Lyra Heartstrings, lyrist and involuntary part-timer at her marefriend's candy shop, likes to escape her work into a nearby small forest which was once part of the Everfree Forest. There, oblivious to her surroundings, she plays her lyre ... and the forest listens. A mystical audience.
Written for and promted by Lisali
Finally with cover art - drawn by a good, good friend
Feel free to comment and criticise
The first chapter is not actually part of the story but rather a type of personal signature
First story on ponies and first I have published for other readers than my friends and only third story written in English
Chapters (2)
I love this story! it's so sweet and so mystical!
Pretty nice story - I've been counting on some closure, like Lyra talking to this seemingly ancient creature (sadly Lyra hardly even speaks in here), but you decided to leave us wondering. Which is rather good, as it contributes towards the general mood of the story. However, you've used the same exact description of the creature (I mean the part which starts with a giant ethereal being as tall as a tree up to small blossoms sprouted) twice in the story: around the middle and at the end. Was that intentional?
Also, congratulations on publishing your first story! Keep it up!
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Firstly, let me say thank you for your opinion, commenting and encouragement
and obviously for liking and faving the story
It was, yes.
As for dialogue: ... I plan to use more the next time I manage to write something
it often doesn't "flow" as much as I would like it but, originally, I intended to have even less dialogue in this story
As for closure:
Finally! A story that tells us about lyres special talent. I knew it couldn't just be playing a lyre.
This is a really sweet story, I love how the supernatural elements provide an almost adorable feeling rather than a source of tension or danger, while still giving the story some mystery. I especially like how you managed to create such a unique and special feeling in such a short story. I would love to see this expanded in some way, anyhooves, thanks for writing this, it was wonderful to read. Good luck with your future stories, I look forward to reading them as well.
P.S. I believe moustaches are in order:
Fantastic story, I loved how well you portrayed each character with so little dialog. Looking foward to your next story (should you choose to write one). Thanks for a great read, TENOUTTATEN
For the first story - by a foreigner even - this was quite well done. I'd have one or two complaints about subtlety and punctuation, but really that's what improvement is for, and the story is a good read nontheless.
So... yes, good work and I hope you keep it up.
P.S.: I'm German, too, by the way, so feel free to write back. I always like meeting other German bronies, since I haven't been able to find a single one where I live.