There may be spoilers in the comments. You've been warned.
For their first home together, Twilight and Applejack wanted a house close to Applejack's farm and big enough for Twilight's books, with a little something special besides. They settled on the perfect place, one of the oldest barns on Sweet Apple Acres, and had it converted into a comfortable house for their little family. But when strange things start happening just after they move in, Twilight finds that she has a mystery to solve before she can really call her dream house "home."
My entry into the TwiJack Hearth's Warming Contest.
Chapters (4)
Now then...
DO I read now? Or wait for ALL the entries to be made?
~Skeeter The Lurker
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When I was judging for AppleDash, I always read as they were posted. I'm not sure how you wanna do it...
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Mmm... Screw it. Now.
~Skeeter The Lurker
If they're all gonna be this long, then I best do this now. Good thing it's my weekend; good timing on that.
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She really does. I'm not sure, but this might be my favorite bookplayer fic so far.
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It's gonna be good for sure!!!
Don't panic, little pony, don't panic...
I'm gonna read this as soon as possible
The paragraph of Granny lording this over Twi and AJ is distinctly missing here!
Loved it.
Good luck in the contest.
Twilicorn: Check
Twijack: Check
Mystery: Check
bookplayer: Check
Capability to resist story: Not check!
Post-read edit:
I can help but feel this is a metaphor for bad antivirus programs. Only for houses.
Brilliant and cute little story, the small nuggets of romance felt very genuine and real, and the mystery was engaging, with a little worldbuilding in there too. Thoroughly enjoyable and I don't regret staying up 'till 4am to read it at all.
This was heartwarming as all heck.
A lovely, lovely story. Chilling where it was supposed to be chilling, heartwarming where it was supposed to be heartwarming, a delightful show of characterization, all around lovely.
Easy fave, and easy addition to my top faves box.
Everything you told me about the story said to me that it'd be batsnip: just exactly the sort of story that'd fire on all cylinders for me. 'Nip' doesn't cover it. Em, you wrote batscrack.
I fully expect to lose in the contest. Good luck!
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Aww, Granny would never lord it over them in front of Twilight's family... of course, now they have a bit riding on when she's going to let them live this down.
And thanks!
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Thanks, you guys. I know that's a lot of fic for me to drop as one story, but thanks for taking the time to let me know you read it, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
3508782 It was as sweet as thier gingerbread nativity scene
Spike's a total (metaphorical) cockblocker.
3508833 I wish to tell you that conjured an arguement in my head as to what a metaphorical cock would be.
I am shivering, and not from the cold.
This is turning seriously scary.
Spoilers:
I actually found the explanation of the sigil to be quite well thought out and believable. The earth pony magic was a nice touch.
Most importantly, though, thank you for not leaving characters out of this story about their family, and for using all of the members of this new family so well.
OK, I have just finished reading chapter 2 and I am making a prediction as to why the homesteading is causing all these problems. My guess is that it is a leftover tradition from before the tribes united and it seeks out and destroys anything with unfamiliar magic, such as anything that Twilight has moved, in an attempt to drive any non earth ponies away. It seems likely that Grany dose not know what the magic dose as it was long before her time that such things were needed, and reason for the homesteading had been forgotten long ago and now it is just done to carry on a tradition, not knowing the horrible damage that such a tradition could do.
I look forward to seeing if my guess is correct or if I am completly off the mark, either way this will prove interesting.
So many great lines, so on my phone...
I was legitimately taking screenshots every couple minutes, because the writings didn't stop from being awesome.
Also, wow, you two! Giving Spike up to the ghost just so you can do the frickle frackle...
Gotta hate accidentally building your house on ancient Earth Pony
burial groundshomesteading magics.Also, dat Rarity intervention. That was some serious friendship right there.
And she also probably saved Spike's life, so that's convenient.
Not bad, but you seem to have some problems with Twi's characterization. For example:
See? Completely OOC!
