the evil duo

by michaelhpd

Chapter 1

Some where in ponyville there's live a pony.one that has the most normal life that you can espect from a pony.but to her,her life was grand and fun.and her life had lots of meaning.even though she did the same thing everyday it was fine with her.until an astroid hit ponyville.it could had been stopped but it wasen't so thats why this tale is being told to day.so enjoy=)

5:32 pm tuesday 2 days from crash day.at the local space labortory

''ahh...sir i don't. won't to stress you out but theres seem to be an astroid falling''said the young lab techntion.

''there's astroids that fall every day don't worry,said the old proffcer while waveing his hoove while he look at some rock samples.

''it would burn up in the atmosphere like the others''.''umm sir i don't think this one will burn up''said the young lab technion while falling back on his flank.

''ahh ok let me see this astroid your so afraid of,oh my god that's no atroid it don't look like no other i ever seen before '',said the old proffecer while wiping his brow.

the old proffecer growned ''i wonder what we gona do''said the old proffecer staring at the young technion.

''umm sir shall we call celestia sir''said the techtion to the old slumped over proffecer

.''no...she said if we call her on some more non-sence she have are funding cut,soo...let just let it play out.delete the recording from the data base we gotta look like we never saw it''said the old proffcer shedding papers.

''ok.. sir but let god help the pony that have that drop on them''said the young space technion while shredding papers.''yea let god help them''

.

6:01 am wednseday 1 day from the crash at dirppy house

''ahh let me see mail.check water check,super handy mail pony giude check.the most inportant muffins check.ahh im ready all i got to do is go check in with the other mail pony's then dun'',said derpy while heading out the door.while troting along.

''hmm maybe i should go get some fresh muffins.yes thats be perfect.just one stop'',said derpy.

''umm..mister misses cake i know it's early but do you have any muffins'', said dirppy while bumping to a table.

''yes we do mis derpy fresh out the oven''said mis cake carring a big piping hot tray of muffins.

''ohh good i'll take them all''smiled derpy why hooving over some bits.''thanks well were sold out again''said mis cake to mister cake.'' i lnow make some more''.''thank you hun''.

6:01 am thursday crash day at dirppy house

''hmm let me see mail check.water bottle check .super handy mail pony's giude check.and the piece of resis-tance my muffins.as derpy check her mail bag.

''hmm and they seem to be fresh''.as she take a huge bite out of one of the many muffins in her bag.''well i guess check in with the others then im off''.she started out of the door and began to fly.she thought she would take the long way there.

as she flew she saw a sparkle in the sky.she held her hoove over her eyes as it grew bigger and brighter.then suddenly.she was knock out of the air.both her and the object hit the ground hard,but dirpy wasent hurt.

''what...was...that....''said dirppy as she rubbed her head.

then a mystic glow field the sky.it got brighter and brighter.then slowly it started to dim.''what in celestia was that''said dirppy.she slowly approached the fallen object.when she got close to the object her eyes began to glow.then she passes outs from the trama of the ordeal she just had.

3:41 pm friday the day after the crash in a unknow field

dirppy awake to being slid across the ground.''ahh...what's is happening''as she try to lift her head in all the confusion.

when her eyes came into focuse she saw pinkie pie.dragging her by her hoove.but some thing was wrong.her mane was flat.and she looked depressed.

''um.. pinkie what are you doing'',said dirppy while kicking at.pinkie pie.then pinkie's hair sprung up out of no where

.''ohh..hello..dirppy i was just getting you some medical help''said pinkie pie scratching her head.

''but pinkie this is your house..and is that blood on your hoove!''screamed dirppy

.''no no thats just jam from aaa cake i was eating''as she shought a quick smile.

''well thank you but i think i can mange i actually feel quite fine.infact better than fine.i feel great!''as she leaped into the sky and flew off in a hurry.

as she flew home she notice that she had hundred of ideas in her head raceing around.but she understood each and every one.''you know what i think i might quite the mail pony's i can do way more''

.she flew home and began to build things.huge thing that no other pony has ever seen.''i can use my invetions for good ima call this one a hmm... i know an engine.it can be use for carts,so that no pony will have to pull another chariot again''

as she started the engine.it made a loud roar and through out lots of power to the wheel that it was strapped to.

