• Member Since 13th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

bakersong


favorite character is applejack and i have been a brony for a while now

Comments ( 492 )

Great story so far, can't wait to see how this goes, oh and not wanting to sound petty, but I spotted a few grammar mistakes here and there, might want to read over it and correct them up. But aside from that, loved it :D

3439484 you want to know something interesting, i wrote this chapter today, all of it in three hours. with minimum editing. so thanks, i'll go back and see if i can fix them.

Next time try writing with spellcheck. Many times you failed to capitalize "I." Also, your/you're confusion.

If I didn't already know this was human in Equestria, I would have been lost. You need more detail.

You say that human in Equestria has been done, but you have a plan. Okay fine, but from this first chapter we sure haven't seen anything unique that sets the story apart.

Finally, why did you add this to the Pony Roommates group?

GMP

Well its okay, but it needs a major revising. It seem to be rushed in certain parts and there were a few ackward sentences in there. Not to mention the grammer and capitilization mistakes (i needs to be I). Also the part with the human not freaking out needs to be explained a bit better. Overall it was okay, I wont vote a + or - until a revise happens. I highly suggest to get someone to help find the spelling and ackward moments in your story.

Hope you enjoy the revised chapter, it has better pacing and i change quite a lot of it actually. It wasn't that hard to do, so enjoy.

3441097 The reason why i added it to the pony room mates group is simple, i read their description and it said that they don't care if it actually takes place in a school setting. As long as there is a human and pony living under the same roof they accept it. To address some of your other concerns i really don't care for capitalizing 'i', and this is only the first chapter so wait it out a little to see what i might do with it. And i did revise the chapter a lot, made some major changes to the human character.

Your revisions definitely made it better, although you still have a long way to go. Not capitalizing the pronoun "I" is...very strange. I suppose if you do it every time then it's obvious it's on purpose and keeps things consistent, but I still can't figure out why you would do something like that.

The story just didn't seem like Roommate material, as arriving in Equestria injured, being treated, and then promply escaping from the hospital isn't really enough to establish residency.

3451028 I can tell you that in the chapter coming up i do try to fix that capitalizing thing. But don't be surprised if i this is the only chapter like this.

"I know that there are portals that could lead to alternate dimensions, but i never really believed they were real."

Looks like Twilight is contradicting herself - saying that she knows they exist, then says she didn't think they existed.

And good luck trying to get a college English teacher to buy "I don't like capitalizing 'i' " :rainbowlaugh:

3464042 Well think about it she studies allot so she would know about portals, but never actually seeing one she thought they were just myths.

For those who are still reading unfortunately due to an injury to my left hand i have to put this story on hold.

sorry to hear that get well :moustache:

This guy just can't make up his mind... :ajbemused:

How did you hurt your self are you okay

3509219 worked to hard jammed a finger, it's fine now.

Oh that's good nothing to bad I did the same but I broke a blood vessel

You really don't need to do what I going to say because I'm not much of a writer but I think you should put in some of him or someone I your future writing's to use magic I don't know why but I kinda like that stuff but you don't have to do it.

3516807 Trust me I have given some hints about him possessing magic though I will not say what it is just yet. That and the hint wasn't that obvious so yes he will probably use magic in the future. It depends on how everything goes when i'm writing.

I think its great and there's nothing that really needs to be added... but it there was one thing, then i would suggest making Brandon into a unicorn in the near future of the story, or maybe even a sequel because it would be cool if Twilight learned a transformation spell or something. But hey, that's just me and even if that's not added its still a great story nonetheless. Keep up the good work :pinkiehappy:

Well that's great hope you uh I really don't know what to say right now well any way hope you have a fun time writing 3517115

I like it. I like it a lot :pinkiehappy:

Yeah Brandon's is going to use magic now I see it

Not sure if anyone actually touched the subject on the adaptability a human has could be a form of magic, so yeah decided might as well.

A little fast, but well worth the time it took to read.

3531045 So the story's going a little to fast for ya, then thanks for pointing that out will try to slow things down a little.

Just in case some of you are wondering the new schedule for this fic will be a new chapter every three to four days in order to relieve the stress on my fingers.

Good story!! Can't wait for more!!:pinkiehappy:

okay again sorry, but for right now i'm concentrating on A Beautiful Night as another big thing is about to happen in it. So this story is actually going to be put on hold for a good minute.

Good show old chap. I really am enjoying this, it makes a nice read when I go to bed for the night.
Keep up the good work.

Yay new chapter I been waiting for this

fluttershy is not affected by human nakedness :rainbowhuh: or did i just miss something

3668730 Nope, just mildly curious. Just as I keep trying to hint at they don't care which way whether a human is naked or not in this story. Because here's a shocker, they are naked as well. So why be bothered by another species being naked? And before you point out that it's Fluttershy again, i'll just explain this real fast. She was just over excited that he wanted a pet so she wasn't paying that much attention, and like I said why would she even care? There's that explanation, anymore questions?

3668955


Nope that works thanks :twilightsmile:

3668986 Well if you think of anymore questions don't be afraid to leave another comment, and that also goes for the other readers as well.

Very nice chapter, very nice chapter, indeed. Although, I have a question: What was that book Pinkie gave him, hmm? :raritywink:

3674360 That's a topic for another chapter my friend, let's say somepony will find it sooner or later.

3674386
Ah i see. Well carry on then. :moustache:

Oh yes a new Chapter. I will read this right now.

Very nice chapter although there are some grammar issues that I saw. Other than that it was great. I can hardly wait for your next :twilightsmile:

3678154 Doesn't surprise me, didn't really have time to look over this. Wrote and published it today so tomorrow will be able to release a Hearth's Warming Eve chapter.

Uh really bowing to royaltty :ajbemused:

Downvoting

3678510 Okay really, your down voting just because they bow to their princess? You do realize that in the mlp universe and even our own it's a tradition to bow before royalty.

3678510
I will have to agree with Bakersong on this, for in the Universe of MLP, bowing to royalty is something everypony does. Since that is a fact I believe your judgment is unfair. :ajsmug:

3678760 Thanks, but try not to feed the troll to much or else it might get snappy.

3678804
True... Its just wrong though

3678848 Ah, haters gonna hate right? I wouldn't worry about it, if he wants to be troll and make uneducated comments like that then so let him. That's why they call them trolls after all.

Very well done and I especially like how you put the book in there, although I would have thought it was some type of pornographic material with the way he was hiding it. I'm also a bit curios about who he likes... I guess I'll see in later chapters.

Just to point out, I know you were rushed for time and did this in one day, but there are some grammar issues, Just saying. :twilightsmile:

Merry Christmas/Hearth's Warming Eve by the way.

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