Nopony pays attention to magic colour
“But… but…” Twilight stuttered. “Don’t any of you believe me?” She looked pleadingly around at the rest of the Elements. “Not one?”
“Of course not!” Trixie said, loudly. “Trixie could not possibly believe that Mi Amore Cadenza, who congratulated her so after her award-winning performance at the school play the first year she knew Twilight, could be evil!”
Twilight blinked, despair giving way to confusion. “But-“
“Silence!” Trixie turned her nose up. “Trixie will hear no more of your lies. Good day.”
The azure mare flounced off.
“See, dear?” Rarity said. “You’re the only one who’s confused. I understand, it’s hard, because you feel like she’s taking your brother away, but-“
An anvil came flying in through the window and smacked into a rippling green shield about two inches short of Cadence’s face.
Trixie reappeared in a puff of smoke, enveloped in a shield. “On the other hoof, this is clearly NOT Mi Amore Cadenza.”
“What makes you think that?” Dash asked, over the general hubbub of shock and confusion.
“Trixie’s performance was not award winning in the slightest. She managed three words, was overcome with stage fright, and teleported herself, half the floor and every other costume on stage into the basement. It was a disaster. But Cadence laughed her mane off when she was told, and it still makes her giggle at the merest mention.”
Trixie shrugged. “Besides, her magic colour is green. Is Trixie the only observant one here?”
A bolt of green lightning two inches thick smashed into Trixie’s shield, shattered it, and drove her into Applejack and Rainbow Dash. All three ended up in a heap on the floor at the other end of the room.
Trixie’s hoof stuck up out of the pile. “Trixie considers this vindication! Also ow.”
Shining Armour galloped in. “What's going on? Dear? Why are half the Elements of Harmony in a heap on the floor?”
“Forty-three percent!” Trixie corrected.
“And why do I suspect it was your fault, Trixie?”
“Experience?” Twilight muttered.
Rarity ignored the byplay. “Since when did Cadence have green magic, Sir Armour?”
“Green?” Shining said, frowning. Come to think of it, the last few times she'd cast a spell, it had been with a green overglow. But... the spells were cast with her normal colour.
But it was green.
But... normal colour...
“Oh, do you have another headache, dear?” Cadence said, advancing.
Twilight moved to block her. “Whoever you really are, you're not touching my brother.”
“Trixie would suggest that next time you attempt to confront somepony, you do it in front of someone at least as powerful as them.” Trixie had finally disentangled herself from the pile of pony up against the wall, and cantered up to her friend's side. “Twenty-three.”
Twilight nodded. A single shield built, encompassing both of them, and made of mingled magic. Trixie's number code indicated the way they were to interleave their magics, resulting (hopefully) in something far more powerful than one alone. “Pinkie, see if you can sort out whatever's happened to my brother.”
“Why me?”
“Trixie thinks it is because you don't make sense.”
“That makes sense!” Pinkie said cheerfully, then frowned. “Which would mean it doesn't. Hmmm...”
The false-Cadence and both powerful unicorns faced one another down in a standoff, looking for tiny cues that would indicate weakness. Twilight and Trixie alone were powerful, and working together their strength was – not enough to match an alicorn, perhaps, but possibly enough to resist one if they stood wholly on the defensive. If 'Cadence' made a move, then the question would be settled, and neither side was confident enough to-
Applejack sighed. “Why is it ah have to be the smart one sometimes. RD, go fetch the Princesses.”
A rainbow blur shot out of the room, flying at about two feet above head height and causing everything in the room to flutter about in the wind.
'Cadence' snarled slightly. Now she was under a time limit. She'd have to smooth all this over quickly, and hitting the minds of all those present would be difficult.
No other options were left.
Dropping her disguise, the Changeling queen slammed forward with a bolt of power representing about three years' life energy. The two Magic bearers' shield warped and fluttered like a sail in a high wind, but held.
However, three of the four guards watching the standoff also dropped shapeshifts, knocked the last one out and lunged for the remaining ponies.
The duo's magic-polarized shield fell when Twilight was kicked unceremoniously in the head by a Changeling, and Trixie went down less than a second later to a stun spell that probably could have kept a Hydra unconscious for a week.
Chrysalis inhaled deeply to offset the effort of channeling through so much mana, and looked around. Things were mostly under control. The unconscious guard was being dragged into a corner for dealing with later, and even the annoying pink pony was held in the air by the other two of her Changelings. She took over control of the magic surrounding Pinkie, and hit her with another stun spell on top of that.
“Have you any idea how annoying this is?” Chrysalis asked, her voice trembling slightly. “I was so close to sorting it all out, and you... infuriating ponies have to nearly spoil everything. I wonder why Cadence never told me about the light blue one...” The queen snorted. “Probably thought to trip me up. Well, I'll send you both down there to join her.”
She turned to the guards. “Two of you, replace the purple and light blue unicorns. You.” The third one was indicated, as his fellows began to change. “Get the real unicorn guard out of here – carry him down to the infirmary in your guard disguise. I will be down to change his memory as soon as I have smoothed things over here.”
“What is the cover story?” Twilight's voice asked from the changeling adopting her form.
“Twilight Sparkle and Trixie were both convinced that there was something wrong with Cadence, and acted with extreme force without listening to reason. I dissipated their anger, reminding them of their friendship with me, and now they are fine.”
“Understood.” Trixie's double said.
