"Sir, unidentified warship in 5 nautical miles. What are we gonna do sir?"
"Contact the USS Stetham to fire a warning shot at the vessel."
"Aye sir!"
The Lt. moves to the communication room and ordered to the USS Stetham:
"Unidentified warship at 5 nautical miles northeast. Elevation: 110. Fire a warning shot."
As the message was relayed, the gun of the Stetham traversed to the vessel, and fired the shot, only to be replied by another shot.
"Sir, the ship is still firing at us!"
"Well, we have no choice here. All ships, intercept course and return fire!"
Task Force Fleet Washington moved to battle formation, with guns of the modern destroyers firing back at the unidentified warship, turning the potshot into a major sea confrontation. The other ones fire Tomahawk Missiles, which proves deadly. 15 minutes into the confrontation, a Tomahawk hits the ship, with 2 direct hits from the USS Fitzgerald and USS John S. McCain following it. The unidentified ship ripped apart and split into two, with the US Ships deploying rescue parties to have some survivors to talk with.
*At Manehattan, before and after the confrontation*
"No! Dashie!" Rarity cried.
The Mane 6 and the princess watch in muted horror as Rainbow Dash plunged into the sea, only to be being boarded in a smaller boat than the rest.
"No......."Princess Celestia cried.
The Mane 6 and Princess Celestia rage about what happened to Rainbow Dash. However, 5 minutes later, a splash was heard and they turned their heads towards it, to see a column of water near the fleet.
"Uhm....Where did that come from?" Fluttershy asked.
"I-" But before Rarity could answer, a shot was heard,then another, and another. They turned and saw the ships firing at an unknown direction, only to see in that particular direction, a wooden ship with a flag on it.
"What in old's name is that?" Applejack ask.
"A ship with some kind of flag on it." Twilight responds.
Princess Celestia, not wanting to have the Elements of Harmony in grave danger, sought to talk to the Captain of the Fleet.
Then suddenly.........
*BOOM*
The mares quickly turned their heads and saw the wooden ship split in two, with smaller boats with creatures moving towards it.
*At the Bridge, USS Fitzgerald*
"I don't want to be the receiving end of that." Rainbow gulped in shocked.
She was told about the history of the United States Navy, it's action in WW2, and the very gun she saw cause devastation.
"I don't like it either, but it's the least we could do." John said.
"Why? Why would you do this?" Rainbow asked.
"It was our duty, in the past, present and future, to protect our country from the threats, from the British, to support the Allies, and now, combat terrorism." John replied.
"What is terrorism?"
"Terrorism means using violent force to give them what they want."
"Oh......Do you have?"
"Yes, our threat was the Al-Qaeda, an Islamic Terrorist Group."
"I don't like terrorism. If I heard that there was in Equestria, I would certainly want them out."
"The same with us."
*At the rescue site*
"Uhm sir...Our directive was to know if there is any survivors from this ship."
"I know that 2nd Lt.. However, I'm still worried with that......flag over there." Captain Kael Werner, commander of the USS Curtis Weber, pointed out.
The rescue party turned their heads and saw the flag. It was a red cross with the initials GPLF in it.
"WTF is this 'GPLF' means?"
"Dunno what is means. Regardless, let's look for survivors in the water."
"Aye sir!"
The rescue party searched relentlessly for any lucky survivors. Every passing second, minute or hour, nothing.....Until, a crew spotted something.
"Sir!"
The rescue party turned their heads and saw a lucky survivor, but not an ordinary one. It is a horse alright, but black and has 6 red eyes.
"Odd-looking creature."
"Same here."
"Just shut up and get this survivor to the ship."
"Aye sir!"
When they tried to rescue the unusual horse, they found 6 more, lying unconscious, but breathing. They put the horses into the boat and moved into their ship. But when they arrived, they saw another group of horses, this time in different colors, not the same as the ones they rescued.
*Before and After*
"Let's board their ship so we could.......you-know-what!" Rarity said.
"I agree, but brute force is not the answer." Princess Celestia replied.
"How are we gonna board this ship princess?" Twilight asked.
But before she could get an answer, a great white flash suddenly overwhelms. The next thing they new, they are boarded in the ship. They noticed it's unusual design. It's made out of metal, not the typical wooden type, and has a stick poking out of something. But when they heard a noise, they turned their heads and saw the beings in a small boat and have 7 mares with them, just like them, only to be more.....unusual.
*Encounter*
"Dafuq are they?"
"Will you pls identify yourselves?"
"Hello, my name is Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria. And these are the Elements of Harmony."
"What are their names Ms. Celestia?"
"This is Twilight Sparkle, my personal student of mine. This is Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack. Including Pinkie Pie. Have you seen Rainbow Dash?"
"Why yes madam. She is in the bridge, but I will need to get these unusual survivors on-board."
"Yes you may."
