The home of the Shadowbolts Adventures and various other stories, mostly related to Equestria Girls.
Rainbow Dash is the cadet commander of her own squad, but Snowflake hasn't been advancing like the rest of her squad has. He's lagging behind and dragging the entire team down, yet Rainbow finds herself unable to stomach the thought of turning him away and sending him home. How can she make her squad the best it can be without crushing a good friend's ambitions and dreams?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I like it. Your writing is good, no grammar or spelling mistakes. Great pacing. Very solid and sturdy characterization. An original, well thought out plot. This is an excellent work, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to others.
I have to say, this was a very solid character-piece, especially for Rainbow, but also for Snowflake and to a lesser extent Lightning Dust.
The pacing was great and the characters were believable and in-character, though I wouldn't have minded if the story were a bit longer, so that the relationships between the characters could have been fleshed out a bit more. I wouldn't have minded more scenes with Rainbow and Lightning Dust and Spitfire respectively, and I (personally) wouldn't have minded a bit more focus on how Snowflake handled his failure; considering how central his determination and ambition despite his disadvantage was, he got over it a bit fast IMO. But then again, all that might have killed the pacing, i dunno.
But nonetheless, this was an extremely enjoyable story. Great work!
Man, this could easily have been a real episode, and I mean that in a good way. Everypony is in character, the events are believable, and the plot was well-crafted and executed. Not to mention it had a very thought-provoking look at the concept of loyalty. Nice use of background ponies, too. All in all, a great story.
And now I have that Loyalty song stuck in my head.
This honestly feels like it could be an episode, should season five with Rainbow Dash in the Wonderbolts ever gets created. :D The moral dilemma is very realistic: being caught between supporting your friend's dream when the dream is impossible and doing your duty and letting him go is something anyone might have to do one day. It's like having a really friendly employee who works for you who's a great guy but has so much trouble doing his job that he's holding things back.
Good job! Keep it up!
Hi there! You know, Fimfiction now have Bulk Biceps (ex-Snowflake) character tag! You can add it to your story!
i hate to say this but if this was real life and was set in basic training for the Air Force then bulks would either be referred to the Army or Marines or be let go of almost immediately. The reason why is the wonderbolts' military equivalent is a QRF team and they need people who can get the job done and respond in as quick as a wink not those who slow down everyone because of one thing or another. *plus there is the possible use of steroids in Bulks body, you cannot literally have that many muscles and be able to do anything