Ebony Crystal

by The Music Man

8 December 605

This week has been no less than hell! First off, my mom could only come a few hours in the evening to give me food and supplies. Her bitch of an employer wouldn't let her take time off to help me through my unexpected pregnancy (that's what I decided to call it). Then there were a number of painful contractions where I wished the damn thing would just pop out already!

And that's not even the half of it! Every day for this past week I'd wake up in a sticky green puddle of goo. It was only near the end of the week that I discovered where the goo was coming from.

Let's just say growing up isn't kind to the stuff between the flanks.

Heck, by the time I popped the damn thing out, the entire cave was covered in it. Even the ceiling!

And before I even describe what was in me, which will be the subject of many nightmares, I have to tell you about the forest. Sweet Celestia it's brutal. I had to fight off all these stupid animals that were trying to steal my food, attack a dumb bear going for my berries, and there was this raccoon that was toying with me. It would throw rocks to distract me and then dive for my blueberries. The bitch is probably still in the trees somewhere, waiting for me to take my eyes off my blueberries.

No one touches my blueberries.

Now the moment of birth was terrible. It felt worse than dying, because when you die, at least you stop feeling pain. With this I had to endure pain for over eight hours. Eight hours! And it wasn't a constant pain either. It was huge than small, huge then small, huge then... Lets just say I'd of rather been dipped in a pool of piranha then EVER do that again.

Then the thing finally slides through and mounts itself on the goo. And all it is is this oversized green egg thing with three big black balls in it. Which leaves me thinking, "I WENT THROUGH A LITERAL WEEK OF HELL FOR THIS?!"

When my mom came that evening, she saw the final product: A cave covered in crystallized goo with a same-colored egg to top it all off. She said it would be best if we left it here. It's funny, after all the trouble it gave me, I would normally agree, but I can't help but feel attached to it. After all, it did live in my gut for a while. I guess I'll have to visit it in my spare time.

And now that I reflect back on the whole week, I can't help but feeling that I was starving for the better part. I mean, I had enough food and all, but it never seemed to fill me up. I don't know why.