''now i just need a chariot i know i will go get one''as she wave her hoove in the air.''ahh but tomarrow i will im to tired.rite now i need sleep''as she troted up stairs heading to her bed.ready and happy on her accomplishment.

Saturday

''ahhh... that was some good sleep''as she yawns with full rest.she scratches her flank and looks out the window.

she sees pinkie pie again.dirppy was concern cause pinkie hair was flat and unjoyful as her usaul personality.but this time she had a cart with a tarp on top of it.it looks as if it was bleeding.

''well im just gona stay out of it.it's nun of my bussines''as the young pony shrugs the problem off.

''now time for that chariot"she prepares to leave .but the only thing she took with her was only a single muffin.
as she trots down the street she spot a chariot.

''um hello sir''the old colt turns his head to look at the jumbled eyed pony.

''yess''.''i wanna know can i have your chariot fine sir''

''and why would i just give away my one and the kind chariot.to a dirpy looking pony like you.huh i dont think so,why don't you go get a job and buy a chariot huh ugly tramp''.

''well you see that is my name derpy and i have an experiment i need to try out''.

''you still hear you don't get it. i will not give you my chariot just N O no''.as he waves his hooves in the air.

derpy was disgruntled.she diden't know what to do.so she look around and grabed a big rock.she flew over the pony and aimed the rock over the pony and let go.the rock fell.she diden't realize what she has done but as soon as she wanted to stop she heared a sqawshing no.she looks down only to find the pony brains of the colt to splattered every where.

she was horrafied of what she has done.she flew down and pushed the pony to the back of the chariot,and took it home.''well it was some fight getting it but i have it now.as she prep the chariot for the engine it dawned on her that she has killed a pony today.and she dident even take a second thought about it.but it had to be done she kept thinking to her self.''well he was asking for it.ahh what happen to me i had a great job and a perfect life.what am i gona do.was..it that strange stone that made me like this.why do i see all these things in my head.im a murder now''as she stare at the body.when she fianally got the engine and the cart ready she started it up.and chose to go show every pony.she drove the chariot to the middle of pony ville.''every pony come and see''as she yelled out loud.slowly doors started to open and a crowed began to for.''every pony look what i made.it's a chariot that don't have to be pulled,''said derpy waving her hooves in the air.the crowed shunned derpy .''don't you think your weird enough now you gone and do soming like this''said a random pony in the crowed.derpy heart fell.then the crowed started to to boo her for her invetion.then from the back of the crowed it started to open up.it was princess celestia ''hello derpy''said celestia staring down the now crying pony.''don't worry they arn't ready for you mind yet just give them a while and cheer up''said celestia in a careing voise.derpy thought that every pony was just an idot.and she also thought that celestia was and idot to.so derpy started to ride home to take a nap and see what she can do to pony ville.''yawn..i fix them i fix them all even if i have to start my own war'',said derpy with a smile.

sunday
derpy awoke to a nock at the door.''yeah who is it'',said derpy as she walk to the door.when she open the door she saw a chariot pulling off.as it pulled off they threw roten fruit at derpy.''i show you all i wanted to do was help,make life easer for all of you.but this is how you treat me'',said derpy in a fit of rage.derpy ran to her basement and got the dead body.''well i guess i just have tto make my own army then.but i will need more dead body's.oh and i need to reanimate them to''.derpy got a crased grin or her face and began to build.she built electrod that went up to the roof.but while she was installing them.she look down and seen pinkie with that same depressed look.and she also had that cart.''but isint that a little pony with her.wait i seen her before i think her name is scootabuse.no her name have somthing to do with chickens,well never mind that back to my plans'',said derpy as she crawled up he house.''there perfect'',as she wiped the swet off her fore head.the new invention was a mettalic gray.with glass bulbs at the top.''now all i need is some magic'',said derpy as she heads down stairs.she started to build again. she built a restraint table and a helmit.she straped wires to a giant glass dome.''and this i will use to collect the magic'',said derpy as she yawn.she left her basement to walk through out the night.looking for stragalers.she seen a old unicorn walking around.she was over whelm with joy.she pick up a stick and began her hunt.''i almost gotch yah just walk around this corner'',said derpy lurking in the shadows.but suddenly when she was about to pounce.pinkie pie and the orange pony jumped on the old unicorn.''well when your number comes up it's up'',said pinkie as she beat the unicorn in it's head.derpy was horrafide but glad at same time.''hey she was mine i've bean stalking her''.said derpy while stomping her hoove.pinkie pie look back in surprise what did you say.hold on you was gona kill her too''.''well yes i need her magic'',said derpy trying to act inocent.''well hmm...follow me back to my ,scootaloo put our new bloody friend into the cart'',said pinkie while smiling.the three ponys walked back to suger cube.when the finally got there scootaloo open the basement door and took the cart down there.''well cup cakes ,tea,cakes or apple jack danniels'',said pinkie pie while turning on some lights.''umm...do you have muffins'',said derpy as if this was a ruglar thing to her.''yess i do''.pinkie pie walked into the pantry and grabed a bunch of muffins and cup cakes.''soo what do you mean you need that pony's magic''.''well you see. all the ponys in ponyville made a fool of me.even princess celestia.i was just trying to make there lifes easer.but the shunned me'',said derpy while wilting her wings and hunching over.''ahh i see so you want pay back for there idiotscy'',said pinkie while taking a big bite out of a cupcake.''so you know what i mean.this morning they threw roten friut at me'',said derpy while slamming down her muffin.''you know what i think this a start of a beutiful relationship'',said pinkie while she started to fluf up her hair.the two pony's talk through the night.and began to be bestfriends.

