Scootaloo had always dreamed of flying. Now her wish and fantasy have come true, she now lives with her idol Rainbow Dash and even has her cutie mark.
But today is slightly a bit more exciting than they day of her first flight....
She is off to the one place all Pegasi dreams off.
Soon, all hell breaks lose as a certian somepony steps forward with the truth, throwing Scootaloo into a awkward situation.
Credit goes to mn27 for the art work
(I originally had this as a series of one shots, but I believe I broke a rule and so moved it into one story.)
Chapters (3)
3309794 Thank you for pointing it out, this has just been changed
extremely well done i would love to see a serious story written around this.
3309867 I may, depends on how the world takes it
So far so good
this is a cute story! i like it so far.
3310475 why thank you
Beautiful!
I'm sad you didn't grab me for some editing though.
3313394 you where asleep according to your daughter
3313554 CURSE YOU SANDMAN!
3313566 hehe
it was over in a moment
3313606 what do you mean?
3313609
it was just a moment in time, not really much more to say, you had a good build up, but i left me kind of high and dry like it didn't really have a point or the baseline was all you had, this would be a great opener for a story, but since it's a one off, it kind of just cut off too short or the feeling wasn't quite there
3313618 I see what you mean, well this is my first one shot, and my first story revolving around Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash. I do have plans in the works however to expand that story with a sequel, but I was testing the water so to speak. To she how well the story does and see what the response to the One shot was.
But thank you anyway for the comments, I really do appreciate it.
Needs some work. Lots of missing commas, some missing apostrophes, at least one missing period, and several run-on sentences. Those run-ons needs to be chopped up into smaller sentences, or at least divided with appropriately placed semi-colons. There's a good idea here, but have you given any thought to working with an editor?
3314221 I will admit this was rushed as my editor was away, but I thank thee for the suggestions...
3314221 expanding on your comment: Also, you may or may not know this, but when a charecter is identified after dialouge, a comma instead of a period is placed at the end of the dialougue, i.e.:
"I'm so glad I'm in the Wonderbolts," said Rainbow Dash.
Otherwise, grreat story
3309794>>3309867>>3310137>>3310475>>3313394>>3313606>>3314221>>3315087>>3315087 Thank you for your input, If you would all like to check my blog, I have opened this up for a vote as to whether or not to make a sequel
A Mother Superior is the head of a convent.
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111208153127/horrormovies/images/e/ed/Mother_Superior.png
Rainbow Dash is now Scoots Mother and also her superior.
Therefore Rainbow Dash is a nun
3465997 HAHA...I never meant to but in a joke like that, nice logic,
This was the perfect symphony of sadness and laughter!
Well done!
3559010 thank you
3560389 Anytime :D
Hmh, this is a mixed bag for me. Some bits feel forced and there are a few grammar issues. The short chapters stop me getting overwhelmed by it all though.
3950164 I know...its not my best
Someone sure is in trouble now cough cough rainbow dash cough cough spitfire cough