Of Dreams Old and New
Trixie’s waking was slow. Her body ached, and her leg wouldn’t move. Yet as she shifted in the darkness, she felt a curious and familiar thing: silk. It took a while for her to be awake enough to process this information. After some time and a little effort, she was finally able to open her eyes.
Dark silk sheets. A massive bed. A large room themed on the moon and stars.
Something was in the bed with her. She turned her head and gaped: a luscious sapphire coat, a sparkling cobalt mane. A head shifted, and she found herself gazing into heart-stopping cyan eyes.
Tears were streaming down Trixie’s cheeks before she could even register the emotions. Lips trembling, she reached a shaking hoof to touch Luna’s soft face.
“P-please… tell me this isn’t a dream. Tell me you’re really here.”
A wing folded over Trixie, and Luna wrapped her hooves about her with the most beautiful of smiles. “This isn’t a dream, and I’m really here.”
Trixie clutched her precious princess and buried her head in that blue chest. “You’re here. You’re really here! Oh, thank you!”
Luna nuzzled Trixie’s mane. “No, thank you. You are truly the most beautiful, wonderful mare in Equestria. You did it, Trixie. You actually did it.”
“I had to.” Trixie clutched at her precious princess as joy filled her soul. “I just had to.”
“Shhhh.” Luna kissed her lover on the forehead. “You’ve been through so much. Rest. Sleep. I promise I will be right here. No matter what happens, I will never leave you again. I swear it in the name of the Moon.”
Trixie snuggled tight against Luna, filled to bursting with a happiness she’d never known before.
When she next awoke, Trixie found herself surrounded by friends. Tinsel and balloons filled the room as they all cheered her waking. As promised, Luna was still at her side.
Trixie stared at them, and the happiness she felt at the sight was much more familiar than it once was. “You’re all here?” She eyed a balloon hovering just over Luna’s sleepy face. “Why all the party fare?”
Applejack rolled her eyes with a grin. “That would be Pinkie’s doin’, of course.”
“What?” Pinkie bounced in place. “Everypony’s celebrating! I thought we could have a quiet party, at least until you woke up. Then it could become a real pa—!”
Twilight pressed a hoof to Pinkie’s muzzle. “I think Trixie would rather have some peace and quiet. We can have a real party when she’s back on her hooves.”
“We all just wanted to make sure you were okay, dear.” Rarity set a hoof over her heart and breathed a relieved sigh. “It gave us a real fright when we saw you go flying out the window.”
“And when I found you by the pond, you just looked awful,” Fluttershy explained. “You really had us worried.”
“Nah, I knew she’d be fine.” Rainbow threw a smug grin to Trixie from over her bed. “You’re tough as nails! A little fall’s not gonna put you down.”
“It almost did.” Trixie blushed and rubbed the back of her head with a weak smile. “I really thought I was gonna die a few times.”
Twilight’s smile defied her haughty air and lecturing tone. “Well that’s what happens when you go off to fight a sun goddess on your own.”
“What happened?” Trixie’s eyes roamed to each of them. “Where did you go after Fine moved me away from you guys?”
“About what you might expect,” Rarity replied. “We fought the Order.”
“Y-yeah.” Rainbow averted her eyes with a blush. “They were a lot tougher than they looked.”
Applejack chuckled and cast a wry look up at Rainbow. “Some of us did better than others.”
Rainbow crossed her hooves and looked away with a huff. “He just caught me off guard, that’s all. I was not beaten by a foal!” Their laughter only made the red in her cheeks deepen.
“But then they just stopped fighting.” Fluttershy tilted her head with an uncertain frown. “It’s so confusing – they acted like they didn’t want to fight anymore.”
Applejack nodded. “It was real odd. Next thing we know, they’re leading us to the statue in the Gardens. Except that Octavia pony – she went off on her own.”
“Wait...” Trixie shot Pinkie a questioning look. “The statue was in the Royal Gardens? Seriously?”
Pinkie giggled. “See? Told ya.”
“We freed the other Celestia,” Twilight explained, “and she immediately flew off to the throne room. I guess you know the rest.”
“Not everything.” Trixie turned to Luna. “What happened to Celestia? Did I get the Element of Magic away in time?”
“You most certainly did.” Luna nuzzled Trixie’s cheek with a proud smile, the motion filling Trixie with a warm feeling. “Celestia is recovering, but she’s whole. The dark essence that ruled Equestria this past millennium is gone. You’re a hero, Trixie. My hero, might I add.”
Trixie blushed at the public display of affection. “W-well, I was pretty useless in the fight. They’re the ones who defeated Celestia.”
Rarity shook her head with a grin. “You’re too modest, darling. You really should stick to the confident Trixie, she’s much more becoming.”
“Ah guess.” Applejack nudged Rarity playfully. “So long as she doesn’t revert all the way back ta how she used ta be.”
Rainbow dropped to the floor and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I don’t think any of us were too fond of that Trixie. This one’s much better.”
Twilight shushed them with a raised eyebrow before turning her attention back to Trixie. “The point is, you kept Celestia busy while we went to the statue. You also got rid of the Element, letting us save her instead of killing her – an issue we knew nothing about until after the fact.”
Pinkie was bouncing again. “Not to mention nearly getting yourself killed while dueling a super amazing powerful sun goddess who got so freakishly mad she threw you out a window and nearly made you go kersplat!” She hit the floor on her belly for emphasis.
“Err, yeah.” Twilight giggled at the display. “That too.”
Trixie couldn’t resist a little laugh. “What about the Order of Shadows? What happened to them?”
Her friends all shared uncertain looks. Rainbow rubbed the back of her head and shrugged. “Well…”
It was Fluttershy who finally spoke up. “They’re gone.”
Rarity nodded, head low. “We haven’t seen mane or hoof of any of them since the fight.”
Luna sat up with a long yawn, catching everypony’s attention. “Do not let it bother you. It is in the Order’s nature to… how should I put it? Not exist? They are part of the Archons, after all.”
“But they helped us save Equestria.” Twilight frowned and set a contemplative hoof to her chin. “Though I have no idea why.”
The others nodded, Rarity adding, “Indeed, they should be recognized for what they did.”
Trixie thought on this for a few seconds. She tried to remember everything that she’d learned from Fine Crime in their last encounter – the thought of which left her with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. “I don’t think they’re doing it for recognition. Knowing what I now know, and with my recent experience with Fine Crime… I think in their eyes it’s a matter of responsibility.”
“Speakin' of Fine Crime,” Applejack said, “what happened between you two? One minute yer chargin’, then some smoke comes up an’ yer both gone.”
Trixie’s ears perked as she sat up to gape. “Y-you mean you don’t know?” They all offered blank stares. She looked to Luna, who shook her head. A deep pang hit Trixie in the chest; of all the things she’d done, that was perhaps the most painful.
“I… He…”
“Ah, who cares?” Rainbow flew high with a grin, catching their attention. “Nopony liked that guy, anyway. He’s probably celebrating with his Archon buddies, which is exactly what we should be doing!”
“Yeah!” Pinkie leapt up and tossed some balloons with a gleeful cry. “Let’s par—!” Her lips abruptly closed, covered in a purple aura.
Twilight giggled at the party pony’s pout and turned to the bed. “Trixie?”
Trixie smiled, though it was difficult. “I am happy you all came, really. I appreciate it far more than you know. But I’m not ready to celebrate, not yet. I’ve got some things to think about.” She reached out to touch Pinkie’s shoulder. “Sorry, Pinkie. I promise I’ll be on my hooves in no time. Then you can throw me as big a party as you want.”
Pinkie wiped the aura from her lips, flicking it off her hoof and into Twilight’s startled face. “In that case, it’s a deal! You better be ready, ’cause I’m gonna pull out all the stops for this one!”