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Nonono, that's what makes the house perfect.... room for more books. Why do you think she loves it so much?
Also, this has a strong possibility to be headcannon now.
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But she's filling that space. With not-books. I refuse to believe this!
---
So, I finished the story. Very nice. I was expecting a racist spell, not one that would be satisfied by an earth pony marriage, but you are correct in that such a spell would not have escaped Celestia's notice. I feel like a bit of a fool for not catching that.
I love it!
I might have to read all the contest fics now, just so that I can know for sure that this is the best one (unless bats surprises himself, apparently).
Because this. Was. Fantastic!
There are character moment reasons, and shipping reasons, and characterization reasons (different from character moment reasons), and mystery reasons, and world building reasons, and heartwarming reasons!
I love wintery romance fics about married ponies being married!
We need more married ponies!
And more Hearth's Warming Eve stories/romances/feel-good family tales!
Ponies!
Houses!
Love!
Marriage!
Families!
Asfssfddafsfadafsafs!
Going in the personal archive, for sure.
(also thank you based bats for telling me to read this)
3509001 Well BP didn't technicaly use all of the members of the family, just all the members of the immediate family. But that's probably because of two reasons; 1: while Tia and Luna would have been there that would mean they would likely have had to bring Blue-balls and a bunch of other quasi-related nobles who would likely set the house back in attack mode; and, more importantly, 2: the Apple family is really buckin' huge.
If you set out to write a heartwarming story with a twist, I think you did a super job. The whole concept to me is just spot on. Thankyou for taking the time to write this, its nice to see someone write TwiJack every now and again.
And it looks like my prediction in chapter 2 was close, but not quite right, a wonderful read, quite emotional and very descriptive in all the right places.
When Twilight and Applejack came home to the wrecked entry room I the way you described the scene made me feel like I had been kicked in the stomach, I felt the pain of the characters as if it were my own. This type of story, involving a supernatural force haunting the characters, is normally not my cup of tea, but you really made it work.
Spike! Whyyyyy?!
It's the Sasquash.
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Without a doubt, I must put this here, because is well deserved:
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It's gold, pure gold. For example, the reference to the movie "The Exorcist" was priceless, hilarous and went very well with the story. Spike also was very right at every moment.
I have my suspicions and predictions about what was going on in the house, but I'm very happy that they didn't were totally right
Very well done, bookplayer. Once again, you earned my respect.
And like bats, I fully expect to lose in the contest. Good luck!!!!
*Commences reading in -26 C weather*
I feel your pain Twilight
Whew. I was afraid this wonderful lil' piece of literature wouldn't get featured, due to the inordinate amount of clop in box at the moment. Good work on this, Book. It deserves to shine.
This reminds me rather a lot of the story my mother tells me of my parents first home. Right after they were married, they moved into a farmhouse outside my dad's hometown. Small, though 3 stories. He would keep his RC tracks in the attic. My mom is a bit superstitious, and she never liked the house, the attic in particular. She said it had an evil presence. My dad is not superstitious, and he admits it got kind of spooky in that attic, like something felt a little wrong. They only lived there about a year, before selling it and moving. The house burnt down less than a month later. Burnt to the ground, nothing left.
Oh yes, I love me some earth pony magic ideas. And as it happens, I love me some TwiJack.
So, you know. This is pretty much perfection.
FiMfiction! Y U NO let me thumbs up?!
Really liked this one. The story itself was charming, and I loved the Earth pony magic and the tradition of Hearth's Warming caves.
The homesteading charm is fascinating. Racist barn, racist barn, 1, 2,3,4!
Well, that was definitely an enjoyable fic to read while waiting for everyone else in the house to get up
My first prediction was wrong: I assumed that the spell was attacking Twilight not because she was a unicorn, but because she wasn't fulfilling a promise to the land or even because she was using magic to do things instead of doing them "the earth pony way".