Chrysalis' horn flared green, and the original unicorns vanished in a swirl of sparks.
“Now. Lift all of the others, so they can see me. I want this story consistent.” Chrysalis began to mentally prepare her memory-alteration spell. The episode with Shining Armour nearly breaking free had at least shown she'd done it well enough with him – a potentially very dangerous unicorn being paralyzed by contradictory thoughts was enough for her to be working with.
Twilight awoke in near darkness. “Uh... what happened?”
No response.
Fighting down an irrational wave of panic, Twilight lit her horn with a simple light spell.
...well, that explained how comfortable she felt. She'd landed on Trixie. And, for whatever reason, the other pony was not responding in any way.
“Trixie? Are you alright?” Twilight asked, rolling off her and getting up.
Trixie was silent. She was breathing, the long and slow breaths of the deeply asleep.
“Right, how did I used to handle this...” Twilight cast her memory back to days when both of them had had early lectures. “Ah, right.”
Her horn flickered slightly as she cast a spell - the hyperbolic amplification.
“WAKE UP!”
The room – cave – they were in shook slightly. Small rock particles bounced on the floor, driven by the force of Twilight's sudden mimicry of the Royal Canterlot Voice.
Trixie bolted upright, driven by the learned reflex of years. “Trixie is up, Twilight, you can stop... wait. This isn't our rooms.”
“No.” Twilight agreed grimly. “I think we were sent underground by whoever or whatever that was replacing Cadence.”
“Right.” Trixie said, forcefully. “Let us show her who she was dealing with.”
“I think she already knows.” Twilight said, deadpan. “She smashed your best shield, nearly blew through our joint one and then something hit me on the back of the head.”
“Not what Trixie meant.” The azure unicorn concentrated... then did a double take at her back, at the floor, and behind Twilight just in case. “That fiend! She has stolen my robe and wizard hat!”
“I thought the term was 'mage'?”
“Irrelevant! What is relevant is that that was where most of Trixie's useful equipment was. Like, say, all the paper we could have used to warn everypony what was going on, via Spike.”
“Don't they already know?” Twilight asked, vaguely. “I mean, Rainbow did-”
“Consider the following. This unknown being is capable of changing her shape. She is also possessed of allies, who were infiltrated into the castle – less time was taken for them to arrive than for the Hummingbird to fetch Princess Bright light and Princess Night light, so-”
“I really wish you'd stop calling them that-”
“-so therefore it is at least possible that the allies can shapeshift as well. Why remove us from the picture, if not because they were planning on imitating us? The lack of yourself might be explained away due to a sulk, but Trixie herself has no particular attachment to your brother and would openly be planning on starting a pie fight at the wedding.”
Twilight gave up. “Tell you what, keep talking and I'll see if the conclusions are any use to us.”
“Now, they did not remove all involved from the room, just us. This we know because we arrived together and any others would as well.”
“Okay, I'm going to interrupt. How do you know that?”
“Dust. There are three exits, and not one of them has the dust disturbed upon the floor itself – there is merely a new layer from your shout settling onto it. And if we were to be split up, the powerful mages capable of synchronization would be placed in different groups. Now, this means there must be some way to render the yokel, the doormat, the neon sign and your brother unable to explain.”
“I don't follow the first part, but I'll grant you the second.” Twilight said, running thought her list of divinatory spells. Once she had a position and depth, she could know if a teleport was possible.
“In addition, Shining Armour had noticed nothing unusual about this entity before now. In light of your accusations, Trixie suspects mind magic – and in that case it is lucky for the entity that she placed us down here.”
“Why?” Twilight asked, frowning. “Why us specifically? If she can get to Shining...”
“Trixie has some powerful failsafes around her mind, after what happened last time.” Trixie looked down for a moment, before her head snapped round to one of the entrances. “Who goes there?”
“Trixie?” Came a weak voice.
“Nooo... Trixie is here.” Trixie answered slowly. “She will ask again. Who goes there?”
“It's me, Trixie, Twilight - Princess mi Amore Cadenza.”
“Cast a spell.” Trixie snapped.
“Pardon?” both the other ponies asked in unison.
“Cast a spell right now.” Trixie's horn began to glow as she built a lightning spell.
Cadence quickly cast a weak light spell, illuminating her more fully – and Trixie let hers dissipate.
“Good. Your magical colour is normal.”
“I don't understand – and why are you two here? Did you run into Chrysalis as well? But you'd only be in Canterlot for... the wedding.” Cadence' face fell. “Has it been that long already?”
“Chrysalis...” Trixie rolled the name around on her tongue. “Interesting. Now, both Trixie and Twilight worked out that you had been replaced rather quickly, but we think this Chrysalis has been brainwashing Shining Armour. And it may be that... she?” Cadence nodded. “Has managed to smooth over our accusations.”
Princess Celestia came into the room at a canter, stopping on seeing not the standoff Rainbow had described but a relatively amicable eight ponies talking in small groups.
“What was going on? From what Rainbow Dash said to me, there was about to be a fight!”
“No, it's all our fault.” Twilight said, looking ashamed. “I was worried about how Cadence was going to take Shiny away, and Trixie got overexcited again-”
“She did not!” Trixie interrupted. “She merely paid what appeared – at the time – to be appropriate caution.”
“And we nearly did something stupid, but Cadence managed to stop us.”