Twilight shook her head to get rid of the aura that had been stuck to her muzzle, then grinned at Trixie. “We’ll all be there! C’mon, girls. Trixie probably would like a little time to rest.”
Trixie watched them leave, happiness swelling within her. To think those ponies had been her enemies not long ago. Now she couldn’t imagine where she’d be without them. Probably stuck in Tartarus, come to think of it.
A short time afterwards, a new visitor arrived: Nye. He went straight to Trixie’s side and embraced her. “You are astounding. I can’t thank you enough, Trix.”
Trixie chuckled. “You should thank the others, too. Equestria wouldn’t have been saved at all without them.”
Nye raised his head haughtily as he walked around to Luna’s side of the bed. “Buck Equestria! My princess is back, and that’s all I care about.” He nuzzled Luna, who returned the motion with a grin.
“But Equestria isn’t saved yet.” He stepped back, a frown forming on his lips. “The slum ponies are out of control, rioting and fighting amongst themselves. The Royal Guard’s got their hooves full keeping the situation contained, and other slums across Equestria are taking note. The nobles are terrified that there may be a full-scale, national revolt.”
Trixie’s ears drooped and she sank a little under her sheets. “Is it really that bad?”
Luna turned to touch horns with her. “Do not let this news trouble you, Trixie.”
“How can I not be troubled?” She sat up and pushed the princess away to look into her beautiful eyes. “I’m responsible for this. Ponies are suffering because of what we did to save you.”
Luna took on a regal air and shook her head. “Equestria is rife with corruption and discord. For this world to heal, great social changes will have to be made. These rebellions may be the seeds of a new Equestria, one built towards harmony and prosperity for all. Change must come, but it won’t be painless. Take it from one who measures time in centuries, Trixie: these are the inevitable signs of progress.”
Trixie didn’t feel comforted by those words, but she wanted to believe in them anyway. She scooted closer to Luna and tried to ignore the pain in her heart. “I guess…”
Nye coughed as he backed away with a red face. “W-well, I just wanted to thank you now that you’re awake, so I’ll just leave you two alone again! Thanks again, Trixie, and don’t let things get you down. Remember, you’re a hero!”
The door closed swiftly. Trixie raised her head to stare at it with a raised eyebrow. “What does he think we’re doing?”
Luna giggled and nibbled on Trixie’s ear, making the unicorn’s eyes widen and her cheeks burn. “We’ll get there. Just you wait, oh Savior of Princesses! The moment I don’t have to worry about that broken leg of yours…”
Trixie found herself sinking under the covers, mind numb and cheeks on fire. Luna could only laugh.
When Trixie next awoke, she found herself alone in the darkness. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, wondering where her princess had gone off to. Yet for once she wasn’t worried; her adventure was over. She knew Luna would be back in time. She eyed her leg, which was still set in a cast. She wanted to get up and walk around, but wasn't sure she should try.
She was suddenly aware of a presence. She glanced around, her heart skipping a beat; every time she felt that sensation, it always meant one thing. “F-Fine…?” She detected movement in the corner of her eye. She turned swiftly, hope rising in her.
The pony stepped into the light, regal and steady. At the sight of the familiar mare, Trixie wilted and scooted back. “Octavia…”
The Order pony nodded, her manner the definition of stern. “Hello, Trixie.”
A few mind-numbing seconds passed between them, Trixie fumbling in her mind for something to say. At last she leaned forward and blurted out, “I am so sorry! I didn’t want to, I-I wasn’t trying to—”
The Earth pony raised a silencing hoof, and Trixie clamped her jaw closed. She bowed her head and fought back tears, waiting for Octavia to say something. Anything.
Yet when Octavia spoke, there was no anger. “I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you.”
Trixie raised her head to gape. “Th-thank me?”
To her shock, the Archon smiled. “Yes, thank you. Without you none of this would have been possible.”
Trixie moved closer to the edge of the bed. “B-but… But I k-killed Fine! You’re his wife, you should be… I mean…”
Octavia shook her head, that pretty smile unchanged. “I knew his plan from the beginning. I accepted it long ago. To save Equestria, you had to end him. Celestia’s binding spell made that the only outcome. He was prepared to die, Trixie.”
Trixie gazed at the new widow, trying to process this reaction. She bowed her head once more, sorrow filling her. “I know he was, but that doesn’t change the fact. I thought you’d be… I don’t know. Furious. Or bitter. Maybe just sad. How can you be happy?”
“Don’t get me wrong.” Octavia lifted a hoof to stare as if it belonged to somepony else. “It hurts. It hurts a lot. You cannot comprehend how much he meant to me. The rest of the Order, too. He was like… like their patriarch.”
She set her hoof down and beamed at Trixie, eyes moist. “But this was his dream, Trixie. He devoted the past decade to this, searching as hard as he could for a way to save the princesses. If only you had known how excited he really was, how much hope he had in you. I wanted you to know that he wouldn’t want you to linger on what happened. I am proud of him for finally achieving his dream, and I am grateful to you for making it a reality.”
She bowed low, and Trixie’s jaw dropped. “From this day onward, should you ever need a favor you need only ask. If it is within my power, I will assist in whatever way I can. This is what I can offer for helping my husband.”
Trixie swallowed the lump in her throat and leaned back. Her ears lowered once more, and she felt the all-too-familiar burn of tears. “You… y-you don’t have to do that.”
Octavia raised her head and grinned, then turned to retrieve something from the darkness behind her. She flung her hoof out to toss Trixie’s hat. It landed softly next to her on the bed. “I think that belongs to you.”
Trixie picked it up, examining its pleasant design and the ever-glowing rim. She set it on her head with a sniff and tried to smile. “Th-thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” Octavia’s face grew serious. “One more thing, Trixie. Not all the ponies in the Order are as pleased with the outcome as I am. Some are… upset. Especially Gulfstream: Fine was like a father to him. I don’t think they’ll do anything, but you should take care not to give them a reason to.”
Trixie blinked, sobering quickly from her sadness. “But can’t you control them? You were Fine’s wife, so doesn’t that make you the head of the Order now?”
Octavia shook her head. “I am retiring from the Order. And the Archons. I promised Fine as much. Even if that weren’t the case, he named Fleur his heir a long time ago. She cared for him as much as I did, so I know she will honor his wishes, but she does not think highly of you. She’s not as forgiving as I am.”
Trixie sighed and bowed her head. “I understand. Thanks for the warning.”
“You’re welcome.”
Octavia turned away, but looked back to offer one last smile. “Do not worry, Trixie. Even if one or two members are upset, you have done the Archons a great service. They are always around, always watching. You’ve earned their respect… and if things go the way I believe they will, then you’ll soon have their protection, too.”
Trixie thought on this, but wasn’t certain she understood.
“What do you mea—” She looked up, but Octavia was gone.
Trixie gazed out the window, the morning sun just peering over the Canterlot cityscape. Smoke still rose from the feeder and vent tunnels throughout the city, suggesting that fires continued to burn in the slums. Were the riots ongoing, too? It had been two days since the final battle. How long could things keep up like this? She tried to take Luna’s words about the seeds of progress to heart, but it was difficult.
The door to Luna’s chambered opened, but Trixie didn’t look to see who it was. She merely sighed and kept up her vigilance at the window, wondering if she might find some way to make things right. Hoofsteps reached her ears as the visitor moved closer, and she raised her ears to indicate her awareness. The pony’s presence seemed large, so she knew it could only be Luna.
“Thinking on sacrifices made?”
Trixie’s eyes went wide: that wasn’t Luna. She turned about to find Princess Celestia sitting a few feet behind her. The princess’ head and ears were low, her eyes reflecting an unmistakable weariness. “There were a great many sacrifices, I know.”
“Princess.” Trixie bowed her head in respect. “I did not expect you to recover so quickly.”
