For my supporting for flutterdash, i had finally made a fan fic about it.
Chapters (1)
RewColty
Joined 29th Jan, 2012 ·
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I believe you mean "their"
"There" We are going over there.
"They're" They're coming over to visit.
"Their" Their book is on the table.
Hope this helps.
And I open the page and it's one big wall of text.
239712
Quite.
FIXITFIXITFIXITFIXITFIXIT
FIXIT
Holy huge wall of text batman!
You need to work on spacing out the paragraphs, and there were some spelling and grammar issues. To me it just seemed really choppy and had little to no flow to it.
Just try and learn from your mistakes and I'm sure your next work will be better.
Cheers,
jangledorf
Wait..........ok i will
WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE RAINBOW DASH LESBIAN.....*INSERT RAGE COMMENT HAIR*
yyyyyyyyeahhhhh im sorry. i agree with Jangledorf. it didn't flow, and your vocabulary's not so accurate. I did get it though, and it as quite nice! but i only disliked it cause it didnt flow so well... sry
239839 it's a fic. Most shipfics have somepony in the mane six lesbian.
Fucking masterpiece.
Huge wall of text... A complete reading turn-off
Do you have anyone to proof-read and edit?
its not that i don't want to read it, its just that walls of text give me headaches
Why is everypony complaining about the wall of text? Every other story on fim fiction has that. Its actually a good thing because in order for a story to be good, it has to have TEXT
You have the basis of a great story here. However you need to work the structure and making the story flow better. Other than that and a few minor issues, this is a good story
It was a pretty good story but it went a little too fast. I was confused throughout. I would also recommend working on your grammar.
240268 you have to understand, when there are more paragraphs, that are smaller than a giant paragraph, and properly spaced, then there wouldnt be a complaint about a 'huge wall of text.'