Two colts move into Ponyville both pegesi. One can use magic, the other has a metal wing both have no families. There are two storylines in this fic being written by my friend and I so the chapter numbers aren't going to match up together.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Good story so far. Can't wait for an update
screw chapter 3 we don't need no stinkin chapter 3
Did you read the description Chapter 3 is being written by my friend and is apart of the Steelwing storyline
i want steelwing's POV
.................
Dear lord where to start. Well the shift from past to present tense was awkward and difficult to follow. The dialogue is flat and feels incredibly forced, which in turn makes your canon characters feel out of character. Your grammar and spelling could also use some work but that is just a matter of proof reading. Oh and personally it kind of pissed me off that you just glossed over the OC's formative years. Just off handidly mentioning how he met each of the mane 6, with no further detail or explanation is the worst kind of copout. All of which makes the pacing feel terribly rushed; however I do however like the concept, its not a new by any stretch of the imagination but I like non-unicorns with magic, which is just enough to keep me interested long enough to post this hopeing to see improvement at some point.
TL;DR fix spelling and grammar errors, add more detail and some depth to the character through better dialogue, and you may just find a good story in this thing.