Aftermath of A Fallen Star
By Rated Ponystar
Edited by The Unnamed Pawn and Commander X5
Pre-Read by: Magic Man and Chaotic Note
Shining Armor (The Truth)
***
Big brothers are never born. They are made.
They are made when their little siblings are born, and open their eyes into the new world. The moment the two of you see each other, a bond is made that cannot be described in words. With that bond comes a duty. A duty to protect and love that little sibling for the rest of your life. To be by their side when they need you. To be a pillar for them to rely on. Ever since my sister was born, and I saw her in my mother’s hooves at the hospital when I was seven years old, I knew my duty as a big brother.
And I have failed.
My sister, Twilight, the most important pony in my life-next to my wife-is dead. Murdered by the very guards that I once called friends and comrades. Murdered by those who took a vow to protect Equestria’s rulers from any threat. Used like whores by greedy and jealous politicians who made my sister turn out to be a monster to those who would listen.
Every moment of my sister from her first walks, to teaching her to read, to her birthday parties and holidays? All of those memories are now ruined because all I can see upon thinking of them is my sister’s corpse, lying in a morgue with dozens of stabs and cuts all over her young body. My sister wasn’t even in her thirties when they took her from this world.
After everything she did. After all she had accomplished in life. She is gone.
I had never been more proud to be her brother the day she became a princess. Now I am an only child. A brother with no sister.
I have no more LSBFF.
Instead of seeing my sister come home with an A+ on her test, I see her covered in blood. Instead of my scared Twily asking if she can sleep in my bed because she had a bad dream, I see her torn apart by blades. Instead of her smile... I see her horrified expression.
I know there was nothing I could have done that night. I was in an entire separate kingdom. But when you're a big brother, all you can do is think about how much you failed them. How you should have been there. I placed my trust in her guards.
I placed my trust in Gallant Heart.
That’s right, THE Gallant Heart.
Gallant’s family had been in the Royal Guards even longer than my own, but he was more than just a fellow guard. He was the closest thing I had to a brother. We went into the academy together. I was the better battle mage. He was the better swordsman. We were always trying to oneup each other. I only managed to barely get top of the class because he always had a weak shield spell. Yet, there was another reason we bonded.
We were both big brothers.
He had Gladius Stride. I had my Twily.
We knew what it was like to protect those we cared about. I once beat up bullies who made fun of my sister. He carried his brother up the mountain when he broke his leg one time. We would do anything for our little siblings, and we wanted to grow strong for their sake.
When I was chosen later on to become Captain of the Guard, I chose him as the new Solar Lieutenant. Every mission we went on to stop thieves or monsters, he had my back. We were the perfect crime fighting duo you could say. It was like we were born brothers in all but blood.
When I married Cadence, I choose him as my best stallion. He personally lead a counterattack during the invasion that saved a lot of lives. When I went to become Prince of the Crystal Empire, he offered to follow me. I told him to stay and do his duty to the crown like his family had done for generations.
He even vowed to me on his life that he would protect Twilight during her coronation, but he was one of the five who killed her.
And now, the night before his execution, he requested to see me.
Me.
Not his parents or his brother, who was the only one who kept begging for mercy for him.
Me.
I walked through the dungeons without any escort as the guards saluted me while also inching away from me. If you thought Celestia’s face was angry at the trial, you didn’t want to see mine. The moment I learned who did it, who was in charge of the plot, and who killed my sister, all I wanted to do was end their lives permanently myself. I had been through my sorrow, I had been through my guilt, now I was just angry.
Blueblood? I always hated him. Even if Cadance once said he was a good stallion I don’t care. I always knew he was jealous that I had Cadance and he didn’t. The way he looked at her with such a wanting gaze? It was obvious that he wanted her. I relished in knowing that I was able to one up that pompous and racist bastard. He didn’t deserve her.
And I enjoyed beating him to an inch of his life in his cell last night with my friends and Twilight’s personal guards. The only one who seemed to be enjoying himself more was Private Flash Sentry. I only learned after his suicide that he was my sister’s lover. I probably wouldn’t have been pleased to learn this if they were still alive. However, upon learning how much he supported her and kept her sane during that horrible year, I would have proudly called him my brother-in-law. I can only hope they are together again in Elysium.
My friends offered to come with me to see Gallant Heart, but this was personal. This was something I had to face myself.
