• Member Since 15th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 19th, 2017

Obselescence


[center]Bye guys[/center]

E
Source

Twilight Sparkle has walked the wastelands for a very long time, but now, at last, he has reached the end of his journey. He only hopes now that the gods will listen to his prayers, and finally allow him a good place to die.

(Please read the story before commenting on the description)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 178 )

A very interesting read, and a good example of how leaving the details out helps the story overall.

Curse you Obs, now I have ideas in my head for glorious last stand stories :rainbowwild:

Damn.

This was impressive.

Kind of a post apocalypse changeling world, yeah?

~Skeeter The Lurker

I was right: I did like this. You magnificent bastard.

This is excellent. It has such an interesting concept, and it is executed beautifully. Leaving out the details and keeping it vague is what sold this story to me, I think; it is very powerful.

A fave from me.

I liked it. It started with nothing and grew into something with the promise of even more somethings. Something is good.

Twilight Sparkle is a girl

3460778

I'm aware. :P It's accounted for in the story.

3460781 then why did you say she was a boy in the description

3460782

It's, uh, a thing that's been accounted for in the story. You might find out if you read it. :P

stanku #12 · Nov 8th, 2013 · · 11 ·

Hmm, now why did you have to go and ruin a completely sound sad story with a happy ending? Seriously, though, I liked the way you depicted the fervent religious nature of "Twilight" in this fic, and on the whole the story worked well. It's hard to build a narrative with mostly one character thinking to himself, but this piece of writing was one of those better attempts at that, I think.

At some point I was expecting that "Twilight" would turn against "Applejack" by getting this idea that he would be the instrument the gods had send to deal with the heretic. But that's just how I would've wanted the story play out, being a big fan of dark fics.

Feels kinda weird reading a story from the person who approves stories on this site:twilightoops: but loved it anyways:pinkiehappy:

Wait, what? Cover photo's a Changeling, and the description refers to Twilight as a guy? :rainbowhuh:

OBS, TWILIGHT IS A GIRL.

DUH.

GEEZ, DUDE. DO YOU EVEN WATCH THE SHOW?

I think I went too far.

3460984 Read the story. The 'Twilight Sparkle' in this story is a changeling that took Twilight's name.

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:facehoof:
Read the fine print.

A wonderful story, Obs. I enjoyed it very much.

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It's okay. Obs didn't notice it, either. The fine print was obscured by his beard.

THE BEARD HE DOESN'T HAVE.

:trollestia:

Oh God.
That was beautiful.

*Le clap*.

Europa #23 · Nov 8th, 2013 · · 4 ·

No.

I forbid it.

You will remove the Complete tag.

You will continue to write this.

I command you.

3460778
Yeah, and males have penises.

That was incredible, a superbly executed old-civilization-dies-and-is-worshipped-as-gods, but in the context of changelings vs. ponies it makes a frightening amount of sense.

last, he has

She.
Unless this is a male by the same name.

And still no answer cme.

Dude, where's my "a"?

3461349

It is. I did advise reading the story before commenting on the description. :(

3461488

Thanks for the catch! Fixed.

Man, that was awesome. Every single word and letter. Bravo! :fluttercry:

So, the "gods" were destroyed by an invasion, apparently.

I can only imagine the reaction should the protagonists discover that it was the changelings that were behind it. Oh, how horrified they would be!

3461206

Very nice story. I do have one thought -

Twilight Sparkle: the faithful acolyte
Applejack: the family-oriented pragmatist

Equestria really does name children based their destiny doesn't it? :rainbowhuh:

3460984

Poe's law, in broader form, is:

Without a blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of extremism or fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing.

Joural #33 · Nov 8th, 2013 · · 2 ·

do me a favour-

never, ever write a sequel, side story, prequel, or anything else related to this story.

This story is BRILLIANT. 5/5 mustaches for sure. But adding to it would, paradoxically, subtract from it, and leave a much lesser experience behind. Please, do not make the foalish mistake so many have before.

Regardless, enjoy the mustaches.