“Well, then, my students, it seems you have-” Celestia stopped, suddenly struck by a sense of wrongness. “There is something not quite right. Has Trixie done something reckless again?”
“No.” Shining Armour said, shaking his head sadly. “My prospective wife was replaced some time ago by a brainwashing, insectile invader whose cohorts have replaced Trixie and my sister.”
Several jaws dropped – most notably on 'Cadence' herself. “What? Shiny, don't tell me you were-”
Shining Armour raised his head proudly. “I, you lying daughter of an eohippus, am Shining Armour, Knight-Captain of the royal guards, and expert in all kinds of magical shields and barrier spells. You use direct eye contact to hypnotize ponies, and you can't do it when there's an opaque magical barrier across their pupils.”
“You blinded yourself?” 'Cadence' asked, shocked.
“An officer has to make many sacrifices.” Shining said blandly. “Besides, it's temporary. More importantly... where did you send my sister and her best friend?”
The faux-alicorn's eyes flicked downwards for a fraction of a second. Shining of course did not spot it, but Celestia did. “I see. The old mines.”
“I had hoped to delay this.” 'Cadence' said, and slammed forwards with even more power than she'd thrown at Twilight and Trixie. Ponies and Changelings alike dove for cover as Celestia replied with a beam of her own, which met the reverting Queen's beam head-on and held it... though it slowly, gradually, began to crawl back towards Equestria's elder ruler.
Pinkie's tail twitched... sideways. “Everypony down!”
A kaleidoscope of light and sound erupted through the stonework and out again on the same side of the room, taking off most of that outside wall, as Rainbow Dash returned in style. Less than a second later, Princess Luna in full barding hit the Changeling Queen with the force of a small meteorite.
Dash ended her Rainboom, looped around again and landed on the floor. “Hey, everypony. AJ, you said 'Princesses', right? As in, plural?”
“That ah did.” AJ tipped her hat. “Good work.”
Shining Armour trotted over to the hole in the wall and looked out. “Good to see you, miss Dash. And, more importantly, hear you – best proof that Cadence' replacement wasn't trying to trick me any more. Hm, that can't be usual.”
“What?”
“Huge horde of insecty things like those fake guard, hovering outside the shield. So that's what they were planning...” Shining winced. “The shield's not going to hold terribly long if I have to keep it up against this sort of attack.”
“Er...” Fluttershy's voice was quiet as usual, but the sudden absence of the loud sounds of combat meant it was heard easily. “Why are they attacking in the first place?”
“We need love.” Twilight's doppelganger answered promptly. “Feed off it, live off it. Our queen's plan would have given us all the love we needed.”
“But why not just ask?” Fluttershy continued. “I love all kinds of things. Mainly animals, but if someone's hurt, or in trouble, or... just... there, really... I care for them.”
“Unless a Minotaur's spoken to her recently.” Dash clarified.
“That's not helping.” Rarity said quietly.
“Sorry.”
“You... do.” The changeling said, wonderingly. “How? Why would you give your energy to one who tried to harm you?”
“Love doesn't cost anything, silly!” Pinkie said, bouncing over. “It's because of how it's a positive, runaway reaction that consumes no reactants!”
She looked around at a dozen blank faces. “Fine, then. Because it's something where by giving it away you get more of it! Like measles? No, that's worse... Hmmm...”
“Pinkie, are y' plannin' a musical number again?”
The pink earth pony tried to hide a musical stand and sheaf of notes behind her. “Nooo...” Everyone wondered where they'd come from in the first place, then shrugged it off.
“Actually, I had one all ready.” Chrysalis said, from where the Royal Sisters were keeping her at horn-point. “I thought it was good – it has a lovely double meaning in it about how 'this is the day I longed for'.”
“Ooh, sounds good!” Pinkie ruffled through several pages of musical notation. “Not bad, but you might want to get Cadence singing along for full impact. Cut the view between you and her to show off the double meaning.”
Chrysalis blinked. “Are those my notes? I left those at home! Where did you get them?”
“It's Pinkie.” chorused every other pony in the room. For them, the explanation was sufficient.
“Alright, then.” Chrysalis said a moment later, acceding to Celestia's suggestion. “I'll do that.”
Chrysalis slowly trotted over to the window, covered by both alicorns the whole way, and connected her mind to the swarm. Her voice rolled out, full of power and authority.
“STAND DOWN. INVASION CALLED OFF.”
Several hundred ponies throughout Canterlot looked vaguely disappointed, then transformed into Changelings and took to the air.
“Not terribly poorly planned.” Luna commented. “Good infiltration measures. Though I question your expenditure of so much power to handle just one of us.”
“...are you talking shop with me?” Chrysalis asked, incredulous.
“This is Equestria. We have a good track record for making enemies friendly. Besides, you did better than me.”
“There.” Twilight said, firmly. “That's the way out.”
“Trixie thinks it is very high.” The azure unicorn said. “And she also thinks that a location spell which actually gave our location would be better.”
“Oh, shush. Besides, I've been more concerned with...” Twilight ran over the last year and change in her head. “Every other type of spell that's not dark magic.”
Trixie shrugged, no mean feat for a unicorn. “She will see you at the top.” A bamf of smoke replaced her, and she waved from the mine entrance.
“I didn't know she could teleport that far.” Cadence said. “She must have been practicing.”
“We've both had a lot of practice recently.” Twilight said. “You know I can teleport at least as far as Ponyville now?”