“In body only, I assure you.” Celestia managed a weak smile. “That said, I am very pleased to finally, officially meet you, Trixie Lulamoon.”
Trixie paused, her ears lowering as she tilted her head. “But, you already—” She stopped herself, realizing the foolishness of what she had been close to saying.
Celestia nodded. “I remember everything she did, including your first time appearing in the throne room. However, the first time I met you was when you found me in the Everfree Forest, where I had been left in a state of wretchedness and loss for a millennia. She would visit me every fifty years or so, just to gloat.”
She leaned her head back to stare at the ceiling, though her eyes seemed to be gazing upon something else entirely. A tear fell down her pearly cheek. “You cannot comprehend the sheer joy I felt when you recognized me for what I really was. It was the first spark of hope I had felt since failing to defeat my corrupted half all those centuries ago.”
Trixie felt a strange sense of elation at those words, and offered a very warm smile. “I am happy to have been of service. I would do it all again if necessary.”
Celestia looked down at her and smiled, cheeks moist but eyes shining. “Miss Lulamoon, there are no words that may convey my gratitude. Equestria owes you its future. My sister and I owe you our very souls. Ask what you will of me, and it will be done.”
Trixie’s heart swelled with pride as Celestia bowed before her, tears beginning to form in her own eyes. “P-princess, please! That’s really not necessary.”
Celestia rose with a chuckle. “You friends said you had grown modest in your quest to save my sister. You need not be now. Come, surely there must be something I can do for you?”
Trixie considered, her eyes roaming the room for inspiration. What could she possibly ask for? Physical things were of no use to her. Fame and popularity were no longer factors in her happiness, and she had no intention of going back to the life she used to live. She turned to gaze out at the city below, her mind churning with possibilities.
Then she spotted the smoke. It reminded her of the slums… and then she thought of the tomb.
She turned to Celestia, heart heavy. “I would like Twilight… I mean, the one from the other time. I’d like a shrine built in her honor. I want everypony to know who she was and what she sacrificed for all of us. I can’t claim to know much, but I think the Equestria she knew was a happier one. Maybe this way the world can move a little faster to that place we all seek.”
Celestia stared with an awed expression, tears returning to her eyes. She abruptly looked away, a trembling hoof on her lips. “Y-yes… That is a good wish. After all she went through – after what my darker side put her through – she most certainly deserves the recognition. It will be done, Trixie, I promise. Yours is a request worthy of the Savior of Equestria.”
Trixie grinned, her chest light even as she sighed and averted her eyes. “Please don’t call me that.”
The princess giggled between her sniffs, a grin forming on her lips. “You are an inspiration, Trixie.” She turned her head to the doorway to call out, “Luna, it is time.”
Trixie’s ears perked up at the name... and the phrase. Time for what? After a couple seconds the doors opened once more and Luna entered in with a proud stride.
“You were waiting? What’s going on?”
“My sister and I have been discussing matters,” Luna explained with a grin. “We have formed a certain… agreement.”
The princesses beamed at Trixie, who stepped back against the window and felt her cheeks grow hot. “W-what kind of agreement?”
Celestia stood tall and beamed. “You have achieved great things for Equestria.”
“And for us, personally,” Luna added with pride.
“Our gratitude goes beyond mere favors,” Celestia pressed. “You have proven yourself in ways that humble us and all who have come to know you.”
Trixie wanted to melt into the floor: this was far too much praise for one pony! “Enough! I get it – you want to give me some reward. I think being with Luna is reward enough, though.”
Luna giggled and tilted her head. “Do you not have plans beyond that?”
Trixie considered this for a moment, tapping her chin. Plans? Her plans had changed so many times since this whole ‘quest’ had begun, and now she realized that she was entirely clueless. Now that her job was done, what else was she supposed to do with her life?
“I… I don’t know. I was so focused on saving you, I never really thought about what might come next.”
Celestia shared a wry smile with her sister. “Well, we have an idea you may just approve of.”
Trixie raised an eyebrow, not sure she liked the way that was said. “What idea might that be?”
Luna tilted her head and averted her eyes with a playful smile. “Oh, nothing all that special.” She leaned forward, head dropped to Trixie’s level and wicked glint in her eye. “You know, I remember when you fought Nightmare Moon in the dream world. Wings look rather… fetching on you.”
Trixie’s eyes went wide as comprehension dawned on her. She reared back to wave her hooves. “Whoa, whoa, hold on! Are you suggesting I become an… an ali… alic—”
“Actually,” Celestia interrupted with a giggle, “we were going to say princess. But yes, alicorn is also accurate.”
“I can’t!”
Trixie turned to gaze at the city below, alarm and fear mixing within her. “I don’t know a thing about ruling! All I’ve done all this time is fight. I’m not a leader. You want somepony else. W-what about Twilight? The one from the other world was an alicorn, wasn’t she? M-maybe this world’s Twilight was meant to be one, too.”
Celestia shook her head, that pleased grin still set on her lips. “You did more than just fight, Trixie.”
Luna stepped close and set a hoof to Trixie’s shoulder. “The Element Bearers would have never discovered their own gifts if you had not first revealed those gifts. You could not have done that if you did not already have the qualities within you.”
Trixie turned to her, mind frantic. “I was just doing what I had to. You don’t want me as a co-ruler, Luna, really! Don’t you remember? I’m arrogant and… and self-centered. I rush into things, and I don’t think anything through. S-surely there’s somepony more qualified! I didn’t even know what I was doing when I helped the others. I just did what came naturally!”
Celestia nodded, her face the epitome of pride. “Precisely. Compassion, integrity, confidence, tolerance, devotion, leadership. You displayed all the best qualities of ponykind without any guidance at all, because they are part of who you are. That, Trixie, is a sure sign of your worthiness.”
Trixie opened her mouth to object, but her words were stifled by Luna’s hoof. She looked to her lover with big eyes as the princess spoke, “Your flaws do not make you any less qualified. Look at my sister and me; we have been literally battling our own demons for a millennia, and could not come close to winning without the help of a mere showpony. Are we any more worthy to rule?”
Luna’s eyes were moist as she knelt down to nuzzle Trixie’s shoulder. “What you have done humbles us. Having you at our side would do us far more honor that you might feel you were receiving.”
Trixie accepted the motion, enjoying the now-familiar warmth it gave her, but then pushed Luna away to look her in the eyes. “B-but what if I mess up?” She turned to Celestia. “What if I do the wrong thing, or make the wrong decisions?”
Celestia gestured to herself and her sister. “That is why we are here with you. We will rule together, Trixie, and we will all guide one another through the future. Ask us for help, use our insight. I assure you, we will be seeking yours.”
Trixie sat, moving carefully with her cast, and blew out a long, calming breath. She tried to think as clearly and rationally as she could. She wasn’t certain she wanted this kind of responsibility, but if they were both so insistent…
“Do… Do you really think I have what it takes to be a princess?”
Celestia nodded. “There is not a shred of doubt in either of our minds.”
Luna sat and nudged Trixie’s shoulder to catch her attention. “We know it is a big decision, and it is entirely up to you. We will respect your choice either way.”
She leaned down to nuzzle Trixie and whispered directly into her ear. “But, if you want a little motivation, remember that alicorns are a very long-lived pony race. Becoming one yourself would give the two of us much more… time to ourselves.” She punctuated the sentence by blowing into Trixie’s ear, which made her body shiver and her face burn.
Trixie stepped back, shook herself and stared at Luna for several seconds. Her gaze went to Celestia, then back to Luna. Her mind went rampant with the ideas that had suddenly been thrust into her head.
“W-well… When you put it that way…”
The sisters laughed in unison.