I arrived at his cell door and slammed it open. He didn’t look surprised to see me. His dark yellow coat made it hard to see the blood from the beating the others guards had given him. His brown mane was all over place and his yellow eyes stared deep into my soul without a single expression on his face. His horn was gone, and his body looked like it had gone ten rounds with an army of griffins. I could see the dried bloodstains on the floor, and only thought on how there wasn’t enough.
I stared at him for a long time. He didn’t say anything. Nor did I. There were a million things I wanted to ask, but all I really wanted was to see him burn.
“Why?” I asked when I finally found my voice. “Why did you do it? You swore to me that you would protect her.” I moved closer with each and every step, my voice rising higher and higher. “I trusted you. She trusted you. My family trusted you!” I was now up in his face, looking at him with such hate that all I wanted to do was blast him until not even ashes remained of him. “You were my brother! And you killed my sister, Gallant! Tell me why?! Why did do it?! Did you really think my sister was a threat?! Were you of the brainless idiots who thought she was ruining Equestria?! Was the stallion who I shed blood together and call my best stallion at my wedding just a lie?! Or are you just a guard who sold his pride and honor to be Blueblood’s bitch?! Answer me!”
Then I saw his eyes changed from the stoic and cold hearted vision that he had on since he was arrested. I saw something that stopped me.
Regret.
“I did it for my brother, Shining,” he whispered and closed his eyes. “I had no choice... not when his life was at stake.”
Of all the answers I had expected, this was the one that I didn’t expect. “I don’t...”
“Lime Wedge.”
I froze. To anypony else that was just random nonsense. But between the two of us it was a code word. It was something we did when we were colts. We had code words that would be used to alert the other of specific situations. Lime Wedge meant that this was for my ears only and that there was danger.
I thought about blowing him off. At first I thought that this was some trick, but something in me made me believe him. Not to mention that if it was a trick, he wouldn’t be able to gain anything. I slowly closed the door after making sure that no guards had followed me. In a split second, I had a sound proofing spell around the cell. I turned around and glared. “Talk.”
“I was undercover,” whispered Gallant Heart, getting up walking towards me. “Do you really think I would start shouting that traditionalist manure out of nowhere when I have never once believed it myself? That I would just, out of the blue, decide to start acting like one of her haters? Use your brains, Shining. I was there to infiltrate Blueblood’s group!”
My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. Undercover? That wasn’t completely unheard of for guards to get undercover assignments, but as far as I knew Gallant Heart didn’t do undercover work. You had to be trained for that kind of work. He growled at him, thinking it was utter nonsense. “Under... but Celestia would have known! You were a Solar Guard, and if you were undercover then you would have been spared from any legal action! Unless you decided to betray her like that!”
“I wasn’t working undercover for Princess Celestia...” whispered Gallant Heart as he turned around, shaking his head.
“... Princess Luna?” I asked, with shock. The Lunar Guard and Solar Guards were under the orders of their respective Princess and were under their vows to never obey the other one unless in times of war or if the other princess was unable to command. “Why would you...”
“... because unlike Princess Celestia, Princess Luna knows you need to be dirty to fight the corruption in this city. Princess Celestia tried to play fair, but that doesn’t always work and she learned too late what happens when you don’t watch your back. Luna, even after all these years, knew how the nobles thought, worked, and acted. It was no different than a thousand years ago then it was now. Ponies in power will always be greedy and selfish. Blueblood wasn’t the only one planning out to assassinate Twilight. There were at least a dozen individuals or groups that wanted do this.”
“But... no...” I whispered. I refused to think that there were others out there who wanted my sister dead. After everything she had done for us, there was no way. “The military, intelligence, or even the guards would have-”
“Do you really think everypony in the government, or its associates, is loyal to the crown? That Twilight’s death is all just about one stupid and jealous unicorn with daddy issues that wanted to be an alicorn?” said Gallant Heart as he rested against the wall. “You have no idea what I know... and what I can’t tell you.”
“What do you mean?! I want to know everything!” I demanded as I lifted him up with my magic and held him against the wall. “You owe me that much!”
“I am saying what you need to know, and I’m risking not just your life but your wife, your family, everypony we care about is at risk because I am doing this!” shouted Gallant, glaring at me before pushing me away, “The more you know, the more danger you will be in. I’m just telling you enough so you can be safe and watch your back before whatever is building up comes and sends us into whatever cataclysm erupts from it.”
I stood there, frozen with shock as Gallant glared at me with the most serious look I had ever seen him give me. It was even more serious than the one he gave me the time we were trapped in a sand worm pit in the Badlands. I had come here with anger. Now I was sinking with fear. A dark pit in my stomach made me realized that once I left this cell, my world was going to change forever.
