Discord's Solitude

by Listener

Memories and Regrets

Time has lost all meaning.

Without touch.

Without seeing.

Without Hearing.

There is no point to time.

But that doesn’t stop it from getting to me.

I can no longer remember what I was called. All I know is that I was imprisoned in stone. A statue. After so long, I think death would have been kinder.

It was chaos that led me to my current position. Chaos. I think.

Everything is fuzzy. My memory is all I have left. My sanity.

And even that is leaving, locked in a permanent solitude. It is just my mind that I have to occupy myself. But I fear that it too is leaving.

I can’t remember events I know I should. I remember things that aren’t possible.

It all comes back to chaos.

There is a memory that I cling to. It is one of a mare. A white mare. She doesn’t understand. She fears it.

She fears chaos.

She doesn’t see what it really is. It is balance. It is the natural commonplace between right and wrong. Good and evil. Light and dark.

I would’ve laughed, if I could. She herself was light, and her sister was dark. She should know.

But she doesn’t.

She blames me.

For the chaos.

It wasn’t me. I am simply a catalyst for it. I cannot control something by definition cannot be controlled!

But it was my fault, in her eyes.

She imprisoned me.

For which I cannot fault her.

For I am different.

A danger.

That is why I’m here.

Right?

---

The memories are getting harder and harder to tell apart. The true memories. The false ones.

It scares me.

Celestia and her sister. They used order to seal me away. Order embodied as medallions and a tiara.

I have no idea why I was simply turned to stone. But my mind turns to one answer. The one answer that everything must turn to, turn into, over time.

Chaos.

Order can’t hold chaos. Chaos is order, altered. Chaos was order.

A long time ago.

Time.

A concept that has no meaning.

Anymore.

---

How much time has passed outside my prison?

What has changed?

Celestia, your progress is just hidden chaos. The good kind. Chaos hidden by order.

To have order, you must have chaos. To evolve, you must take chaos as it is.

Progress.

I hope that events have not stalled outside of my stone shell.

In order for this world to survive, chaos must live.

But I fear that this is not the case.

Celestia.

Please.

See reason.

---

Something has changed.

The balanced is shifted.

What has happened?

The dark, the evil.

It is winning.

I cannot tell why.

Perhaps she has kept the chaos hidden for too long, and it has overflown the dam.

----

Now the light, the good, it has won.

The evil is still there, but... farther.

I do not know why I know.

I just do.

---

She doesn’t understand! Chaos isn’t evil! Chaos isn’t good! It is neutral! It is order! It is nothing! It is in between!

It is everything! Everything is at it’s core chaotic. Can you predict the wind? Can you predict a pony’s heart? Can you predict life itself, and its end? Can you predict death?

Can you! Can you predict anything with any certainty!?

All you have is illusions! Lies! A fabrication that has come from fear of something that doesn’t need to be feared. You can predict nothing, but you can use something for good!

You fear it because of it’s ability for evil.

A pony is just as capable of evil! That is chaos!

A pony may save a life while sacrificing his own! That is chaos!

A bystander my do nothing! Chaos!

You could not predict those actions! You cannot!

You cannot, and to believe so is to bring about the very chaos you choose to ignore!

You! The mare I cannot remember, but know so well!

Please! Understand!

Understand this!

Please!

---

I... I cannot remember.

Who am I?

What am I?

Where am I?

I have been here a long time. I think.

I... I do not know.

Please.

Help me.

---

She has trapped me here, alone for far too long! She is meddling with things she cannot hope to understand!

Who are you!?

Why don’t I remember!?

Why can’t I remember!?

---

I remember what I need to forget.

I forget what I need to remember.

How long?

How long since I have had true control over my mind?

Did I ever have control over it?

---

You. The pony I cannot remember.

I know you.

I see you.

You are shrouded in smoke.

Your... sister? She is shrouded in dark.

No! I do not wish to remember!

But I must.

I try to plead with you.

You do not listen.

The... elements?

They are lighting up. I look at you and your sister.

She has a look of anger.

But you...

You look sad, but compelled.

It is as it must be.

As it always must be.

...

No.

You could have listened!

You could have tried to understand!

---

Do I even exist.

Do you?

Am I just a figment of some sleeping god’s dreams?

Are you?

I cannot even remember your name.

I can barely remember what happened.

You imprisoned me.

Why?

I remember...

You didn’t believe me!

You were my friend!

I see this now! I have known this for far too long!

I just did not believe!

Celestia! That is your name!

My executioner! My condemner! My....

Friend.

I am sorry Celestia. I am no longer myself.

I have become what you have feared.

Discord.

---

I hear her gasps, this ... Twilight Sparkle.

She is different. I hope that... that she can explain to Celestia.

Why. Why I have done this. Why it must be done.

Chaos has been controlled for too long. I wanted, no, needed to balance it out.

But rather than let chaos destroy this land I used to call home, I just unleashed it all at once.

But I knew it wouldn’t last.

I let it end.

I let her and her friends seal me in stone again.

But only after I have explained it to her.

To explain to... Celestia.

---

It isn’t so bad, here in stone.

Maybe now... she will understand.

---

I remember that memory now. It is so clear.

I can see you Celestia.

I can see Luna too.

She is angry. I have threatened her subjects.

But you...

You are crying.

For me.

Celestia.

Please.

Understand.

And forgive me.

And yourself.

Author's Note:

And in the end even S'buth fell to the chaos he saught to evade.

Anyways! My first fic for the Oneshotober!

1/31!

Tell me what you think!

Comments

[Novalis14]

This is very well done... I can't even find the words to explain it. I agree with what you said (although I honestly think discord also just likes to get a laugh out of it) You used the perfect words, you got your points across simply yet poetically and you didn't once lose me. Bravo! I am going to share this with as many people as I can

[Nerfyy]

OH MY GOOOOD THIS WAS AAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING
HOLLY CRAB THIS IS AWESOME
please please PLEASE continue this

[Grey Faerie]

Flippity! Someone with the same thoughts as my own!

I have the exact same idea. Order and Chaos are not enemies. They need each other for life to be sustained. To refuse chaos or to see it as evil is to deny a very principle of the universe. One of my own Oneshotober fics will be about Discord explaining that Chaos creates the spark for life then Order keeps it going. Chaos gives it necessary challenges while Order gives it a pattern.

You can't have only Chaos or Order. It is like weather patterns or seasons. A constant change(chaos) but has predictability(order). To have only one would kill off any life. I love it.

[Listener]

Wha? Holy crap, comments on story?

4943222
Well, thank you! I tried for simple, yet for things that held a lot of meaning. And, for another thing, thank you a lot! You apparently did something, because I suddenly have six favourites on this story.

4943433
I never thought about making a sequel, but... I might. Thanks for the
kind words~

4944019
Exactly! :D

[not original for names]

I like the relation that Discord and Celestia have, how chaos is the balance for order and an injured Celestia that (to her) the only option left was to imprison a friend

Just... some little errors, but a great story nonetheless

I really enjoyed this, like and fav.

[MoltenXKid]

Oneshotober. Never heard of it. The story, however, I approve of. The memory mixed with time really tied this together for me.

[Lost_Marbles]

Certainly an interesting topic. Discord is aware of the outside world while he is stone, that is cannon, and I'm pretty sure I've seen a lot of fics use this for plot.

However, this fic wasn't for me. It was too vague and I couldn't find myself getting invested. I liked the idea that Discord became Discord because of this time trapped in stone, but I think it could have been better executed.