The sun peered brightly through the clouds. Trixie glowered at it, having long grown accustomed to the cool shadows of the night. But if she was to do what she wanted, she had to come during the day, so she did her best to ignore the glare. She walked up the steps, adjusted her cape and hat and knocked on the door. She had to wait for some time, and knocked twice more before there was an answer.
Amethyst stood at the door, eyelids lowering at the sight of her former friend. “You again.”
Trixie didn’t hesitate or avert her eyes. She met that gaze firmly, ready for whatever might come. “Can we talk?”
Amethyst raised an eyebrow. “You tried that once already. Go mooch off somepony else.” She started to close the door, but it shined magenta and swung open against her will.
Trixie stepped well within the doorframe and locked Amethyst with a firm look. “Let me speak, Ammy. If you don’t like what I have to say then you’ll never have to face me again, but let me speak.”
Amethyst’s eyebrows rose in surprise and she took a step back. “You grew a backbone.”
“I’ll be growing something else this time next week.” Trixie entered the room and closed the door with her magic.
Her old friend let her head flop back on her shoulders and rolled her eyes. “Alright, Trix, what do ya want? Make it quick and don’t ask for any bits, ’cause I won’t give ’em.”
A wry grin came upon Trixie’s lips, a chuckle escaping her throat. “Here.”
Her horn shined and a large bag poofed into existence in the air between them. It floated over to Amethyst, who eyed it as if it might contain a bomb. “What’s this?”
It was Trixie’s turn to roll her eyes. “Just open it, Ammy.”
Amethyst glowered, but used her magic to take the bag and lower it carefully to the floor. She sat and pushed it open, and her eyes grew wide: it was filled to the brim with bits.
“Wha…? Where did you…?”
Trixie smirked. “That’s for all the rent that I never paid.”
Amethyst stared at her old friend, lips moving soundlessly and legs hanging limp at her sides. “Y-you… Trix… What did you do to… to…”
“And this—” Trixie embraced the dumbstruck pony, “—is for everything else.”
Amethyst said nothing for nearly a minute, stunned speechless. At last she regained some sense of control, pushing Trixie back to look at her directly. “I don’t understand.”
“Well I do.” Trixie offered a soft smile. “It took me a while, but I figured it out. All the bad things you said, the way you pushed me, even when you finally booted me from this place for good. You were right to be frustrated, Ammy; I was pretty pathetic.”
She stepped back and sat, basking in her old friend’s confusion. “But I figured it out. You were trying to make me move on in the only way you knew how. You really were a good friend, even when I was the worst. So thank you, Ammy. Thank you for tolerating me for so long. I won’t be needing it anymore.”
Amethyst gazed at her for some time. Trixie could almost see the cogs turning in her head. At last Amethyst leaned back to ask, “What in Equestria happened to you?”
Trixie grinned. “I met a princess and made some new friends. I got a life, just as you suggested. I took charge of my future, and soon I’ll be taking on more responsibility than you can imagine. You’ll hear about it soon, I promise.”
Amethyst considered her words, eyes darting about the room as if she were not sure what to look for. She sat and scratched the back of her head. “Trix… I’m not sure I can really believe this.”
“I know.” Trixie bowed her head in contemplation. “It’s all so different from what we’re used to. But you’ll see soon enough that I’m not chasing after dreams anymore. That’s all I really wanted to say.”
She turned away and made for the door. “Thank you for being there for me, Ammy. More importantly, thank you for not being there when I was at my most desperate. It was one of those things that really needed to happen.”
Amethyst tilted her head, lips fumbling about once more. “I... umm… You’re welcome?”
Trixie shot her one last wry grin. “Oh, and I have one more thing for you. You can thank me when you come to the castle.”
Amethyst sagged and let out a frustrated growl. “At some point you’re gonna start making sense. What the buck are you talki—”
The door opened and Amethyst’s words caught in her throat: there, leaning against the doorframe with a smug expression, was Rainbow Dash. “I hear there’s a big fan living here.”
Trixie walked out the door, grinning from ear to ear as a squeal of delight erupted from the house. The door closed as she left the steps and waved towards the street corner. A dark sapphire chariot rumbled towards her, and when it stopped Luna gave her a knowing wink.
“How did it go?”
“Wonderfully.” Trixie boarded and waved to the pegasus team. They lifted off into the skies above Hoofington. “Thanks for letting me borrow the chariot for this, Luna. It means a lot to me.”
“I know it does.” Luna nuzzled Trixie’s cheek playfully. “You will have to wait until after the transformation, but worry not; you will have a carriage of your own by your inauguration. You did invite her, yes?”
“I dropped a hint,” Trixie replied, taking a moment to lean against her lover. “We’ll see if she takes to it. I wonder if she’ll go back to being the Royal Jeweler?”
Luna shrugged, wrapping a wing about Trixie. “Time will tell, I suppose.”
“Time.” Trixie leaned back in the carriage and relaxed, snuggling close to her most precious princess. “That’s something we’ve got plenty of.”
The carriage disappeared amongst the clouds. To the ponies in the peaceful town below, it might have existed only in a dream.
If this were a movie... here's what would play over the credits.
Just imagine Luna singing this:
And that's it, we're done!
I always have mixed feelings about my endings. I never feel like they're...right. People tell me otherwise all the time, but it's rare that I write an ending that I consider completely satisfactory. In this instance, I question whether Luna's calm, gentle return was the best approach. I also ponder on whether I could have done anything else with Celestia's moment with Trixie. Even so, I think this is at least better than my usual conclusions.
There's a lot of room left over to expand the world of Trixie vs. Equestria, and as I was writing I intentionally seeded things that could lead to more stories. Before posting this final chapter I went to my user page and updated my "Future Stories" list with three new concepts, all set around expanding this universe (I would have put them up earlier, but spoilers). It may be a while before I get to any of them, as I have an original story to write and I need to focus on Lightning's Bolt, but in time.
This has been just as entertaining a story for me as it was for everyone else, and I'm rather proud of it (which is unusual for me). Once my editor and I approve of a final copy I'll resubmit it to EQD, because I think it's worth the attention.
Story Stats:
Final Word Count (pre-edit): 145,822
Chapters: 26
Total time: 5 months
Word average: 29,000 per month
A few shout-outs:
Mooncalf
RTStephens
Mercgilado
That_one_guy
Your continuous commenting and feedback has been very much appreciated. I wish there were more frequent (and helpful) commenters like you guys out there. So thanks! It's been a pleasure bantering with you.
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Excellent, well done and I stand by my earlier statements that this deserves more views C:<
Nicely done.
I think I'll now peruse through your other stories now.
3705205
Many thanks! But yeah, more vies would be nice.
3705534
They won't be up to par, but I appreciate the interest.
Aw no no no! You can't end it there! You have to at least give us a taste of what happens between Luna and Trixie after she is alicornated... er... after her coronation! Lol, amazing story!
3706052
Another story, another time...perhaps. Glad you enjoyed it!
Awesome! /)
(\
This story was just great, thank you so much for sharing it.
Good luck with your future projects.
3706273
Many thanks!
Alternate Title: Trixie Guest Round Robin
A satisfying ending. Just about everything has been settled and Trixie and Luna get to stay together for a good long while.
Kinda nifty how Trixie grew from the mare she was to the mare she is now. For kicking flank, she sure did learn a thing or two about being a better pony.
Nice way to reconcile with Amethyst. The poor gal had so much presence in the beginning and then kinda fell off somewhere in the middle. She better use those bits for a one-way ticket to Canterlot pronto!
Nice work! I'm glad I got to read this and experience all the highs and lows.
3706502
I'm glad you did, too. It's always nice to have someone who will give me opinions on my work and let me know how I'm doing.
Excellent and Elegant
It really tied up nicely, and you made Trixie work for this ending. No contrivances, nothing like that. I wish Twilight got the privilege to suffer unimaginable emotional turmoil to become an alicorn.
