“But lets not think too far ahead just yet.” Mac said with a smirk. “Instead, let me show just how much control I think of have over this strange powers. Crab onto my cock. It’s time I stop worrying and just live the dream.”

this story needs a better editor
typos and auto-corrects EVERYTWHERE!
i would be willing to help out
go through and fix some
PM me if you want to do this

5506132 Its the reason I posted the editing request. I couldn;t find anyone to proof read and was eager to post. And yes, Autocoret sucks.

I'll send you the story through a PM.

5506159
well alrightie then, I should be able to go through it by tomorrow, but no promises. Because it's late, and I did not expect a reply this soon

5506174 Understood. I normally really good with replies. Its one of the things I look forward to the most when posting new content.

So that's a thing?
Cool.

Yeah, this would be much better if it got some proofreading. I can't help right now, but I'll see what I can do over the weekend.

I loved it! It is awesome. Waited a while for this but it had been worth it.
You are great.

5508083 I'm really happy to here that. This took a'lot longer to wright than I anticipated, but lucky you guys won't have to wait to long for the edited version. I'm so glad I deeded to turn add a harem element to this story. I thought it was a hot idea, and would again make Mac more likable character by forming bonds of love with some of the mares he'll encounter. Plus, considering what he's becoming, it seems rather fitting.

5508737 mhm, I agree. Again, you are awesome, Dash. So are your works.

a really hot chapter. but please do hurry and get an editor, the errors really ruin the flow at times.

5521375 I'm really sorry. I the person who I sent it to never got back to me. I really should have waited before posting. The good version will be up soon.

Edit: Will blog when its finished.

1) Are you using phone for writing, or something with t9 autocorrect feature? This is really kinda not good, there are just silly mistakes every so often.
2) I think the BM growth was surprisingly short: I didn't get the feeling of it. Perhaps next time little more descriptions, please? Just, you know, to get the feeling of a picture. Ah, well, who am I to ask, you know me.
3) Overall, I liked chapter kinda possible secret message: what if BM is already possessed by the powers of that potion and those powers are working, like, subconsciously? And he thinks this is, like, totally normal, not nothing too outstanding? Like, he secretly wanted to have a personal harem, while it was forbidden until he got the powers?
Like, in previous chapters he was kinda struggling against it, yet now he is taking all this weirdness quite easy - well, as long as there is a nice excuse for him, like Luna's overall hunger for stallion's attention and stuff maybe those powers are changing them to bring those excuses just to assure that everything is cool, mmm?

I can help you with some minor mistakes (the typos and misplaced commas and stuff), but I am not promising that it would be percent perfect. If you are interested, just email me. Well, and check email too

5524479 I'm still waiting for someone to correct it. Normally if I can't find anyone I'd as one of folks to edit, for obvious reason that is out of the question. I promise, I'll get the good version up soon for you all to enjoy. If anyone wants to help, I could use it.

5524592

Have done a complete edit of "Let's Do The Time Warp Again!", how do you want me to send it to you?

5528116 Awesome. Please. Send it to me through either PM either by copy past or a Google Docs link.

5528780 if this edit didn't turn out, I can take a swing at it. I don't have much else to do lately, just sitting on my ads all day waiting to do something - this will let me do something productive, and see where this goes...

Where's the next chapter?

7105112 Not for a wile. Don't graduate till may... and then I actually have to wright the next chapter.

But the good news is.... I've got large chuck of it done already. Just need to finish it and get it edited.

So I've caught up, and REALLY trying to ignore grammar and misspellings aside, I thought the story content was going somewhat good until here. Big Mac pretty much just became a Gary Stu the moment he took the potion the first chapter, especially with all the "It will work for one with the purest of hearts" shtick. I thought it was going to be a clop story for the sake of clop, so I let that slide, but I'm starting to see you're putting an effort to put in story elements that I honestly think aren't making this any better. The moment the marriage came up and how it was delivered, I just lost the will to go on from there.

The clop scenes were kind of meh, how they were described at some parts kind of rubbed me the wrong way, and I just thought it was time to stop. I don't dislike it, but I don't like it either, so I'm just going to leave this blank. I put up my reasons, I hope you'll improve, but I'll stop reading from here on.

Omg this is amazing!! Not just the fetish but the story in general! Really brings out the Sweet side of Mac. plus I now ship Mac and Twi

8879791
Among many others

Are you going to continue this greatness?