A massive fire breaks out in the Everfree Forrest, and every pony must deal with the repercussions of the disaster in their own way.
I have edited this story heavily from the version that was first released. I've cut over two thousand words, and it's a better read now. Please comment to tell me what you liked and what I need to improve on, both in the story and with my general style.
This was my contest entry for the February 2012 FIM write-off, and originally it was horribly received by a majority of the readers.
Chapters (1)
Interesting. Quite a serious subject matter you used there. Rather than take the show option you went for a faux realistic forest fire. I am impressed by the level of description and detail. I did not like the Trixie scene however, I don't think it was particularly justified and could have done with a lot more explaining. How did Twilight find her so fast for one? The final scene was a bit out-of-place and seemed to focus more on the tiny Trixie scene than the horrors of the fire. But I still liked this.
Well written. I like!
It was absolutely fascinating to watch how they dealt with the fire. This was a bold premise, taking the forest fire prompt and letting it burn down the entire Everfree, but it worked well in my mind. I've felt since I started reading your work that you have a talent for making stories and characters seem very real - this is no exception.
I definitely liked Trixie's scene. Although I do agree with 240666 that more lead-up to it might have been interesting. (I think! Not having attempted to write it myself, I can't prove that it would have worked. Looking back, I think it was already longer than any of the previous scenes - perhaps it didn't need any more time in the spotlight.) I'm comfortable with the justification for it, though. I'm entirely willing to believe that a tracking spell based on her magical fingerprint would lead Twilight straight to her.
I thought the ending was very appropriate - and again, a demonstration of your ability to communicate the reality of such things. The day after, it was a disaster. The next year, it was a tragedy. A decade later, it's history, and children play on the ground where heroes were once made. Such is our nature.
240666
Thank you. You're apparently in a minority in liking my story. I appreciate your kind words.
And I went back to subtly add more detail to how Twilight found Trixie. It was a locator spell.
241229
Thank you much.
297205
Thank you. You are a scholar and a gentlecolt.
I'm glad you enjoy my stories. I enjoy writing them. This one took a deal of time and effort more than most of them. It's worth it if I was able to entertain, though.
A very raw and real take. These ponies, they cause me to care.
2733605
I was going for just that effect. Thank you for reading and commenting.