3706939
What, unimaginable turmoil? Have you seen Twilight friends? Putting up with them all at once might just count.
Sarcasm aside, I was originally hesitant to go the alicorn reward route, simply because it seemed like such an obvious one. But I don't mind that now, 'cause I think Trixie's more than earned it.
It was never my intention, but now that you mention it...how ironic that Twilicorn got killed and replaced with an arguably superior pony.
Perhaps there was some subconscious meaning to this, after all.
But I doubt it.
3706985
Well, after hearing Cadance's own alicorn adventure, I knew it was possible to surpass Twilight's own. She even did it with less music. Speaking of, where... is Cadance in all of this? Or did you already cover that?
No argument here
Also, is the universe something you plan to keep to yourself, as far as expanding it goes?
Good ending. Nice callout to MMC. (Though you could argue that Trixie's done far more than Canon Twilight. Then again, I fear Hasbro would be leery of picking up this story for animation. Would not go over well with the intended demographic, I suspect.) Touching back with Amethyst was expected, but well done. It is an often forgotten fact that the hero's journey is supposed to change the hero, and Trixie has grown. Admittedly it's easy to overlook with the time between chapters and Trixie's general tendency to be badass (as I've said, the fact that she consistently plays the underdog yet keeps winning only serve to make her look better) but it's there.
Still feel sorry for Broken Twilight. Even if she's technically to blame for everything, she feels like she deserved better. But then that's the point. And pulling a 'reset button' ending would have stolen all purpose of the story. Still gives me a bad gut feeling thinking on it. I may have to read or write something cute to balance it out.
It's been a good journey. Peace out.
3707029
Oh, Cadance exists. I have something very specific in mind with her. She's obviously nonexistent for this story, but I by no means forgot about her. If I ever get to writing one of the prequels then her part will become known.
A fanfiction of a fanfiction would be the highest form of flattery (in the same vein as fanart of a fanficiton). Aside from that, someday I might decide that I want to write a fanfic of somebody else's fic, so if I said no it would be rather hypocritical. If people want to toy with my material in their own works, I wouldn't mind...though I would obviously reserve the right to decide if anything not written by me is canon.
Besides, free publicity! Given my lack of readership, that's something I obviously need.
3707109
Looking back at the Scott Pilgrim inspiration, Amethyst was the Wallace to Trixie's Scott, and I envisioned Amethyst as having a similar role. Her general disappearance halfway through the story was very intentional; she had to stop holding Trixie's hoof for Trixie to take those final steps. The reconciliation was inevitable, and it made me quite happy.
Ah, Broken Twilight. One of my (inevitably tragic) prequels is set to focus on her. But as I said after Fine Crime died, once I kill a character I generally avoid bringing them back. But her end served an overarching purpose. One of the things I was always hoping to arrange - and the creation of a shrine in her honor begins - is the initiation of Twilight not as an alicorn or even as a martyr, but as a saint. In future additions to this universe, should I make any, I'd like her name to ascend to this level, if not beyond. It's my own way of forgiving myself for what I put her through.
Hmm...I sense a sequel concept coming on. Just how would this universe's Twilight cope with being the doppelganger of a saint?
The gears in my head, they are turning.
One journey has ended. I must continue on to the next one; there are too many ideas swimming in this head of mine to stop now.
this ,magnificent story is fucking done and still below 100 likes, i don't want to live on this planet anymore
3707514
If that makes you feel bad, imagine how it makes me feel. I'm trying to get it on EQD for a reason.
3707226
I have ideas of my own that need life, but I'd consider expanding this universe afterwards
Also, since I'm greedy and I like your writing, if you need an editor/pre-reader/unpain intern or whatever in the future, I could do it.
3707574
Hmm...I've already have one volunteer who is going to go over TvE as an editor, and a friend who occasionally does the job when he has time. But the more eyes the fewer mistakes! I'd be happy to accept a third editor.
Maybe I should adjust my methods. I have always posted my chapters without the use of editors or pre-readers; that always came later. Maybe I should consider the pre-post method, instead.
Seeing as of how you've already read through TvE, perhaps we could instead work together on my Lightning Dust fic that's been on hiatus for the past month.
3707767
It'd be nice. I need to polish up my own Lightning Dust story (as in, edit the first chapter so it's not a first draft anymore, then finish the damn thing). Maybe dusting your lightning will help me dust mine.
3721260
Let's see if you're still thinking about that process come Chapter 4.
3727751
The first of many questions you'll be having. As it says in the description, lots of things are the same...but there are also lots of differences. You'll be seeing far more differences as you move along.
I can't tell you much. This is the kind of story where talking about pretty much anything results in spoilers. Just try to enjoy the ride, k?
3727679
Don't worry too much about grammar and whatnot; I've got a kick-flank editor looking at everything in GDocs, and I promise most everything will be fixed as we go along. You're just ahead of the editing process.
3727871
I was hoping someone would respond with something like that.
I knew I should have made a bet on whether you could stick to the 'one chapter a day' rule.
3728207
You think they're better, but just wait.
3728444
Every now and again I do feel like I should update the tags, but for some reason I never get around to it. Let me just handle that real quick...
3728685
Whoa, you're already halfway through the book?!
3727908
My notifications aren't showing your replies. And I just saw them, and what can I say. My personality is one part Twilight and one part Pinkie Pie. And Twilight just can't put a good story down. You've done a fine job with this fic so far. I just got finished with the Redux chapter and I'm hoping Twilight lives so that Trixie can get all 6 together to give Celestia and Luna an rainbow, orbital, friendship strike.
3729251
You're certainly going through it a lot faster than I expected. Glad to see you're enjoying it!
Took me a few minutes to realize you meant the Reddux chapter.
First things first. I'm ecstatic that you're expanding the TvEVerse. Please for all that is good and holy, PM me when you get started on the sequel, or side stories that tie to this timeline. That being said.
For the first four chapters it sort of trudged along, but was building a rather solid base. I was expecting an entirely different story line by what I was reading from the chapter titles. But as the story progressed, and all the odd moments came together in a way that eventually made sense. I found I could not tear myself away from this story. Each battle knocked them out of the spell they were under and showed us a glimpse of who they were, and Celestia turned out to be the source of all of their pains and suffering. And that Celestia was the evil one all along. That was a stroke of genius.
I am saddened that this doesn't have a Tropes Page. If there was any story that deserved to be there it is this fic. That being said. This story was dark. As I mentioned before this story really could've used a Dark Tag. While not gorey like some Dark fics are prejudiced as. It had the heart of the Dark tag definition, and it was such a Crapsachrine World that at first it took me by surprise before it punting me in the feels. There were a few misspellings, and a few times where you had a character pause, or something. Ended a paragraph without the End " marks and then continued downwards that took a few secs that it was the same character. While a totally valid way of doing dialog how it was executed felt blocky and confusing. Didn't happen often but here and there.
But frell did I love the feels in this story. The best moments were spent in combat, or hunting for clues. But when Trixie, Luna, and the others bared their souls. Trixie when she found Twilight after loosing her friend and buried her. When Trixie and Luna talked seriously for the first time before the Twilight battle, and had that "real" emotional connection. Even when Fine Crime gave a speech similar to that of the Operative in Serenity. Just before Fine Crime died. Yes he was a monster in his own words and would never live to see a perfect world. But his sacrifice was amazing and with everything he did behind the scenes for Trixie, for everypony. It really cemented him as an amazing Anti-Hero.
I seriously can't wait to see this continued some day, and I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors. Thank you for the time you spent writing this epic fic. I really hope it goes places some day.
-TheGreatEater
3729992
That's awesome.
Wow, did you seriously just read the entire story in one day?
