This is the tale of Spike and his unknown origins. Dragon Born is a stand alone work, though I may continue it and expand on it if enough people enjoyed reading it. For now though, it will be a One Shot story.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 30th Sep, 2013
- offline last seen Feb 23rd, 2021
Silver Page
I am a fledgling writer and author of a few short stories and a fan of all things fantasy, history, and literature.
Silver Page
Joined 30th Sep, 2013 ·
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This story is okay.
; but a wall of text tends to ward off readers.
I liked it, but maybe get rid of the caps. Maybe just bolding Vargonos's speech would look better. I'd love to see more, but no pressure if you don't want to do it.
However, Luna is blue, not black. Nightmare Moon is black.
3281910
I see, thanks, I missed that. Would Bolding really work? I wanted to invoke a sense of great size from Vargonos.
3281858Thank you for the advice KARLOS1234IFY. How would you suggest I change this? What sort of technique should I use to avoid this problem?
3281931 I get that, but caps lock pretty much always comes across as screaming, and that tends to annoy people. Bold gets your point across, without being so much of an eyesore. For me, bold implies a deep, gravelly or powerful voice. If you feel that's not enough, maybe increase the font size just a little.
I actually enjoyed this and hope you continue this story.
Sorry, some of the text got lost for a moment, had to fix that. Also, the all caps dialogue for Vargonos was replaced. It does look better now, so thanks for that catch, Silver Starlight!
Is there coming more
3282060 No problem, happy to help!
I would also like to see more of this story there is so little information out there about Spikes origins. But then I'm a little prejudiced when it comes to dragons.
This story sounds a bit like 'man of steel'....
or would that be dragon of steel?
Several weeks ago you asked me to review some of your work and I'm happy to say that I've finally gotten around to it. Honestly, I was a little unsure of reading this as I almost never read stories about Spike or other dragons in general. However, once reading I was really impressed with your interpretation of his origins. I noticed in the comments several 'errors' with bolding or adjectives and I can only assume you fixed everything because I could not find anything wrong. I've never rated a story before, but have a Spike because this was pretty good.
3496976
Thank you for your review of my work! I'm glad you liked it, and am glad you gave your opinion.
I look forward to reading more of your work, and hope you do for mine.