Twilight is being tormented by sorrow and guilt, she never intended to petrify her beloved teacher, but there was no other choice left, or was there?
At the same time Discord broke free from his stone prison, because the power of the elements have weakened, but why? And how are they going to stop Discord from taking revenge against Celestia?
This story plays in the same world as "Rainbow's Burden"
You do not have to read the story to understand the plot, but it can't hurt to know what happened in more detail, can it? ;)
Chapters (2)
Well it's an interesting start, but you should check on your punctuation at the end of a paragraph.
Looking forward to more!
Since that fateful day which took place around a year ago, where she had to betray and petrify her beloved teacher
Shouldn't petrify be petrified?
And nice chapter I didn't really expect a sequel to a rainbows burden xD
101440 I think it works both ways because its what she had to do at that time... like "doing that and that"
101440 I think it works both ways because its what she had to do at that time... like "doing that and that" but I changed it anyway cuz im not sure xD
101523
for once a double e-mail is correct xD (i sometimes get 2 e-mails for 1 thing >.<)
The sentence didn't really seem to make sense when i read it xD. Although i barely noticed it :P
This is a GREAT way to continue a rainbows burden. I shall wait till the next chapter comes out. 5/5
101599 Thank ya <3
101126 Thanks. But I dont quite understand what you mean? Could you give an example for a punctuation mistake there? xD
101863
example: paragraph 5 and 6
A point is supposed to be at the end of a sentence or paragraph.
101878 Ahh thanks, these annoying little dots are hard to spot
This was a pretty entertaining read, and I'm certainly going to keep my eye on this one. I LOVE adventure stories. and the fact that my favorite pairing (Flutterdash) is involved makes it even more satisfying. The detail is pretty nice, and I can't help but want to read more.
But really, as said before, you really need to put some more effort into your punctuation and grammar. It's rather irritating when I start to get engaged in the writing, only to be pulled back into reality by an error that inturrupts the flow.
But I digress... I'll be following this. Keep it going. :3
102580 Thank you for the kind words. I have actually read through this around 5 times and did not find any mistakes, I'm having a really hard time spotting them. Curse these language barriers, but I shall try harder next time. :D
I don't care if spelling and grammar are messed up, all I care about is a good story, and you sir, (or madem) have made a great one.
105053 Uhm.. thanks? xD
I dont care if the spelling is bad I LOVE this story thats all that matters I mean I can still read the story so the spelling is not imprtant!!!
124820 Uhm, actually it is pretty important, this is just the non edited prereader version. Someone is currently helping me out by reviewing my fic and pointing out the major flaws , so in around a week or something I will post the revised, edited version together with a new chapter.
But I am glad you like it!
curse my dirty mind.....
125984 huh, what?
“I released her from your punishment and hid her somewhere where she is save, for now at least.” I think you mean safe. 5/5 stars
. I love this story! (your other one rocks too)
134821 thank ya, ill fix it asap
Didn't expect a sequel. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Awsome chapter, when does the next chapter come out?
140124 Can't really tell. I am currently busy with alot of other stuff but I will try my best to release it asap
I think you need to reread this, it seems very forced at times, I suggest you shorten words and try to imagin the characters speaking the very words you've written.
Man, I need to get some sleep, I'm nearly dead by this point...
BSM3
15087 Okie, thanks for the advice I will do it when I have time, right now I need to hit the hay aswell ;D
Great Job can't wait for the next chapter man.
you messed up their genders a few times.....
Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash Twilight wants you to go to the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters as fast as possible.
Fluttershy panicked a little inside, but immediately forced herself to calm down. It’s nothing too serious, just calm down Shy.
Flying back inside, she moved next to Dash, shaking him slightly in order to wake him up.
and
Twilight couldn’t believe he ears; he was going to take her to Celestia just like that? It was probably a trap, but she had to take the risk, she had to see her teacher.
187901 thx for pointing it out, fixxed it
I certainly hope this story has a happy ending... I mean... what about the elements? why didn't luna mention that the elements of harmony could undo the poison, and if they do that before reversing the regen spell, then she'd be fine... right?
And before you ask I haven't read this yet. I'll get to it tomorrow I need to sleep.