“Just... just start somewhere...” I muttered.
Gallant nodded. “While you were charged with protecting Princess Cadance in our early days, I was in charge of the protection of Prince Blueblood. I guess that was enough to make him think he could trust me. Idiot. Princess Luna’s street urchins had heard rumors of Blueblood gathering a group to assassinate Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
“Street urchins?” I asked with confusion. “She... she uses the orphaned street foals as spies?”
“According to her, they are the faceless of our society. They hear, see, and learn everything that there is in the darkest streets of Canterlot. They can go anywhere, see and hear everything. Princess Luna gives them food or toys as thanks. They worship her like a mother in a way,” chuckled Gallant Heart. “Anyway, we had heard of such things before and we were keeping an eye on them, but this one was too close to home. Prince Blueblood accepted me into the group easily based on our past relationship, and trusted me with everything. It was almost too easy. My orders were to get close to them, act like one of them. I was also ordered to see how far it went and if there were any supporters.”
“How did they learn to trust you?” I asked, my tone similar to when I was Captain and he was my second in command. It was like suddenly we were back to being soldiers.
“I told them secrets. Guard secrets, military secrets. It was all phony, but Princess Luna made sure to make them look real. Plus, they put me in charge of gathering a group of guards who would be loyal to their cause. I knew plenty who hated Twilight and would be glad to get rid of when we sprung our trap. But the true key element was that I knew where they could get the metal that could kill an alicorn. And who could use that metal to forge weapons.”
I bit my lip. Orichalcum. One of the few things that could easily kill an alicorn. Because of this, it was illegal to hold a certain amount of it much less have a weapon made out of the stuff. The Royal Army had access to a few weapons made of the most deadliest metal in the world, but only a few ponies in the entire kingdom had permission to wield them with the princesses’ blessing.
“I didn’t have access, but I knew where the metal was from. I don’t know how Prince Blueblood got it but he did,” said Gallant. “I was given full trust after that. While the weapons were being forged in secret, I took that moment to dig deeper into this shadow world that the nobles and those who play The Game have created in the last one thousand years. And saw just how far everything was in all this.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, walking over to the point where I sat down and was face to face with him.
“It’s not just the nobles, Shining,” he whispered with a harsh laugh. “It’s the military. Corporations. Farmers. Royal guards. Regular ponies. The Council. The crime lords. Ponies from all these groups play this twisted game of lies, intimidation, and deceit. On the surface, Equestria looks like it’s a peaceful nation under the beliefs of Harmony. But deep inside it’s soul there is a shadow war that has lasted for hundreds of years. And all of us not part of it are blind to it. I don’t know if Princess Celestia knows about it, or just ignores it, but she doesn’t run the nation as perfectly as she thinks she does. But that’s not the worst part.”
“It’s not?” I muttered with wide eyes. “What could be worse?”
“Somepony is winning this game. Slowly, but surely, somepony has been building up support over the years to change Equestria. Somepony that not even the best of this game have been able to see. They will win this game, and we will all lose for it. Those who play and those who don’t.”
“How can you believe that there is this... this... nation wide shadow conspiracy?” I asked in disbelief. It sounded all so... so... impossible. The idea that our great country wasn’t what it really was scared me. Had it all been a lie? The idea of friendship, tolerance and harmony we prided on speaking about? “Princess Celestia would never-”
“Princess Celestia has spent a thousand years letting power go into the hooves of the council and nobles to make it easier for her to rule,” spoke Gallant Heart with a regretful sigh. “She is truly the sun. She spreads her joy and faith throughout the land like a ray of sunshine, but she ignores the shadows she creates.”
He shook his head. “The fault of Equestria’s leadership is that it was designed to be run by two rulers. When Princess Luna was banished to the moon, it left a power gap. Princess Celestia was now tasked with more duties than she could handle, not to mention the pressure of raising both the sun and moon on her own. So she came up with the Council of Lords to help her rule the kingdom. That way she could spend her time preparing for her sister’s return, and spreading the belief of Harmony,” said Gallant Heart, shaking her head.
“The moment she put her eyes away from her own ministers and court attends they began to plan her downfall. I’m sure it was fine at first, maybe even great. But power corrupts eventually. They started putting their hooves in everything they could get, but one group always was the dominant one. And with Princess Luna back, not to mention new alicorns such as Cadance and Twilight, that power could be taken away. That is what all these bastards fear, but this group has other plans.”
“But what group would want to go so far as to kill my sister?” I asked, wondering not only what was going on, but who was it that I had to kill for this. If there was a group out that was behind all this, why did they do this?
