An earth pony scientist aims to find out how six ancient godesses, an excitable pegasus brain, and an obnoxious twelve year old messiah can end Equestria's thousand year winter.
From chapter one, this had me hooked. Trying to piece together the fragments of current events and prior memories is something you've managed beautifully. I can definitely see some similarities growing between this and the Fallout/ Fo: E universe, but since you've already stated you haven't been exposed to them, there's no point in drawing parallels or pointing fingers here.
But this? This is great. Definitely anticipating the next chapter.
Thank you! I enjoyed Ponyville 911 immensely (it's terribly... fun) and hold your praise in high esteem.
In Creative Writing 101, the espoused standard operating procedure is to engender rapport with the protagonist as soon as possible. Front-load exposition on their opinions and beliefs. Establish a baseline.
3587903 Well, I'd say you're doing a sight better than the standard for the trope. Keep it up! Seems like Lozenge is just starting to come together. It'll be interesting to see just where she stands as things continue to play out.
Comment posted by Hierophant deleted Dec 28th, 2013
Blocking them with a door only delayed them until they could find a vent. Of course! They must be tracking us by something other than sight or sound. This was chemistry. Making a lure would be complicated, and require ingredients I didn't have, but I could make something so strong it would screen everything.
"What'n-the-hay 're you doin', Lozenge?"
I was flustered and hurried, rage and fear shaking my muzzle as I tried to maintain the required precision to mix the chemicals in my kit. I only managed to blurt back, "Science!"
i.imgur.com/nJMO2cE.gif Ah... haha. I see that. I admit that even through my cynicism I smiled inwardly.
Those moths were an interesting, if horrifying, addition to the story. A fair bit unsettling to read about. I only wonder how they survive and in such great number in a lifeless waste of frost if they seemingly have adapted to feed off of flesh and blood. Nevertheless I enjoy seeing how magic life is altered after such events of an apocalypse. That's why I like the genre even more so when combined with the setting of this show.
Big reveals are supposed to make you go "why didn't I see that coming?" not "what did I miss?" Is it just me? Am I just like, skipping pages on accident?
This is fucking gold.
From chapter one, this had me hooked. Trying to piece together the fragments of current events and prior memories is something you've managed beautifully. I can definitely see some similarities growing between this and the Fallout/ Fo: E universe, but since you've already stated you haven't been exposed to them, there's no point in drawing parallels or pointing fingers here.
But this? This is great. Definitely anticipating the next chapter.
3585696
Thank you! I enjoyed Ponyville 911 immensely (it's terribly... fun) and hold your praise in high esteem.
In Creative Writing 101, the espoused standard operating procedure is to engender rapport with the protagonist as soon as possible. Front-load exposition on their opinions and beliefs. Establish a baseline.
As contrarian to convention as I strain to be, I posed the question: "What if the character itself doesn't know who it is?" It's a delicate balance (taking that gimmick too far is a slog, and beyond my current ability) to be sure, but the fruition of this narrative device is key. I endeavored to make it a little more in depth than the standard trope. My hope is it comes off as believable.
3587903
Well, I'd say you're doing a sight better than the standard for the trope. Keep it up! Seems like Lozenge is just starting to come together. It'll be interesting to see just where she stands as things continue to play out.
I'll say this much: Anyone who gives some respect to Diamond Dogs can't be a bad person.
3746832
If that's your opinion, by the end of the story you'll think I'm a saint.
3826400
Then I owe it to myself to read the buck out of this.
i.imgur.com/nJMO2cE.gif
Ah... haha. I see that. I admit that even through my cynicism I smiled inwardly.
Those moths were an interesting, if horrifying, addition to the story. A fair bit unsettling to read about. I only wonder how they survive and in such great number in a lifeless waste of frost if they seemingly have adapted to feed off of flesh and blood. Nevertheless I enjoy seeing how magic life is altered after such events of an apocalypse. That's why I like the genre even more so when combined with the setting of this show.
The sixth what?
Big reveals are supposed to make you go "why didn't I see that coming?" not "what did I miss?" Is it just me? Am I just like, skipping pages on accident?