Octavio's strange arrival

Octavio is a school kid who is accidentally dragged into equestria due to a portal spell that backfired. He then see's a mail mare that he instantly crushes on. Will he get her?

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 9 )

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Next Gen Wonderbolt

Next Gen Wonderbolt #1 · Nov 7th, 2013 · 2 · · Octavio arrives ·

This was probably the shortest story ever. There was no real plot or anything. I'm pretty sure that most of the characters are out of sync. If this was your first story I'll admit you have a lot of work to do. Anyone else notice how rushed this was too? I mean the whole story is around 2k words. If it's a story man you gotta add more plot and more of the story. Not, Octavio is in love with Ditzy and Ditzy automatically loves him back the end. Nah man, add more to it. More character development, plot again, try to make it interesting! Also try spell checking too cause there are those grammar nazis (Like me) who go crazy on spelling. I think with some work this would be something good just try to give more to it man! You have a lot to learn, but everyone starts somewhere right?

Soft Shell

Soft Shell #2 · Nov 7th, 2013 · · · Epilogue ·

3453987
I've seen several stories that are exactly 1000 words.
However most of those stories seem to focus on one small event,
And do not attempt to create a full story line.

Next Gen Wonderbolt

Next Gen Wonderbolt #3 · Nov 7th, 2013 · · · Epilogue ·

3454008 True but when you post the epilogue it kinda makes it a story so you would want to add something to it. I'm pretty sure most one-shots, if this is one, have the epilogue embedded into the story not a separate chapter.

Soft Shell

Soft Shell #4 · Nov 7th, 2013 · · · Epilogue ·

3454104
Perhaps he meant for it to be a one shot,
But did not understand how to format it as such.
I would like to hear his perspective on this matter.

Next Gen Wonderbolt

Next Gen Wonderbolt #5 · Nov 7th, 2013 · · · Epilogue ·

3454123 Alright. Sounds good enough.

Sai Ketava

Sai Ketava #6 · Nov 9th, 2013 · · · Epilogue ·

Like i said, first time, so Imma try better.

Sai Ketava

Sai Ketava #7 · Nov 10th, 2013 · · · Epilogue ·

I was actually kinda planning on making it longer, less rushed as you said, but i just got like super giddy or something of the sort. I posted this as a start, but knowing now that its... well yea.