1) The first four chapters seemed to drag because I wasn't certain where I was going. It wasn't 'till I hit chapter 4 that everything came together and I knew what I was doing (in fact at that point I more or less had the entire story set in my head, minus a couple details).
2) I've never even heard of stories having a Tropes Page.
3) I went ahead and added a Dark Tag earlier today after your previous mention of it. As I said before, I already sorta knew it needed one, but was lazy and never bothered.
4) As mentioned, I just acquired a new editor who is now gradually going through the story for grammatical issues (amongst other things). Hopefully this story will be polished like a gem when I submit it to EQD (again).
5) Yes, lots of feels threaded throughout. As for Fine Crime, he was the first OC I ever made for MLP, and remains my favorite. I love that guy.
6) Yes, TvE will definitely be expanding. But I have to limit myself to one story, and at the moment that means instead expanding my No Heroes universe. No worries, though; once my Lightning's Bolt story is concluded I'll probably jump back to the TvE universe. Can't promise the prequel/sequel I select will be anywhere near as good as this was, though.
Seriously though, I can't believe you got through it all in one day! Your praise (and criticism) is most welcome, and I'll be sure to let you know when I'm returning to this world.
3730347
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanWorks/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Scroll down to the Fan Fic tab and behold the list of awesome stories there in. Honestly my first introduction to Fan Fics was through there, and MLP fanfics were my first introduction to fanfics as a whole.
I really hope the world you make is more than one story
, from the first fic alone it looks like it could easily rival the Who Rules?: series as the greates spanning epic ever created for myself at least. And with how good this story was I'm sure that the following stories will be no less amazing.
And thanks. As I said this story was riveting, I literally had to tear myself away from the computer at times. I'm glad to say that this story is one of my new all time favs.
Well done. Enough said.
3746900
Happiness abounds.
3746976
*Nods*
3879841
It's only weird imo cause like, if the author wrote a story long ago, and your criticizing it now, after its been written and read and re-written and edited.
It's like your commenting on what they did instead of what they can do, and just cause they don't want to go back and edit old work doesn't mean they are bad.
Not that this story is bad mind you, is very good in fact.
But if one is simply commenting on their experience throughout the story, they might find it weird simply because no one wants to read their experience, minus the author of course. And since the story is old, you might be doing it alone, singling yourself out to the author.
Philosophy
Wow, that wall. All on a galaxy s2.
3880945
I think talking to the author is the whole point of commenting, and I like hearing that my old stories are still worth commenting on! But I suppose I can see where you're coming from.
3880986
Don't worry, I'll keep commenting on your 'old' stuff.
Just don't expect editor level stuff. Lol
3881957
It's how the mind works I guess
If anyone ever says Trixies reward is not earned or something of that variety, please redirect then to Celestias words.
She is more than deserving IMO and anything less would just be leaving a hero high and dry.
Excellent story, loved it.
Now I have to go watch Scott Pilgrim.
3882886
Glad you enjoyed it! And you're right, I noticed the tendency to knock Trixie into the air about when I got to the Twilight battle. Actually, there are a couple points in the Twilight and Celestia battles that are startlingly similar, and they even share a line of dialogue that was completely unintentional.
I'll be fixing that in the edits.
Gah! That was great! My predictions were practically spot on (I thought alicorn twilight killed discord on purpose). I don't want to sound arrogant or anything but I get what you mean with your complaints about your own ending. It's good, and it ties up the loose ends, but it feels as if it lacks the punch that the rest of your story had. I think you need something that really gets back to the heart of the story, a moral or something. I want to see Trixie reaching out to earth ponies and pegasi bringing the three tribes together to help rebuild equestria and both sides being hesitant. I want to see her visit alicorn twilight for closure. I want to see Trixie promise Twilight that she will return equestria to it's former state of harmony, before twilight interfered. That things aren't perfect, but now they are getting better. It's a used ending, but it works, especially here. It's a gritty world you built, and the ending is just a little too much sunshine and rainbows. Otherwise I love the story. Thank you for promising to leave Fine dead, and I mean that as a compliment to him. He is a fantastic character, and deserves better than becoming an OC Zombie. I'm sure you'll make it on EQD, you're a great writer. Plus if Seth reads this he'll make everyone else read it too
!
3903369
I actually disagree with the whole 'Trixie will settle all wrongs' concept of the ending you suggest. Not because it's bad or doesn't fit, though. There are a myriad of reasons.
For one, I felt that after all the turmoil and struggle, Trixie deserved to just be happy for a change, even if the determined observer can tell it will only be a temporary lull before the work of fixing Equestria comes. Aside from that, all those extra elements would actually detract from the running point of TvE, which was Trixie's personal growth through her quest to save Luna. She achieved the goal, and adding new but not-to-be-addressed goals at the very end wouldn't be kosher. In other words, the purpose of TvE was completed.
A good designer seeks perfection not by asking "what is there to add?", but by asking "what can't I take away?"
But the real, major reason I couldn't broach those subjects? Sequels. These topics are set to be addressed broadly through the eyes of those Trixie has helped. I have planned three so far, one for Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie. My overarching goal is to have one story for each of the Mane 6, which will be concurrent to one another. If they go the way I want, then Trixie may yet star in her own sequel once theirs are done.
But first, a prequel. Watch for my blog update on Friday!
3903447 Hmm... I see what you mean. I think my main problem was looking at TvE as a standalone story, rather than as part of a larger series. Looking at it in retrospect I guess I had a bad gut reaction to the imperfect state of equestria not playing into the end, but at a second glance after reading your comment I like your ending a lot more. I totally agree that Trixie deserves a small lull of happiness. When I was thinking of TvE as standalone it just seemed like you were going to ignore the issues in Equestria just to give it to her, but looking at this book as the start of a series makes this much better.
I can't wait for the sequels you have planned. I really hope you do something special with AJ and Rainbow. They're great characters, but a lot of time writers either let them become too predictable, or write them out of character. I expect you to do great things with them, especially with the backstory you've given them.
And once again, sorry if I came off as rude, or arrogant in my first comment. I can tell you put a lot into this piece and it is well thought out, clearly more so than the ending I thought up on the spot. I try to be a constructive critic, cause I know that's what I will want once I put out some work. And thanks for commenting back. seeing that last chapter in a better light makes me happier I read this story. You haven't seen the last of me.
3903948
As a writer, I tend to go big every time. I always look for ways to seed sequel opportunities into my stories, to such a degree that it most certainly gets out of hand. Pinkie's clones escaping, Rainbow's hinted battle and loss to Gulfstream, Rarity's deal with Fancy Pants, even Trixie's request to build a shrine for Twilight; those are just a few things intentionally designed with sequels in mind. I try to always leave room for expansion, at the risk that I might never have time to get to the sequel concept. There are nine extra stories I could write for TvE alone, and I've got (pauses to count) six other AUs planned or already created with plans to expand.
As you can see, I intend to keep busy.
And by all means, be critical! I ignore likes and focus on comments. TvE currently has close to 100 likes, but if nobody commented on it I would consider it a failure. I want opinions so I can know what people do and don't like! How would I grow into a better writer, otherwise? So please, on any story of mine you ever read, comment! Do it on every chapter!
Talk to me. I usually talk back.
4134121
LoL! Just goes to show that one can never have too many eyes on a story.
For your knowledge, we've only edited up to chapter 9 as of now (working on 10 presently), so expect a shift in quality once you get around that point.
Although to be honest, I'd never seen the phrase used in such a way...
Well, you want my opinion on TvE?
Personally, I thought it was good... A few scenes I didn't agree with, but a major plot twist that is not only feasible, but logical enough that it might just happen... Twilight time travelling isn't anything new, and research into the first Discord fight would be reason enough to go back and check... Since Twilight seems to want nothing to do with Discord in the best of times...
So, yeah... Plot Twist gets an A for A-exemplory...