“What family has members and influence in every part of Equestria, and is powerful enough to buy, cheat, threaten, or control whoever they can be it a threat or ally.” Gallant Heart looked at me with regret in his eyes. “Who do you do you think?”
Only one name came to me “The Bluebloods.”
“Yes,” muttered Gallant, shaking his head. “They’ve been gather power for years. Slowly influencing in their own ways. Princess Celestia was blind to it. We all were. What we saw as a family of rich twats, was actually a cunning and manipulative group of chess masters who want the power of the throne for themselves.”
“... why not tell Princess Celestia this?”
“Because we don’t know who to trust. Me and Luna,” Gallant Heart whispered, as he buried one of his hooves into his face. “We were set up... I was set up from the very beginning.” I stared at him with confusion until he answered. “Prince Blueblood isn’t the mastermind behind Twilight’s assassination, and he doesn’t know that either.” He turned around and growled. “He was just a tool. Used by his father, Amadeus Blueblood.”
Amadeus Blueblood.
Even that name, to this day, causes me both disgust and fear. While Blueblood was always more vocal about his disgust with Twilight’s reformation, she was able to counter attack him on equal and, often times, better footing. Amadeus, however, rarely ever attacked my sister with politics. But when he did, he was ruthless.
He cut down everything she ever said with his own logic and cunning. He was a sharp tongue, with rumors said that he even convinced a political opponent to kill himself one time. One time he was so brutal that my sister ended up crying for a full day after he left with a small smirk. I hated him. So many did. Yet so many more feared him.
He was a name that you didn’t want to cross. He was not like his idiot son. This was a stallion whose presence alone spoke power and authority. He made no secret of his beliefs, but his actions were always a mystery. I didn’t play politics like Cadance did, but she often spoke of him like was a ghost to be feared.
Many had wondered why his son had been the forefront against my sister and her ruling while he stayed in the back, only coming out when he pleased. And now I knew why.
“He’s the one? How do you know this?” I asked, biting my lip.
Gallant’s eyes slowly faded all life in them as he closed his eyes and sighed. “When I went home to my apartment, he was there. Along with his own bribed set of guards. Two of them happen to be guarding the hallways by the way.” He said it so calmly but I just froze with the thought that the threat to my entire family was so close. “Anyway, he sat there drinking tea. I knew... I knew the moment he stared at me that he knew what I was. He calmly told me to sit down, and he told me that I was going to convince his son to attack tomorrow night, instead of letting his fester in his doubts.”
“Doubts?” I blinked a bit, making sure I heard this right. “Blueblood was having doubts?” After everything he had prepared for the death of my sister, he was having doubts?
“I told you, the stallion had daddy issues,” whispered Gallant. “All this assassination was to Blueblood was a chance to prove he was useful to his father. The stallion cared nothing for his son. I don’t know how Amadeus did it or what he said, but Blueblood was convinced that if he killed Twilight his father would finally see him as a real son. And Amadeus played on him to do so.”
I couldn’t imagine any father being so cruel to their son. I can’t even imagine Queen Chrysalis being that cruel when she was alive. To use your own son as a tool and have no love for him? Was Amadeus really born out of nothing but steel? Did he have no heart or love in him?
“The problem was Blueblood was doubting his actions. He didn’t know if killing Twilight would solve anything, or even bring more problems,” whispered Gallant Heart. “And deep down he didn’t want to hurt Princess Cadence, or Princess Celestia. He does care for them. They were the only ones who ever showed him kindness.”
I didn’t say anything on that. I still can’t. I still can’t see Blueblood in a good light no matter how sympathetic Gallant made him out to be. Even if he was used by his father, even if he deep down didn’t want to hurt Cadance or Celestia.... he still did it. He could have not done it, but he still killed my sister. There is no forgiveness for him in my mind and I forever hope he rots in Tartarus.
“So what did Amadaus tell you to do?” I asked, no longer having anger in my voice. It wasn’t even in my heart. Because I knew what he was going to say next.
For the first time since I entered the cell, I saw tears beginning to form in my best friend’s eyes. “He told me to convince Blueblood to go forward with it... or my brother would die.”
At that moment, I hugged him. Every anger I had left as gone. I hugged him because I understood. I understood. If I had to choose between my honor and Twilight. If I had been in that same position... I would have done the same thing.
Big brothers do anything for their siblings... even betray what they hold dear.
