Who are you?

by Mineing Daimond

Chapter II

When he awoke he was laying in a hard black floor. No, it wasn't black it was just pitch black in this room. What? How did I get here? I swear if that Pegasus turned me over to the royal guard I will find her and I would make her pay. He was more worried if he would ever see anypony again or just die in here but revenge was still on his mind.

"Ah, you're awake." Came a very familiar voice.

"What? Who are you?" Realizing the voice was not of a normal pony but similar to his only being higher pitched.

"Oh, you don't remember me? I was the leader of you and your brothers and sisters back when we attacked." A leader?A general? Revolutionary? King? No, it would have to be a queen or he just a very feminine voice highly unlikely though. "What? Afraid to speak to royalty?" She appeared out of the darkness she was twice maybe even three times larger than he was with a large bent horn, green eyes, long hair with holes in it just like her wings, mane, and tail. Well, now he knew it was a queen or something along the lines of that.

"No your majesty." Finally speaking up after along silence. Then, realizing he should bow got up and did so.

"Good, now that I know you still remember your queen," Yep, it was a queen. "I would like to offer a deal you bring me all the love you can out of these ponies and you can be reinstated to the hive I've built back up. If you accept you shall have one month to do so," Oh, great making a deal with a changeling I don't remember nor know too well. "If you decline well, lets just say that you and your pony friend won't last long." What? We won't last long? He thought over estimating his and Fluttershy's strength.

"I don't know I'll need sometime to think about it." He was hoping to buy time. She on the other hand was surprised the threat didn't get her a clear answer.

"Very well, I suppose I could give you sometime I will give you until tomorrow night to think about it." She was now hoping the time would get it through his skull before her hoof did that he had little to no chance with the second option. He knew this too, he just didn't know how trustworthy she was. If she did lead the changeling attack, she did an awful job at it. Would other changelings actually follow this queen if she was crazy enough to try and take the capital of Equestria and failed miserably? Surely they would find a new queen at this point, or maybe they didn't have a choice they were stuck with her for some reason.

"Thank you my queen." He said bowing again.

"Now stay very still for me." What was that supposed to mean? Before he had any time to think about it a bolt of magic shot into his horn making him collapse to the ground.

He woke up again in his bed. Was that real or was I dreaming? How could she take me from here unnoticed? All he knew was that he was starving. and that sweet smell in the air didn't help things much. He opened the door of his room and a huge rush of the smell and some love poured in. He took it in his horn glowing as he did. I hope she doesn't mind. I mean if she did she wouldn't have let me stay and that smell was just so sweet. He wished he could eat real food well he could use normal food for a quick boost in staying in a disguise but too much of it was like poison to him. He walked down stairs Fluttershy was reading a book on her couch waiting for the cake to finish cooking.

"How did you sleep?" She asked trying to make conversation.

"Better than I did out there," he said denying the fact that he just saw his own queen in his dreams if it was a dream "what's that delicious smell?" He really wanted to know now.

"Oh, that is just a cake I'm making for a party my friend is throwing." She hoped that he wouldn't eat it she didn't quite know how changelings took normal food.

"A party? Is it somepony's birthday?" That was the best thing he could think of.

"No this was just one of Pinkie's parties she throws every so often just as a get together." She never liked going, sure it was fun but their where ponies she didn't quite know and that she didn't like.

"Pinkie who's that?" She never mentioned her friends to him before or anypony for that matter.

"She's, well," she really didn't know how to explain Pinkie to anypony who has never met her before, "she's hard to explain even Twilight couldn't do that once she tried though I guess she breaks laws of nature."

"Okay, I guess, then who's Twilight?" Now even more curious to these ponies were.

"She lives in the library in town probably the most resourceful pony I know, and is the, the," she was hoping this information wouldn't freak him out, "the student of Princess Celestia." That made him feel worried. He needed information on changelings and now he would either have to find a different source of it or suck it up and try to avoid Twilight's questions on who he was. He thought he remembered that name though.

"Well it looks like I'm going to see her soon." It was the only option really no book store would have any info even then he couldn't pay for the books so the library was the best option.

"Why would you go see one of the most dangerous ponies to you?" She said looking confused.

"I need to jog my memory of changelings and what I had forgotten." Hoping that she would let him go.

"I don't know I don't want anypony to find out about you, yet." She really didn't want his blood on her hands if anypony found out. "Maybe you could go to the party with me, meet some ponies and I could still keep an eye on you."

"Depends when is this party?" If it was a couple days he would end up sneaking out anyway.

"Well it's later tonight actually, I wanted the cake to be as fresh as poss-" Somepony came knocking at her door. "A visitor I wasn't expecting anypony. Quick theirs a closet you can hide in over there." She said pointing to a long thin door across from. He got in it he could see though tiny the slits in the door. He saw her walk over to the door and open it.

Author's Note:

This site makes the periods and commas so small. I can't tell if i put one there or not I still like this though. I just realized I suck at finding my mistakes. lol

Comments

[Smashing Skunk53]

To help with the editing, many people type it up on google docs. Makes it easier to see mistakes and what not.

[Jphyper]

Dang, this story has issues. First off, there are a number of grammar problems, but the biggest one is that there are a LOT of run-on sentences. You claim to be unable to see periods and commas, so maybe you either need your eyes checked or you need to change your browser settings. It also doesn't excuse the parts that are missing more easily visible punctuation, such as semicolons and question marks. Clearly, you need to learn where and how to end sentences.

Secondly...

>>Alert! Plot Holes Detected!<<

This changeling sure seems to know a lot about his kind for someone who supposedly has total amnesia. If that isn't a plot hole, then he's lying, and I don't think any of the main six are that gullible, especially considering they'd be on their guard. Speaking of which, let's talk about Fluttershy. She is noticeably out of character. She would never threaten physical violence. You're also portraying her to be a little more sociable than she is in the show. Granted, she's improved a lot via character development, but she isn't quite at this level yet.

[Loveless]

This Changeling need more amnesia. He look like to remember many thing.

But everything all is fine! Look forward for this!

[Dream Seeker]

Get a beta-reader, or an editor. It will help with mistakes.