Trixie becomes a fully fleshed out character... With personal flaws and interesting traits that define her, while still staying true to the "This is me, I only care about me.... But maybe I could do this as well...." She has personality, and yet fights to retain her personal image, which is changing without her knowing anyway....
Amethyst was also a star here... (Get it? HAHA) Although her presence was missing throughout (almost) the entire second half of the story her presence was noticed because of how much Trixie relied on her day-to-day as a means to get by....
Luna too, was also a great personality, remaining aloof throughout the majority of the story, and really coming into her own around the Pinkie fight...
But since we're now on the subject of the fights.... I'll just go through them in order...
Rarity was a good start... her general fighting style is reminiscent of the "Fighting is Magic" fan-project... Since most of her attacks relied on gems... And gems are truly outrageous... Trixie showing mercy in the end saving Rarity was a must... As she said herself, she was not a murderer....
Applejack was next.... I think... And the situation with her and the farm would've made it tough for her to remain sane... Although having read No Heroes before TvE, I find it hard to believe that Upper Crust would be so shallow to just throw parties all the time.... Then again, this is an alternate timeline to that story, since No Heroes takes place in universe 1, whereas this is universe 2... Or at least that's how I'm seeing it, since Twilight time travelled and created a new time-sequence....
Bleh... feel free to ignore that paragraph... I just don't want to re-write my thought process...
The burning of Trixie's caravan was also more symbolic than anything... Since it wasn't just her home... etc, etc... it was all covered in the story itself, so, I won't say anything more about that...
Rainbow Dash!
Well, who knew that a reverse-polarity shield would hurt so much... but then again, the force of a sonic-boom... compressed FURTHER, then unleashed in a single direction? That sounds like pain... Details of this fight are scarce, since it was really just RD flying rings around Trix until she built said shield...
Pinkie Pie & Fluttershy!
Alright, you must get some sick pleasure out of writing Pinkie Pie fighting... I mean, really...
I wasn't a fan of Pink vs Fine in No Heroes, and I REALLY didn't enjoy this one...
The 4th wall exists for a reason... Tearing actual bucking WORDS out of a paragraph to form a weapon? Just... No...
Yes, I know that Pinkie is special, and yes, I know it's probably more true to the show than anything else... But there is nothing Pinkie does in the show, or even in fiction anywhere, that makes her a likable character to me... She annoys me.... And that feeling is magnified when there are several thousand of them, with one carrying a sentence like a sword.... Just... No....
Please no....
Fluttershy gets a short obligatory mention because reasons....
That is all...
And now we're up to Twilight...
Once more, the fight against Twilight comes and goes without real thought... tearing open the gates of tartarus was interesting... But if Twilight was wielding the Alicorn Amulet, doesn't she just draw power from it, instead of using her own reservoirs?
Since Twilight doesn't have the power to age up anypony, how could Trixie?
But yeah, the aftermath of that fight with Trix throwing Twilight into Tartarus itself was a bit much if you ask me... But then again, you can only remove the amulet by your own will, so there really wasn't much option....
I also do love how you made Twilight react once she realised that her life was a sham... Well, not a sham, but a shadow of her alternate-universe self... And once she learns what actually happened, then it seems a revelation itself on her... The reluctance to see the other Twilight's tomb shows only a fraction of what her actual person would be... But, it's not about her...
Sorry, I'm a Twilight fan...
Next fight: Nightmare Moon... (I'm sure it's only one word for Nightmare btw)
Fighting in a dream sequence? Well, I couldn't have thought of a better place to do so...
And making it so that NMM is physically THERE in the dream makes perfect sense too! Kudos to the fight... Although why Trixie chooses to fight with a hammer is beyond me....
Maybe because beating NMM senseless couldn't happen with any other weapon.... haha...
Fine Crime...
A resounding ehhhhhh.....
I got that he wasn't trying to kill her just about when the fight started... Actually with all that he was doing behind Celestia's back I was expecting his "resistance" to be quite little... But since he's bound to Celestia then the only way for him to stop is to be killed...
Then again, once you "stop" the one he's bound to, wouldn't that free him from his obligations? Or at least let the good Celestia (since they're the same pony) to re-assess his vows?
I don't know, that would be magic and.... stuff... That I'm just not going to try and analyse....
That being said, the fight VS Celestia was... well, basically how you/one of the other characters described it...
A lone pony, with no special powers, goes up against the most powerful (living) thing on the planet...
Yeah, she never had a hope...
Outside the fights, there really wasn't much more to go off...
Since that was basically the entire thing in a nutshell...
I haven't seen SP vs world, and I probably never will, so I can't draw comparisons between it and the story... But, from an outside perspective, it reminds me more of a "mortal kombat" sort of thing...
Now that I think about it, this is basically the entire story in a nutshell...
You are said average pony... You must fight against 7 others for a chance at glory...
If you succeed, then to win your prize you must fight the one who started it all...
And then you cheat on the final boss because it's impossible to win any other way...
HA
I didn't notice any great shift in quality between the chapters that had been proof-read and those that hadn't... There were still little errors here and there throughout the entire story... A few sentences that didn't make sense... A paragraph or so that was useless...
If there's one major complaint that I do have is that almost everything said is exposition...
"I am fighting because of this"
"Trixie does this for this reason"
"If Trixie can talk to this pony she can get closer to this"
Sure, there were some conversations that were there just as filler... But it's the filler that makes the story... You can't just go from one event to the next with no rest... There's so much mystery that's built up within the story through everyone's deception and lies... But there's no real payoff in the end because it's all done one step after the other... There's no break from the information... Just one solid mouthful after another with no pause for a drink...
Sure, it's a deep story with a lot of twists... And trying to piece it all together on a single read was rather hard... You make great plot lines, that's for sure... But, yeah... There's very little pause in the information, which is probably why it was so hard to piece together... Because there was so much to take at once...
But anyway, this is getting a little long-winded...
Please note (as always) that anything not listed here was fine, or slipped my mind... Since there were a few scenes when I said out loud "This is great"... (Some strange looks at the work lunch room I got...)
But, yeah... I'll await your response to this eagerly. I only wish there was more to the story...
(Also, FYI, if you would like/need/want another set of eyes to look over things, I'm more than happy to help.. It also means you get a message like this after every chapter! YAY! That would at least let me remember everything I wanted to say... But, such is the joys of writing a broad review in less than 20 minutes...)
Wow, 1.5k words...
I spend too much time doing this....
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You are indeed seeing it correctly. Upper Crust doesn't have any of her character development from No Heroes, and is essentially what was displayed in the show itself. Generally speaking, a fairly worthless character. Which, I'll admit, is somewhat sad.
So I should just assume that anything featuring Pinkie is doomed to be panned by you, eh? Guess I won't be asking you to read the Fine/Pinkamina story I have planned, should I ever get to writing it.
First, I'm planning to modify the scene at the gates a smidgeon. Having Trixie actually plan Reddux's arrival now seems a touch too... contrived, so I intend in the edits to make it so his presence wasn't expected.
Second, my headcanon of the Alicorn Amulet proposes that it amplifies a unicorn's power; the pony still uses his/her own reserves, but requires less of it to do the same work. Well, that's the theory in a nutshell.
You might be interested to know that I'm in the process of writing Twilight's Inferno, a prequel detailing the other Twilight's journey through Tartarus. The only reason I haven't been posting it is because I want to have my commissioned cover art available when I do, hoping that will draw some attention. It won't be as good as TvE (not even close), but it plays into my overall TvE universe plans.
My reason for giving Trixie a hammer, at least for that battle, was meant to be a reference to Scott Pilgrim, as Scott's target girl Ramona Flowers fights with a hammer she occasionally pulls from Hammerpace. I've thought about going back and giving her a hammer in all her battles, just to make it her signature weapon, but figured it would be better to let her wield multiple weapons at different times to further suggest creativity.
