at that)