A modern Equestria is faced with problems both inside and outside the country, namely an upstart warlord, a plot against the Elements, and a rapidly changing social climate.
The powered armor seems reminscent of thr MJOLNIR armor from Halo. And it is badass!
I love the world-building too. The integration of what we see in the show with a modernized world is seamless.
My complaint is you slightly overdid the ponification of various objects and things. Flockheed-Maretin is one thing but "Moules" is a tad excessive — especially in narration.
Another complaint is that your prose sometimes seems awkward and stiff. Try getting an editor to help it flow more smoothly.
Aside from those two flaws, I really love the high-octane Tom Clancy-esque atmosphere of this MLP military/technothriller.
Thank you for the review! I'm certainly looking into getting an editor, and I will revise the previous chapters (as well as tone down the ponifications) once I am done with the story.
War is hell. ~ William Tecumseh Sherman
Is is good war is terrible, lest we grow too fond of it. ~ Robert E. Lee
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That indeed.
The powered armor seems reminscent of thr MJOLNIR armor from Halo. And it is badass!
I love the world-building too. The integration of what we see in the show with a modernized world is seamless.
My complaint is you slightly overdid the ponification of various objects and things. Flockheed-Maretin is one thing but "Moules" is a tad excessive — especially in narration.
Another complaint is that your prose sometimes seems awkward and stiff. Try getting an editor to help it flow more smoothly.
Aside from those two flaws, I really love the high-octane Tom Clancy-esque atmosphere of this MLP military/technothriller.
3375399
Thank you for the review! I'm certainly looking into getting an editor, and I will revise the previous chapters (as well as tone down the ponifications) once I am done with the story.
I'm glad you like my story.