“Most impressive.” Cadence agreed. “Now, I'm afraid I'll have to get a bit of a run up, I'm not exactly in peak condition for takeoff. Would you mind..?”
“Oh, sorry.” Twilight joined Trixie to clear the takeoff area, and set about unlocking the door to the mine.
“Psh.” Trixie said after not more than a couple of seconds. “Let Trixie show you how it is done.”
Twilight stood back, letting her friend work on it.
A moment passed in stillness...
“Hm. It would appear that Trixie is out of ideas when she does not have access to her equipment.”
“And what were you planning if you did have access to said equipment?”
“Rainbow extract.”
“Trixie!” Twilight half-shouted. “We don't want to bring down the entire roof!”
“Second option would be a crowbar.” Trixie rolled her neck. “Third would be a screwdriver, and fourth would be-”
“Wait!” Twilight said excitedly. “An explosion is basically something burning fast - a fast chemical reaction, right? I mean, for stuff you used before the extract.”
“Indeed.” Trixie nodded. “That is basic.”
“I've seen you make paper explode before. Do you have a reaction accelerating spell?” Twilight pressed.
“Naturally.”
“Then rust the hinges off!”
“...Trixie will allow that that is a good plan.” Putting action to words, Trixie cast the spell. Twilight copied it, and within a few seconds the heavy-duty doors collapsed with a juddering BOOM.
Cadence alighted on the landing behind them. “Good work, you two. Now, let's make sure we arrive in time.”
“Trixie has always wanted to be the one who objects at a wedding.”
“Didn't you do that when our professor of mathematics got married?” Twilight asked.
“Indeed she did.” Trixie allowed. “But this time it shall be justified.”
“Trixie feels cheated.”
“At least everything worked out okay.” Twilight tried.
“Cheated.”
“Hello, Trixie, Twilight!” Rarity said, noticing them. “I'll get the others, do keep that table for us. Oh, this is Pupilla – she's expressed interest in a modelling career with Photo Finish and I!”
The alabaster unicorn swept off, somehow leaving the Changeling that had been following her behind at their table in a way that seemed entirely natural.
“So.” Trixie said after a few uncomfortable seconds. “Trixie understands that your race are empaths?”
“Yes.” The Changeling's current form wasn't quite a pony, and wasn't quite her base form. A featureless unicorn with a jet black coat and no cutie mark, it looked unusual – but less immediately startling than a Changeling naturally did.
“Does that make things easier?”
“You would think so.” Pupilla replied. “But because only the Queen has a voice in her natural form, it makes it harder to actually understand things.”
“How so?”
“The Queen of a Changeling hive was originally an adaptation to communicate with outsiders on their terms.” Pupilla explained, warming to her subject with every appearance of enthusiasm.
It is enthusiasm, Twilight. The lavender unicorn told herself firmly. Just because they feed on emotions doesn't mean they don't feel them themselves.
“Trixie thinks she sees. So because your main form of communication is empathic, your opinion on the plan was based primarily on how strongly Chrysalis felt about it.”
“Exactly. And we deferred to her as the expert.” Pupilla gave a shrug. “But in any case, that's over now. The example of Luna gives many of us hope.”
“Shouldn't that be 'Princess Luna'?” Twilight asked.
“She's not my princess – yet, at least, that depends on the diplomacy – and Queen Chrysalis isn't your queen.” Pupilla said.
“Trixie thinks she has you there.”
“Hi!” Pinkie said, materializing at the table. “Oh, you're the changeling that Rarity mentioned! Hello, I'm Pinkie, and if you're going to live in Ponyville then I'll have to throw you a party for it after the big super-party for stopping a war and all of Equestria getting a new friend!”
“...Did you know,” Pupilla said distractedly, “That your emotions taste like more sugar than is probably safe?”
“There's a surprise.” Trixie and Twilight chorused.
Dash arrived next, and promptly began alternating between demanding details of what she'd missed and gushing about the bits the unicorns had missed. “Oh, I wish you'd been there to see it, Trix! I blew a whole wall out of that room, and then Luna went in at nearly Rainboom speeds! It was awesome!”
“You are talking about my monarch here.” Pupilla said, with a hint of rebuke.
“And Trix here blinded Princess Luna and practically blew her up before we used the Elements on her.” Dash shrugged. “It's just how it works – if you don't have the Elements ready, either you beat 'em up until you do or beat 'em up until they start listening to reason.”
“Um... it's because of stress hormones.” Fluttershy said softly, sitting down herself. “Somepony isn't likely to listen because they're still in battle mode. It's why I got my black belt.”
“Yeah.” Dash nodded, then noticed everyone else looking startled. “What? She does chiropractory for bears.”
Rarity and Applejack arrived together, because the fashion designer didn't have anyone else to reach.
The farmer nodded as she sat down. “Good t' see you two, Trixie, Twilight. Hope you ain't the worse for wear.”
“No, we're fine.”
“Trixie is disappointed she did not get to say she objected at a wedding. And mean it.”
“Ah'm going to go ahead and take Twilight's answer instead.” AJ said amicably.
“So, I see you've been getting along fairly well with my friends.” Rarity said to Pupilla.
“Reasonably.”
“Enough to be going on with, I think. So!” Rarity looked over at Dash. “Did you get the news?”
“What news?” Dash looked wary.
“Well, if you don't know...”
“Just tell me already, Rarity!”
“Fine. You, dear, were asked for to conclude the flyby. By name.”