However, after Granny Smith explained the spell, my guess changed to "attacking Twilight because she is a unicorn and a stranger on the lands". I wasn't sure how it was going to be resolved though, and having them get married again was a neat way of resolving conflict.
I really enjoyed it! I particularly loved Shining Armor's reactions to Winona and how he was "not so subtly hinting" that he wanted a puppy. Twilight putting her hoof down about the dishes was amusing, and I loved the earlier scene where she was chopping firewood, and the comment about how a home makes you want to work - I'll have to relay that one to some people I know. My mom in particular will probably agree with it
Again, very enjoyable story!
So many memories of growing up on the Canadian border. I am so glad to have left for SE Texas where it is currently *looks at temperature reading* 69 degrees Fahrenheit in late November. Hate snow SO much.
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Um, yeah. Chapter 3.
But no, Twilight doesn't have a lot to do as Princess here... as I've said on numerous occasions, I see "Princess" Twilight as similar to Prince Harry or Prince Andrew... having a title doesn't give her a career, or even a probable future career. So she's currently something of a magical researcher who occasionally has to attend state and university functions, as is implied in the fic.
Should have asked more about that 'promise to the land' bit! I'm betting that Twilight accidentally broke that promise somehow, and that's why this stuf is happening.
This was an emotional rollercoaster. Loved it.
This story was absolutely fantastic. It hit all the right notes at the right time and in the right way and was truly magnificent. I don't usually add completed stories to my favorites but this one has made the cut.
Finally getting around to finishing this. I want to make some predictions before I read the last part, because making predictions for these kinds of stories is fun.
The homesteading is pretty clearly some ancient earth pony spell meant to protect earth ponies and get rid of unwanted unicorns/pegasus ponies. Protecting against intruders/bandits/what have you would be my guess. I'm not sure why AJ and Granny keep saying it's for 'good luck', but I guess that's the thing about ancient rituals. No one really remembers what they're actually for. It's a bit of a stretch, but I'm going to say it has something to do with AJ and Twilight not having an earth pony wedding ceremony. That seems like just the sort of thing that is meant to seem like an unimportant, throwaway detail at first, but then becomes significant later on, and it fits well with the whole 'ancient earth pony ritual' theme you've got going on. Maybe something about the spell not thinking they were properly joined, so it doesn't think Twilight is really a part of the family.
Actually, the more I think about it, the more that makes sense.
Wow. I totally nailed it.
This might be a little a too predictable. For what is ostensibly being held up as a mystery, the solution probably shouldn't have been this obvious (though I am willing to accept that I might just be really smart), and it's a little disappointing that the smartest unicorn in Equestria was only able to figure it out thanks to an offhand comment by Pinkie Pie. But that doesn't make the lead up to the resolution any less appropriately suspenseful or emotional (that scene after Twilight found it had destroyed their decorations was especially poignant, really great work there). It was certainly a very enjoyable ride.
Slice of life gold. I'm so glad I read this. Great work.
I half-guessed it. Property ownership; didn't see it coming. Against Twilight as a non-earth pony; thought of it, but wasn't sure. Brought to mind a scene from How I Met your Mother when Lily thought their apartment was haunted by a racist ghost.
I see what you did with Twilight Velvet, and I approve.
This story never really managed to get its hooks into me. The problem, I think, is just that... I don't really buy into the central conflict here. The spell being annoying and causing property damage and eventually attacking Twilight just never really enthralled me, and Twilight's stubbornness about the house just didn't work for me.
I think the real problem was I just never bonded with the house - Twilight asserted that it was her house several times, but I guess I never really "bought into it". I didn't feel an emotional bond there - never really cared about the house, and because the story is about the house, it all just kind of prevented me from really getting into the story at all. Without an emotional bond to what the conflict was over, it just didn't really do anything for me.
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BEEP.
BOOP.
HUMAN EMPATHY.
DOES NOT COMPUTE.
ERROR. ERROR.