Bats in the Old Apple Barn

by adcoon

Bats in the Old Apple Barn

Apple Bloom peeked around the corner at the end of the stairs and stood there breathlessly for a moment before stepping fully into the empty hall. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle followed close behind, holding their candles to light the darkness ahead. All the doors along the hall were closed. The door to Granny’s room loomed at the end, waiting for them.

Apple Bloom took a deep breath and walked slowly towards the door at the end. Her hooves clip-clopped softly against the wooden floor, and the boards creaked slightly with each step. None of them said a word as they approached the door. Apple Bloom stopped and looked back at her two friends, as if to make sure they were still with her.

They stood in the flickering light of the candles, breaths held as they listened to the silence and tried to gather enough courage to open the door. Apple Bloom reached out and placed her hoof on the handle, pushing it open as quickly and quietly as she could.

The door creaked as it swung open to the dark room beyond. The candlelight filled the room, revealing the empty bed and antique wooden furniture. Their pale faces stared back at them from the mirror on one of the walls, mouths open and eyes wide.

Apple Bloom stepped inside and looked around, letting the candle shine into every corner. She turned around to her friends and set the candle down on the chest of drawers by the door. “There’s nothin’ here.” Her voice did not rise above a whisper.

They turned slowly and looked down the hall at the doors, all the way to the stairs at the end which seemed so far away in the dark. Scootaloo gulped and walked up to the first door on the left. She hesitated a moment before pushing it open. The light from her candle lit up Big McIntosh’s room. “Nothing in here either,” she whispered and stepped inside to make sure. Sweetie Belle walked in close beside her.

A muffled cry sounded behind them, and something clattered against the wooden floor in the hall. They both choked back a scream and spun around.

“Apple Bloom!” Sweetie Belle called and hurried back out into the empty hall.

Scootaloo hurried into the hall and looked down at Apple Bloom’s candle on the floor where it had been dropped. Bits of hot wax was sprayed all over the floor and wall. There was no sign of Apple Bloom, and the door to Granny’s room was ajar, only the faint light of the moon and the shadow of the bed visible through the crack.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle walked closely together as they approached the door and pushed it open. The room on the other side was as empty as it had been before. “S-she was right behind us,” Scootaloo whispered, her voice shaking almost as much as her body.

“I don’t like this,” Sweetie Belle said and pressed herself closer to her friend, crying slightly. “I’m scared.”

“Me too,” Scootaloo admitted and draped a wing around Sweetie Belle’s shoulders. “B-but we have to save Apple Bloom!”

The floor of the hall creaked behind them, and a sudden wind blew out both their candles as the two fillies spun around and screamed at the darkness. The only light now came from the moon filtering through the window of the room behind them.

The floor of the hall creaked again. Heavy hooves against the wooden floor came towards them, one step at a time, and the pale moonlight reflected in a pair of eyes, their pupils narrow slits of gloomy, burning amber.

“D-don’t hurt us!” Sweetie Belle cried and backed into the room, pressing herself against the end of the bed.

Scootaloo stood in front of her friend, shaking with fright but unmoving, staring up into those gloomy orange eyes as they came closer.

“Hah!”

Scootaloo screamed and spun around, stumbling away as something clamped down on her shoulder in the dark. She fell over on her haunches, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

Somepony was laughing. A moment later a candle was lit, revealing Apple Bloom’s face. “You should see your faces right now!” she said and closed the door of the large wardrobe behind her with a light kick. She looked down at Sweetie Belle, who had passed out from fright by the side of the bed. “Oh dear. Did I overdo it?”

“A-a-a …” Scootaloo gasped for breath and turned to look at the hall. She nearly choked as a tall, dark figure appeared through the doorway, amber eyes and fanged smile greeting her. “A-a-aaah!” the filly screamed and scooted backwards against the wall.

“Aww, don’t be scared of Gloomy,” Apple Bloom said and stepped over to the bat pony peeking into the room. “She’s real friendly, and she’s been living in our attic for the last week now. I guess I lied a bit when I said I’d be home totally alone.”

“Hi,” the bat pony said cheerily and stepped fully into the room.

Scootaloo slowly caught her breath and glowered at Apple Bloom. “That was really mean, Apple Bloom!” She crawled over to help Sweetie Belle sit up.

“I told you it was a scary story.” Apple Bloom grinned, then looked at Sweetie Belle and bit her lip. “Although, perhaps it was a little too scary.”

“Sorry,” Gloomy said and looked down at her hooves.

“Don’t worry about it,” Apple Bloom said. “Maybe you can tell a story of your own? I bet you bat ponies know a lot of really scary stories.”

“No more stories!” Sweetie Belle’s sudden cry startled them all. “No more scary stories, please,” she repeated in a lower tone as she sat up.

“Alright, no more scary stories.” Apple Bloom grinned. “So does that mean I win?”

“Yeah.” Scootaloo looked at Gloomy, who was still standing in the doorway, looking slightly guilty. “Your story was definitely the scariest.”

“Yes!” Apple Bloom punched the air with a hoof and turned to inspect her flank. It was as blank as always. “Aww! What more could it take to get a scary story telling cutie mark?”