“Really?” Dash's face lit up. “You're not joking, are you?”
“Well, I could be mistaken, but Spitfire did mention how there was really only one pegasus to ask about a sonic rainboom.”
Rarity slid a small piece of paper over to the stunned pegasus. “I believe this details where you are to meet them for planning. Do hurry, they shall be taking off soon.”
Dash left the table straight up and curved like a seeker spell towards the indicated location, and most of the ponies around the table laughed.
“What's the problem, Trixie?” Twilight asked, noticing that she hadn't joined in.
“Eunni.” Trixie said succintly. “Trixie feels like she did not accomplish anything noteworthy.”
“I know what would help!” Pinkie said, rummaging improbably in her mane. “You see, I had a talk with Cadence when I set up the band, and she requested informality.”
“So?”
“Ta-da!” Pinkie pulled what she was looking for out.
A custard pie.
“I carry it everywhere in case of clown themed emergency.” She winked.
Trixie looked from the pie, to the pony called Pie, and back again. Then, slowly and deliberately, she lifted the confection in her magic.
“Trixie will be right back. Probably at high speed, being chased by an enraged alicorn and her husband.”
AN: To make this work, I had to have Twilight not confront disguised Chrysalis in front of Celestia. But the idea of confronting her in front of all the (other) Elements of Magic seems to make sense.
Pupilla is hopefully alright, as far as minor OCs go. I wanted to have a changeling to talk to. And in this fic I use the interpretation that they have independent thought, but no speech in their base form. (Pupilla's blank-slate form here is probably going to catch on, in-story, since it removes the need to either secure the ability to imitate a given pony, or to invent one...)
This is interesting, in that I wrote it while thinking about how a lot of the characters would react to changing situations - in particular, how would Shining use his "barrier warrior" type magic to defend against mind alteration if he knew it was coming, and in what stages would Chrysalis resort to violence over deceit.
Oh, and "daughter of an eohippus" would be somewhere between calling someone an unevolved monkey and calling them an S.O.B - the eohippus, more properly called the Hyracotherium due to a quirk of the taxonomic system, is the early cenozoic ancestor of all horses.
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I really like your rendition of the Canterlot Wedding. Twilight and Trixie play off each other very well. I wonder what other episodes or situations would change in this head canon.
1648497 I've got a few little mini-ideas. The one closest to completion is a variant of Dragonshy, where Trixie tries something after Pinkie but before Dash. It involves basically carting an enormous box of supplies up the mountain to start with, and then using reference material (D&D-style books, which in this universe could be very well researched) to plan her method of attack.
Eeeey!
Long time no see! And I thought this was dead.
Heh, still very amusing. I love Trixie's one-liners and her general thought track.
Yeah, I noticed the green tint of magic in the episode when I first saw it but not even Twilight caught onto that bit. You're slipping Twilight, especially after the MMMM episode!
Nice resolution to allow the Changelings to co-exist in Equestria. Really, all they had to do was ask.
Nice work!
This is awesome. And thoughtful. And your Trixie is best Trixie. And her dynamics with Twilight is awesom.e EVERYTHING IS AWESOME
pls write moar. I love the way she defeats enemies. Or befriends them.
1650150
Thanks. I tried to write Trixie as using a thought train that's not quite insane (in fact, very insightful) but which makes almost no sense and relies on quite a lot of assumptions
I try to pay attention to details like magic tint in general. In "An oath", my changeling OC Mirror has three forms he invented for camouflage - unicorn, pegasus and earth pony. In each case, the "talent" indicated by the cutie mark is something that a changeling can actually do one way or another (avoiding damage is faked by shapeshifting it away, gambling is faked by being an empath and hence able to read tells effortlessly, and disillusionment is faked by shapeshifting own coat colour), and the unicorn is one where the general colour theme is "green" (so green magic makes sense), while pegasus and earth pony are white and orange (meaning that he will be less likely to lose track of which he is thanks to their wildly differing colours).
And the resolution of the plot, from a story point of view, was intended to give the others (Fluttershy, here) a bit of focus time. I don't want Trixie to take over the events, though she is of course impacting them quite a lot.
Among the other careers I think a changeling would be good at:
Acting and performance on stage
Child care (can tell if a charge is upset just as it happens)
Teaching (can tell who is the bully and who is not understanding well - perhaps teacher's assistant)
Lots of medical applications
Counselling ("Now, I understand that you're trying hard, but I just don't feel the love here...")
Anything where lie detection would help
The guards (as themselves this time) - ability to sense hostile intent? Sign them up!
1650242
Heh, good choices for changelings to get into. They are a living, (breathing?) mood ring!
I noticed that Twilight and Trixie didn't get the big hero moment but at the same time I'm glad. The others got to do something for once. OP unicorns anyway!
1650198 Heh, thanks. I try to have a bit of myself in Trixie, but then add a bit of someone else... if that makes sense... and so their behaviour is pretty close to "vitriolic best buds". They argue about absolutely everything except the important stuff - and if someone will spend ten minutes debating with you over the relative awesome factor of the Wonderbolts but won't even hesitate in putting herself between you and an angry demideity, that's pretty true friendship in my opinion.
I was sort of going for "crazy awesome" with Trixie. She's kind of cracked, but that same sideways train of thought enables a lot of her success. What sane pony would keep an anvil readily accessible at all times...
