In a time where Equestria is an infant, and the three pony tribes are slowly getting over their differences, Celestia, Luna, and Dissonance are the three most prized students of Star Swirl the Bearded. There has always been a spark between Dissonance and Celestia, something that Celestia cannot explain and something that she is afraid to explore. But when she finally finds the courage to explore and let her emotions surface, things turn towards the unexpected and she has to choose between what she thinks is right and the alicorn-turned-monster that she has fallen in love with.
Chapters (2)
It's great to see you back in the writing path again. This seems like the start of an interesting tale. So please do keep up the good work upon such a great storyline idea like this one.
Oh man this is gonna end badly.
I'm going to read the next chapter as well... but well, the pacing is off, too fast. Not enough time to really see the current relationship between... well, anyone really. I mean sure, we are told about them, but we aren't shown it all that well,
Yeah... pacing if much too quick. I can't get a good measure of these character's at all.
3191500
Then be quiet and move on :)
3195458
Oh? What's this? Someone unable to take constructive criticism?
3195469
Nope, I can take it, but it's not necessary on something that is meant to be fun and not to be taken seriously. If I were to fire this off to an editor, sure, absolutely. But it's a fanfic about ponies. And quite frankly, I didn't ask for your criticism anyways, or any criticism or feedback on this story.
3195486
... So what the fuck is the point in writing this?
3195515
To get the idea and story out.
3195522
That still seems like a reason to accept feedback. Yeah, your not taking it seriously, but feedback is feedback. Improving this story improves your writing skills.
3195528
But it's not really feedback if it isn't asked for or submitted for feedback. Unless I ask you, "How does my hair look?" I don't need you coming in and saying it looks bad.
3196458
Well tough shit. You submit a story on this site, people are going comment on it. Including leaving feedback. Don't want feedback, don't post it.