Twilight knows something's up when Pinkie asks her for help with writing. But what harm could it do? Writing always was one of her favourite subjects...
Chapters (1)
sleepingwithwolves
Joined 8th Feb, 2012 ·
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too tired to edit
will do later
so here have my first draft crap
kthxbai
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7775-ok.gif
I like it
Cute. Always like seeing a Twinkie come along. In my mind I think it could have been expanded a little bit more but for what it is, its a cute read. You get a like and a fav.
I love TwiPie so this has all my wins. It was adorable--definitely original in the fact Pinkie's taking lessons on writing and not Twilight on baking. There were things that needed improvement--such as grammar and separating paragraphs more, but I won't get into much depth on that.
Over all, it was a very cute piece and I thank you for writing it. Have a thumb and favorite.
and feature box time!
d'awwww
Twilight wouldn't pick the pencil with her mouth, she'd magic it.
Thank you all so much for your comments!
2827877
Ah, that makes sense. I'm revising in a few minutes, so I'll be sure to look at that.
You sir are either from England, or Britain, or somewhere near there, because you use favourite instead of favorite.
You are not american, and I salute you.
2828322
lh4.googleusercontent.com/-MTXSUU7pVGk/TdSOdIGn7kI/AAAAAAAAA9w/pIn4Tth0L-E/s640/2169%25252520-%25252520flag%25252520rainbow_dash%25252520salute.jpg
i actually am american, i just really really wish i wasn't ;w;Should be too.
Nice story, very cute and short. I could see it being longer, but it works well.
Oh.........my.........freaking.........GOD!!!!! That was so adorable, I'm happy I read this it's so sweet.
Ok, one problem: Twilight is wrong about metaphor, and that absolutely would never happen. "Twilight's eyes were glowing" is absolutely a valid metaphor, unless she's in the middle of using the Elements on somepony. "X is Y" is merely the most simple and obvious form of a metaphor. Further, Twilight's example isn't even as good as Pinkie's, because there's no clear point of comparison. How were Twilight's eyes cupcakes? Were they frosted? Did Pinkie want to eat them? That bit could use some tinkering.
I liked it. It was original, which is a rare thing these days. Also the cover art was cute. Good work.
2828581
2828508
Thank you for the feedback!
2828322
I do that too, except I'm Canadian and that means spell check won't leave me the hell alone about it.
Cute story, would suggest putting more space between the lines.
2828932 you know you can just set it to English (UK) and it'll stop giving you hell about everything, right?
Also, greetings from Ottawa
2829275 Greetings from Markham!
Have my 5 hearts out of 5 for TwiPie
2829275
Salutations from Monteal, and I'll give that a try, thank you.
Aww, simply adorable!
I love the style in which you wrote this; it's simply perfect for the kind of theme you were trying to get over. And featured nonetheless! Congrats! 
You get a like and a fav.
cute little one shot man, ill make sure to check out some of your other stuff and give you a follow. keep up the good work.
2828932
I feel your pain! Also, okay, thank you.
So... much... d'aww.
I've never liked lesbian stories but this seems like it's going to be an awesome adventure!!
I can't wait for more!
2829386 Ah, Montreal. The driving there is terrible, but the food and buildings are amazing.
Fluffy as can be, but that's what I was looking for!
I like the original idea of Twilight and Pinkie becoming closer through something like writing, and to later use that as the way Pinkie asks her out.
An enjoyable little story, great work!
>>Joseph7 hey ya never know
ate
indicate that rarity was the one doing the waving
there also are a few instances of 'somebody' (which is fine)
Also, you referred to forelegs as 'arms' a time or two
"Twilight could tell (even if Pinkie was just being silly). None the less, she was flattered."
Wait, Twilight could tell what exactly? The sentence is either incomplete or I'm missing something here. Otherwise it was a good story although I feel the beginning part with Rarity was unnecessary and killed some of the suspense.
2829742
Montreal, the only reason why you survive the drive is the sheer desire for poutine.
2830117 I'm not a fan, actually. The smoked meat, on the other hoof...
2830143
'Sharpens pitchfork' Oh? Don't matter, foods food and it's all good here.
That was real good man.
That poem scene was so real that I couldn't even get down with it, and had to take a break because of just how real that shit was getting.
5/5 would bang again
That was a fun read.
Now to go die of diabetes.
~Skeeter The Lurker
A cute one. Also may be educational for some people. You did a great job making it a plot device
Indeed. A lovely, sweet story and a surprisingly effective way of introducing folks to some useful literary techniques. Bravo!
Daww =)
ooooh this looks interesting... will read this later when i have time
This story is AWESOME. I love it as an English major, and as a Brony. Using literary devices to tell a story. Brilliant! I love it!
2830232 your angry mob can get in line behind the enraged Potterheads with torches on my front lawn and the seething horde of Rainbow Dash fans with the crucifix behind them.
2831409
Where the bloody hell did these wankers turn up from?
I..uh..mob?
2831417 they all think poutine is Celestia's gift to us mortal beings from the heavens. I...do not.
2831462
Well it is awesome, but it's not like I'm going to rage just because I found somebody who doesn't like it as well.
I would however if you didn't like cake, it should be goddamn impossible for somebody to dislike all cakes.
2831465 word. I've known people who don't like pizza, chocolate and popcorn. All tragedies, to be sure.
2831467
There are a few out there buddy, and if you want one the simple solutions are to do either of two things.
One; stop whining and make it yourself. Two; stop whining and commission it.
Have a nice day.
2831469
There's a special spot in hell for those people, right with those who talk in movie theaters and door to doors salesmen, whether they're selling religion or vacuum cleaners doesn't matter.
physbiztech.com/sites/default/files/News%20Box_0.jpg
This box contains 55lbs of D'aww. Do with it what you wish
2831476
I do so love irony
This was a nice cute story.
>Dialogue was stilted and awkward at various points.
>Pinkie's dialogue revolves almost entirely around her love of baked goods. There's so much more to Pinkie than that, but that's all that comes through in the dialogue.
>the opening with Rarity felt unnecessary.
>This story could have benefited from more description
> lack luster grammar, and poor word choice
This needs a lot of TLC. I think that this story would be much better if told exclusively through Twilight's point of view, where Pinkie's motivations and thoughts were not readily apparent to the reader. There are only two points of conflict in the story (Pinkie working up the nerve to ask Twilight, and Pinkie feeling that Twilight is out of her league), and neither of them receives adequate attention.