“Maybe we can tell each other happy stories instead?” Gloomy suggested and looked up brightly. “Wouldn’t that be a better cutie mark to have? I like happy stories!”

“That sounds great,” Scootaloo said and stood up, helping Sweetie Belle to stand as well. “And we still have plenty of candy to eat. Do you like candy?”

Gloomy grinned as she turned around and followed the three fillies back down the hall and down the stairs. “I love candy! Especially fruity gums. I just love those!”

“You, um, don’t drink … you know …” Sweetie Belle asked, looking uneasily at Gloomy’s fangs. “Blood?” she squeaked out the last word in a barely audible tone.

The bat pony stuck out her tongue and grimaced. “Eww, no! I’d rather have fruit.”

“Do you like marshmallows?” Apple Bloom asked as she found a fourth chair for Gloomy to sit in. The three fillies helped each other push the chair over to the fire.

“Marshmallows?” Gloomy looked curiously at the three. “I don’t think I’ve ever had marshmallows. Are they good?”

“Really?” Sweetie Belle stopped pushing the chair and looked at her in disbelief. “You’ve really never had marshmallows?”

Scootaloo grinned and grabbed a bag of the white, fluffy sweets. “You’re in for a treat, then! Come on!” She jumped into her chair and ripped the bag open, spilling several marshmallows over herself and the floor.

“Do you really live in the attic?” Sweetie asked as she pulled the rocking chair closer to the fire and sat down.

Gloomy nodded and sat down to watch as the three young ponies explained how to roast marshmallows, each one insisting on their own prefered way to eat them afterwards. Every now and then one of them would ask about her, or about bat ponies. Gloomy smiled and answered, thinking that this was much nicer than hiding in the dark and being scary.

Outside, the night was quiet, and nothing stirred.

Comments

[ArCana_]

That was a very cute, and well written little story!

[adcoon]

3425611
Thanks

[Kepler]

I was thinking, you could put the gore tag there for Scootaloo's accident, but it would make people think that this ends with something sinister, rather than the ending you have. It'd be a small but noticeable change, I think.

Anyway, nice story, and a quick read too. This sort of thing is what gets featured a lot.

[adcoon]

3426209
I don't think that part gets all that explicit, it's just sort of a brief mention of a past event which clearly ended fine, so I didn't feel it needed a warning. It also would give a wrong impression, as you suggest.

Glad you liked it, though

[Melody Anarchy]

I hate you and I wanna hug you at the same time. That was awesome. You really got me scared and I watch a lot of scray stuff.
So seance you are so good at writing stories could you help me and give an idea plz.

[adcoon]

3426418
Happy to hear. What sort of idea?

[Melody Anarchy]

well I wanna write a story about twilight and discord shipping in witch they have an adventure tougether and in the end they fall in love
but I'm scared to write it because I think it's going to be lame
so I don't know what to do.

[adcoon]

3428707
If you want to write, then write what you want to write, don't worry if it'll be bad or what others might think of it. If you enjoy writing it, then that's all that matters. There's only one way to become good at writing, and that's to write a lot, and the only way to write a lot is to enjoy writing it, even when what you write is lame.

A lot of my stories are actually pretty dumb, but I don't care. If others like them, that's awesome, and if not, then at least I had fun writing them. It helps if you can laugh at yourself a lot.

[Melody Anarchy]

thanks that helped alot
well better get to writing then

[Melody Anarchy]

One more thing how do you write a story I just don't know and the FAQ dosen't help

[adcoon]

3429992
Click Stories in your user drop down menu, then click the New Story button and fill out the form. Then go to your new story's page and click the New Chapter button, give the chapter a name. Then click the Edit button at the top and start writing. When you're done, save it and click Publish to publish the chapter. Last, when you're satisfied with the story, go to the story's page and click Submit.

[Melody Anarchy]

Thank you so much I know I've been a real pain but thanks a lot

[PresentPerfect]

Scoot's story was the best, though her dialogue didn't always sound like it was coming from a filly. I really liked that you took a different approach to the "scary stories come true" trope. I kind of got sick of that after the Halloween contest. :V

[adcoon]

3493759
Fillies! My ancient and eternal nemesiseseses!

I'm glad to hear you liked it. I enjoy trying different approaches, taking little twists and turns from expectations, and I'm always happy when it seems to work.

[Puzzle Reader]

Awww! Happy ending!

[adcoon]

3501667
I don't remember what spawned that story, but it wasn't based on anything specific. I agree that it turned out surprisingly well. I think I surprised myself a bit, actually

And sure, I'm always happy when people like my ideas enough to use them.

[Shadow_Wolf]

Cute, well written and fave nee the chills a couple of times. Well done!

[Swashbucklist]

So the Apples have a random hermit just shacked up in their attic... Sure, why not?

Not exactly what I look for during October, but I suppose not all traditional Halloween movies must R-rated either. So, still a nice li'l Halloween tale.

[Brody Deitrick]

well that was different in the what the what huh ok that was odd but funny way

[PaulAsaran]

You can has review!