I didn't really think about Trixie's reason at the time, but it does make a bit of sense. A blow from a warhammer will hurt, but it's less likely to be lethal, and at the beginning of the battle I'm sure Trixie hadn't planned on going for a fight to the death against her beloved Luna.
That assumes Trixie can just knock Fine Crime out or find some way to incapacitate him while she went to deal with Celestia, which is of course not guaranteed. Trixie might have been able to do it I suppose, but it wasn't really looking plausible during the fight.
I think you're confusing cheat with cheap. Shao Khan's a pain in the ass, but once you figure out his limited moveset...
While I have used filler extensively for plot continuance (and I can point to No Heroes as evidence), I have to disagree. A fast pace is not necessarily a bad pace. If it's hard to catch everything the first time, that's encouragement to read it again and look for what you missed – or at least that's how I approach stories like this. And I don't understand how you can say there's no payoff; how does adding filler (that in this case will just reiterate everything that's already been said) equal big payoff?
What's that? No more to the story? Ahem, let me direct you to this.
When you say that, are you talking about going through TvE specifically or my new material? 'Cause when I first read it I thought you were talking about new material, but then I remembered how you opined that Lightning's Bolt wasn't finished and realized that might not be the case after all.
Fact is, me and my editor have the goal of getting TvE into Equestria Daily. They already rejected it once, and we're planning on going through the first 4-5 chapters a second time in hopes of clearing out any loose ends. I don't anticipate being accepted – it's been made abundantly clear that the EqD people disapprove of my literary style – but I'm still giving it another go.
Anyway, I' glad you (mostly) liked it!
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That's good.... I assumed that Uppity never had the revelation of actually being somepony... But yeah, that was from a different story, thanks for clearing that up...
I have read some good Pinkie stories.... But it's just that when she breaks everything of what a story is about that gets to me...
Like, just using your fight with her as an example... I try to get into the story as if I was there... But when Pinkie shows up, tearing actual words from the story it just kills the feeling of actually being there... If that makes sense....I don't know... If she were a normal pony, I probably would be so bugged by it... But the premise of Pinkie (the real one) hunting down her other clones doesn't sound too bad... As long as we keep the word-swords out of her hooves...
Deal?
But as you said, the Pinkie x Fine story in the NH universe? I'd be skeptical as to if I'd want to see that happen... I never believed they really had anything going on between the two of them (besides the Bloodmane thing) but that's just how I see it... Who knows, when you get around to it, I might just read it since it's from you, and everything I've read of yours so far is brilliant!
After a second quick flick-through of the Twi/Trix fight, there wasn't much (if any) mention of Trixie opening the gates FOR Reddux to appear... That was kind of a coincidence... All she planned on doing was opening the gates as a distraction... And if you put that much energy into an earthquake spell, somepony (or somedragon) is bound to notice...
Twilight prequel story?
YES PLEASE!
oh goody goody goody goody goody goody goody goody!
sorry, I'll stop...... heh
(Talking about the hammer in dream sequence in this bit)
Ah, another movie tie-in...
Yeah, haven't seen it (the movie).... Can't judge... Moving on...
Yeah, Trixie wasn't equipped to knock out Fine... Then again, if Octavia knew of his plan all along, could he have just gotten her to take care of him before the fight between them?
I mean, if I was married to someone who was going to sacrifice themself I would've at least TRIED to think of something to stop it from happening... Or am I just reading too much into it?
I am yet to meet a person who can beat Shao Khan on brutal (or whatever the hardest setting is) through arcade mode... So, if you can do that, my hat goes off... I was just never good at button-mashing...
Yeah, I'm not sure what I was thinking when talking about over-use of exposition... Maybe it was because I wanted the story to be longer...
But, yeah, I do understand how you explained it... It just seemed to go from one major plot point to the next with very little break in the information (or lies) That's just how I saw it on my first go... I'm usually wrong...
Wow... That's a lot planned for this series...
As I said in my other comment, (the one on that blog post)... After reading that post a second time, the stories I'm mostly looking forward to are Twi's Inferno, The world of TvE, The Pinkie story sounds promising... Oh forget it, it's better to just list the ones that aren't so interesting....
I'm not sure why "In a Sunburnt Country" Rainbow has to go searching for Gulf.... I mean, he's an Archon... The Archons work for Celestia... Couldn't she just ask Celestia as to what's going on or where he is?
The Fluttershy story (And AJ for that matter) don't have any real information in them, so I'll reserve the right to comment until a plot is thought out...
As for the "another set of eyes" I was referring to anything you have...
Seriously, after going through TvE and NH, I'd be more than happy to sample more great content...
I will probably get to Lightning's Bolt next... But I'm not sure... I'll get back to you when I'm finished.... heh...
I did like TvE... I liked it a lot...
I mean, there were parts I didn't like and a few others that I didn't understand... (As in, why characters were doing such actions and so on) But everything else fits together so well that the only comments I can make that aren't just saying how great this section is...
That's why most of these comments come across as mostly negative... Don't take it as a shot at you, I wouldn't read these if they weren't awesome... I just seem to remember the less awesome bits more than the completely brilliant ones....
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So what you're basically saying is so long as Pinkie Pie acts like Pinkie Pie, she's ruining your literary experience? I suppose it's a good thing I tend to avoid her, then. But you might like the Fine Crime/Pinkamina prequel/side story I have planned, as it focuses more on e serious stuff and thus will be avoiding her antics. In other words, it's more Pinkamina than Pinkie Pie. But it may be a long time before I get there, and I would have to do the Pinkie/Fluttershy/Fine Crime story first.
So much material... So little time...
It's insinuated on a couple occasions, for example:
I read a lot into insinuation. I intentionally put such things in my stories all the time, always with consequences in mind. So if I find something being suggested that I didn't intend, I take note.
An argument exists there, but one of the things Fine was also trying to do was get Trixie to go through the act of killing so that – just in case – she would be ready to do it to Celestia if she couldn't be saved. He told her as much. He had it set in his mind that he needed to die to make this work.
But I will admit that this is one of those things I didn't wholly consider. Things like this are why I want to write the prequel about the Order of Shadows, which is intended to reveal the planning behind all of this.
Hehe... yeah, I'm not that good.
Although I'm a gamer, I'm the type who wants to beat the game and move on to the next one; I'm certainly not going to spend my weeks trying to master the game like that.
You misunderstand. It's not about knowing he's okay. She killed Lightning Dust, who was like a sister to him. She needs to make up for it, and the only pony who can tell her how she might do that is Gulfstream. It's a journey in search of forgiveness, if you will.
It just so happens that my primary editor/proofreader has 'retired' from editing and needs to be replaced. I'd love to have you on for that role! The only question now is which story you would work on. As of now I'm only working on two: Lightning's Bolt and Twilight's Inferno. Lightning's Bolt is pretty far along. I'm not sure how much farther it's got, but it can't be more than seven or eight chapters (don't quote me on that). Twilight's Inferno is about halfway finished, but it's a much harder piece of work due to lots of research and planning that I have to do for the individual chapters.
SO, you can either: pick one of those stories to look at as I go, or (if you'd like to wait until I start something entirely new) you can read some of my shorter stories to take up some time. Seeing as of how I already have a prereader for each story and it's your time to use, I'll let you decide!
Also, if you want a recommendation for a story of mine to read in the meantime, I suggest Figment.
Now that I've fully read this story, I feel like I can give my opinion on it. You put words and punctuation marks together in a way that was very sad and interesting. I can't really say I enjoyed it because of all the sadness and what not, but I was very invested in it and pretty much every fight was well written. Especially the final dream battle. I appreciate the ending. The story was depressing most of the way through, but that little happy ending was really nice.