“I... I couldn’t let anything happen to him, Shining,” sobbed Gallant as he fell into a complete mess in my embrace. His tears soaked my shoulder as they cascaded down my body like a waterfall. “He is... he is everything to me... Gladius is the world to me... I had no choice... I had to dishonor myself. I had to betray everything I stood for. I had... I had to kill your sister...”
“Gallant...” I muttered, as I felt the anger returning. He did. He did kill my sister. I really couldn’t forgive him for that. I understood, but I still couldn’t forgive.
“I betrayed my family... my ancestors... my rulers... but I betrayed you... my brother...” he whispered as he slowly slipped away from my embrace. “I did... I did as he asked... I made sure it was quick, Shining. One slice across the neck... and that was it. She was gone before she knew it...”
I felt a tear drop down from my cheek.
“I won’t ask you to forgive me... and don’t ever do so,” Gallant Heart muttered. “I am scum. A traitor. I choose my own flesh and blood before my duty as a guard. I don’t know if that was the right choice or the wrong choice, but I must face my consequences. I’m not scared to die tomorrow. I’m only scared for you and my brother.”
“Gallant...” I started, but he then grabbed me by the shoulders and stared into my eyes with intensity.
“Listen to me. I told you all this because you deserve to know, and to keep you safe. Don’t tell anypony about what I said. You are to never explain the truth, ever! Let me die a traitor and remembered as one. Watch your back. Trust nopony. And please, in the name of Faust herself, watch over my brother,” whispered Gallant.
I stood there, staring into the stallion who I was torn between loving and hating. A stallion who I couldn’t help but pity for the cruelness life had given him. I nodded. I could never forgive him for killing my sister, but I would always remember him as a friend.
“Thank you,” he whispered with a small smile. “I can die a little easier knowing this.
“Just one thing,” I said, as a linger thought entered my head. “Why would Amadeus want my sister dead? And for his son to be the scapegoat?”
Gallant Heart closed his eyes and sighed.”I thought about it for a long time. Ever since I was thrown in here. It finally came to me after the trial, when Celestia said she would enforce all of Twilight’s plans without any care of what the nobles and traditionalists thought. She had been pushed to the edge, and they all know it. She’s out for blood, their blood, and they are cornered. With all this enforcement there will come resistance, not just from the high class, but low class too. Equestria was already dividing itself over politics... now it shall rip itself apart... and I don’t know when it will happen, but eventually only one thing will come up from such building of hate and conflict.”
For a long time he didn’t speak, but when he did it only was two words.
“Civil War.”
***
When the Fallen Star’s Brother left, he left with anger on his face
But sorrow in his heart
He doesn’t visit the Reluctant Traitor's grave
But he prays for his soul nonetheless
I really need to start reading this again. The premise is just heartbreaking though.
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Everything is so clear now.
6382258
Lol, can't tell if that's honesty or sarcasm.
Well done. You made me feel even more pity for blueblood. Well done. Well done.
Welp. Blueblood played like a fiddle, a stallion that wanted to do the right thing but was told by the person he felt like he needed approval from that it is definitely the wrong thing.
... Now we need a Blueblood chapter. I demand it!
If you already had the plan for it, anyway.
6382279
He's still a bad guy though. That's the thing about him. He may have had a horrible father and conformed to his ideals, but he still wanted to kill Twilight just for that purpose even if it would hurt the only two ponies he had a care for
6382288
Prince Blueblood, no. His father? Yes
Shining Armor's feels got rekted. Just like how I punched the shit of the seemingly unbeatable Evillak out of the ring of Rustlemania 2 Superbrawl Saturday 3 after 5 long minutes of struggle..
6382279 He was still a dick.
6382262 Partial sarcasm,because we're still left in the dark due to the author's note.Who knows what Amadeus wants?
Uh-oh, are we going into GoT-esque situations? I can never remember who stabs who in the back
6382293
Oh. I guess that's pretty good, too. Probably more enlightening than seeing the perspective of someone we probably got the most important bits of right now.
I wonder what Amadeus's after game plan is should he succeed. The sun and moon won't lower themselves after all and I highly doubt it can be done so simply that you just need a group of (probably) powerful unicorns to lower and raise them. And there is still Discord . . .
A powerful and emotional chapter that left me in amazement and curiousity. Great job, once again.
Should've figured Prince Blueblood was too incompitent to be the mastermind behind Twilight's assisnation. He was little more than a pawn for his father to use as he saw fit, and then toss aside when he outlived his usefulness. And I'll bet that after all that, Armadeus still didn't love his son, and probably told him in private just before his death that he never meant anything to him.