1650256 Pretty much. Trixie got the big moment in Elements of Harmony, Twilight got it in Return of Harmony, and this third one was everyone else to a greater or lesser extent. (Well, except Rarity. I'll have to work out one for her... but she did manage to handle Pupilla rather well.)
Oh, one fun character trait Trixie has is a massive sense of drama. Take the events of (my) Return of Harmony. She worked out where the Elements were, but decided it would be more impressive if Discord thought he'd won (and it would get him to stand still long enough, of course). A good deal of her indignation at the end of this chapter is that she feels a great dramatic opportunity to OBJECT!!! was wasted.
1650073 No fic of mine is ever dead! Though in many cases that will only be proven via necromancy. (it's not evil it it isn't human, or that's what Dresden Files teaches me...)
Hell, to this date at least two one-shots have been reopened for continuation on fanfiction.net.
Me: Oh hey! Here's that Trixie and Twilight story that the guy told me about!
*looks at the length of the first chapter*
Me: ....
Me: ....
Me: ....HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THAT'S LONG
1650506 That it is. But it's basically both Elements of Harmony and Return of Harmony in one go. These are sort of "episode parodies" almost, so the next two chapters are "Look before you sleep" and "Canterlot Wedding".
1650522 Idea: Break the first chapter into two parts, each about 5,000 words. That way, it's a little easier to get through.
Don't worry, this problem happened with me two, I wrote a chapter that turned out to be 8,000 words, so I split it into two 4,000 word chapters.
1650539
How is big chapters is a problem? Up to 10k words chapter is nice.
1650680 Well, often, in my case at least, it's that the chapter is so long I loose track with what's happening. I've found that 2,000-5,000 word chapters are overall the best length, not too short (then you feel like it ended too fast), nor too long (where's you feel it goes on forever)
It really depends also on the type of story you're writing.
If your writing something like Past Sins or Mare-Do-Well: Regeneration, I understand why you'd need such long chapters. That way you can have space for good character development.
If your writing something like A Night to (Try to) Remember, which is lightweight comedy, a shorter chapter length works better, because you're not trying to write anything deep or thought provoking, you're just trying to make your readers enjoy themselves or have a good laugh.
But then again, that's just my opinion. In my Iron Mare story, the average chapter length is about 3,000-4,000 words, which suits me just fine.
1650706
I get what you're saying. But I think one thing that maybe can go to other chapter - 'Return of Harmony' scene. Everything else is that exact character development and pretty much whole complete story, so no need to break it at half. So, it's up to Saphroneth to deside
1650725 Exactly. It's up to him to decide.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:
You can check out the Iron Mare story I mentioned. It's on my page, obviously.
1650758
Your mind tricks won't work on me! I'll go and take a look at this story BECAUSE I WANT TO! You have nothing to do with MY DECISION, got it?
1650775 i take it you liked it
Thanks for the fave
1650725
1650706
Basically, my chapter length in the first chapter is often determined by when I decide to sling the one-shot up.
When it turns out to be popular and/or I have more ideas, I usually have a more sensible and better defined chapter length. That said, since I'm used to fanfiction.net where a few thousand words for a chapter is short, I will tend towards longer ones.
(The longest chapters I have are for a Naruto fic, where the first one clocks in at about 20K words, and that's certainly comedy.)
1651001
Can you give me link to your fanfiction.net stories?
1651012
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2996114/
Yes.
(Two of these are actually TVTropes fanfic recs, which startled the hell out of me... the Pokemon one and the NGE one, for reference)
1651001 I see. It makes sense now.
1651578 At a rough guess, the number of my 15 or so published fics that were not intended originally to be one-shots is...
Three. Wow.
You have mastered the cultured insult. Also, Next chapter should be with Sombra.
This was nice. In fact, the way they dealt with the Changelings actually seemed more... in character for the show than canon. I mean, I know they turned Discord to stone but at least you can try to justify the Changelings's actions as seeking food while his are pretty much pure sadism.
The bit where Luna talks shop with Chrysalis was particularly great.
1654576
As it happens, I'm a brit, and I also played Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts a lot recently. (The game with the most British voice acting I've heard in a good long while). So I was very much thinking in terms of "Officer and a Gentleman" for Shining Armour's lines. A True British Officer is stiff upper lip, and insulting without having to be crude. (There's actually a story of some Brit officers in Korea whose unit was nearly overrun because his request for help was 'we've got a bit of a sticky situation here' and the radio operator was American - to an American it sounds like 'things are going alright but we're running into resistance', to a Brit it sounds like 'we're running out of bullets and I'm keeping one out of the command post with a stick'.)
If my inspiration follows any sort of pattern, the next thing I put together will be a "regular episode" parody - say, Dragonshy or something.
But who knows. (I certainly don't).
1656030
In my mind, the reason that they were able to reach a negotiated solution in this case was because they had a way to get Chrysalis on the back foot without catapulting her out of the country entirely - that, and it's somehow easier to think kindly of someone who hasn't encased you in gunk...
In any case, I half imagine the motto of Equestria is "I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend".
And yes - I suspect the Changelings didn't have a full understanding of how love works for beings that aren't them.
I can fully imagine Luna and Chrysalis doing more of that talking-shop.
"You mean you tried to stop a group including two pegasi... with a river?"
"Silence thy mouth. We had about two seconds to think of something before Our sister hit Us in the jaw with a hoof."
