Ponies can talk?
"Ow. Ow. OW! AHHHHHH! That hurts!" I said to myself. I opened my eyes and tried to find the source of the pain. My eyes were not getting used to the sudden change of light. I blinked my eyes a couple times before I looked down and saw that my arm was in a cast. "Dammit." I said. "That shit hurts bad." My arm was obviously broken. It looked like a misshapen L. Wow, I thought to myself, I don't even remember getting in an accident. I suddenly sensed that I was being watched. I slowly looked and nearly shit myself at what I saw.
A horse was looking right at me. It was orange with blonde hair and a blonde tail. It even had a cowboy hat on it's head. Next to it was a another horse, (actually they sort of look more like ponies than horses, but pretty much same thing, right?) This pony, however, was purple and had a horn sticking out of her head. What?! Is she supposed to be a unicorn or something?! This is getting weirder by the second. Not to mention an extremely pink pony was giving me a horribly big smile on the other side of the orange mare. I'm not kidding. This pony's smile was impossibly huge. If she wasn't so cute, you would think she could unhinge her jaw and eat you whole.
The orange one was looking at me funny, as if there was something wrong with my face. Also, the purple one was trying to give me a reassuring smile, but only made me ponder how ponies can even fucking smile.
All of a sudden, the impossible happened: the orange one talked to me.
"Uh, ya'll alright?" She said to me. She had a southern accent.
"I'm sorry, did you just talk?" I asked her.
She gave me a confused look. "Why wouldn't ah be talking?"
"Sorry," I said. "but where I'm from, ponies don't talk much. Or at all, actually."
She gave me a smirk and said, "Well, you better get used to it. Everyone here is a pony and we all talk!"
"Fair enough," I said. "So want to tell me where I am?"
"First, could we at least get your name?" said the purple one to her left.
"Sure, my name is Henry," I told them all.
"Okay Henry, ask away!"
"Well, I only have 3 questions," I announced. "First of all, where am I?"
The purple one replied, "You are in Ponyville, Equestria."
"Really?" I asked with a small laugh. "Ponies living in Ponyville? Sounds pretty redundant to me, haha!"
The orange one rolled her eyes at me and asked, "Okay, what's your second question?"
I then asked, "Well you know my name, so what should I call you guys?"
The orange one replied, "Well, I'm Applejack. The purple one over to my right is Twilight Sparkle and..." she seemed nervous to say the pink pony's name, "this is Pinkie Pie."
"OH MY GOSH! THIS IS SO EXCITING! I'VE NEVER SEEN A PONY LIKE YOU BEFORE! UNLESS YOUR NOT A PONY. MAYBE YOU ARE SOME KIND OF WEIRD FLESHY DRAGON RELATIVE OF SPIKE'S DISTANT FAMILY AND WANT TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT COMING HOME. OOH OOH OOH I KNOW! YOU'RE BIG MACINTOSH FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION AND ARE HERE TO TAKE HIS PLACE! ACTUALLY I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU ARE, BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING A GIANT PARTY TONIGHT AND I BETTER GO GET READY!!!" Pinkie Pie then defied the laws of physics and literally flew out of the hospital room and went to god knows where.
I slowly turned to look at Twilight and Applejack. "I'm a little confused about what just happened."
"That's Pinkie for you," Twilight said as she looked at me. "She can get pretty hyper sometimes."
"Hyper?" I laughed. "Hyper? I've seen kids on crack that aren't as hyper as she was."
Applejack laughed at my comment and asked, "Well, what's your third question Sugarcube?"
I looked at her and bluntly said, "Do you have any food I can eat?"
She reached into her saddlebag she was wearing and pulled out some apples. They had to be the most red, ripe, and downright best apples I had ever seen. Twilight chuckled at me as I scarfed down the apples. Jesus Christ, these apple are good!
"Applejack," I said through a mouthful of apple, "these apples are amazing!"
She just blushed at me and said, "Ah, shucks! Thanks Henry!"
After eating those amazing apples, I got out of my bed and looked around my room. The walls were eggshell white and it was pretty empty in here. With us all in here, there was also a bed and a bookshelf, and a couple of medical tools laying on the table next to my bed. Also I notice the big size difference between me and the ponies. I'm about 6'1 while these ponies are probably barely 4'0. At least if they turn out to be hostile I could just sit on them and make them give in.
"How did I break my arm?" I asked the ladies, trying to figure out whats going on.
"Well, mah sister Applebloom found ya in our apple orchard and started callin' for me. Ah brought my brother with me and we took a look at ya. Your arm was bent horribly and it seemed as though ya fell from the sky or somethin'. So we loaded ya up onto mah brother's back and took you here. That all happened a couple of hours ago."
"Hmm," I thought to myself out loud, "that's pretty weird. I'm also not too happy I have to deal with this broken arm."
"What do you mean?" Twilight asked. "The magic we put on your cast should heal your arm in about a couple of hours."
"Magic? What are you talking about Twili-" I stopped talking on account of a book floating in mid air in front of Twilight's face. She didn't seemed surprised at all. In fact, appeared to be reading the book with a rather unimpressed look on her face.
"Uhh," I stutter out, "why is there a fucking book floating in front of you?"
Twilight gave a scolding look. "Henry, didn't you ever learn to not swear in front of a lady?"
"Yeah, I did" I say angrily. "But that doesn't stop me from wondering why A DAMN BOOK IS LEVITATING NEXT TO YOU!!"
"Sugarcube, calm down" Applejack says to me. "She is just usin' magic to make it float."
My tone turns from anger to being downright ecstatic. "So not only do you all talk, but your able to use magic?!"
"Duh," Twilight says still reading her book.
"Oh yeah sorry," I say while glaring at her, "I should've known."
Applejack, now laughing her ass off, then calms down and asks, "So you don't have magic where your from?"
"Nope," I say. "It only exists in fiction where I'm from."
Twilight just gave me a look of horror. "How do you manage without magic?"
I shrugged and said, "We invent things to help us get by."
"See Twilight?" Applejack said with a shit eating grin on her face. "Ya don't need magic to get by in life."
"Yeah, Twilight!" I shouted making Applejack and I roll on the floor with laughter.
Twilight looked at me curiously and said, "Ya know, for someone who is in a world where nothing is normal to him, you sure are getting along with us easily."
I just sat up and said, "Well I guess I kind of like this place. Besides, I'm always open to new things. Talking ponies? Aww yeah! Unicorns with magic? Count me in!"
Applejack leaned into Twilight and whispered, "Ah like this guy!
Twilight then smiled and said, "Yeah me too!"
I looked at them both and said, "Although I admit: I would be pretty surprised if you guys told me anything new." I laugh. "Next thing you know, you will be telling me that there are pegasi here!"
They look at each other with grins on there faces and start laughing.
My smile drops and I say, "You're kidding, right?"
Wrong.