Hope he gets what's coming to him eventually, he is the one who started this chain of events, and it will end in bloodshed the likes of which no one has ever seen.
Amadeus is turning out to be this Equestria's Lex Luthor...
and, Amadeus left to be safe from what he knew could break out in Equestria, then with the backing of Unicornia, can sweep in to take control afterwards...
the deer never said when the black star was found, so it may have been around for a while. in my mind, Amadeus Blueblood is the black star the deer mentioned. Marble's child is a red herring...
the final thing is, what is Amadeus' long game? since he just sacrificed his son, his heir, my answer would be Alicorn-hood...
Everyone is going back and forth about what's going on.
I'm just sitting here watch people play and fail at Destiny XD
Also on a side note.
"I the lord will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men"
"Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin."
Doctrine and Covenants 64:34-35
He must die. He must pay. And above all, he must suffer in everything.
my only complaint is this dosn't update fast enough.
Just...
Another story that paints Celestia as a useless senile twat incapable of noticing conspiracies behind her back, and that she's so disconnected she's allowed corrupt nobles to gain immense power while regular ponies suffer and resentment builds.
Seriously, Celestia is NOT Tsar Nicholas. She's not inbred and stupid and under the influence of Rasputin.
And that nonsense about Equestria being made for two princesses... she never once managed to fix the system in a thousand years? Dude, certain humans have done better than that in a handful of years. You're making her more incompetent than the twits who took over France during the French Revolution, and that's pretty hard to believe!
I'd sooner believe the Agent Sweetie Drops BS from Episode 100 than this.
Dude, you've done it. I've got to make my spin off so at least one universe has someone try to correct this.
6382442
You need my permission to do a spin off. When you've made an outline please send it to me so I can approve it or not.
There's always one who's just never satisfied with 'everything is good'. In all honesty, Celestia should just kill them all. Wipe Equestria from the face of the planet, all of it. Drop the moon on the planet or something. Because the only way for there to never be an awful asshole again, is when there is nothing alive to become one. Just leave Amadeus alive until the very end, until the Moon actually collides with the planet. Then he will know, in the end, that it was all his fault. Frankly I don't care about his motives, they're uninteresting and a snorefest by default. If he's deluded, just power hungry, did it for the greater good, for the lulz, or whatever, none of it matters, because nothing will ever suffice as a reason for wanting civil war and the ruination of everything. Just destroy it all, Celestia, it's not worth the heartache.
Coronation.
This is going to sound bad when I say it, but trust me I mean it in the best possible way...
This story makes me feel like shit. Like... I love when it updates because there's always another interesting perspective and more details of the plot come to light, but this story brings out the absolute worst in me. Shining Armor loved his sister, and I just get so angry when someone can so callously take a life. If someone even dared to hurt or kill anyone precious to me, I'd happily spend the rest of my natural life in prison after I had killed anyone involved. Damn... How wrong is that? Everyone has someone who loves them, yet I just said I would kill the 'bad guys' without a second thought. This is why the story makes me feel like shit, because it causes all kinds of introspection that I don't want to have! However, that's exactly why I adore this story. It causes me to think, and that's what constitutes a great story in my opinion.
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6382470
Thanks buddy, hope you liked it
6382418 there is a point here. But Celestia has always shown signs of blindness in certain areas. She didn't notice Luna's issues till she became Nightmare Moon and then not noticing such a drastic attitude change in Cadance before the wedding.
The closest situatuation I've seen to this would be 1000 Year Change and in that the actual conspiracy was young and happened too quick for Celestia to really counter but she was blind to the issues that caused it to begin with.
6382474 TO be honest if I was Gallant I would make the moves to agree. remember he only had to make Blueblood to try not actually do it himself. I think there could have been a way to save his brother and Twilight.
6382453 The EPA is a joke. So is the FDA. I don't have my head tucked in anywhere. I know that cooperation with companies is something that the US will need to improve things. At the same time though, the US is tied back with an interest in money and a people that refuse to pay for anything (that includes effort).
Art, education, healthcare, transportation, all takes a back seat to sports arenas, the military, and giant campaign funds. The people complain about a two party system (myself included), but never vote for a different party or do something to change the status qua. Everyone is to blame really. It's a self defeating process.
BTW: it's not a pipe dream. Alternative energy, material recycling, and material sciences can be profitable. It won't happen without some investment, but there in lies the problem. Combustion engines didn't get as good as they are in a day. The pipe dream is thinking that changing nothing wont lead to ruin. I support nuclear, and even some fossil fuel use. It's about using more than one resource and applying the right technology for the right location.