1656549
To be fair, it was a river with an upset sea serpent in it. Maybe she was hoping he'd be angry and attack rather than sad and crying after she cut his mustache (making it a reprise of the manticore strategy).
Also, it we're discussing talking shop, the bit where Pinky helps Chrysalis do her musical number was pretty great, too.
I really, really enjoyed this chapter. I love how your version of Trixie acts and how she and Twilight talk with each other. They just have this wonderful dynamic that I love. It's the same with some of the other stories I love, the main character/characters can just make you love them so much, that you keep coming back for more, stories like Retired to Equestria. I also liked how you resolved the Changeling invasion and that they actually looked disappointed, I mean they go through all that effort to plan and perpetrate an invasion and it gets foiled and called off at the last minute
.
I enjoyed your use of magic and the mecahnics/technical side of spells such as Shining Armor's shield spell. Also YES! Luna had an important role this time.
I dunno what episode or original adventure you plan to do next, but I think it should be some of the earlier episodes, like the Mare-Do-Well one, can't deny Trixie wouldn't enjoy a little acting.
Anyways, glad to see this old favourite updated, I look forward to future chapters as always.
1659675
There may be a bit of logic behind it, but not a lot. I remember making comments about pretty much all the other aspects of the challenges when they came up, but they do sort of deteriorate over time. Cliff collapse: potentially fatal. Manticore: highly dangerous. Illusions: Fairly well done, but illusions should ALWAYS leave an escape route or it'll be obvious they're not real when the characters move through them. River + sea serpent: they had to go along the bank to even reach the sea serpent, and if he hadn't been a right luvvie then they'd have been completely fine anyway. Broken bridge: please. (though the tempting trio are vaguely good, just they would have problems actually following up on their promises... not to mention how Dash could have legitimately asked how she knows they're so much better, if she's never even heard of them. A show-off like her in a secret team? Not like she'd ever get to actually DO something...)
The musical number bit was partially inspired by a fic I read (Scootamom) where Cadence is being treated for "an addiction to musical numbers". So I gave Pinkie a mild form of the same condition, and then Chrysalis spoke up... I swear, sometimes it feels more like I'm recording what the characters say than actually writing their lines.
1660055
Thanks. Writing them just flows sometimes, it's amazing. You know, everything after "Also ow." was written in a two hour burst right before submission?
And yes, there are some things in fandoms that I like to see when treated well, and when I write them I naturally tend to go for producing that. In this case, the Changeling invasion ending amicably is one of them and Twilight and Trixie being friends is another (hence, well, this fic).
The whole "awww..." was basically the funniest treatment I could think of for the abort of the invasion. Though, of course, things worked out well in the end.
I do enjoy applying logic and systematic approaches to things in many fandoms, and this is one of the times I got a chance for MLP. First off, there was what "Unicorn mages who are childhood friends" actually means, which is to say they know their magics and can make them work together as one. Second, there was the "barrier warrior" thing. I remember once shocking a friend by describing the MLP magic system in terms that would work just as well in Fate/Stay Night, and that's where the "if you can word it right, it works" comes from, along with the idea that "the pony interprets the cutie mark":
Everyone has an Origin, which is the form of their soul and their abilities. Not everyone has magic, but even a non-magic user will usually have natural talents related to their Origin. So an Origin of "hammer" could mean a blacksmith, or a builder, or a warrior who specializes in using hammers. For a mage, the Origin defines what spells they can access. An Origin of "fire" would mean that, with enough mental and magical ability, you could make spells to fly (jet propulsion), heal (burning away infection), learn fast (burning up a book to 'read' it) or simply to create temperatures hotter than a forge. Anything goes so long as it fits with the Origin somehow.
"Origin" of course refers to "cutie mark"... and since Shining's one is basically "barriers" I wondered what that could do. I had two choices - barrier around the mind to react violently if breached, or barrier across the eyes to block the hypnotic attack. I picked the second, and had Trixie make vague implication to the first as a countermeasure she has after her Discord trauma.
As for Luna... yeah. I really, really wanted her to save the day. And seeing as Luna is probably the more combative of the two sisters (she's not been around for the thousand or so peaceful years Celestia has) then arriving as a one-mare cavalry charge worked. (Plus a very subtle reference to her portfolio - meteorites and meteors are most easily seen in the night sky)
Plus, bit of a running gag: battling deities, the first thing to go is an outside wall.
One of the things I've got most progress on in the snippets is "Dragonshy". I rather imagine that both the dragon and Trixie would be shouted at.
(if you like my style of writing comedy, I have several non-MLP comedy fics on my FF.net account that you might be interested in)
I really do enjoy these stories. And the way Trixie and Twilight play off/relate to each other.
Also, the nicknames you have for them.
I hope you keep going. You only have what? 2 seasons worth to cover?
1681403
Thanks. What I was aiming for in general is for Trixie's view of Twilight to be "that insufferable know it all friend you hang out with all the time" and for Twilight's view of Trixie to be "the nutcase friend who you hear shout 'watch this!' just before they do something that alerts the police". And, because of that very irritation with one another, they're VERY close friends. Their dynamic, in fact, is modelled as much on a sibling relationship as anything. If Twilight is the "mother figure" to Spike, Trixie is the female version of the "incredibly cool uncle".
I think that the key facet of Trixie's personality, though, is that I gave her some slightly more obvious humility. And portrayed it in her being ridiculously over the top to the point of self parody. She knows full well nobody takes her seriously.