The creatures got out of the boats and proceeds to the Ward Room, where they treat the 7 unusual ponies. The Mane 6 and princess,accompanied by John who introduces himself a while ago, check out Rainbow Dash.
"Hi Dash!"
Rainbow Dash turned her head and saw her friends, and John.
"H...Hi Guys."
"My word darling. What happened to you?" Rarity asked.
Rainbow Dash couldn't speak a word, but John breaks the silence.
"We thought she would endanger our flyboy, so we take necessary actions. We took our guns, aimed, and fired. Perhaps we have injured her too much."
"How dare you!"
"It was just our instinct mam."
Suddenly, a voice moves in.
"Captain, the survivors are waking up. I advice you to come to them immediately."
"Understood."
"Where are we going?"
"To the ward room."
The captain, the Mane 6 and the Princess moved into the ward room, and saw the 7 ponies alive.
"Well howdy....." But before Applejack could finish her sentence, a green colored pony, much like her, moved into her face.
"Who....Who are you?"
"I'm Rottenbunch. I was revived by Dimmed Star, which is right over there."
They look at Dimmed Star, and Twilight was shocked to see herself, in a much more darker form.
"Hello, my name is Dimmed Star, a personal student of Queen Blackhood."
Twilight, and the rest of the gang, was in shock to learn about it. Twilight didn't know, that her darker form has a teacher, much like her. What's worse, the queen Dimmed talked about was actually the darker self of Princess Celestia.
"Let me ask you guys."
The rest of the unusual ponies wake up, and the 2 woken ones gathered around John.
"Where do you all come from?"
"My name is Queen Blackhood. I was once a co-ruler of Equinox, before I could my sister, Eclipse."
The Mane 6 and the princess herself was in shock to learn about it. Nothing, in anypony's lives, to hear that a co-ruler would kill her own sister. John continued the conversation.
"What does GPLF means? Who was it's leader?"
The Equinoxean ponies were speechless to hear an unknown specie to ask the GPLF. Finally, after a long purge of silence, Dimmed Star spoke.
"GPLF means Global Pony Liberation Front. It's aim, however, was a closely-guarded secret, and I can't even tell you about it. The leader, is also secret."
"Please tell me." Celestia then spoke.
"I told you, it's a closely-guarded secret. It can't be revealed."
"Uhm.....Guys?" Pinkie asked.
"What is it?" a red form of Pinkie asked also.
"My Pinkie Sense is tingling and it's coming from above. By the way, who are you?"
"My name is Zalgy Cake, and I'm a pony of jokes. But sometimes, I could make those jokes hurt people. But in my state of depression, my name now turns to Zalgressa, and disturb me, that's a death wish. Just ask me what is happening, or lock me inside my house."
"Oh."
*At the USS George Washington*
"Sir! Several bogeys detected!"
"Shit.....Send in the Hornets Lt.!"
"Yes sir!"
As the siren wails, the pilots of the Hornets rushed to their aircrafts, and flew off to intercept the bogeys. In the USS Fitzgerald, the Mane 6, princess, and Equinoxean ponies saw in utter awe as jets flew by, shooting the bogeys down one and another. The Battle of the Skies has began, and ended in the US Navy's favor.
'I don't know what's there intent, but I will be on alert.' Celestia thought.
The fleet was steaming north, with some pony vessels behind it, some 10 nautical miles south of it and secretly follow the fleet, in hopes to know it's secret.
3272172Sure, do must you want.
Chapter 3 is still not finish, but I will give my best shot to finish because I posted this chapters before my 2nd Quarter exams. I will edit Chapter 3 after the exams. :)
Don't be surprised if you catch flak. That's kind of how a first story is supposed to be (usually). You learn and write another one.
3272189Actually, this my 2nd story that is because my first one is an epic failure with a lot grammatical errors. This one is improved.
3272200
Ah, I figured it was a bit better for one who joined in a day. Still, don't expect this to be a massive win. Just, keep coming up with ideas and learning. If you want, I can also pre-read for you. My main advice is to just read some other war fics (or war books in general) to get a good feel for things. Or, if it's on something else other than military, something similar to that.
3272208I still need to this blog because I'm new to it. However, I love the military, so that's why I created these stories, blending past and present, and to add a little description about it. And yes, I'm still doing my best of not having grammatical errors and what not.
3272218
Well, i'm here to help if you need it. Feel free to come and ask anything.
3272224Sure.
3272225
Also, choose a main character and a few more categories.
3272233In due respect sir,but the there is no main characters here. This means, this is a neutral story, so it could revolve in every character presented in the chapters. But I'm also adding categories for just one thing, the very plot of the story. But I'm now adding a few categories in the story.
3272256
Well, alright. It's up to you. Just keep writing and getting better and you'll do better. And like I said, read other stuff. Good ones to pick up what they do, bad ones to see what not to do, stories that pertain to your genre.