We need to go to PMs if we don't want to upset the author.
Great. A forever war. Just what nopony needed.
6382359
He went to a nation of Unicorns. Most likely they have enough magic to move them themselves.
As it ever is...nothing is truly black or white...
Stellar chapter, as usual. A couple of typos here and there, but still a solid work.
6382325
Rock us?
Shining should go become an assassin and avenge Twilight, creating the creed and brotherhood in the process.
assassins-creed.ru/uploads/images/ac2/concept_art/ac2art_%2004.jpg
Bring it on Amadeus. We aren't afraid to fight fire with fire.
Yay an update! I wanted shinging's POV. Maybe her parents POV too?
6382474
I second this, wholeheartedly.
Honestly, I don't know what to think about this reveal. On one hand its brilliant twist of a a interesting story with the chest master that deserve its own novel.
On the other hand it seems so incredible stupid and risky for a reward that wouldn't last, assuming he ever gets said reward. In fact I think he lost his life for he got what is coming to him in the end due to Fancy Pants when he went to the unicorn city so unless he has a secret son, the Blue Bloods will die with him. And even if he did live, he is making a lot of assumption his plan would work for him instead of against him with either the princesses not whipping out the nobility or there be enough powerful unicorns after the war to raise and set the sun since they would be on the front lines. Not to mentioned if a new evil doesn't take over that just kills all the ponies, like a genocidal Terik.
He's like the Emperor from Star Wars and Petyr Balish from Game of Thrones, good planners to make a situation work for them at the time, but idiots when it comes to long term plans or planning something from scratch and thus unable to hold onto said ultimate power when it comes to time. Yeah I'm looking to you Emperor for starting the rebellion you fear, and Petyr for thinking using Sasana was a good idea and assuming he could hold the Vale without a Arryn on the throne.
you fucking serious dude?........ you have ANY idea how just fucking contrived that is?
you've just ruined one of my favorite stories, your story, because of this conspiracy filth. if such a force existed, if celestia could not see through it, equestria would not have lasted two hundred years, if she did not know how to play this game, she could not rule.
also his actions were illogical. his dreams would give him a way to tell luna. and luna could have set up something to protect twilight. fuck, with the dreams luna could tell celestia EVERYTHING and not a damn soul would be the wiser, aside for celestia of course. they could ahve personally warned twilight while she slept, and create the falsehood that celestia had a premonition.
in other words, you compltely ruined the tragedy of this by making it circumstances that the regal sisters could easily have dealt with >_< this is so fuckign contrived. and what makes me so angry is that it ruined what i thought was a good story.
6382774
Your choice
6382780 its not a choice dude. you ruined your own story with this conspiracy bullshit.
what you made celestia do would not make her able to rule for even a century. its stpuidity. thus you are playing to some ignorant stereotype.
also you compeltely overlook things such as luna's dream walking, which she could use to communicate with celestia about a threat to tiwlight. celestia would be wise enough to fucking act calmly and caculated. she could even say a premonition made her worry for twilight.
and luna not outright telling celesita is pure idiocy because celestia would easily deal with amadeous >_< she is a demigod. there is no way they could beat her.
........ to put it more calmly, you have created a series of plot holes and paradoxes. you created acelestia who could not rule, and created a scenario that luna could have EASILY prevented. rather than it being random ignorance and tragedy, you made this idiotic mastermind thing.
6382803
If that's how you look at it, I won't change your opinion. I'm sticking to what I'm writing for in this story. If people leave because they don't like what I do with my story, it's their choice. I don't mind because that happens all the time.
I thank you for staying this long and I'm sorry you don't like the direction I'm taking it. See ya.
6382822 dude, its not anything like someone making a story and killing off a character. if it is done well then so be it. that is my train of thought.
this is not well executed. it creates dozens of plot holes and paradoxes dude. as i said, a celestia that cannto rule, and a luna who could ahve saved twilight with immense ease. she could have even fucking stated one of her guards noticed some mystrious so and sos walking through it, and she could have stopped twilight's death completely.
your story as you have made it cannot function. it is just far too flawed to actually work. basically tyhe sole reason twilight died now is because luna, despite being hundreds of years old, could not outsmart fucking mortals with barely a century on their life spans.; that she could not have figured out a way to save her, despite being fully capable of doing so. she could have done soo many things. and you made her do nothing for contrived reasoning.
seriousyl dude, the power of the alicorns combined is far greater than anything this amadeus could work with. they have a power far greater than influence; real power.
you have turned this entire plot into a non issue.