monday
''so let me get this rite.you need unicorns for their magic,to make a zombie army under your control'',said pinkie that is now wearing a robe.''well yes that's explains it.'',said derpy .''do you think theres a place in this army for an i don't know a derrange pycotic pony and her filly'', said pinkie while twidling her mane.''you know what there is just a place for you.i do need a second in command.and i do need someone to torcher and or rape my enemy.and you do need an assisistant.i just got one question do you have dead unicorn bodys?''said derpy while scratching her chin.''yes i got bodys,so do this mean im in''.''your in''said derpy.the two ponys then sqealled in joy.''well im going home to prepare the magic draining ummm thingy.you bring all of you dead unicorn bodys to my house later to night'',said derpy.''well i have to tell you some thing i knida either ate and or made most of them in to cloths''said pinkie.''oh well that's ok we can always get more.but what should we call our army hmm?''said derpy.''how about the muffincake army'',both pinkie and derpy said at the same time while staring at each other.''um ms pinkie i go to go to school now but i choped up the pony and filly spines and grinde up the cartolage oh and i also bured the ferminted intestine''said scootaloo while putting on a helmit.''ohl shes scootalooh i had ment to ask who's the young filly?''said derpy with max intrest.''well it's a long story but you know she respects me and i respects her''said pinkie while blushing.''well im going to head out.i got to start to prepare the magic drain thingy''said derpy while finishing her muffin.''well we can go hunting to night''said pinkie.''yeah for sho we can go hunting well bye pinkie'',said derpy.''bye'',said pinkie.derpy troted home.but as she was going home she heared some pony call her name.''derpy ohh derpy wait up!'',said a voice from a far.''huh huh is that''said derpy stareing into the distance.''derpy it's rahsaan what up''said rahsaan.then a brown unicorn with a black mane walked.he was wear a pair of trendy square yellow glasses.''hey i had wana talk to you.i was there when you unvieled your invetion and i thought it was great'',said rahsaan while fixing his glasses.''ohh... i thought no one liked my invetion'',said derp stareing at rahsaan.''yea it was an fantastic idea i would had love to buy one'',said rahsaan.''well thanks for telling me that i needed to hear that''said derpy with a grin.''you know rahsaan you have may just have save your own life'',said derpy as she flew away.''wait what'',said rahsaan in confusion.derpy flew home to prepare for the arival of her now good friend.derpy heard a nock at the door.she got over joyed.''yes who is it '',said derpy while floating over to the door.''it's me pinkie scootaloo and out bloody friend here''.''well what are you waiting for come on in.said derpy while opening the door.''kill me please im in so mutch pain'',said the bloody unicorn.''don't worry we will in the minute'',said pinkie.Three pony's went down into derpy's basement.they strapped the unicorn into the newly named harvaster.name by derpy for what it does.''please get it over wit''said the unicorn in horriable pain.''well okie dokie silly billy hit the switch derpy'',said pinkie.then derpy fliped the switch and the lights started to flicker.the unicorn body started to decompose and started to look like it was getting dryer and dryer.until the unicorn was nothing but dust.the glass dome filled with the mistyic glow of magic.''you see pinkie this is magic in it's purest form this magic is stronger than celestia and luna combined.and we got all that from one pony.but we gona need more if we gona re-animate the dead'',said derpy while ringing her hooves.''wow you really did it you took the magic right out of that pony...cool can you i don't know make us gods?'', asked pinkie.''in due time we gona need celestia for that and luna we will need the power of the alicorns for that.''answered derpy.the three pony's work into the night to get the magic perfect.so that the dead body's can be filled with it.

