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Henry's Fun times in Ponyville

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Comments ( 9 )

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Ellipsis

Ellipsis #1 · Aug 5th, 2013 · · ·

Your best bet is to get a proofreader. You've got pluralization errors and other small mistakes all over the place. They may be small like I said, but there's enough of them that they start to add up.

CookItMediumRarity

CookItMediumRarity #2 · Aug 5th, 2013 · · ·

2992854 Thanks for the feedback!

firestripe

firestripe #3 · Aug 5th, 2013 · · ·

Dude your layout is all wrong...But nice first attempt

Ellipsis

Ellipsis #4 · Aug 5th, 2013 · · ·

2992920
It's got potential at the very least.

CookItMediumRarity

CookItMediumRarity #5 · Aug 5th, 2013 · · ·

2992966 In what way could I improve it? I'm really eager to get better at this

firestripe

firestripe #6 · Aug 5th, 2013 · · ·

2993356

Read the wrtting guide on this site. It helped me ALOT! And just keep writting. The first story I wrote was total shit, and even tho my storys are still total shit, at least the layout and punctuation is correct :P

CookItMediumRarity

CookItMediumRarity #7 · Aug 5th, 2013 · · ·

2993374 Haha thanks for the advice man. I guess we all start off shitty somewhere

firestripe

firestripe #8 · Aug 5th, 2013 · · ·

2993384
You know what, Ill be your first follower just for the heck of it. I dont really have alot of time for this site, but if you need a pre-reader for future work, I may be able to help. Best of luck