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Eden #34 · Nov 8th, 2013 · · 1 ·

Wonderful, a very interesting story :twilightsmile:

3461658
I must agree with Joural: this story needs no embellishment, sequel, or anything else. It is one of the most incredible self-contained stories I have ever read on this site. On the strength of it alone I will Follow the author in hopes of reading more.

Fantastically done, masterfully executed, and truly beautiful. Thank you, Obselescence. :heart:

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

I'll join in against the no more consensus : I want to know what the final fate of the ponies was. Whether they were all eaten, or whether they successfully fled to some sort of enclave.

3461658 Though, I would like to know what sort of war could cause this....

A great story, very original and powerful. I loved it.

3461972

Take whatever image you have in your head.

Expand upon it.

See the causes, examine them, come up with why the ponies are statues.

Now, put it in a box. That box is yours. You can share it with others, but never ever demand a story is written.

These kinds of stories are great because they leave so much to the imagination, and there is no way any other work would expand upon it in a matter more meaningful than what you just came up with. The greatest thing a story teller can do is ask you to think for yourself, and responding with 'but I want to know!' is spitting in the face of that achievement. For the sake of this story, the cause is not significant. If it were? We would hear about it.

please make a side-quel or prequel about why twilight and the others fled. why did they flee. I must know.

Interesting . The lessons learned here would be beneficial to the assholes of the world today.

..It's good.

PS: Do you get the ability to approve yourself? How does that work?

Oh, wow. This was beautiful. Chilling, bleak, and then that ending - just beautiful.

Exquisitely done. To say more would spoil it. To those of you reading this: Stop. Scroll back up. Read the story. It's damn good.

Wow, that was quite nice. I usually have trouble with bleak post-apocalyptic pony fiction, but this one ended with just enough of a hope spot that I feel satisfied. Heck, perhaps the ponies aren't even dead - there's so little that we know about the backstory, who knows what happened? In the meantime, though, those left behind seem like the might well be worthy successors.

There's just one little problem, though. Twilight's a mare, not a stallion. Should probably fix that.

This was an amazing story. I never thought I would have such strong feelings for a Changeling, but seeing Changelings go to zealous lengths to worship the ones who would rather slaughter them instead of give them their love is so sad to me, as is the futility of their search for these "gods". The discovery of love through their own means at the end though nearly made me cry. It was the strangest mixture of sadness and joy I have ever felt. This is a truly excellent story.

3461869
3461658
I am actually conflicted in this opinion. I agree with these two that there should be no extra to this story and that this story was amazing on its own, and yet, I still want to see more. I would love to see what epic (if it really is an epic) or situation the writer originally thought of when he or she wrote this story. I want to see why the original residents of the city left, despite the story I already have formulating in my head. I would love to see this happen, and yet, another story would probably ruin the wonder and mystery of this one. I still think I will document my thoughts, even if I will never publish them. I think that this is the best approach, if you are inclined to write. I believe that, even if you don't obtain permission to publish your ideas, it's still good practice to write them down, and you will always have another story to read. I personally don't expect to finish any kind of story like what I have mentioned, let alone publish it, but I think I will at least write it for practice. I could never hope to make anything as heart-touching as this story was.

I know this comment was a bit long-winded and rambling, but I just had that much to say and I wasn't in the mood for saying it in internet shorthand. Thank you for bearing with me. :twilightsheepish:

this almost makes up for your lack of a beard

No but really, I loved it. Haunting, amazing, and familiar in the 'and here we are again' way. 10/10 sir.

Woah, this was an amazing story... I wish it had a prequel, or two! :twilightsmile:

Wow. This is beautiful, and the situation with the changelings almost reminds me of the game Iji, where by the end you start empathizing with the Tasen, the aliens that bombarded earth from orbit and killed off almost all of humanity. (turns out it was a senseless act of desperation from a race on the verge of extinction rather than a premeditated act of malice) :ajsleepy:

It seems likely that the changelings are responsible for the fall of Equestria, but just like with the Tasen, at this point killing them or letting them die off would bring no justice, only more tragedy. (particularly with the time gap involved- none of the original aggressors would even be alive at this point)

Hope that there's more to this. :twilightsmile:

3461521 I'm sorry. I just saw that right off the bat and I really wasn't in a reading mood then. :twilightsheepish:

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