Like me, I did a crossover with Team Yankee and Brothers in Arms. So, before I write, I have to read Team Yankee or play Brothers in Arms. This isn't really a cross, so you've got that extra freedom. Still, read something like, say Tom Clancy, to get into the groove of writing good military works.
3272278I agree on your suggestion sir. But I'm now thinking, who will be the leader of the GPLF. I got it from my homelands(Philippine) Islamic Group, the MILF(Moro Islamic Liberation Front). It's a break-away group from the MNLF(Moro National Liberation Front).
3272291
Just keep thinking and keep and open mind.
3272360Sure thing. And uh, did you happen to read Chapter 1 and saw the '...ships appeared in an alien-like entrance.'?
3272371
Like I said, I skimmed mostly. With me, when I started writing, I read less and less fics. It seems like the average Military in Equestria fic. It's ok. Still, keep coming up with original ideas.
The biggest thing wrong with your writing is that you keep switching back and forth between past and present tense.
You seem to know a lot about the Navy and ships, although "Private" is not a Navy rank.
I'm seeing character names from the movie Battleship, but I'm not sure if this is a crossover or what.
I think it's pretty clear that English isn't your first language. Keep practicing your writing and you'll get a lot better.
3272616Tnx man
3272764
One other thing, what exactly is the time period the ships were plucked from?
3272909Actually, in due respect, I actually blended past and present. I have the Iowa-class Battleships in the 1980's while the 3 other ships are later than the Battleships itself. And moved them in a fixed time period.
3272914
So, you're gathering a fleet from ships several time periods?
3272943That would be correct. It's just my style, and how do you suppose a fleet of ships without air cover while the enemy has?
3272999
Yea, then listen to TNB and be careful with time spacing. And like I said, i'd be happy to help you with anything.
3273118TNB? What stands for?
3273121
TNB-This guy>>3272616
3273144Oh that guy.
3273191
Yea, you'll want to learn acronyms too
3273468Yup.
3273536
But do not fear, for I shall train you. YOU WILL NOT LAUGH! YOU WILL NOT CRY! YOU SHALL LEARN BY THE NUMBERS! I SHALL TEACH YOU! NOW ! GET UP! GET ON YOUR FEET!
3273590 Affirmative!
3273599
Were there any other ideas you had?
3273615 Ideas? Hmmm.....Well, I'm now having difficulty to know what will be the leader of the GPLF. I got 3 options:
1.) Dimmed Star(Equinox counter-part of Twilight)
2.) Queen Chrysalis
3.) Medusa(LOL)
3273622
Hm, not sure. Chrysalis seems s little cliché. It's a more serious story, so no Medusa. I'm a little confused on the cross of Twilight. What is she?
3273643 Oh you mean Dimmed Star? She is the counter-part of Twilight Sparkle. She has 2 snakes from a pool of black something, and has a cutie mark: a black cross-shaped star with 2 little white ones. This signifies that black magic is more superior than white magic. In of the fic that I just read, Twilight turned to Dimmed Star during the Canterlot Wedding Part 2.
3273656
Ah, ok.
Be honest, my advice would be to come up with an OC for the leader. Also, any other stories you were thinking of?
3273667 I was thinking a new story after this one. It's called Pacific Rim, and it will use the same characters in the movie in the same name. Only, 4 Jaegers will be there: Striker Eureka, Gipsy Danger, Crimson Typhoon and Cherno Alpha. The Jaegers original pilots(except for Gipsy, that is Raleigh Becket and Mako Mori and Striker, Marshal Pentecost and the other guy). Another one is that a regiment of M1 Abrams got teleported to Equestria.
3273678
Well, there in lies the problem of originality. I'm pretty sure a Pacific Rim Cross has been done (check it up, I don't really remember) and my Team Yankee story is basically sending a company of M1s there. So premise wise, it's not really anything new. Always do your research.
Still, it depends somewhat on what they do once they get there. That's where you can break away from the others.
3273709 Ok. I'm still thinking though.
3273728
Keep at it.
3273750 Uhmm......I'm now thinking of a story that different mix of nationalities in tanks have been teleported to Equestria. I don't know if it is very legit or not.
3273771
Now that's never been done. Be honest, there's few real tanks stories, but the one you suggested earlier just happened to sound exactly like mine.
Now a mix of nationalities, that'd be something. What era would it be in?
3273783 WW2 Tanks to be precise. American, German, Russian, British etc.
3273791
Sounds legit. I read a general Patton story, but that only had one Sherman and one Tiger. Several tanks from all sides is certainly original
3273799 Yup.
3273807
Be honest, It sounds like it could be a success. If you want to start writing, i'll pre-read for you.
3273811 Sure.
3273813
Just let me know when
3273865 Actually, it is already in-making, but put on hold because I just can't create 2 stories in one time.
3273877
it's up to you.
3274055 Writing again.....Prologue
Um, the last time I checked, F-22s aren't launched by CATOBAR, or any other catapult system. How about some F-35C's instead?