Argle. So many episodes...
The question, really, is often if I can find a good launch-pad for a parody with some endurance to it. A couple of thousand words at least. In the case of Canterlot Wedding, nothing really clicked at first - everything up to "Trixie considers this vindication!" took about a week. Then when Shining came in things clicked, and everything after that to the end was written in about two hours.
My writing is kinda like that. It has inspiration bursts.
THIS. There should be more of this!!
1681644
Hmmm.. wonder what the dynamic duo will do with the Crystal Empire. Sombra was a very boring villain so not much meat there to play with.
I laughed all the way reading through this entire story. Good show.
Trixie and Twilight has an interesting dynamic, particularly as they are on friendly terms and Twilight takes a back seat. They bicker but have that whole "used to each other's idiosyncracies" thing. Trixie clearly has benefitted from their relationship as she is less prideful and more playful, while Twilight is less changed, other than a higher tolerance for crazy and stupid tolerance.
Trixie does have some Maru Sue-ish traits - she befriends everypony despite being fairly rude to them, she always seems to know what's going on, and she was capable of outwitting three major villains, including Discord. On the other hand, she has plenty of bad moments to at least somewhat counterbalance it.
And she's crazy awesome and knows it. Dash's showoffishness, Pinkie's crazy, Twilight's magic - together they form
VoltronTrixie.I'm hoping this story will update eventually. I'm looking forward to it.
2960297 I certainly try to balance Trixie, though it is tricky. (And not everyone's friends with her - her relationship with Shining, in particular, is on the cool side of tolerance. But it just doesn't come up much, I'll admit.)
You might be interested to know, if you weren't aware already, that my fic MLP Time Loops eventually features this version of Trixie. (Well, she's the canon Trixie, but her second go around the time loops was more-or-less the events of this fic - so it's a major impact on her personality.)
2963443
Well, I was going to say that a brash and overconfident attitude can impress and win over others as long as you know when to rein it in, which Trixie does, but I seem to have missed actually writing that. That's what happens when you make comments at 5:00 AM, I guess.
I'm putting Time Loops on my to-read list. Sounds interesting.
2964346
I will freely admit that a major part of Trixie's personality here is "that crazy friend who regularly scorches their own eyebrows off", She IS crazy, make no bones about it, but she's also a showmare and stage magician - which means she's very good at misdirection and reading people. Basically, she uses high-risk, adrenaline junkie tactics most of the time.
It is, however, a persona. She can turn it off, as it were, when she wants to be actually serious. That's kind of her psychological vulnerability, actually - the face she presents to the world most of the time is a self-caricature. (Albeit one that's quite fun to be.) And, because I like layered characterization, that same self-caricature is what makes her bearable. The simple fact she knows how silly she is, and has a sense of humour about it.
...at least, that's what I'm aiming for.
2964437
She rather reminds me of the one from the "Life In Manehatten" series, where she's the Element of Laughter. As you could probably guess, that incarnation can afford to not take herself too seriously most of the time.
Reading Time Loops now. Pretty fun, if rather sporadic. Judging from other fics with similar ideas ("Hard Reset" and Best Night Ever"), taking advantage of the loops to do crazy stuff must be some kind of law. Love it.
2964505
I did do a snippet where Trixie was Element of Magic. Stand up comedy, mostly.
And yes, the Loops are basically a vehicle for omake type funny. I've tried to include a broader base as time goes on (so having proper character development - I'm particularly proud of "Reconciliation" - and making sure the pranks aren't actually too harmful to anyone.)
These were fantastic. I hope you come back to this AU at some point. If nothing else, I want to see Trixie vs. Sombra.
4293490
Well, she's had to deal with Trixie for most of the last decade. By now, she's used to it. (And a little glad it's somewhere else.)
I really liked this!
So...is this dead?
6998274 Kinda, the alt-Trixie's been subsumed into MLP Loops (where she's how I characterize Looper-Trixie).
6999056
So which loops are her loops then? I mean, I read some of it, but I got turned off by how random, and yet, at the same time, not random, it was. I say it like that because the loopers remember the other loops that they went through, and it's confusing...
6999374 She turns up kind of a lot - sorry I can't be much more specific. You could search for Trixie in the downloaded set.
6999495
Got it.
REALLY good job writing Pinkie.
Somehow I really like the idea of Chrysalis just calling off the invasion, and then everyone sitting down for tea. It wouldn't be out of place in a Monty Python sketch.
Somehow I am not surprised either. It's funny to think that even her thoughts can cause pancreatic cancer, though.
1681644
That dynamic comes across quite well. Except in this case, "police" is replaced by "Exasperated Solar Diarch."
1660495
There is also now a story about how there's a strange ambient magic effect that causes everyone to act OOC until someone has learned an important life lesson, at which point everyone nearby gets mind-melded into a song-and-dance routine.
Also, I find it surprising just how much F/SN ends up being referenced for weird stuff like that. I still have not seen it, but I can understand the reference. Personally, I use a SCIENCE!!-based approach to ponies and their magic (You'd be surprised what you can do with fine control of subatomic particles... [Think nanites, but remotely, powered by an antimatter plant]), but I left the marks out of it. Way I see it, it's just a marking that represents some aspect of their favorite activity, with increasing levels of vague-ness depending on how hard it is to represent the activity in a drawing. (Fashion --> Bling --> Gems, for instance)