Comments

[LunaUsesCaps]

ponyfictionarchive.net/images/star.gif ponyfictionarchive.net/images/star.gif ponyfictionarchive.net/images/star.gif ponyfictionarchive.net/images/star.gif ponyfictionarchive.net/images/star.gif ponyfictionarchive.net/images/star.gif 6-Star fic, this is a work of absolute art.

You, author, have inspired me beyond belief. This is the best fic I have ever read, your ability to create drama and mystery around your work is unbelievable. The plot is top notch, the romance is amazing, your characterization really makes me feel the character, and everything you write is 120% outstanding. Please, you should write professionally and join groups to teach others on FIMFiction how to write with such perfection.

[LunaUsesCaps]

257834

No, my friend. I am truly amazed by this, and I'm creating 20 accounts as we speak just to track, favourite, and like this.

[emberghost]

[emberghost]

But, if they have that much power, could't they magic-nuke the place instead?

[Queen of Everything]

Dafuq

[Barbecue Sauce]

Yikes. Your writing needs work. A LOT of work.

[Steampunk Starlight]

After reading the first comment I went to read and..... I don't know what is this anymore
fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?2,file=21325,filename=walloftext.jpg

Needs fixing,bro.

[Prane]

Ouch, wall of text and... well, bad formatting.
Still, don't give up - improve it and repost.

[michaelhpd]

258771 well thanx this is my first story the other people was just mean but thanx

[michaelhpd]

and plus it is a draft gosh can i fix it before i get thumbd down

[michaelhpd]

and another thing i wont only constructive comments only not sarcasm like really its like they try to find some thing with faults so the can use the little picture now the guy with the wall o text ok thats an example but every one elese that just shows that they got no life like really who will post a picture that some already posted instead of hating on my story go look at you own cause every one have faults it human. and for people that don't know im using pinkamita dian pie i probly spell that wrong but yea so again only a draft i wrote in like 30 minutes now if i can write this in 30 minutes what can you do

[StSebastian]

As a minor grammar Nazi, I am fighting the urge to take a digital flamethrower to burn this from the submitted fics... But almost... ALMOST...

Yeah, thanks for the good laugh! Lol

[Rahzzy]

257832 your not bucking around now are you? cuz i remember that you face hoof my story

[Twystron500]

That was beautiful. I can't begin to explain the pure joy that this read has inflicted on my brain. I recall chuckling a little when Derpy dropped a large rock from the sky, crushing another pony to death. Pure genius. Hurry up and get this stuff published hard cover style, so i can read it while sitting on a two thousand dollar couch, while enjoying the warm glow of a fire. Until then, i need to contact the president ASAP. He needs to be aware of this particular work. Once he gathers inspiration from it, the country can begin to improve as he guides us all to brighter future. Thank you.

[michaelhpd]

please just tell me should i take it down or no

[Rahzzy]

267650wow....all of you.....just....

280668 okay look...don't let them get to you... all other got there finfic hate at. but they went on!okay... what you didn't do was leave a description title on what the story might be about..ppl like 257832 this luna caps get off on stuff like that...if you don't have a description title. ppl gonna think too highly of it and that when they get butt hurt about it like LunaUsesCaps ....description title are important, remember that...and don't give in on the hate.

[michaelhpd]

ok thanks

[Rahzzy]

281732 btw there a reply thing on the far right on all comments clock on that. and that person well get a notification like i'm giving you

[Rahzzy]

267650>>281732 okay, mic! don't even listen to Twystron500 he have a lot of dislikes in hes storys! HE JELLY!

[RadaVonVon]

[LunaUsesCaps]

282717

I don't know what I find more sardonically entertaining, this fic or your comments.

[Rahzzy]

307126 who cares i'm awesome!

[Rahzzy]

307126 okay luna what did i do? i was talking Twystron500 was being a A-hole and your ripping on me?! Twystron500 suck! and you know it luna..