6382827
And yet I got a lot of people who like the story. Say are you also that LordofFantasy guy who comments a lot on my Adapting to Night comic?
I think this kind of plot just does not work well in MLP because Magic:
I can imagine Shining and Cadance (and even Luna) charge where A. Blueblood is and just outright kill him, even with a crazy army guard. I don't think something can stop them.
You can argue that it can distabilise Equestria, but not really. Celestia and Luna had a real power to carry a treat, they clearly have godlike power. And there is still Discord on the balance. A Civil War is very unlikly to do something.
6382827
Let me point out the fact that Celestia once couldn't tell that Cadance was being impersonated by Chrysalis. Chrysalis, who was totally not acting like Cadence which is something Twilight noticed IMMEDIATELY. Oh, and Twilight is a mortal at the time. Yet Celestia wouldn't believe her, and look what that got her. A burn would she needs a Burn Heal for.
So if that isn't the most prime example of Celestia being a fucking canon idiot, I don't know what else is. Oh not to mention she was being a terrible sister to Luna, which led to her transformation to Nightmare Moon. Let's not pretend Celestia is the perfect goddess ruler and accept that she's flawed enough to overlook something like this. Celestia isn't a chess master since there's proof that she's been fooled in the show, such as the time Discord stole the Elements of Harmony right under her nose.
Fridge logic time:
Under what possible circumstances would committing regicide seem like the best option to Gallant?
Let's look at some of the other options that should have run through Gallant's head:
- Killing Amadeus then and there. Amadeus has his own guards, but Gallant is just as skilled as they are, and it's nigh-impossible to stop someone who's only a few feet away and doesn't care if they die themselves.
- Saying yes, then immediately begging Luna (or Celestia) to personally extract his brother right now before Amadeus can react to his duplicity. It his brother is still at risk, but not nearly as much risk, and it's probably more attractive than backstabbing his best friend and the monarchy to which he is loyal in one go.
- Saying yes, then committing suicide. Gallant's little brother is no longer useful as leverage to Amadeus and so is probably safe (killing him out of spite risks exposing the conspirators). Gallant's job is to lay down his life to protect those he cares about, so this would certainly seem like a viable alternative.
Your original version of his motivations (that he honestly believed that Twilight was a threat) was more believable.
On a broader note, this fic started as an interesting study of ponies' reactions to tragedy (which the first fic also did quite well), but you seem to have run out of material for that a dozen or more chapters ago and been trying to turn it into a dark-world political fic with a heavy coating of angst. This does not seem to be working out very well (both due to the progressive tone shift and to the increasingly shaky plot twists).
Unless your actual intention is to create a parody-fic or troll-fic, you may want to make another revision/streamlining pass of your plot outline and character notes before continuing.
6382845 and that is an example of people picking deetails rather than taking in the whole.
sure she couldn't tell but look at the circumstances and they make sense. on one hand, her niece/maybe daughter figure is getting married. on the other, someone has threatened equestria during the wedding. her attentions had been divided between. so as she had to focus on keepign equestria safe she found herself denoting cadance's non cadance behavior to wedding stres
whether or not the scenari owas created by chrysalis or mistake or circumstance, her attention was divided.
also how could she have ruled a thosuand years if she is an idiot?
i.annihil.us/u/prod/marvel/i/mg/3/c0/554b8a4d89081.jpg
6382867
Can we not have an argument please? Take it an PM, but not here
6382856
No, I still have the reaction to the tragedy, but I'm also setting up the next story in this trilogy. Aftermaths don't always have to be about emotion, but consequences and problems that lead from it.
6382832 ...You are the one writing that story?....
To make it clear i am not harrassing you. I can almost hear you preparing that response.
However on the other hand it makes sense. This story is similar in the sense that it is rejecting concepts that would otherwise contradict it. Albeit here it is not taking into account what a stupid celestia would mean to begin with, or the ways that luna could handle an attempt on tiwlight's life.
in your vampire story you compeltely gloss over that ponies already have powers and thus the hwole vampire thing would be complicated by that. rather than think through and building the world, you just toss contradictory information to the side.
People enjoy your stuff so you should be driven to put better execution and thought into it.
And even as i typed this, a comment right above your reply is stating the issue. The power of the regal sisters and cadance is far too great for an army to overcome, and they even have discord. Civil war is a non issu.e I am not the only one seeing the flaws.
Edit
and even after i commented i see someone pointing out the many flaws in gallants actions. especially since he is supposedly skilled enough to be trusted by luna.